one fifty

30.June 2014

        Sleep no more; all is silent but for the bells. The cloudy morning is darker today, and it is no morning for happy thoughts. The futility of getting up to go to work, wondering what the next evil deed of those is power will be.

        'A confused tangle of clothing on the floor and on a chair demand attention, most is to be washed anyhow. The contents of the bag are complete, leave for the street. The house door was unlocked all night, no-one tried it, no-one entered. Gut so!

        For the time of day there is an unusual amount of traffic on the roads, racing cyclists, taxis and bakery lorries.. The cars on the road are many, speeding to work; racing away from frustration ,aggrresive road rage at half past five in the morning.

The older lady, the man with the crutches and the good morning lady are all there today, whishing each other goo mengs. The man with the crutches and the special shoes gets on first.

      All drive five stops to the station.

        The smoker has had his hair trimmed, his ponytail is a pigtail now. He looks neater than he used to.

The yourma girl girs remembers the coffee and buttered brasagen, and under the onslaught of the multihorde calls for Anastasia. Several times. In the cafe the long haired girl with the stool for her handbag, the

man and the swarthy one.The mosaic maker joins later, rte has become quiet,-I do not know why-

        The Train is in, many people are on the platform waiting for the trains second half, There are no tables44 in the train today, need to balance coffee en the fight thee

         Young people with an enormous amount of baggage in very large suitcases have taken a whole row of seats for themselves and their hags..

        The rush for the beginning of the week has began. 

Rainday

the relaxing dribble and patter of the raindrops falling on the concrete of the yard draws an end to sleep. The sound is clear through the open window, and the open fanlight in the kitchen.
No tinnitus, gone for a moment. Peace, but there is already the thintinny voice advising of imminent return.
Walk around the rooms, go back to bed.
Listen to the silence.

Awaken, the morning has advanced. It is 8:30, and the righthand side of the head is a hissing chorus,  a gas jet-like sound almost beyond hearing, an inexpert whistle.
Son up, Homework.
such a good boy!

Coffee and cleanup the kitchen.
Sound of computers in the background, films about games and how to play them.
Arggh! GRRUMP!
Oh well, Sunday, homework done
This posting posted

sunny weekend

nightmares in the early morning.
what you get for sleeping in.
Son makes coffee.
tablet and water.
plays on the computer.
Half of that concentration on his schoolwork,
he would be in university.
That is the way it is, and is hard to change
Sound of sheep and pigs in the sitting room.
Manmade pixelviehzeug.

the gone cat lives in memory
still associating odd noises with her,
until the realization that it cannot be.

A ghost in the mind grabs every chance to return to life,
and to appear as a longing in the corner of the eye
to vanish fully on examination.

five four nine

27.6.2014

greying dawn, change from dark to light. Turn on the light, find these tablets, take one.

Drink.

stumble upon the clothes needed for the day, go upstairs, collect last nights work and leave the house.

There is a pink cloud on the pale blue sky behind the spire of saint Martins. The main road is being converted into a cultural market, complete with fish salesmen from Hamburg and vendors of Oriental and Asian produce. A noisy weekend in preparation.

        No good mornings today, seagulls over the river. Abmght and lovely morning, early joggers running in time over the bridge at the power station. The clock of Christ church glows in its mettallec way, four forty two. The Bus, its driver and the passengers with no small change.

        The cafe is in full chaos today, as a young man talking too much is behind the counter. Incompetent, and dotty. They have left the doors to the cafe locked, it is uncomfortable and stuffy. No detriment to the regulars, and on Monday, everything will be as used usually. Train, timely, crush getting in, seats plenty once insigd. Black haired chatterbox one seat ahead,  lecturing in. a nasal, north German engineers voice.

Talking opiniated drivel, informing his-partner of the problems of the world and his workplace. Change the seat, hear no more.

        Marbury committers flood the train, finding seats. discussing their problems. No joy in the morning, just the insult of disturbed sleep and unconsumed and undigested breakfasts, the reading of papers, the perusal of notes.... People warming up to prepare for the days use and abuse. A company of travellers, bundled together by neccessity, to split apart again to go about their various businesses at their varied destinations. 

four four nine

        26.6.2014

- greenish grey today. Dawn lighting, the day will shorten now past summer, autumn and winter. The birds, singing in the morning, and these hops thriving. Backaches and tinnitus, no enthusiasm for the day.

Leave for work, a fine morning, weatherwise. The pigeons, maybe twenty, feeding off the roads, these streets now deserted. All of the baker's bakers lorries are late today, maybe They were all watching football yesterday, live from Brasil! The bus stop is deserted, but the good morning lady arrives with a suitcase, she will be off into the weekend today. She must have a very ordered life..

The morning runner, all in black, runs down the road looking like a fence pole with legs, erect with his hands at his sides and tiny movements of his feet. He has shaved his head 'on both rides, having a strip of hair in the middle. He is slow, though he does this every day.

Yormas, as always, coffee. The girls are new, and very full of themselves. Very, indeed. Television shows the world cup, without round.. Aktherenagacious, no, all those sagacious comments. Lost.

A scraping round of dragged furniture heralds the arrival of the black coloured long-haired girl with the handbag. She drags the stool over the tiles, producing this noise of scraping, then to nit down on the steel stool herself with her handbag on her knees.

chatter, chatter,-

The man who is always sitting there has a fresh haircut. He looks a bit like a hedgehog from a child's book, with his polished pink face and his white bristles ->

It is a slow morning today..

Slow, tired and hot, 

three four nine

light and sound through the open window. Birds melodies and calls. What kind of birds are they? Blackbird? Not known, no knowledge of bird calls.
all bells at five, birdsong now silent,Strange.
Shower and shave, so civilized.

In the street the neighbor from the electricians place setting off on an early morning run, carefully attired in all the correct sports gear, with a colorful cap to protect his pate.
Good morning, good morning.
At the busstop
good Morning, Good morning.

Tired

Yormagirlas as a team today.
Getting in each others way.

The coffee is of its usual high standard.

train on time

Sleep

It is no day for effusive description

two four nine

24 June 2014

        Bad weather light in the window, grey, low-key illumination Silence. The clock needs new batteries. Bathroom, wash and comb the hair. Unruly, slept wet headed from last nights shower, Window open, listen to the birds.

        They sing, rising and falling, an American pop song. 'I'm a happy girl, in a happy world".

The catlight candle memorial is still burning, that is a great candle, it burns for two days solid.

Cat routine is terminated.

        Wait.

        sons helmet on the floor in the middle of the hallway. Not very tidy.

So what.

        Streets are dampening with the first drops of what may turn out to be the first rainy day in months. So it seems A forgotten light is on in the church side entrance, a brick gothic thing grown out of gone centuries and growing into more modern gothic fantasy's conceptions. The building site is now advertising for the new stops in construction, the new entertainment.

        good morning at the bus stop, bright and sprightly today. 'Allis as usual, even  that exsquary  hairy smoker. Yunus Yorma is inefficient and over friendly today.

But the coffee is fine..

People are in a mighty hurry to board the train today. Fintitokforemestitohovewtettenneat. First, to be foremost, to have a better seat. Just habit,

maybe, 

Squish or he squished. a certain amount of  prophylactic squishing too.

        Squish the other first, before he even thinks of sqishing me.

        The train rolls through a green landscape, waking up in the raain, soaking it up.

Plants thriving. 

one four nine

Mon,23 June,14

        Sad silence, count the bells, hear the radio clock. Silence, asap. for the birds outside, dumping and drying their way about their days business.

        Washing and shaving, thinking of gone-byes, see the light from the shrine in the yard. All asleep.

        First workday.

        clear, sunny day. Day of Troubles.

        Street on twobells, Martins hells.

   Grimmm's store, early light, small building site.

        The bus stop, a pigeon with a hanging wing. The woman in the sacking, with the sad old face is there. The good morning woman is not. The weather is warmer, and all has changed, like a play in the same scenery, with the same actors but a different director. The bus driver is new, a very young man: He takes his money and gives his ticket much as the others do.

Viewed from inside the bus, the crowd of shop workers going to work.. They are not smoking today.

        The smoker has left the Pale of his square, and is smaking elsewhere now. The square remains a reminder of discrimination in a public place. The hind of descrimination practised by organisers from the vanity of their employment, their position, in the belief that they can mobilise a  self-righteous majority to further their own career. People who take no risks, but love to organise others to fit their idea of perfection. The power of position.

        The Station cafe, all the regulars seem tired, older. Sumner worn. World cup. Private troubles. Early to work and late to bed leaves you standing with a sore head. Anastasia sane and strict.

The girl with the handbag shows suffering in her face

        The crops outside the window of the DIX- Express strain towards to Julys fruition and harvest, there is a foreboding of a day of great heat.

        Homburg, Freisivy.

        Neufwhrn, Petersham.

        yanking. 

No, Moosburg, Freising, Pulling, Nefahrn, Dietersheim

Ga Ching

cat mourning,no familiar

Familiar Zelda is gone.
Died after suffering.
died in sons arms.
young lad cried.

Wife cried.

Cat died.
Son got a nine volt battery, some wires.
Defilibration?
No success.
Vet charged for establishing Zelda's death.

Build a shrine.
Give her some cat food for the journey.
Typical human: No tin opener.


Germany did not beat Ghana in football.
Streets are quiet tonight.

Four in the morning,thinking of the events of the last day.
not happy.
Just a small animal.
Eighteen years part of the family.

Go back to bed.
It is too late for bed and too early to rise

last cat morning

silence in the home,
up at five, weekend.
feeling unwell,
down.
Cat very ill.
is she alive?
yes,
Concentrated catfood.
forcefeed.
Cat scratch and bite!
still alive.

No miracles.

sun shines bright.
Fat man walks down the street outside,
bag of breakfast rolls in his hand.
Cyclist speeding over the cobbles.

A lovely day

five forty eight

the drip and patter of rain from the open window, rustling in the hops.
cat attempts to climb into bed.
Still too sick, hanging there on its claws. without the strength even to dislodge them.
Carry her to kitchen.
Feed

Water and milk, only.
Such an ill cat.

Listen to the rain on the skylight.
soft patter. Fresh air.
Cool.

cold coffee at daybreak,
fluoxetin inexit unescapable.

depressing memories return.
look to the future,easier if the past's blackdog is not the watchdog.
Guarding its misery.
guard
gaudiamus

four forty eight

up at night
Zelda miserable.
Poor cat.
won't eat drinks water.

oh dear.
lies on the bed.

miserable.

holiday day today, religious.
One of the many here.
Cool morning again of another hot day.

the cat gets more water
drinks and drinks
and drinks and drinks
Fish like not catlike.

Wife up and feeds cat too

Cat eats hardly at all.

three forty eight

At three
cathowl. Short.
Catsick.
clean up
give water. Poor cat.
Cat struggles to bedroom door.
meeow.
Let the cat into the bedroom.
Climbs onto bed.
Stroke.

Up at six.
Computer does not work.
Too bad.
Coffee,
open the windows, let the air in.
Blog.

The cool morning of a clear warm day.

two forty eight

night ist disturbed by stray sounds of small boys on computers.
Mindcrafting in minecraft.
Cat silent, dopey.
First light alarm off.
sleep on.
tinni is noisy tussi today.

wash and go, get breakfast.
moaning and complaining woman in the bakery.
Unsophisticated cow.
Return, the day is hot and muggy, before eight, and before 'aten.


Mix the medicine for the cat.
smal pills big pills.

Cat thanks,
deep scratch

Wife up, day begins

one forty eight

early to bed and early to rise,
makes you healthy,
wealthy,
and wise.

That is a childs rhyme, comes to mind.
Not true, like many other things told to children.

cool morning,  hops growing .
No work week.
Find the cat in the attic.
Poor animal.
Carry her down.
Go to the vet today.
later.
Son rise.
straight to computer.
No No No NO

Have breakfast first!

Coffee made
Wife up,

Breakfast

quiet sunday

up ending night,

catanoise.

cat is feeling better now,

Veterinary antibiotics have put it in order

catatonics

quiet, make coffee, look at news.

Peter from the past sends some mail.

Son at friends place.

Silence,

Hot.

even at this hour.

The hops before the window,

all at different heights.

The plant nearest the window is the highest.

Variety: Taurus

The second last is the smallest.

Variety: Northern Brewer

Hops in a city yard.

They grow fast.

sixday forty seven = saturday

sleep
Zero consciousness
Awake
Conscious

Hop plant grown past the bedroom window
Head hums. Sun up: Sun bright: Son asleep.

Into one sittingroom.
Head brumm some.
mind one simmering,
No obvous reason, hot day cool yet.

New machine.
works.
Project for pictures possible.

New soles on old boots.

Wife awake.
son up.
day start.

Day 5 week 47

skylight grey now.
dimmer.
beeper off. Bells of Saint Martins, Saint Jodoks, and the Ursuline convent.
Get up to see to the cat.
silent black cat.
stroke the head.
silence. Moves and stretches.
Take the cat and bring it to the water bowl.
Drinks water.
Drinks cat milk.
returns to sofa.
The cat is unwell.
change the cat food.
cat eats a little.
delicate fussy.
not the usual gobble and slobber.
The towns noise outside picks up.
Slowly.
Will go for breakfast rolls.
After dressing.
cars on the cobbles.
cobble cars noisy, the rubber rumbling on the stones.
Man outside coughing.
early riser.
Bicycles pass.
Cyclist looks at watch whilst driving.
Three bells.
time elapses.

Day 4 week 47

the light and the air with that kind of early morning freshness threatening a hot day. The bells all ring outside, four times for the hour, one distant one five times for the time.
tinnitus and tummi ache, two disturbances at the borderline between day and night.
pet the poor sick cat, she is not eating,  just drinking some. Been in this state for days now.

Outside, the dustmen are collecting yellow bags, and the falcons are screaming. There are no pigeons to be heard yet.


A peaceful holiday day.
no one awake, except for wildo and the cat

Day 3 week 47

light, turn of clock.
Holiday today.
Turn on water.
Safety precaution last night, prevent flooding from new shower.
light bright
shortest day soon.
pat cat
cat unwell.
sitting, not eating,
drinking water.
yuckity.
turning of the clock did not work.
The alarm sounded anyhow..

Pigeons outside
make coffee
see martins church reflection in window.
clear but hazy sky

slowly relaxing from break in routine.

Day 2, week 47

light and heat from window.

Hops growing up the wire outside.

a foot a day everyday now.

no cat.

cold coffee

work free days.

No train no yorma

.

up late search for cat.

cat comes from the attic

after the search for its corpse

drinks water.

Eighteen years is very old

for a cat.

peaceful silence

son asleep.

deep.

bank holiday monday

the dutiful alarm has no intelligence and no concept. good thing, really. It could switch itself off when needed. No idea of bank holidays.
wakes cat. cat wakes wife. wife wakes me by dropping cat food tin.
It is hard to reverse engineer all that.
Watch the sky go deep blue and feel the temperature rise.
Take a shower.
The leaky shower
refreshed.
drink old coffee
old and cold.
The town outside
is silent and hot
Fire tag.
Sun will bake the streets today

Collect chairs bought on ebay!

pfingstSunday

Quiet brightness from a blue sky
sons alarm at sixforty five.
shut it up.
cant sleep.
son asleep in front of television at three.
What is he up to?
oh well.
No school today.
son asleep on couch.
sun pouring in through the window
barely conscious.
Son put out the breakfast things.
sweet.

Fly in room
Summer buzzing
Bluebottle

open window
Pigeons coo
Falcon sreaming from the church tower.

sabbath at the end of week forty six

Sabbathsilence

light nascent sun visible now from this place on the planet

up and look.

all asleep.

excepting the cat.

cat quiet, wants petting.

pat the pet on its poll.  Purr.

Shoulderache

headache.

Whitsun break.

day five week forty six morning notes

6 Jun 2074

the light from the window, slowly brightening does the job that the mechanical dock did all winter. The width of jure, the sixth of june. Shower, the cat crows loud. The cat is not keen on its food today.

leave the house, into a bright morning with deep blue skies. It is cool, but there is promise of increasing warmth during the run of the day.. The church of st. Martins

is already orange with the risen sun.

The rumble of a diesel landrover breaks the peace of the day, a city landrover, a frustrated driver. Last night he got a parking ticket, he found it this morning

One pigeon at the graveyard, and eighteen by the bus stop.

A police car passing scatters les grand souris de l'air en passant, but unlike pawns, They return. A single duck eats the crumbs by the river.

        The bus arrives, no good morning lady. The drivers ticket machine works today, money away.

The smoker in his square, the girl in the cafes has more customers than she can deal with.

She shouts for Anastasia, and in no time at all, these customers are served and happy.

        The butter and salt on the fresh pretzel are nice today, the last time for the next two weeks. With.

Whitsun blooming, there will be no school for the son, and a break from work for the father...

The breakfasters all leave for the train, it is on time. This daily exercise. will change its tune for two weeks, the daily routine of these rituals in their daisy constant uniform- allowing only the smallest and safest changes will give way to an unknown and unplanned sequence of events.

Foggy retrospective will not help, for the  picture of the past as distorted by memory's lens will be a poor guide to the future. Repeating mistakes will not improve matters, but forgetting them is a recipie for future disaster.

The train has left Marbury behind 'now and is speedirg through Langenbach and Hayling.

The whole carriage is filled with flickering yellow and green light from the sunlight on the trees and . fields.

AN rise for F reining, the town of the past turned to village of the future. 

day four week forty six morning notes

black when the eyes are closed,
grey when they are open.
time early, cat awake, wait.
five.

¡OFF!

No pen.-?
clothe in a drowsy state.

Leave house.
Brighter now.
At the church a solitary pigeon.
Picking dirt out of  the cobblestone's cracks.

bus stop
Gutenmogen.
Ducks and pigeons eating breadcrumbs at the river.
A lame duck hobbles over the road.
Bus drivers ticket machine is broken.
Drive for Free.

Curious dayglo redhead at yourmas.
Fast and friendly.
No Pen today.
Blog later from memory.

Train is full of young chinese people.
Loud.
One girl has an incredibly beautiful face.
She talks quietly, defined-ly.
Listens intently.
Intelligent eyes.

shown by movement and time.

A beautiful young woman.

Memory.

day three week forty six morning notes

4.5.2014

the crack between the upper lid and the lower lid widens to let the dawn into the torpid brain. This slightest of movements is registered by the cat. She is there, begging for breakfast and-gets her head scratched. A return to the rule of Hypnos, desirable, but a bad idea.

Short doze and dress in daze. Days like this are not for early risers, Bathroom, ng.

Into the kitchen, feed the cat.'

Down the stairs, out of house. Martins Kalauers opposite, pub run by torreta, an Italian cucinarist, a man of great slime and charm. Pass goldies giddie shop, and on to the graveyard. Twelve pigeons picking. Pigeons pairing, following each other, heads jerking back and forth, cooing.

Bus stop early, let bus four pass, and wait.

River grey, pigeons picking at the food left for them by a morning walker. Two in flight, one passes left and one irght. Wind of passing, fright. Flight rats

Good morningy is wearing shirt and black outfit today. The gloved bus driver takes his money, gives ticket. Fast driver..

Yormer's, bright, cheerful, Anastasia friendly and precise. No effusive remarks, careful and neat.Barstool in the way in the cafe, move it to one side. Taken by the black-haired beauty with her handbag, sits on it herself today. 'Her group is complete, but for the mosaic maker. She is back from a break, her hair is longer

The subtrack passageways left behind to board the train already waiting int the platform, doors agape, seats to be found. Beep of door closing mechanism and shake of train coupling. Both trains together are now ready for their daily run to Munich, from the capital of neither Bavaria to the capital of upper Bavaria, a journey of good seventy miles.

        With stops in Maesbury and Freising., matt towns with gone greatness.

        Every day.

        A humming regularity that absorbs the weight of time, running by as one of four dimensions. 

day two week forty six, morning notes

3.6.2014

Light from the window, grey and flat. Sound of the cat,

the clocks. 

Feed the cat, happy cat.

Bathroom, mirror. Last nights shower has left the hair standing, like a golliwog, or a Stuwelpeter.

Brush the hair and the teeth, keeping the respective tools separate.

The gato lout, insistent. More food.

Leave the house, leave the door open.

grey bin day today, the remainders of two weeks.

Crud.

at the bus stop the police speed past, many cars. good morning, the man with the crutches passes

on too. The bus driver wears gloves, this may save his hands from the dirt of the money,

The police are all at the casinos down the road. Maybe a break-in, who knows other than they?

There is no exsquary hairy smoker at the station, the door jams too.

No change for Anastasia today, it does not work every day..

a girl with violet stockings and a maroon scarf around her neck is just ahead. She is wearing the dark- rimmed glasses that they are all wearing these days. Stuck at the door, carrying her bags and her coffee,  the door is jammed, the coffee is to be preserved. Help, push the swing door to.

A really friendly smile.

The light from the run glows and is yellow..

The Moosbug chemicals factory glows yellow in the fog. 

day one week forty six, morning notes

2.6.2014

blue dim monochromatic light fills the subdivided square of the window, lighter by the minute. Zelda the cat comes along by the bedside, wanting attention. Head scratch, ears scratch. Four forty four in the morning. Day break soon. Feed the cat, switch off the clock and go to the bathroom.

Shower, shave.

White shirt today.

Many pigeons and men in orange suits in the town. Both are concerned about the rubbish from Sundays open day in the town centre. The ones with their beaks, the others with brushes.

No good morning lady at the stop. The smokerwomen steams past, white haired, white jacket. A man with crutches wishes good morning, waits for the bus

        'The bus, the unmentionable driver,: a forgotten short journey.

        Anastasia at Yovmas, the laughing Anastasia, the day is saved, the coffee is great. It is not always a matter of what is served, but who serves it. and how it is served.  It is a hard job feeding the dour and doleful faces at the cusp between the end of the night and the start of the day.

The train rushes westward, away from the rising sun. These that would have killed to be the first boarding, are recovering from their ardour in that half-filled train.

It will fill in Moostrwg, but there are seats for everybody. Moosburg comes moobwg goes

        Tickets are shown, and that's it, the ticket attendant with the plaited hair in a hurry.

For now, sin é. 

silent morning

light and air freshening the room after a disturbed night. cat aware, hungry. Bells outside, two.
Six thirty. Scratch the cats head, it likes that .
Purr.
Strange dreams of known people, dreams of strangers.
Bells outside seven times.
seven on the hour.
Cat loud.
Feed.
Bathroom.
Kitchen,
Coffee pot on the gas.
The streets are empty, morning bright and new.
The dovecalls, silence in the town otherwise.