very pleased, and that is pleasing

 Standing at the door, a young woman waves and approaches on a bicycle. She says hello and there is no recognition, just that silly feeling that she has been seen before. She gives a reminder, seeing the blank face. She had been in the same place some months ago watching a demonstration of  people pass, all beating drums and claiming wrongdoing from society and state. Remember that it had taken some effort to convince her then that a Nazi salute would be an inappropriate reaction to the demonstrators behaviour, even when meant derisively or ironically. In Germany such gestures are always taken seriously. Talk to her , observe that these Monday demonstrations seem to have died down and that this is good. Wish each other a happy new year. 

The postman arrives, he has one small package. It is the little booklet of photographs from that Christmas Day party.

Later, show the photographs at the gallery and at the Saturday meeting in the Café. The radio reporter who was the host of the party receives his copy.

He is very pleased, and that is pleasing.

Wish everybody a happy new Year

old fashioned way

 For the first time in many years a camera with no electronic circuitry, just a glass lens, a mechanical stop, a clockwork shutter and a focussing system using a mirror and a ground glass screen. When everything is set up right a latent picture forms on the suspension of chemicals in gelatine. Later on, the tiny alterations to these chemicals will cause an image to form made of silver crystals which will be all that remains after the remainders of the chemicals have been washed away.

No batteries, no circuitry, no binary logic is in place, just the strength of a latent image awaiting amplification in a chemical bath.

Take pictures of the church, the market stalls and the river. And then the twelve pictures are gone. There is no more film on this reel. Take the film to a pharmacy, they have a service that will develop the films, let us see if the results are any good. It will take at least a week. And then it will be clear whether this fifty-five year old camera works or not. It would be nice to save the costs of further repairs.

It is pleasant to take pictures in this old fashioned way again.

midnight plus one

 The cold has gone in a long sleep. a sleep that finished twelve hours ago at midday. Go for a short walk and a quick feed and a cup of coffee.

An old lady barely able to walk comes into the café.

Offer to get her the things she wants to buy so that she does not have to stand in the self service queue with her rolling stand.

Get her the  cup of coffee and ask her for the money.

she does not want to pay for it.

Too bad, wish her luck

it is midnight now

car clean

 It is strange to live in a town for ten years and still manage to lose your way. Not badly, but just taking wrong turns out of habit. The car is dirty, it should be washed. The mechanics had left a few marks, but nothing that would not wash away. Also, the trees that it had been parked under had deposited their leaves and detritus all over it.

The first thought is to take it to an automatic car wash at a filling station. Think about this on the way there, and then consider that the hand wash centre with the pressure hoses would be both more suitable, and cheaper as well.

At the big junction at the end of town take the road to Regensburg and  continue slowly up that way, passing the junctions one by one and then passing one too many.

Lost again, take the next big junction and go left, and then left again, returning almost to the middle of town.

Another right, and then another and then a left and the self service car wash is right there . Park the car in a free bay and go to the change machine for change and tokens called Jetons. Following the instructions on the machinery spray down the car, then brush it and then use the pressure hose to remove the grubby dirt of the last months. Use the supplied brush to dislodge a few marks, and then finish the spraying. There is some kind of hot wax on offer, but - no idea.

The car is cleaner now, and return it to the parking places opposite to the police.

This is the first time for this particular self service with a car. The last time it had been a rented trailer.

Cars are a lot of work, and cost a great deal of time.

him having gone his own way.

 In the morning there is clear sight that the day is going nowhere. Stroke the cat and she rolls over onto her back. Pat her on the stomach, the immediate reaction is her attempt to eviscerate the hand on her tummy. Cats are like that, it is probably some inbuilt reflex over which they have no control.

Resolve that something must be done, something, anything constructive or even not. But what?

Sort the clothing make the bed, take down the used crockery to the dishwasher. Put on the coat and make sure that there is a cloth bag in the camera bag. A cloth bag for the shopping. Go out to the car which was left parked in the general parking spots before the Christmas and settle into it. Pleasantly enough, the engine starts smoothly, the whole machine runs well. The recent journey to Cologne and back did the car good, so it would seem. All the repairs seem well run in, even if that is a ridiculous statement.

Do the shopping, buy bread and eggs, salt and vinegar. Allow a cheap bar of chocolate and two tins of joghurt, not forgetting a package of pre-sliced cheese. Also, the various materials needed for the dishwasher, the water softening salt and the detergent. Take all that to the bakery, and sit down to have a cup of coffee and a sandwich.

This is luxury.

The coffee and the sandwich is the luxury, not the shopping.

Take it all home, the wife is up, and is happily sulking in the sitting room, a silent criticism of her husband for him having gone his own way.

slippery day

 This day slipped by.

There were the notes written for yesterday, this morning.

Then the work done on the pictures taken at the party

And the day is gone 

Left the house in the evening, the pub is badly crowded, the people seem to have gone thirsty over Christmas. Take one drink there and go for a walk, notic that most of the other places are closed. Take the circuit around the town, and visit the pizza place for a plate of spaghetti and oil and garlic. It is delicious, it really burns in the mouth. This place is slowly doing better, spend some time chatting with the owner.

And then return to the crowded pub for another glass of beer.

And then go home, and prepare for bed.

A slippery day has slipped its slimy way.

today

for Christmas Day, from the day after

 slow starting day with that which has become the usual strart in the morning. From the bed there was the sound of the thermostat in the electric heater clicking to try to maintain the temperature of fourteen degrees celsius in the bedroom.

The cat in the kitchen complain, cat levity for human slowness, then rubbing the bag against the legs of the man making breakfast, she fighting for attention and trying to convince that huge member of her family of her imminent starvation. Are pets aware that human beings are actually a different species?

The day accelerates wildly as the son gets ready to travel across Munich to visit his grandparents and to join his mother who is already there.

After he has gone on his way leave the house.

There is a Christmas dinner and a party at well known radio reporters residence. No time was mentioned, so assumed that two o'clock would be right.

It was not, it was too early for the host was standing around in his underwear cooking the geese in a tiny oven. Help him preparing his things, sweep up the kitchen, hold the pan as the birds are being turned. Arrange the knives and forks about the plates. The other guests start to arrive just as the host is drying his hair after showering, still in his underpants and singlet. Those arriving are good friends of his and they laugh at his attire, they send him off to get dressed.

It is a fine party, and by the time it was over it was midnight.

So this daily account is late

Maybe not too late for all of you

happy christmas

christmas eve

 It is the twenty fourth of December, and the only other beings encountered at this time are the cat and the neighbour. The cat al purring and head rubbing wanting food and then wanting nothing and the neighbour in his pale blue dressing gown out on the balcony smoking his first cigarette. The neighbour, realising that he had been seen, stubbed out his cigarette and retired.

And having enjoyed breakfast between these two events, settle down to see what the rest of Christmas eve will bring.

Two men have spent the night in a van parked in the street outside the window. They are both stiffly walking around their vehicle, and are trying to stop some machine making a regular beeping noise. It is all mysterious but uninteresting.

Thoughts of death and bereavement will not go away after the events of the previous days, and the awareness that the self will come to an end sticks in the mind too.

same as ever

 In Landshut, in the morning, make the breakfast, all is normal and sane. 

Unpack the two bags from the short journey to  Cologne, sort the clothes into clean dirty and unknown, pack the few clean things away and place the remainder in the plastic bin for the wash. 

Make a telephone call to the officials in the traffic control office of the town. As an exceptional dispensation it is possible to collect a parking pass for the coming year before they close completely for Christmas. The office is already unofficially closed. They are all celebrating Christmas.

Bring the fresh green ticket to the car, and then return home and start to sort the papers. Pay the dentists bill.

Then go down to the son with the bag that the brother had given him for Christmas. The son is involved with his machines, his computers, and can barely be drawn. But then he walks through his crowded room and collects the small paper bag with the message from his uncle.

A short walk through town and a visit to a café.

Ok.

The woman is unfriendly, she is new here. The coffee is the same as ever.

Ludwig, on the 23 December for the 22 of December

 The night was so bad, a blocked nose stopped the peace of sleep, the brother had to leave the room to avoid the choking noises and the heavy breathing.

In the morning much of the nasal trouble has gone.

Coffee and chat with the brother in the morning  was a fine thing. 

And a walk through the Ludwig museum in Cologne to admire the enormously beautiful collection of art from the last centuries. It is a beautiful collection in a fantastic building, the building in itself  a work of  art.

A further fruitless search for shoes in the lively crowds of late christmas shoppers around the vast body and towers of Cologne cathedral. The cathedral for once surrounded only by a minimal showing of scaffolding.

In the late afternoon drive out of Colognee, drive home, drive well into the night,

There is so much speeding traffic, driving unsteadily, speeding and then slowing, that it is hard to find peace in the work of steering the car during this journey.

patriarch, written for December 21 on December 23

 The journey was long and tiring, expensive coffee on a the motorway up repairing the ageing brain for  the remainder of the journey. The motorway stop was just like a reminder of the seventies with various meaty dishes in a display awaiting their final blast in the microwave oven before their being served. Arrival in Cologne and a mishap in a parking garage involving another car and a damage to the other's immaculate paintwork. By the time the police had finished with the case, the first part of the funeral in the church was nearly over. It was still possible to sign the condolence book and to hear the final hymn in the grand old church. Hug many of the closer relatives of the deceased from the standpoint of only being a nephew in the face of all this first order prominence, a family from the upper crust of the city. Here are all the older ladies and gents, all known from the sandpit. And the younger woman who was the uncle's friend and accompanied him intimately for the last ten years of his life.

Return to the car and take the short drive to the cemetery, pausing on the way to buy new shoes for the brother, to replace the dark shoes too small for him. But the shop that was found only stocked small sizes, so there was no success here.

The evening party was an event of some beauty, with all the now aged relatives witnessing the departure of the patriarch.

funeral journey

 The head is stuffed with a cold, there is no wish to get up. So return to the warm covers and sleep until it is past eight in the morning. Then downstairs to make the standard breakfast, enough to carry on for the day. The coffee is delicious, despite the cold. Upstairs again, there is a temptation to return to the sheets, but that will not do. 

But then lie down for another two hours anyway, then the cold is better.

The tailor from Kurdistan in the shopping centre has made the trousers smaller, now they seem to fit. Wander around the shops and buy tissues in a drug store. Later on take a walk to another shop and buy a loaf of bread and some toothpicks. Buy an umbrella too, it will rain tomorrow in Cologne. The cold returns again go back to the little upstairs room in the big house and lie down on the bed, cover up and sleep for a few hours.

All of this is not good, for tomorrow is the day of the uncles funeral, the one in Cologne. He died on the eighth of December, and he will be buried tomorrow. The son will not come to the funeral, that is sad. But then, he had never met the uncle.

And now he never will.

But never mind the cold, a few snivels at the funeral will probably be  in order. The journey to Cologne will start in a few hours, at four in the morning.

It is near midnight now, and it is time to get more rest.

seven Euro return

 There is a telepone call at half past seven in the morning. Go into the freezing room where the telephone is kept and pick up the ringing apparatus It is the management of the plumbers firm, she says that the plumbers will be at the house this morning to finish off repairing the heating unit for the house.  It is so cold in the room that the teeth begin to chatter and the feet are sore by the time the telephone call is finished. Return to the other room , the small heated one, and get dressed in day clothes, put on a fresh shirt.

Today is the day of the dentist's appointment. Downstairs, tell the wife that the plumbers are to be expected, and leave the building. It is a short walk to the dentist's practice and on the way meet the accountants assistant walking fast in the opposite direction. She passes so quickly that the sound of the "good morning" almost lowers due to the Doppler effect. On cold mornings people are in a hurry.

The young dentist is nervous, she is diminutive and dark haired. She is very earnest in her work, but due to the nervousness she drops an item into the patient's throat. Feel how she and her assistant retrieve the item with a tweezers. Luckily, it does not go down far enough to activate the swallowing reflex. Later on during the root canal job the suction pipe is dropped on the floor, the assistant picks it up, hear the sound of the tube being wiped clean again.

She is happy to be finished with the work and it all went with neither pain nor problems.

Upon reaching the street, realise that there is still an absorbent pad behind the lips and in front of the teeth. This is funny, it has never happened before. Remove the cylindrical pad and drop it into a drain.

Then it is time to attend to the car battery.

The mechanic spends half an hour removing the screw that has become stuck in the plastic.

His boss charges thirty five Euros for the service.

Return the old battery to the place it was bought in and receive seven Euros deposit. At least that visit was worthwhile.

A Sunday of nothingness

Cold today, cold and a general unwell feeling as if nothing is worthwhile at all. Leave the house for a walk through the town, but there is nothing happening. People are wandering around, everything looks cold and chilly. The regular cafe is closed, go to the bakery that is open and have a cup of coffee and a roll with a sliced hard boiled egg.

That was five Euros, and it was lucky that there was a seat at a small table free.

Go to the car to see if it is standing up to the colder weather. The battery has lost almost all of it's power, the machine can barely start. But it does, and let it run for a while. Examine the small holder for the mobile 'phone, and try to stick it  to the dashboard.

Spend the rest of the day at home, reading a novel.

A Sunday of nothingness

waste of time repairing the car

 Stop in front of the dead car, the car with the dead battery, then open the passenger door and pull the lever to raise the hood. Take a picture of the battery, just as a reference for the parts shop. Then close the car again and start walking. There are few people on the streets yet, the Christmas shopping has not started yet. It is freezing, at least minus four degrees centigrade. Continue walking down the market street and cross the river. The snow is mushy because of all the salt on it, but it still manages to be slippery in places.

Cross the overflow river and then walk through some dreary suburbs, houses packed close upon each other, all the different styles that the owners had imagined side by sided. Walk along the main road, the traffic is picking up. Germans are all going Christmas shopping.

The car shop has batteries and ice scrapers, but no jumper leads.

Take a furthere walk to a discount store that sells everything from canned fish to garden excavators and any amount of useless home electrical gadgets. And, of course, Christmas trees. Find the aisle devoted to car and bicycle products, and pick up a set of jumper leads in a handsome plastic case. Search for ice scrapers, but there are none to be found. They are sold out.

Return to the first place and buy a battery and an ice scraper. Take a bus back to the centre of town, the car battery is very heavy. It is worthwhile waiting fifteen minutes for the bus. Prepare the coins necessary to pay for the journey, two Euros and twenty cents.

The bus arrives, and the bus driver turns down the offer of payment. He says that all transport is free today.

Later, with the help of the new battery and the jump leads, start the car. Let the engine run and remove the ice from the windows. Allow the car to warm up sufficiently for all the doors to thaw. Repack the cables in their handsome carrier bag, and put the new battery into the passenger compartment of the car. It will be necessary to find a place to install it on Monday.

On Monday, after the dentist has done her work.

parkinson and car rust.

At midday in the butcher's shop, there is a an old lady at the counter in the queue, one ahead. She is shaking so badly, that can only be Parkinson's disease, her motor actions are all shot to hell. She drops her purse pick it up and return it to here, she has difficulties counting change. But in the end it works out, and she has counted exactly. She is bent and shaking, and the whole line of people wait silently and patiently for her to finish counting her money and packing her things. Such disease must be terrible for those in its grip, a grip that will never relent for them. The shop assistant says that everything is fine, Rome was not built in a day.

The battery on the car is flat, there is no power at all.

Resolve to remove the battery and take it to the repair shop, buy a new one and install it.

This does not work because although the two screws for the battery contacts work fine and can be removed easily, the screw holding in the battery itself has corroded solid and cannot be loosened hoat all. 

And trying everything just wastes time, the necessary tools are not available, the temperatures are cold and there is an icy wind with falling snow.

So give up, after listening to the smart phone repeat a melody and repeat a notification that the automobile club will reply as soon as possible. The automobile club is overloaded because of the cold and icy weather.

Return the tools back home, and go to the shops.

Nothing has changed here in the last two weeks, and shop for the things for tomorrow's breakfast.

All is sad and hopeless this Christmas.

There are so many errands to be arranged.

And the funeral of the dear uncle is on Wednesday next in Cologne..

entitled

 A pleasant chat to the brother and a short trip to Dublin Airport, despite the traffic, it was short. The flight leaves from Terminal two not Terminal one, but never mind, it is no insurmountable distance. The machines in Terminal one will not accept Lnufthansa luggage. 

Lufthansa do their luggage manually in Terminal tow.

Just across the road.

An endless queue in Front of the Lufthansa counter, long and heavily loaded. There are people flying to Africa with eight bags in their luggage.

The woman is grateful for the one bag only, all the necessary documents available and the suitable mutual language skills. Pass all the security checks, nobody wants to look at the sealed cameras unlike the German checks two weeks ago. Well, so be it.

Pass the shops, and find the gate.

The aircraft is late.

Wait, listen to Verdi's Requiem on the 'phone, look at all the people standing impatiently in front of the notice warning that the aircraft will be in at eleven at the earliest. Enjoy the music, enjoy observing the other people. Finally, they start calling up the passengers at a quarter past eleven. 

Touchdown in Munich late, and everyone jumps out of their seat and starts manhandling their baggage from the overhead bins into the overcrowded narrow aisle between the seats.

A man darts out from his seat and forces himself in front of this passenger, claiming entitlement. He tells others to mind their manners

There is no asshole greater than an Irishman who feels entitled.

the statue

 The museum is beautiful and quiet, walk through the halls, and be greeted by the women at the desk. The small piece is carefully contained in a carton specially made for it. The women would like to see it, just out of curiosity's sake. The one has a scissors, carefully open the tapes holding it shut.

The women are delighted, the small statue is an absolute beauty in their eyes, so small and thin and delicate.

It is a delight when even those at the door have a joy in the content of the museum

bus and train

 Train and bus, train into Dublin from Bray, there are more stations on the route than one would have imagined, all the nicer seaside places of Dublin and then into Pearse street station. Leave the train, take the tunnel under the rails to go to the lavatory, and then out onto the old street.

Walking past Trinity college think of all the times spent there, the early twenties and the lat teens. Walk past the end of Grafton street with its amplified buskers playing their songs for the tourists. It is chilly, the temperature is around zero degrees.

A bus driver explains that the bus will be at the castle, but it is not. The stop is at Westmoreland street. 

Wait for the bus, and then there is the long journey through the streets of  the city, rushing past the hundreds of shops and pubs and massage parlours and nail studios. The bus goes over the Portobello bridge and then the residential areas of Rathmines. At the traffic lights in Rathmines village wait, and then off through all the residences to the traffic lights in Rathgar, turn left there and then on to Bushy park road, head for Rathfarnham  and then tiredness sets in.

And the bus goes all over the place, after Ballyboden it follows it's route to Knocklyon and then down the road of the same name to finally make tracks up towards Woodtown, turning off Stocking Lane at Stocking Avenue.

Get off the bus and walk on up to Woodtown Park.

And then the journey is done.

lens cap

 Ask the young woman serving at Costas Coffee shop in the Vevay road whether a lens cap was handed in last night. There was not they were terribly sorry. The lens cap has been missing, this caused distress. It is not to be found in the bag, It is not in the pockets of the jacket, neither in the trouser pockets. Also it did not fall out into the car seat as a short inspection showed.

Spend the rest of the early afternoon walking up and down the seafront, take pictures of signposts and seagulls, talk to the friend, the man who used to be teacher of photography, an artist.

In the evening take a coffe in the Mermaid Bar in Bray. 

There is a pen in the camera bag, reach in to take it out. The hand comes out with a lens cap. This is the missing one.

The day is saved.

stirred not shaken

 The host in Enniskerry has gone to the shops to get eggs, insisting on walking through the snow despite his fear of the slippery ice. Inside, at the table, try to write this blog. There are sudden bird noises from the telephone left on the kitchen table. birdsong that does not stop.

Remembering the actions  of a young woman from Ghana some years back go over to the 'phone and shake the shiny little machine. Nothing happens. Remembering the girl again, make an irritated face and shake the 'phone again, harder this time.  The bird song ceases, and winter is back.

Decide that this may have been as a reminder to operate the french press on the coffee maker. Take the silver coffee maker and place it in the stainless steel sink and press carefully. This was not careful enough, and some of the coffee squirts up under the lid to flow down the sink's plughole. Then slowly, with less than the weight of the hand, let the plunger sink until it will sink no more. Place the coffee maker on the counter to wait for the return of the host and his wife.

The host returns, he is now coughing loudly and seems unwell. The party last night is blamed, and the gin and tonic so happily drunk then is at fault too.  He says that all is in order and starts to make breakfast for his son, his guest and himself. These are the original poached eggs on toast with a slice of bacon.

Then the bird song starts again, twittering and squawking and is then competently and proficiently silenced. 

Stirred, not shaken

 

Left hand drivers

The left and the right side and crossing the road here in this country of left hand side of the road driving vehicles is dangerous for those meanwhile accustomed to drivers using the right hand side of the road. Looking in the wrong direction and stepping into the path of an oncoming vehicle could easily be fatal. 

The busdriver gives an old fashioned look at the unsteady old pedestrian.

The yellow ochre double decker piece of public transport stops, board, sit. A few stops on the bus stops, open the doors and get out. Look right and step into the road, nearly dead again.

Good morning Enniskerry

 There is a clicking noise, a strange rhthym, then a steady thumping noise, not in time with the clicking. It is not music.

Then one of the dogs barks, it is the one wagging its tail while on the sofa, thumping said appendage against a leather covered cushion. The clicking noise increases in frequency as the other dog changes direction and speed,

It is early morning in a friends house in Enniskerry, and one of the dogs jumps up on to the sofa now serving as a bed and commences to lick the barely woken face. Hide under the bedclothes, this is a fast escape. Then the rubbery nose finds an opening.

Sit up.

Then there is the clicking sound of the dog nails on the floorboards as the other dog approaches.

Good morning Enniskerry

now he has gone too.

 clean up the house wash the dishes, put the bed into the plastic bag. Clean up the cottage in Galway, use that modern Dyson vacuum cleaner, it nearly sucks up the floor along with the dust. The last day in Galway. stand at the gate and wait.

Wait for the black car to pass with the brother and his wife, then close the gate, lifting it a bit so that the bolt will fit into the hole in the pose. Take the bit of blue rope and make a neat bow to tie the gate up, it is unclear as to why thete is a latch and a rope, never mind.

Get into the back of the car, the dog is not pleased, it would like the whole seat. But that is the way of things, the  dog is adjusted after a while and not discontent.

It is a one and a half hour journey to Galway town, the traffic is heavy, and a two hour journey down the motorway to Dublin.

In Dublin, the bad news, this being that the uncle has died. He was the favourite and the only real uncle.

And now he has gone too.

the bay be blue

 A clear day and a beautiful view out over the bay, the water is dead still and smooth like a mirror. The distant mountains reflect brown and the sky's blue colours the remainder of the surface. It is mercurial in two ways, for a short while later there is a regular stippling of wavelets over the surface. Now the water is all blue and grey. There are reefs of dark green seaweed showing up everywhere because of the low tide.

That is the view this morning.

There is to be a walk now.

Maybe more later, but probably and more likely tomorrow.

lobster and crab

 Say good morning to the brother, he is collating all the gear that he needs for fishing. He goes fishing with a professional fisherman who works an area of Clew bay, collecting shrimp and scampi and shellfish. He has a yellow oilskin and boots and a bright red lifejacket.

Coffee and porridge are good for the morning, and they will last all day.

Later, the brother is processing the catch, and there is a tiny lobster and  minute crab in a glass that he brings over to the table. They are too small to be worthwhile for human consumption. They are both alive. 

Take a short walk along an old road down to a tiny disused harbour, for there is no need for them to die. At the edge of the clear water tip them both into the sea, watch the little crab float to the bottom slowly and the young lobster moves off quickly to hide in a nearby clump of seaweed.

Walk back up to the house with the empty glass.

This was the good deed for the day, the lobster and the crab will never understand it

Delicious with coffee and cream.

 Watch the brother making Apfelstrudel, a speciality of his. Peel the apples and slice them into thin slices, he makes the dough. When the dough is done and the breadcrumbs are roasted the dough has stayed long enough in its oily bath to be thin and flexible.

He pulls the doug out over a cloth, it is like rubber or like gum. After all the careful stretching over the cloth it is thin and translucen, showing every ridge and bump in the cloth. The cut apples are spread out upon the thin stretched dough, and then another layer of breadcrumbs,

Then the delicate skin of pastry is wrapped around the mass of apples and crumbs by raising  the cloth and rolling the whole thing into an intestine-like sausage, 

With the greatest of care the whole ensemble is sealed with melted butter and placed onto the metal baking tray.

And then it is placed into the oven.

Apfeslstrudel.

Delicious with coffee and cream.

accident

 Porridge with joghurt laced with maple syrup. A strange mixture which tastes very good, accompanied by a cup of black coffee makes up todays breakfast. Today is the day planned for Lettermore, a half a days journey to the other side of the island of Ireland

After helping to collect all the supplies to stock the cottage with firewood, sit in the back of the car with the dog on the slow cruise through the rainy countryside. The old dog places its head on the warm human thigh and falls asleep.The journey is slow through heavy sunday traffic, there has been an accident on the road, and it takes quite a long time to clear it.

holiday.

 It seems unfair that despite the room the view and the comfortable bed that the night is sleepless and uncomfortable. There is the sound of the dog wandering about the flat at night. She is a quiet, lovable old lurcher, a long grey hound with shaggy hair. Disturb her on a nightly visit to the bathroom.

In the light of the morning hear the brother wandering around the flat making breakfast. Get up. and wait in front of the bathroom for him to come out wish him good morning. He is going to go shopping for groceries with his wife. They are going to leave the dog at home today, the dog is getting old and cannot cope with the excitement any more.

It is calm and restful here,

And apart from the noise of the defective computer fan in the corner of the room. there is no sound

The brother wants to go paragliding this afternoon.

And tomorrow there will be a journey to the west of the island.

old and shoddy

 Porridge with maple syrup, this is not the way the Scots enjoy theirs, but it tastes good anyway. The brother was up early today, and he left some porridge to be reheated. Porridge with yoghurt and maple syrup, a filling breakfast, accompanied by a cup of coffee.And then proceed to the plant nursery, and help out wheeling potted trees from Holland around the garden from the point where they had been unloaded from the trailer  to their place of storage in the securely walled garden.

A man visits the garden centre, and introduces and commences to talk. Nobody really wants to know what he is saying, but he tells it all to everybody anyway. He goes on and on,  nothing constructive, just anecdotes and his history and a general waste of time. He is friendly enough so that nobody takes a gag to silence him with. 

It is very trying indeed.

Later, visit one of the places in Dublin that are well known from childhood. It has changed, the things that have survived and were old then are still old and those buildings that were new then are old and shoddy now. There are schoolchildren everywhere from the nearby school, it is strange.

visitor from Germany

 A big room with a high cieling and a white bed. Look over the duvet at a large painting on the wall. It is nice here, in the brother's flat in Dublin. Go to the window and look out over the city and the bay, there is Poolbeg, there is Howth, and the end of the Liffey as it pours into Dublin bay.

A good view, one that few people who live in the city can enjoy.

The brother is up early, he has made his porridge and has taken his dog for a short walk. It is an old dog now, and has all the ailments of age. One of the eyes has a cataract. Still, it wags its tail in recognition of the visitor from Germany.

Flight

 There are people waiting at the bus stop in Landshut, the electronic noticeboard there says that the bus is due in three minutes. Settle down to wait, imagine that this was a bit of a lucky break. Then there are sounds of complaint from the others waiting, a mother starts to discuss walking to the next bus stop with her children. Look at the sign again, there are now two busses in front of the one that had been due next. There is a nearly palpable sensation of disapproval among those waiting at the stop. It is too late now to start walking, and also the bags are too heavy to even contemplate that. Bus No. 4 arrives, and lets out it's passengers. That bus is no good, the route that it takes will take a vicious circuit all around Landshut West before it gets to the railway station.

Wait for the next bus, a bus number two. And eventually, it does arrive. The driver is unpleasant, fidgety slow and stupid. It is not surprising that the bus was late. He drives badly, anybody with the misfortune to be standing is thrown all over the place. People try to be polite, but the man hits the brakes and heaves the bus around the corners like a kid in the fairground driving the bumper cars.

At the station, a bunch of children block the exit. Tell them to please step aside. They look, and stay were they are. Push them aside and get out. 

After all of that the train is five minutes late. It all fits together.

Leaving the train at Munich Airport, scratch the back of the hand upon a post. Go upstairs, and there is a Christmas market set up in the way, stalls of people selling wooden toys and sugary nonsense. Find a way through all of this and end up in a large hallway. Speed bag drop on the left for business class only bored looking information desk on the righ and ahead the security check in: But not for bags, go back and eventually find the check in for bags economy class. There is a man there first question is "how are you" answer is miserable, he looks down and there is trail of bloody spots on the ground showing the path. The spot on the back of the hand has started to bleed in a serious fashion. The man waves on quickly. The man at the counter nearly faints at the sight of all the blood, breathing fast he does the check in routine and then he leads his customer to the first aid section.

A woman attaches a plaster and then another plaster.

The bleeding stops.

Later on, an endless search for the departure area after a search of the bags by an efficient young woman looking for explosives search the place for the departure gate.

The gate is to be found under H, and further information is not available. There are over forty gates spread out on an endless corridor and no information board saying which one is for flight 2518 to Dublin.

In the end, a woman at an information desk has the information, which she shares in a broken and impatient German.

How can people be so stupid and get lost in airports. It is too bad really. These thoughts are almost visible in her demeanour.

Beaten

 Staring at people's inability to use the mail services, the idiots will suggest driving over one hundred kilometres in an evening to collect a data stick that could simply be popped into an envelope and sent overhonight. It is silly.

There are now three hundred pictures of the old mans dreams, and there is no concept as to what is to be done with it all. They have inherited it all, it is now up to them. It was an interesting days work and an acceptable schnitzel in a nice place as a reward afterwards. Let us hope it is all over now, do not look for further involvement.

A quick drive to a village near Landshut, and the whole thing placed into a letterbox. 

Delivered.

Today is the last day in Landshut for the next two weeks, and that is a good thing.

In the back of the bakery there was a man who used to work in a slaughterhouse. He is an old man, over seventy, maybe even more than eighty. He has a black eye and a mark on his forehead. He has been beaten. His account was that he left a pub late at night and woke up in the gutter, it was entirely unclear as to what happened. The surroundings of his right eye are blackened. Talk to him for a while, his name is Walter. He still cannot understand how that all happened.

That night he had to be accompanied home.

And today at midday he is drinking coffee in a bakery shop.

He looks as if he has been beaten.

goodnight good morning

it too late now to even pretent that this is monday night,  why !  it is tuesday now and time has elapsed sitting in the pub and watching the people, the groups that meet and discuss the world's fe uture.

It is the evening of the day and it is the night after the day, the time has fled, just run away.

There were three hundred pictures the day before yesterday all cleaned up yesterday and there was no time to write about today that day. Sorry for the incoherence, it is your job to read continuity into this writing, a writhing between the different realities cultivated by different people. There is a definite influence of alcohol here.

four beer

forbear

This post is past midnight and is for yesterday.

And if you are dissapointed, say so

if you are not, say so also,

good night

Wouldn't one?

 Waiting to be collected now that all the morning things have been done. Today a man wants pictures of a ruinous house that he has inherited, the job should be curious anyway, even if it is not worthwhile financially.

The head is buzzing and there was no need to shave. Heavy working boots and the old working jacket, this will not be a clean environment.

The pills are remembered, and taken and good morning was wished to the son who was up already. All these small things that are important in their way. It is cold in the flat, according to the thermometer it is only five degrees above freezing. Perhaps it will be below freezing as the winter progresses.

There is no news today, it is Sunday, and nothing happens on a Sunday one would think.

Wouldn't one?

unexpected

 Up early, about early and then nowt nothing nichts nada as the people say. The enterprise to start the day with faded into nothing and dissolved.

Breakfast was in order, that strange hurried meal that is the base for the rest of the day. The pills were forgotten, just the package made up containing the old heater and leave the house with barely a shower.

The package turned in and the receipt made up and that all went quickly enough, the friendly man in the packet shop a sparkling example of efficiency.

And then off to the small bakery with the café where they leave you alone after you have ordered and it is possible to enjoy the cup of coffee in peace..

And walk back home through the rain, and up to the rooms and start to sort the old pictures, a job that will take years.

A man rings up and says his father has died. Offer condolences, as is done in such cases. The reply is a comment that the father had not been a nice man. Unclarity as to what the one has to do with the other. Anyway, he left a chaotic estate, and the man wants pictures of this chaos.

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow is Sunday, and this sudden unexpected influx of work comes unexpected.

great

 Yesterday's tomorrow is now, and it is not better yet. A long sleep has sent the headaches away, that is a good thing. The son is awake early this morning, there is hot coffee in the pot. Knock on his door and ask whether or not it can be taken. He says  "ok".  This is one early half cup of coffee, this goes down well.

Breakfast in the bedroom, the only room heatable in the top flat. Things are still not better in Ukraine, there are so many dead now because of the dispute, both soldiers and civilians. 

Things are strange in the United States with all their "traditional values" being turned into law. What civilised country allows its citizens to possess and carry weapons designed for mass murder without let or hindrance? The search is not easy.

The news, as always, is not satisfactory.

The eggs on toast are.

Next week there will be a flight to Dublin, an opportunity to enjoy the warm Irish winter.

Great.

tomorrow will be better

 Such a slack day, like yesterday, just worse. The top central tooth has been repaired and probably needs a root canal job done. But that was yesterday, the serious work on the tooth is in the future- Today, just a slack day, and a lazy one too.

There we are, it was nothing much more today than wandering about town, and not feeling well, and thy have started their Christmas celebrations with stupid amplified sentimental music and people getting drunk on cheap wine spiced sugared and heated. Too much ot that and you will be sick and many are.

The day started watching a man stagger up the street with his mouth wide open stariing straight ahead. He would have been worth a photo, but he would have sued had it been published.

The weeks of the exhibition have passed now, and all the strain is now gone, all the strain that was worht so little.

Perhaps tomorrow will be better.

open-mouthed and unspeaking

 The phone plays the seaside melody and simultaneously vibrates. Reach over through the cold air in the room and silence the machine. Then get up and go downstairs, go to the bathroom, shave and shower. Return, and cover up again for a few minutes. The feeling of chilliness will not go away, and it is actually rather cold in the room. Five degrees above freezing, thirteen degrees more would be comfortable. It is winter, and it will be colder before it gets warmer.

Get up a short while later, and brush the teeth with great care. There is a dentist's appointment later. Hear that the son is up and know that he will be off to work shortly. Leave the house and see him cycling towards the church, his long red hair spreading in the wind along with his moss green parka style jacket.

Walk past the church, and the accountants assistant says hello. She is on her way to work in the office, she is a cheerful middle-aged person all wrapped up in her winter clothing.

There is a new dentist in the practice, she seems young nervous and frighteningly efficient. She takes note of all the teeth and previous repairs to them and notes that there is a filling that needs to be replaced. An appointment at half past four is available. 

Then the other young woman proceeds to clean the teeth, descaling them. She explains that she is left handed, that the dentist's equipment is for right handed people.

Think about this, open-mouthed and unspeaking whilst she works

nuclear research?

 The car repair place rings up at nine, and explains that a bearing on the tensioner of a fan belt is broken. There not much to say about that, it will need to be fixed. The car will be ready this afternoon. The question is really whether or not it is a necessary luxury.

Which luxury is ever necessary?

Awake early, take a shower, make breakfast. The son comes out of his bedroom, he has a cold and a headache. Say that in that case he is going to have to telephone his place of work and tell them that he is sick. Finish up making the eggs on toast and the coffee and take the whole lot upstairs.

The news today is as bad as every day. The war in the Ukraine continues and there is a serious earthquake in Indonesia. An American shot five people to death in a bar. And a German car maker is afraid of losing his market in China.

At ten today it will be time to take down the exhibition and to take the prints home. They will reside in the bottom shelf of the storage box for ever probably. Who would want to see those pictures of people working  in an institute doing nuclear research?

Things can only get worse today.

To bed early and therefore awaken early: this worked this morning, up and breakfast was made before the time that the son was up and on his way to work. The son has taken to wearing dresses, this is most peculiar in the eyes of his old father, but the young man is of age and it is very much his decision. The dresses are quite pretty, but perhaps he should not wear them whilst he is repairing his scooter. There are more suitable clothes for oily dirty work in winter than summer dresses, like overalls and boiler suits.

It is quiet and utterly peaceful now, and there seems to be no tiredness to deal with now either. This is so pleasant. The kitchen was in a mess as usual, but there is nothing to be done about it, it is probably to late to teach anyone new tricks in this area.

This is the first day in a long time that it was possible to take breakfast fully dressed, there was even time to get the day clothes on, there was no rush. The bed is made properly too. Things can only get worse today.

dreams of the coming year

 Late luxurious lie in on a Sunday, think of Faith no More's rendering of easy and listen to the church bells. Today is a day to allow the body to catch up and the mind to wander.

The first person singular personal pronoun is avoided here ,it is all about one person any how and there is no need for him to boast. That is all. There are people who will use this short word of one letter many times in every sentence. These people are hard to deal with in normal conversation, all intercourse is strained. Not here!

The mind has focussed better now, it is time to take the pills and have another cup of coffee.

There are pictures of France on the old wooden desk. 

Maybe a journey there will be possible in the coming year.

the rest of the day

 The news is speculating that the USA is tiring of the gold leaf man's rants and has settled for things of more substance than a just that gilded surface. Is this sense or has the common man just realised that he is no richer? Awake early today, with dreams of a young woman and the whirr of the heater that was started automatically by its built-in thermostat. It will be necessary to save on heating because of the embargo on Russian oil and gas, that stuff of sweet addictions and power.

Breakfast, and all was well. The journey to the art suppliers yesterday was a success, and today is the day that the exhibition will come down. The cat is downstairs complaining of the lack of food. Feed the cat, she is the only one of the family up and about at this hour.

After dressing, go to the car. It still starts, perhaps the battery is not in such bad condition after all. It has held for one night now. Take the heavy catalogue from the boot of the car, this is the catalogue of the products of the art suppliers. It is thicker than those city telephone books ever were. 

The news is read, the first chores are done, and now it is time to get on with rest of the day.

listening damp

 Ine the distance the trees on the side of the Isar's valley's slope the trees are in Autumn colours and still today is Friday the 18th of November. Years ago there would have been snow about bare trees and not the steady fall of rain that is now being experienced. 

There is the whirr of a small electrical heater in the background, a small white device with a thermostat which makes a clicking noise to turn the device on and off. Now during the energy shortages of these times of war this may appear wasteful behaviour, but the alternative is simply to be unbearably cold. A room temperature of sixteen degrees on the celsius scale is bearable and comfortable.

There are things to be done today, consider these whilst sitting at the glazed verandah door looking out at the nearby roofs and the distant trees in the glistening damp of the continuous rain.

There is no knowing if any reverberations of this life's efforts are being heard.

off the main street.

Everything hurts today, and it is a day to rest alone. There is fog in front of the window and condensation on its inner panes. And it is good to just rest in the warm bed, all alone and perfectly happy.

Just ill this morning, and happy to stay in bed. The car needs collecting later, that is something to look forward too, that mechanic moaning about the lack of time and the extra fault that he has found, a defective pump for the coolant supply. That is his story on the telephone. it will be worse when he is face to face. He is a nice man, he does not realise that all he has to do is get organised and fix the cars he has to deal with.

And at midday, the exhaustion from Tuesdays walk appears to have let up again, the weather has brightened and it is not so cold

There is momentarily nothing of interest happening, there are no details to describe, but for the short sojourn in town with a cup of coffee and roll in the quiet bakery off the main street.

homeward

 Woke-

awaken early, it was just past six, the brother apologising for having made noise, but it was not that.

He asked how the sleep was, and said the breathing in the night was heavy. What does that mean? The sleep was fine.

There is the sound of children getting ready to go to school downstairs, start to pack up the things ready to go. Nothing is left, hopefully .

The journey is slow and in the weather is rainy, quite unlike yesterday which had not a cloud in the sky. The big car groans and heaves around the corners, it is a huge machine. 

And in three hours, home. There is no welcome there, but it is home. The wife is drinking her morning cup of coffee, the son has a cold, and the cat is happy to be petted.

Yesterdays exertions were more telling on the old body than had been imagined.

leaf blower

It is light and there is an Alpine vista outside, awaken in the Alps today. A place called Ramsau near Berchtesgaden, stuck on the side of a mountain. An invitation to join him by the brother, to go for a walk in the mountains.

Now that the walk is done it is evening and the mountains are invisible. The walk up the hill along the valley past Hintersee to the Austrian border and back took all day under a clear blue sky, there were  buildings at the top of the hill and the old border post with pictures of historic value.

Half way up the mountain a man with a motorised scythe was cutting away the growths at the edge of the path. Another man was using a blower to clear the leaves from the path. This is Germany.

no time right now

 Oh!!! it is half past seven, that is what the watch shows, it is light already. The last three hours sleep since the interruption at four in the morning have been both deep and sound. There is a short dazed period trying to couple the feelings and thoughts to the apparent reality, and then get up and go downstairs. The son is up already, using the dryer to dry his few clothes, they are almost worn out through all that washing and drying

Breakfast, make the usual, ignore the chaos in the kitchen, and feed the cat who is making a fuss and doing her best to communicate that she wants her food as soon as possible.

Upstairs, throw on the dressing gown and eat the breakfast, considering the things that should be done today. The car has to be brought to the repair shop, and then the train has to be taken to Berchtesgaden to meet the brother and to look at a mountain called Watzmann.

And there is no time to go on with this right now.....

early Sunday

 Up early and the brother in the next room is up early too, he was up earlier, he had to go to the loo. Silence the alarm and put on the clothes ready to go, the brother returns and hear him dressing in the next room also.

And there the two brothers wander through the foggy town to the car park where the younger brothers big car is parked. On the way there is a bakery, open on a Sunday. There is a baker working in a glass enclosure, actively making bread, which is sold at the counter. Get two cups of coffee and two croissants and it is now half past six this Sunday morning. Watch the baker work, steadily and unhurriedly making all the different types of bread by the tray-load, early for breakfast on a Sunday morning. He is an older man, and has a steady routine that could lead to a trance in the spectators.

But when the coffee is done the brother has to leave and drive to Salzburg. 

He has an appointment at half past nine.

Return home, return to the cold rooms in the corner of the house.

Itsy easy

 Going to bed early  and reading in bed yesterday evening paid off this morning with a happy early rising and no problems with a stomach pains and the like. These are all things to be considered when the age of the body is more than sixty seven years and most of life has been spent.
Not that this matters in any larger context, it just enhances the wishful thinking that there will be a second life for this awareness somewhere. And this is just wishful thinking. The machine says the time is now six fifty eight in the morning, the watch agrees. The feet are turning colder now, the temperature is only eight degrees beyond freezing at the window.

Get up and put on two pairs of socks. A simple solution, insulate the body's own heat.
That is the way to succeed.

A view in the mirror shows a week's stubble has formed, there was never any great growth there, but now this has crept up and spread itself all over the facial skin with the exception of the cheeks, the nose and the  forehead. Of course there is no hair on the lips. Imagine that! Hairy lips! Not nice at all!

The brother is due to arrive in Landshut today with his family. It will be good to see him and it will be necessary to prepare the mind for the unqualified comments of his wife, a keen amateur photographer herself. Yes, it is perfectly true that the trade practised for thirty years is just a matter of pushing a button and mucking about with a computer afterwards. Sure, all true.

Why disagree?

Itsy easy

The show will confirm her abilities and make her happy.

bone cold

 It is cold outside the bed, really uncomfortably cold. Maybe it is just a feeling, but there is no wish to leave this warm comfort. The lack of heating in the small flat is making itself felt now that winter is almost here. It will be really cold at the beginning of next year.

Get up, get dressed and do not bother with making breakfast.

Ring up the tax office  to ask what is to be done about the missing papers. A friendly official tells me what needs to be done, and as it is Friday she seems in a good humour. Take note of the procedure and then decide to search the other jackets and lo and behold there is the missing paper. That is a big relief and a small saving.

Take the papers out to the car and put them into the glove compartment. Because of all the repairs that are necessary this is turning into a most expensive car.. All cars are expensive, and at least this one does not look new and expensive. And that is good.

The cold is frightening now, it is working its way into the bones.

Post for the tenth, today!

 Today! eggs on toast  and bad humour because of yesterdays forgotten post.

Sorry for those who would have read it, there is a replacement there now. Too late, really quite a bit too late and this is the second time that this has happened in the last fortnight.

An egg fell this morning and smashed on the floor. Clean the slimy mass up, that is the waste of a breakfast egg. For something that cannot be crushed the surface breaks easily enough. There is the sound of the son's alarm in the background, he ignores it as is usual with his difficulties in the morning. Because of having awoken early a shower can be taken in the early morning, a warm shower which is a delight and a comfort after all the small mishaps of the past few days. It is just the joy of an early morning wash.

Now is the time to wait for the mechanic to finish, and then to collect the car in the hope that it will hold for some years and not cause too much trouble.

The people in the United States have apparently realised that they were being made fools of during the last few years, and are coming to more sensible decisions now.

post for the ninth

 The post for the ninth is missing because it did not get written, not with all the back and forth yesterday, the day that was the ninth,

The car repair specialist rang in the morning to say that he had repaired the car, price undisclosed. At this stage there is nothing to care about any more, it is just a matter of restricting the damage done by a wrong decision. 

When in doubt, do not sign contracts. That would have been a good rule to adhere to.

And in the evening and in the afternoon distribute the pictures selected during the afternoon. The people on the pictures seem happy enough, and that is good enough. But then, why should they not  be happy? The pictures are quite in order.

prepare

 in fifteen minutes there is to be a telephone interview with the lawyer, the morning is cold. 

Sunlight catches the smoke and vapour climbing into the atmosphere from the neighbours's chimneys, rising and then falling as the heat is taken from them.

The rooms are cold, but there is a strange luxury in being able to open the balcony doors and the windows and experience the relatively warmer air from outside. At least this air is not significantly colder. 

The clock is ticking, that blue-cased clock with its electrical winder. It just works and works and ticks and tocks.

Now with only eight minutes to go, prepare for that telephone call.

tomorrow

Today a running list of small mishaps, and it is getting colder, as the time of year leads a normal person to expect. The doctor was jovial and friendly and said that only deaf patients get a hearing aid paid for by the insurance companies, the rest do not, and come back in two years when you cannot hear yourself think anymore. But the young woman at the hearing aid place was pleasant, even though it is partly her job to be so.

Spend time sorting shirts, there are just too many of them. Emptying the wardrobe downstairs chased them all out of their corners where they had been hiding. There is going to be a shirt cull, there are so many more than necessary.

Make an appointment to have the car repaired, only to have this turned down by return of the mail, there is a detail that had been overlooked. Now it is just a matter of waiting for the lawyer to speak.

And that will be tomorrow.

Set the alarm for tomorrow 

set the alarm for tomorrow

 Long and lazy Sunday morning comes to an end, and little of any value has been done. But that is no problem, it was good to wake up so painlessly in the silence of the morning, and the ordering of the small things for the rest of the day was well worth while.

Used socks into the dirty washing, the sleeping clothes too.

Tomorrow is the doctors appointment to check up on the hearing, there will be no cure for the tinnitus, there never is or will be, no past present of future tense will describe the fear of eternal nuisance. There are many small things of importance to be done, and they are satisfying too.

The bells for midday have just rung, it would be a good day to set the alarm for tomorrow.

Egg yolk on buttered toast

 Egg yolk on buttered toast, let us just hope that this is not an unhealthy combination. And if it is, then this is too bad, the body has had worse things to deal with. The day starts late now, as every day does. This is both an advantage and a disadvantage of retirement, the morning atmosphere is missing from the rest of the day and everything seems to be running late.

But now that is tomorrows worry, there are things that have to be done today to try and keep the rest of the day flowing as wished. There is to be a visit to the supermarket, a visit to the café, and then the rest of the day. There is a dirty old vacuum cleaner to fix and a wall to scrape. There are so many things to do. And nothing gets done at all.

A picture was done yesterday, a wished for photo has been realised. It did not turn out as planned, but not so many things in life do.

lawyer

 sleep tight sleep well it is so bloody delicious to be able to turn off in the morning and rest in the warmth of the white bed

the telephone, it is the telephone and it is eight thirty in the morning 

let it go let it go.

Later pick up the thread in the email, it was the lawyer, most of the money is in and he has demanded the remainder - they need a bank account.

Telephone, an old cure for common problems, the woman on the line is pleasant and takes the details easily and calls them back flawlessly. Mention the problem with the used car, and there we are! the lawyer has an appointment Tuesday, that is fine and quite in order. The matter will be of little worth, so a telephone appointment will have do just fine.

Spend the whole day getting small things into order, and going to the gallery to see what is happening there. Not much is happening, and the matter will be over in ten days anyhow.

And in the evening

remember that for the second time in as many weeks this blog was nearly forgotten.

(pfad, fad)

 Late awakening today one day runs into the next day now and it is Thursday again. This breathless concatenation of days is leading to a the end of life as known and it is a solitary exercise. The son had left this morning before the rising of his father and long before the rising of the mother. The mess in the kitchen has been cleaned perfunctorily, but it is proof that there is an upper limit to acceptable sordid mess.

The eggs on toast are particularly good today, the small things count. There were three eggs today.

The cat is confused by the separation in the house, it is good that the house is big enough to allow such separation. There is no future visible now in living close, living alone seems the only way.

It is important to be open for change, but there is only one path (pfad, fad) in view

The second is only seen on the third

 November the second was a day with forgetfullness and a lack of time

November the third is today 

This is about yesterday

Written today

Cold and miserable yesterday, all day spent in the gallery watching nobody come in

That was yesterday

And the blog was forgotten then

only noticed today

It is sunny on this all hallows day.

 coughs and snivels, and remain in bed until ten, take a shower and get dressed. Staying in bed all day is boring, it is not a thing to do if you have any choice.

The choice is there, make breakfast and update the credit card details for Apple. They are complaining again that they cannot withdraw their monthly Euro.

Not so sorry for them, but fix the problem anyway. 

How are things to go on? Days are being spent without talking to people, yesterdays visit to the old Institutes showed what a pleasure it is to have people to talk to, even people that you do not particularly like.

The long journey home with the new car which is delivering its expected problems, there is a rumble from the wheel and in the morning the battery was flat. Disconnect the non standard anti pest device and turn off the interior light. Those two things were probably the cause of the problem. Hopefully their are fewer plastic biting martens in town than where the car was originally from. A check on the car will be due later on.

It is sunny on this all hallows day.

Peace and quiet

 it is hardly possible to awaken early after the biannual clock tampering, an hour to the fore and then an hour to the rear.

The sun shines earlier now, that is the light behind the fog.

The hissing in the head is still present, pwrhaps all is true and what the doctor said is right. It will never really go away. But the reality of the morning is the breakfast, that peaceful solitary meal at the beginning of the day, the coffee and the pills, exactly the same as every day. Have a shower today, the water is nice and warm. Perhaps the day will be a warm day as well.

The silence in the mornings is pleasant.

Peace and quiet.

pizza breakfast

 awake and there is a knock on the door and there is the son with a pizza. He has obtained an old electric kitchen stove, he spent yesterday cleaning it and today he tested it by heating up pizza, just to see if the device will get up to temperature.

The pizza is quite in order,  It is hot.

The son is pleased with himself, the stove is for an alternative group that he is part of.

Really, it was nice to have been awoken that way.

The cold and the hiss in the head has got worse, think about remaining in bed and just listening to radio all day. Perhaps it will just go away.

winter's misery

 The hiss in the ear or is it the head? Is the ear picking up things in the head or is the ear sending hissy signals? It is not to be said, but it would be nice if it would just go away.

Many things would be nice if they were to change.

The exhibition is running, and in just under three weeks it will be over.

In a month there will be a flight to Ireland.

And that is the way in which the time elapses, passes and goes away. The throat is sore and there is a cough, this is just the winter's misery.

when there are several people talking in the room.

 Awake, and as soon as it is nine try to make contact with the insurance company. It is a long wait hearing lousy music, five attempts, three times just cut off, it is a silly business.

Leave the house and go to the car to fetch some papers. Upon returning, try again, this time using the number from the internet. At the third attempt this works, and after a short chat with a woman who becomes increasingly friendly the deed is done. The car is insured now, all is finished. All done!

Spend the rest of the day walking around town, drink coffee in a bar, enjoy the sunny autumn weather. 

A waitress in a bar congratulates on the exhibition, says she loves the pictures. That is so nice, it really is.

And in the evening do a hearing test, the hearing test establishes that there is no discerning high notes any more. That system has gone. The tinnitus does not help. But the technician who checks the ears is a very charming young person, she really is good at her job.

And she is able to explain why there is no understanding when there are several people talking in the room.

test drive

Bed is fine and in the light of the morning the windows are all fogged up, it is all a matter of routine now, downstairs to the toilet, into the kitchen, cook breakfast. The son is at work in the sitting room, clearing things away. More power to him.

Upstairs again, go over the list of used cars. It seems that there is nothing left out. Finish breakfast, leave the house.

It is a lovely morning, with the light softened by fog and mist. The old town looks soft and picturesque, people hurrying to work everywhere. Cross the first river by the footbridge and then the second. After a while, there is the third bridge, and after walking some distance through the industrial quarter, there is the car salesman's place, go in and chat.

The chat is worth four hundred Euros, that is a worthwhile saving.

The car is in a store, go to look at it. It seems all right. It is just a matter of a test drive.

No guarantees for such a cheap car. It is old and has driven great distances. But nothing goes cheep cheep and it is not expensive.

So there, so bought.

vacuum cleaner

The son has left his alarm on and is continuing his beauty sleep. The alarm is a radio that is detuned, all that is to be heard is static and occasional voices. Open the door, wake him, and tell him to turn it off. He sleepily complies. Today there is a headache clustering over the left hand side of the head, occasional jolts of pressure and sharp pain. The eyesight is bad today as well. Finish making breakfast and bring it upstairs, and that is the highlight of the morning. Somebody is hammering something in the neighbourhood. It is an arhythmic sound, nails being driven into some construction. It is loud.

The attempt to start the dishwasher failed, on account of there not being enough salt in the container. The glass jar in which the salt is normally kept is empty, so that is that. Go out to the shops to buy a box of dishwasher salt and some carpet cleaner.

Spend half an hour trying to decide which of the various types on offer would serve the carpet at home.

Return home, put the salt into the dishwasher and spray the carpet with cleaner. Understand that the cleaner will take many hours to work, then to be removed complete with the dirt by the use of a  vacuum cleaner

worth the effort

Yesterdays pullover turned up again, it had just been lying on the washing machine, hiding in plain sight. Yesterday was a disaster, of sorts. A long train journey, the train twenty five minutes late. The change at Plattling was no problem, the green local trains were frequent. The change to the regional bus service was a disaster, the bus station had indecipherable plans. and the whole area was filled with destitute people , many of them smelling strongly of alchol, and none able to put a sentence together. The bus drivers could not give any information either, and back at the railway station a woman behind the counter there was only able to tell me when the bus would leave, not where.

And it rained heavily all the time, everything got soaked. The rain jacket from the non food part of the supermarket was leaky. It just poured down out of a low grey sky.

After half an hours search an italian bus driver gave the necessary information.

Was it all stupidity, and if so, on whose part?

The journey to the emergency service garage was without any event. Their bill was really high, and the man who collected the car had no receipt. It was all strange.

And the return journey entailed two and half hours standing in the rain until the bus came.

It was all a strain, and for no profit at all.

Early today, early breakfast, listen to the son's alarm clocks in the background.

Breakfast was good, the drone in the head was bad, and reading a strange email from a strange friend leads to the realisation that this friendship may not be worth the effort.

go

The nuisance in the morning is the discovery that a pullover is missing, it must have been put down somewhere. Too bad, with some luck it may turn up again.

The eggs are overdone today. There is no chance ever that this person will learn how to cook properly.

The weather is warm now, it is actually hot for the end of October, and now we can all speculate as to how the Indian summer will be at the end of November. Sunny weather for December, the only snow will be the fake snow in the shops. But who knows what the weather will do in the future.

Sit in the morning and digest, the news, the breakfast, and all in anticipation of a railway journey today.

The bags and the shoes are all checked, now is the time to go.

There will be a walk up to the station, then the short wait for the train and then an hours time to wrestle with the story of Finnegans Wake.

year zero

 An american artist on facebook left an opinion some days ago advocating the "taking out " of some Iranian politician of note using a remotely controlled missile. The claim was that this would be for the good of humanity, the thought that occurred after reading this madness was that it would be good for that humanity as defined in the first words of the American constitution.

The thoughts circling this madness destroyed last nights sleep, it was only possible to catch up early in the morning and now it is nearly ten. The rapid breakfast has been made, and eaten. There is no news to read really, Xi has won an election in China, anything else would have been a surprise. No real news is available online.

Think about that madness again. The only reply possible was to underscore that the idea is immoral madness, it is the approval of murder. The quick answer "that begs the old question. If you could go back in time to when Hitler was a child, would you kill him?" destroyed yet more sleep.

Upon clearing up the breakfast things think of time travel. Time travel killers, who would return and commit child murder on any person who turned into a mass murderer in  a particular future. King Herod would be a rank amateur with his murder of the innocents in the year zero a.d.

first!

Too much sparkling wine and too much beer and up to late, a successful opening a lovely party and a pleasant late evening out. It all added up to a major personal success. A crown upon twenty years of work.

A presentable show that will run for a month.

Now the work is done and finished.

Time to start the next job.

But get rid of the hangover first!

a warm Autumn day in the last third of October, 2022

 The event planned for this evening will not leave the tangles of the mind, and no constructive thoughts are possible. Even now, at a quarter to eight in the morning, breakfast done and eaten the concern is there. It is not a thing to be taken casually, even though it is unimportant when seen in a wider context. 

The son has apparently developed a passion for washing machines and cleaning his clothes. In a last-minute operation today he has started the machine early, it must have been around five in the morning, and he probably intends to put on the freshly washed clothes for work today, as soon as they have left the dryer.

The clock is ticking on, and there are things to be done, things to be readied for the day. It is good that the day will not be cold, even though the time of the year would dictate that.

This is no more than a warm Autumn day in the last third of October, 2022.

Time for a sleep

 After breakfast and punctual at the appointment in the the bank it was easy to see why the woman had made it to manager of the branch. Polite and rapid to explain things that are hard to explain, she still does well.

She makes her sale, it is of no real import. The cash is at least better off there than on an account being gobbled by inflation, the decision is one of those so called no brainers. She is clever too, she convinces her customer that it is sensible to leave a large proportion of the money with the bank for the time being, to be transferred regularly to the investment account. 

Let us see what happens.

Breakfast was good today, and the appointment at the gallery was oK.  The man wants to talk about his artist for eight minutes, and those eight minutes are what all the questions are for.

The whole business is still twenty one hours away. 

Time for a sleep and a walk to the barbers.

appointment

 three hens eggs again,  breakfast for one, the news is not exciting. All these things in the style of a telegram. There is an appointment at ten, the medicines are taken too. The medicenes are just the pills as per doctor's orders and a glass of water.

Read the news with the whistling in the right ear, a steady hiss that impairs hearing. Through the open window the sound of the building workers comes in as these words are being typed on the small silver machine. The builders are making noise with the dropping of planks, they are belching farting and laughing. Their work is progressing.

It is a gray day, all the lines of the buildings outside are visible, the shade that they throw on the walls are soft and indistinct. It is the kind of weather that might be described as greasy. Grey, indistinct, and ready to turn damp at a moment's notice. The appointment at the gallery will be in twenty minutes. It is time to stop writing and to start preparing to leave the house.

part of the system

The car is now turning into a small stack of papers after the accident. Word from the assessor is that it is a total economic loss, the damage from a what at first had been taken as a trivial accident is so great that any repair would exceed the vehicle's value manyfold.

A small heap of papers in a transparent plastic cover,  aspare key and a spare key for the tow hitch. That is all. It is just a matter of waiting for the lawyer's reaction now.

The sounds in the dark this morning were the delivery trucks for the local pubs and shops in the area. The cool air pouring in throught the wide open verandah door is a comfort, a great comfort when so many others seal in the warm air from their heating systems. Not having a heating system has advantages, but only now. Not at all when the winter's real cold arrives. It will be harder to bear then.

Breakfast of eggs was worthwhile today, and there is a reminder to go to the bank in the mail. They are concerned over the money, and the income, and the personal responsibility. It is all well.

The exhibition opening is on Friday, and nervousness is turning into part of the system.

quiet monday

Early and dark, the door is open to the balcony and the air from the town is blowing into the small room. It is like living in an alcove set off from the street, only that that is not the street outside but a private balcony among the rooftops.

It is still nice to have an own room with the carpets left by the grandmother on the floor. There is nothing else to do. but to sit here and enjpy the peace and the quiet in the morning.

There is no real heating here though, and the temporary heating device draws electricity. Once out of bed the winter cold starts to affect the bones and some extra warmth is needed for comfort. Feel guilty about this, but there is nothing else to be done. The electricity will have to be paid for.   

Today is a day of waiting, waiting for the assessor to have made his assessment of the car and to see whether it is worth repairing or not. It will be necessary to buy a new car later, or perhaps to consider living without an own vehicle.

It is nice in the room, but it will be necessary to go out and to deal with things soon.

way to go

 It is bright and it is time to get up. Nature is both blinding and calling today, go downstairs, bathroom and breakfast making first of all. Feed the cat. Note that in the general untidiness down here that there is now one pracically empty tin of cat food on the counter, and two opened tins in the refrigerator. The cat gets the equivalent of gelato al carne for breakfast. Sounds good and smells awful. But the cat likes it apparently. Rinse the other tin and chuck it,

Three egg sunday, and then read the news. Not understanding military methods and not really knowing about the natures  Ukrainians or Russians leaves plenty of room for wonderment, and a certain fear of the brutality being displayed, the bombings, the destruction, the lies and the torments are all the one horror, all the result of a group trying to take what is not theirs by force. It will be may years before there is normality on the ground there, it will be a lifetime before the people may adequately greet each other again.

There is music today, only from the radio. It was just a gesture to switch it on, and the steady high quality sound of the B4 Klassik radio program presented by a tiny Bose speaker is a joy. It also successfully competes with the hiss in the right ear, drowning this just a little. The hand still aches from the fall down the stairs yesterday, that is what you get for going downstairs on slippy woollen socks. "Should have worn shoes" is the thought, but: nothing much happened and the pain is a reminder to be more careful in future. Looking forward is the only way to go, 

short

 The cat is moving about the house searching for attention, then she holds her head out and lets it be scratched.

Then she is all a go go go into the kitchen, no food, back to human leg and rub the head. No tin in the fridge, open a new tin and put food on her plate.

There is now little sound. Fill the coffee maker. Make toast and boil eggs. The family is unavailable and asleep. Look into the sitting room, this is a pigsty as always. Take the things upstairs and look at what news there is.

Today is the day that the new telephone may be collected. On the way there, give another invite to the lady who sell all the second hand clothes as she is setting up her shop.

It is rainiing, the main street is all damp and bedraggled, tourists in gaggles all covered in plastic rain protectors, people with umbrellas everywhere. The man in the shop has no recognition, he does not know who has just addressed him by name. A blank stare, a how can I help you? This man is not much use. So pay the deposit, receive a few instructions and leave. It is all very unsatisfactory and the rain has got heavier. And back at home, realise that the internet has collapsed.

It is all just too bad, it is just as well that all the distances were short.

progress.

 Wake early, go downstairs, respond to a call from the body, the bladder is irritated and it is all uncomfortable. Downstairs, the son is running about hysterical with a torch. There is no way of knowing what is wrong, he will not talk about it. The lights work in the bathroom and in the passageway, all that is necessary is that they be switched on.

All is well.

Later, when the son has gone to his work, go down and make breakfast, and go upstairs again. The internet is not working for some unknown reason, so there is no news. Then the phone rings, it is the lawyer wishing to say that the message from the assessor may be signed and posted back to the assessor,

Leave the house, hurry to the post office with the letter, they are closed. Oh well, let us go and find something else. Go to the mobile phone shop, the person there does not know what the status is, yesterday's clerk is not on duty today. Leave, this is a waste of time. The new telephone can wait.

Go to the watch repair, they say that there is nothing wrong with the watch. It will not wind because of the habits of its owner. Try to walk swinging an arm or something. Oh, this is all too stupid. The know it all jeeweller has a stupid grin on his face that begs the question of what would happen to it if it made sudden contact with the knuckles of five fingers. Without resorting to any kind of violence leave the shop. At least the watch has been cleaned.

At the photography shop they are grateful for the invitation, and at the café the service is both pleasant and beautiful to look at.

In a newspaper store with a postal section mail the letter, there are no problems with irregular closure due to staff meetings and the like.

Things are looking up as the day progresses.

bitter beer

 This is finally getting to be too much, whatever is in the Löwenbräu beer apart from water hops and alcohol keeps you awake at night. The estrangement from the family caused the need for food elsewhere, and the local pub with their simple meal proved ample. But the beer has been noticed before, those particular side effects are unique in their intensity and must be avoided in future. There are enough locals available to make this possible.

Speaking to the artist yesterday, she displayed her problems one after another, the difference is that she is unaware that value is independent of the work put into a piece and may have nothing to do with the cost of the material involved. She is exhausting, for she will always reduce her art to a list of cost factors and reasonable profit. That is irrelevant. It is a white elephant.

And afterwards, the local, with all the boring old men in the corner.

And afterwards, the sleeplessness.

That is all.

no limbo

 This morning, forget to put salt into the water for the poached eggs. Forget to put in a shot of vinegar as well. It is interesting, the vinegar thrown in on top of the eggs causes an effervescence, a white foam rearing up like a soufflé. The salt on top of this never seems to get through to the water below. But never mind about all this, put a little salt on the side of the plate in case the eggs have less salt than they would need to taste well.

The coffee and the toast let themselves be made without problems.

Breakfast upstairs, read the news, enjoy the bright clear day.

The news is dim, there are threats of escalation in the war with Russia. The situation now is not peace, and    there is no limbo between war and peace.

car

 The 'phone rang early, heard it and ignored it. The birthday party last night was unexpected, and the gift of a night out was unexpected too. And the return home was properly late as well.

Get up a while later, go downstairs and make breakfast. After reading the news about Putin's troops terrorising the Ukrainian civilian population by randomly bombing them sit down and think for a while. The behaviour of the Russian forces is unreal in its brutality.

Start to ring back the assesor who had made contact that morning. He sounds a friendly man, and then -  why not? It is his livelihood. Write him a short message with the email address and receive a list of requests in return.  Now all is well and the matter is completely in the hands of the lawyer and his assistants.

Wander about the town, have a cup of coffee at the Italian pizza place, then walk back home.

Search the web for a new second hand car, in case the old one is so badly damaged that it needs to be replaced.

It would be a good idea to wait for the money before buying a replacement.

accident

 Dark and cold and still there is a feeling of relief that everything is still in order, that all these sensations are still available. The day is lightening now, and it is time to go downstairs.

Yesterdays accident has left no mark on the old body, the body of the car is destroyed. A young driver taking a left turn off overlooked the approaching vehicle, the instinctive braking reaction was just insufficient to prevent the crash. Only bent metal, nothing else was the result of this business which all took less than a couple of seconds. There was no chance of evasion for either party.

The morning is spent with telephone calls to automobile associations, long winded lawyers and finally an assessor. The papers are all collected in an envelope, the details written on the outside. That is the end of it, it remains to be seen if the opposing lawyer trees to make a case for his client. That would be a nuisance,  the matter seems clear.

The shock of the accident settles into the bones of the body, the relief that there is no serious harm.

The day is colder now.

Masks

 Fog,even grey and damp, is blocking the view of the tree line over the roofs of Landshut. It is a wonderful soft light, even the shadows underneath things are soft. Structures surfaces show, their colours glow

It is later today, last evening was spent taking talking and taking pictures of jazz musicians, local talent that take what they do and themselves seriously. Old men in the pub being nice to the young girls, in the hope that they are liked and admired. And they all in their finery, out to enjoy the company and to see the people.

A Scottish engineer, a man who built centrifuges talks slowly over his accent, he is used to not being understood here in Germany. There is no problem understanding him here, and he seems to have some pleasure out of meeting somebody with an Irish accent who has no difficulty with his accent.

The fog is now lifting slowly, breakfast has been made and taken, now it is time to go downstairs again and shower and shave and take on the day on a journey to the collector of African masks, a left over from the rich tribal culture of Africa.

things happen

 Leave the house for the meeting, another meeting. People are all complaining, and do not seem to be able to separate their perosnal needs from those of the town. To suddenly have a bus route running through the street is surprising, and not to be told why is annoying. But in the end, the town council are going to have to make a decision as to what is best for the town.

Leave the meeting, people are starting to become sociable, and why wait until they join up and start a german association. There is no wish to be part of one of those groupings of like minded that spend there times drinking and making agreement in chorus. It is not pleasant to be a member of one of these "Vereins" and to have a different opinion.

At the gallery have a discussion on the upcoming exhibition. Agree that holding a talk is not a good idea. Artists should not talk at their own exhibitions and photographers should not talk at their own shows either. It is very pleasant to not to have to speak publicly. At the meeting with the coffee and so forth a reporter starts to ask questions, and before anything is clear this is an interview. The man makes a radio show. This is all publicity, all is good for the gallery.

And then, meet the librarian. He has come to visit the gallery too. This is the first time to meet him in many years.

This is a small town, things like this happen.

sun has gone, the cat is back

 Eggs and toast, the small standard now for breakfast. The thought of an Irish bed and breakfast fry is frightening, the thought of grease in the air, catching the hair and the clothes. Porridge would be nice too, perhaps that would need looking in to. The cat has decided to visit the top flat today, inspecting everything, running her jawline over corners perhaps to analyse the scent gleaned therefrom, perhaps to leave a mark. Which of those two is she doing?. There is a sunbeam coming in over the carpet, and she settles there, to take car of her coat of fur.

The clock on the wall is ticking, a second by second reminder that time is fleeting by. soon it will be necessary to take the car and drive to buy things and to visit a friend in Munich.

The sun has gone and the cat is back. She is complaining now, her green eyes on her yellow furry face.

too many pictures

 The fizzy tablet in the water emits a burst of bubbles into the glass of water, and continues to emit them, and after a short period  starts to rise to the surface of the water. It continues to foam as it floats on the waters surface, until there is nothing left. This is medicine designed to reduce congestion in the lungs. It seems to work, and it is nice to watch.

The Arabians have joined the Russians to blackmail the world by withholding their oil. It is time that the rest of the world got serious about exploring other energy sources and not those controlled by despots. So much for that, people will be on the streets demanding that the despots be appeased, and the western waste continued. It is hard to not recriminate and look into the future, but that is probably the only option.

Listening to the radio in the morning is a habit that could be expanded, it is very pleasant. Even the German news is worth listening to today. Sort through the pictures yet again, put away those that are simply repeats or show a lower technical quality. There just have to be ways found to reduce the quantity of pictures, it is just difficult to say which are very much better than the others. 

Selection is difficult when it conflicts with personal involvement, this is certainly true when there are just too many pictures.

other people have less interest, remember that!

 Jazz guitar and bass combo in the local last night, many pictures of the players, and more consumed than had originally been intended. All the cause of a longer sleep today, a later breakfast and a later reading of the news.

And nearly forgot to take all those pills that the doctor ordered. Most of them are just vitamins anyway, necessary and harmless.

The warm morning in the top flat is relaxing, all knowing that there will be no heating until before Christmas. The plumbers let you wait, they have much work to do.

Things are silent and peaceful in the old house now, the old building which is in such a sorry state of repair and maintenance. There is nothing to be done about it any more. That is just the way things go.

The exhibition is now only two weeks away. This is personally exciting, other people may not be so interested but that is how it goes.

first things first

 Air the bedroom to clear the windows which have recieved a coating of moisture. The windows need to be cleaned anyway, there are still leftovers of wall paint and plaster on the glass. The carelessness of many years ago is taking its revenge today. As the cool morning air drifts through the room again take pleasure in the own room. Take pleasure in the white walls with the prints from Venice in 1991.

Nearly clash with the son's movements this morning, he has to go to work. He likes to be alone in the morning, he likes to avoid the prescence of anyone else in the morning. Resolve to get up earlier tomorrow, to avoid this conflict. 

The building workers started puctually at seven, only to stop again two hours later to have their breakfast break. That is the German way. It seems that way, at least.

The list is made, and it is shorter than expected. Today the musicians are on the agenda, it will be necessary to try and force a decision here, there is no time left to hem and to haw about details that should have been cleared months ago.

First things first.

Make another cup of coffee

"Just doing the job"

 The cold bedroom in the top flat has happy sunlight pouring in through the verandah door that leads out to the balcony. Leave the bed, it is not all that cold. Open the verandah door, then go downstairs to the bathroom and then to make breakfast. The meal that is the happiest of the day. A happy short meal.

There are three weeks to go to the exhibition of the reactor pictures, excitement is increasing, there is no way to be cool about this. An exhibition in the home town, in the town of principal residence, that has been sponsored, is a great personal success. There is no way to make this smaller, and probably no need to. 

"Just doing the job"

The happy meal is over, the shower has been taken, the pills have been swallowed and the water has been drunk. The family is asleep on this holiday celebrating German unity thirty-odd years after forty years division into two countries. The worker using his circular saw in the neighbours house has been stopped, work on an official holiday is not allowed. The sky is blue and white fluffy clouds everywhere. The top flat is airing nicely now. This is a near nonsensical stream of consciousness leading to unconsciousness.

There are things to be taken care of today, a list to make. Invitations have to be prepared.