no excuse

 The cat! Yes, the big fat marmalade cat sneaking along beside the bed, and then making noises at the door. There is a fear of freezing, yes memories of yesterday. Get up, let the cat out, go to the bathroom. All seems regular.  A little bit of pain, but it is now so far receded that it is possible that this will not be permanent.

It is six.

make  breakfast,

Perhaps there is nothing much to worry about at all.

There will be that appointment tomorrow. Take a covid self test, it is so negative. Oh well, no excuses now.

Duvet

 27 FEBRUARY 2022

The new duvet from that Swedish crowd is a delight. As is the mattress cover, from the same crowd. And the pillow is glorious, especially when compared to the old raggity one, that old thing all burst at the seams and leaking artificial fibre.

The situation is worse, there is no getting up. This is not self pity. At times, it is barely possible to make it to the toilet for smallest result. The inflamation probably inflicted by the doctor leaves no peace, and it is all accompanied by a feeling of freezing. It is of what should be a comfortableewarmth in the room, it is probably just this little trauma.

Suddenly, at one in the morning( today, 28th) it becomes unbearably warm. Throw of the top cover. Noe it is in order again and sleep

prescription

Unconsciousness ends at six with the cat crowing for a feed. The animal has got used to human early rising patterns and being fed at this time. There is no wish to get up and feed the cat on the part of this human. There is not even a wish to get up at all. But get up anyway, and fed the feline noismaker and make the little breakfast.

Exhaustion will not let go all day. Yesterday the pain from the inspection in the doctors surgery, today just a wish to remain in bed and to sleep all day.

Lie down on the couch, fall asleep.

In the early afternoon, go out for a really short walk and get some shopping. Upon returning, collapse into bed. And at five in the afternoon, consider whether or not it was that antibiotic which the doctor prescribed that caused all this exhaustion. There is no medical knowlledge to confirm or not or whatever is happening.

But it is impossible to do the things that had been planned in this condition.

pain

 Start the day with a long conversation with the barber whilst she cuts the silver hair down to a reliable length. The back of the head is like a slug afterwards, but feels like a cats back when stroked.

She always does a good job, and never stops talking.

Pay the fee, and go down to the river to the italian riverside café. The cup of coffee is as nice and pleasant as it ever was.

Watch the birds by the river through the window. There are seagulls and pigeons flying around in excited flocks every time there is the least hint of somebody scattering crumbs for their attention. But nobody really does, for the town council has had signs put up forbidding the feeding of the wild birds because this attracts the rats.

It is really very cold.

Go back home, and start to sort all the papers to work out the side costs for the rent and do the preparation for the tax accountant, now that all of the documents are there. The experience at the doctors surgery yesterday was more exhausting and painful than first thought.

24, today

 Breakfast today was confused, the timing for the eggs was all wrong, and they were not boiled long enough to ensure a secure coating of denatured white protein around the egg yellow. 

Still, the early morning breakfasts are turning into a pleasant fixture of life as an old age pensioner. If these breakfasts were perfect all of the time they would just become boring and matter of course. After reading about the Russians disgusting and immoral invasion of Ukraine, look at yesterdays pictures.

They are not all bad, some are good.

Those old lenses are not entirely bad. They are just difficult.

It is good to relive the experiences of yesterdays walk

cormorants and dyke

23, yesterday

 on the morning of the 24th write the post for the twenty third.

The long walk yesterday and the long lenses that proved so much more difficult to control than had been expected took their toll yesterday evening and there was no other possibility but to enjoy the gentle oblivion of the clean sheets and the fresh duvet.

Yesterday's pictures that turned out to be disappointing yesterday, it was the difficulties with the modern cameras and the old lenses, lenses that must be thirty years old now.

It was a long walk down to the atomic reactor at Niederaichbach, on a bright, clear, and even warm day, and it was a long walk back. There was a cup of coffee and three pretzels to be had at the bakery in Niederaichbach, and the joy of seeing all the too-distant cormorants on the isolated islet near the reactor.

The unpleasant thing was the damaged cable release on the lens which stopped a reasonable use of the camera. But there it was. 

A solitary day, and that was not bad at all.

change

 Walking through town, a young woman approaches and asks whether English is understood. Say that it is and ask what she is trying to sell to me. She says that she is a member of a rock band, an independent, and they are trying to sell their CD's on the streets. She is entertaining, and in a way funny. Buy a recording from her, and ask whether it would be possible to take a picture of the band. She calls the remaining members over, and so we take a few pictures. They are all in black and white, and are nothing special.

The band is called California Condor.

Listen to a few tracks later on. It is all heavy metal, and seems to be sung all in English. On the evening walk in the park listen to the tracks, learn to enjoy it. It is a change from classical radio

forgot

 Pack the bag carefully, the big bag with the long lenses and the small camera fits into the rucksack with plenty of space to spare. Close the rucksack, remember to pack the batteries too, and head out to test this enormous lens. The idea is to take pictures of birds in the distance on the lake. With normal lenses there was no way to get close enough.

Take the path through the town and along by the river. It being Sunday and a sunny windy and cold day, there are many peope about. After an hour's walk arrive at the lake. Sadly, there are no cormorants about today, just seagulls and swans. And of course, coots and ducks.e 

Unpack and assemble the lens and attach the camera to it. Out of habit, open the flap to check for the data card.

There is none.

There are three spare batteries in the bag and no data card.

Walk back home, thinking about the pictures of swans that will never be made.

Potential

Moving things around trying to clean up the flat. It is difficult, for the wish for a clean flat i s not shared by the family. Maybe the wish is there, but there is no sense of importance. Nobody cares.

The cat only wants to cuddle. The silly animal must be getting sentimental in her old age.

The doorbell sounds, go downstairs. It is the postman, the parcel service, with the diopter adapter for the camera. It took a whole week to arrive because the sender did not pack it carefully enough and the parcel people had to repack it. No idea why these things happen, but they do.

The weather is great today, but there is no wish to leave the house. Continue to try and clear things up. Then try to set up the camera so that it will work with the long lens. It would be nice to take pictures of birds with it, those incredible cormorants, the swans and the ducks. But the lens is difficult to manage, and the sony camera will enable you to do everything if you have the patience to go through the menus and to understand the cryptic instructions and symbols there. Why does every technician have to try and invent their own language?

In the afternoon, the parts for the vacuum cleaner arrive. This is the onset of an orgy of vacuum cleaning, work at it untill the dust bag in the machine is full. The room does not look much better for it, but progress has been made.

Then look at the test pictures taken from the balcony of the castle. Realise that the pictures are of low contrast, but quite sharp. The lens has potential.

snowdrops

 The café is friendly today, the Italian waiters are at their best all good humoured with their "signore" and "bongiorno".The favourite seat is free today, and there is no need to check the covid papers. They checked them yesterday after all.  Listen to the radio on the earphones, this drowns out the sound of Italian popular rock. 

The smell of the food is good, someday maybe there will be time to have something to eat there.

But leave the café at the end of the coffee, and go on to the shop to get bread and apples, sour cream, pretzels and cheese. Really, all the things that got forgotter, or that are only good when they are really fresh.

There is no reason for it, but there is a sense of happiness today, quite without reason. Reasons are not necessary, it is just a novelty after a period of depression. After having taken the shopping home, go out and take the car to one of the parking spots opposite to the police station. These parking places are for locals only, and it is better to use these if you are going to park for a longer time.

And then take a walk , just a short stroll around the bluffs above the valley. Only five kilometres, for more would make no sense in the dark. 

Take a few pictures of snowdrops.

two doors

 The day is stormy and worse, the sense of exhaustion will not go away. Is it purely because there is no need to get up that the body tells the mind not to get up but to stay in bed? This is no good. The storm outside is the same one that is making news on the morning radio, reports of people killed by falling branches and damage to roofing.

Repair the door to the flat and the door to the sitting room. They are both jamming in different ways. First, the one to the sitting room will not lock when closing, rather requiring the door handle to be depressed first. This is easy enough to fix using a small screw to raise the catch slightly, so that it will slip over the hook when the door is closed . The other door needs a few millimetres removed from the bottom. Use a plane, and this works too.

After both doors have been re-hung the tiredness is there again. Maybe this is just old age, who knows?

burnt clay pots

 Use the car for the first time in many weeks. It is still exactly were it had been left many weeks ago, now it will be used again.

Drive slowly through the rain to a nearby town, following the instructions from the navigation application on the 'phone faithfully. This is the longest stretch for which a walk is planned, and this is just to get an idea of what the town is like.

There is nothing like arriving in a small town on a rainy Wednesday evening for giving a bad impression. The place is dull and grey. It could be pretty on a bright summer day, but today it is just a disaster. A few people scuttling about trying to avoid the rain, children and  older people mainly.

Go into a café, it is a depressing disaster of a place, a sort of impersonal franchise decor. The coffee is surprisingly good, that is a relief for the battered senses. There is a basket outside a second hand store with things to give away. There are two glass holders for candles, they are very ornate grave lanterns. They are beautifully made, ask the shop's owner if he is really giving them away. He says yes, so question no farther.

Take them back to the car, and pack them away.

Walk by the back of the castle, and go into the museum. They have a display of old pottery, from the stone age. It is quite beautiful, with all the simple patterns on it. To consider that this is now eight thousand years old. From a time when the whole area was swampy valleys and dry hillocks between.

The museum is small but beautiful. It makes up for the rain and the lousy weather.

eggs

Cracking the eggs on the pan, a small lesion in the immaculate shell, and open it up so that the white and the yolk fall into the boiling water, think that it is really too early for this. Put two slices of toast into the toaster, depress the lever.  The toaster starts to toast. Check the eggs, the yolks have almost disappeared under the white coat of denatured egg protein.

The coffee has finished burbling in its Italian pot, pour a cup full into the Apilco cup. A cup made in Limoges in the Yves Deshoullieres factory long ago. The toaster pops, and the two slices of toasted bread shoot up into sight at the top of the silver appliance. Put butter on both of them and place them on a plate.

Ladle the two eggs out of the boiling water, let the excess water drip off, and put them on top of the toast.

A knife and fork and all is ready. Take the breakfast into the big room and sit down at the table. 

By the light of the screen of the laptop eat the poached eggs on toast and sip coffee.

This could be the highlight of the day.

Then the blood pressure pills start to function, the legs go cold, and the head starts to spin. This will not do, it is important to lie down now, and to forget the thoughts of going for a walk. The cold in the legs is unbearable, even though it is not really that cold. And the feeling of weight and darkness on the head, like a sudden attack of tiredness. It will be necessary to make an appointment with the doctor to readjust the dosing of the drugs.

Go back to bed, fully dressed and wrap up in the bedclothes.

The feeling of oncoming unconsciousness, the sureness of sleep.

Eating those eggs was the high point of the morning.

recovery today

 Wake early after a night of poor sleep. Walking forty kilometres yesterday was tiring, and hard on the ankles. That must be the reason that all long distance hikers wear hiking boots and not walking shoes. Still, walking shoes are pleasant and easy, hiking boots are practically sports equipment. Wake up and have breakfast and pack the package with the camera that found its buyer yesterday.

Clean up the kitchen a bit, whilst waiting for the postman to arrive. When he does, there is the parcel with that new camera, the one to replace the one that landed in the package to be sold. Then go to the post office to post the sold camera to Bremen. It is a good exchange, the new camera is quite a lot better than the old one.

Spend a short while in the café, time for one of their coffees. Watch as one of the staff slowly and thoroughly polishes the glass doors of the refrigerated showcase for the cakes.

Yesterday was the day of the long walk, today is the day of recovery. Take pictures of yet another camera that is to be sold, make sure that there are no visible finger prints on the glass. It is icy in the room in which the pictures are taken, it has not had heating installed yet. Send the pictures to the customer by mail, let us see how he decides. To buy or not to buy, and so forth

40

 Wake up earlier than the alarm, and take a shower. Then make breakfast for one.

At seven the alarm goes off.

Gather up the things needed for the walk, forget to pack a bottle of water

Climb up the keyboard stairs leading to the castle. And then walk over the usual way over the hill called Moniberg and then the long climb up to the car park of the nature reserve.

Get lost here, there are no signposts indicating the path at all. A charming old lady in a farmyard gives directions

Walking along the road towards Schlossberg realise that there is something missing.

It is the tinnitus. It is one of it's rare remissions. It is good that there are no other people around to look at the man walking and smiling like a fool. The absence of something can be fantastic.

Find the path and follow it all over the hills until it ends in the village that also hosts the atomic reactor. It is a strange place, there is not a single guest house open. Ask a woman if she could perhaps explain where to get a glass of water in this place. She says that probably everywhere is closed, and goes into her house and comes out with a half litre glass of tap water. That was very kind, it solves the thirst problem.

The walk returning home is longer than expected, the feet are sore.

Arrive home in the dark, it is seven,and this has been a ten hour walk. The pedometer in the phone estimates the distance at forty kilometres.

go on

 A day to be forgotten as soon as it occurs, a day of nothing. The morning food, it is good that is there. The absence of news on the computer is strange, but then it being Saturday there is a reason for it. Wait in the sitting room until the light of day illuminates the way between the piles of junk left in the corners. It could have been such a nice room, now it is just a mess, an inhabited junk shop.

Silence! Even the thought is wrong. You could do something about it. But it is like boxing with the wind. You win every fight and yet it is still there and will be for all time.

The eggs and toast for breakfast are a pleasure just as breakfast for one. The cat is around somewhere, probably getting sick in a corner.

Sit down and wait for nine, or later. There is a letter to take to the post office.

Later on, pass the Italian's place. It is full up to the brim with guests. There will be no nice coffee today, not in that place full of people. Go on to the supermarket, to buy a few things for breakfast tomorrow.

slow

 The same story as yesterday, optimism at breakfast giving way to despondency later on in the morning. Double check on the order for the camera, it is a lot of money, after all. It seems to be all in order. Fiddle about in Ebay, and discover that there is so much in points and coupons there that there is no need to pay for an accessory, it is possible to just order it. That is very pleasant. To have a bill with zero on the bottom line for a change.

Spend the rest of the day trying to fix up a lens to take pictures of the birds at the lake. Buying a modern lens would simply cost too much money, so try to fit the modern camera to the old follow focus lens.

Spend the time working out how the contacts need to be made to hook up the release to the modern camera. Then open up the grip on the lens, and there is a switch, all ready built in, and wires leading to a small electrical socket for a jack plug.

Buy the wire on the internet, that will solves the problem.

There will be no new wiring or construction necessary.

It took all day to recognise this.

anyhow.

 The lonely breakfasts need not be so, but the son does not wish to share food with his family any more, for whatever reason. It is hard to understand. The wife prefers to remain in bed in the morning. Therefore, the easiest way is to enjoy a lonely breakfast and read the news delivered on a screen. The cat gives some company, but today she ate her food and just got sick in the middle of the sitting room. That was an extra little job to clear the mess up. But that is one of the less pleasant things that cats do. Something that has to be lived with.

Today will be the day to buy a camera, to replace the black and white camera that made problems. It is not an easy decision, but it will be made.

The big camera sold well yesterday, and today the package is off to the post office on the small cart. It should be almost in Berlin tomorrow. That means there is money available to buy another camera, even though the old one is not sold yet.

The coffee in the Italian place is as good as ever, even though the news on the phone is bad. The camera sold, but elsewhere. It does not matter, there will be others. It is all only the hobby of an old age pensioner now, anhow.

father and son

 After an early awakening and breakfast, lie down on the sofa. There is no point, and there is no energy for getting up for a walk today.

The son is up a bit later, and hear him get the message that the first class of the day will not take place. He comes over and starts to explain how he is going to make up a family backup server for all the data. Make a small joke about a backup for his father maybe? He is rather upset at this, and makes inquiries as to whether or not his father is unhappy.

Things have been better, but it is very nice of him to ask. He is nearly eighteen, and will be finished school later on this year.

And he has no idea of what he wants to do.

footsore.

 Todays walk is to take the path around the first reservoir downriver from the town. Pack the camera into the rucksack, and a pair of rain trousers, just in case. Leave the house late, it is just ten in the morning. It is cold, be thankful for the warmth of the jacket. 

Just after the last bridge it gets to be too warm. Stop, and take the warm lining out of the jacket. It is tolerable now. The rucksack has a new bulge now, that is the jacket's lining. The earphones play the program of Bayern 4 radio station,  John Williams is ninety today and the music of Jurassic Park is in the air. Walk along the dyke, loot k out over the river. There are not so many water birds about today, but there is a very beautiful flight of swans. Otherwise, just a  lot of ducks and coots.

Circumvent the switching station belonging to the hydroelectric power plant, take a picture of the fence. 

Upon crossing the bridge over the river feel the whole structure bounce slightly to the rhythm of the steps. The wind coming in from the lake on this side is much colder than the other, today is not a hospitable day. The days with the fog were nicer. There are only few cormorants to be seen, perhaps they are all at work fishing.

A flock of geese passes by overhead, wheeling and circling and then landing on the lake. They are probably preparing to fly north, to Greenland, or wherever they go to in summer.

It is exhausting today, the feet ache.

Take a picture of a pizza bakery from behind, and then go home.

kids

The listlessness shows in the content of these posts. There are ups and downs, but at the moment things are mostly flat. There is not much happening.

The clerk at the post office gives his professional greeting, scans both of the parcels and prints out a reciept and says goodbye and then "next please". They are two more of the Ebay parcels, and now there are only five left and one that has not paid yet.

Walk all the way down the main street , and then cut across behind the church that is now used as an exhibition space. It is no longer used for religious purposes.

Go to the Italian café and enjoy one of their coffees. There are a new crew of waiters and cooks there, but the old boss remains the same. The new waiter needs to check the covid papers, and they are in order and he is happy. The atmosphere of the place is as friendly as it always is, just the people are different.

Shop, and buy a small pan for poaching eggs in. Perhaps the non stick coating will help clean up after breakfast tomorrow. And then go home, and pack up the next thing that will be sold.

In the evening go out to observe the anti covid vaccination demonstration. A pack of madmen acting like spoilt kids.

past

Get up early, read the news and go back to bed. There is no wish to leave the house, no wish to go walking. Yesterday was enough.

The new couch is cheap and uncomfortable. So much for that, it was not a good buy at all.

Potter about the flat, try to repair a door that will not stay closed. Install a small, powerful magnet. The door stays closed now. It is the outer part of a double door, a door padded with horse hair. Perhaps it was designed to muffle sound or to keep in the heat.

And now it is time to prepare the last of the things for Ebay. It is a good feeling that this is over now.

lost and found

 A long walk, past the nature preserve, walking along a one-time tank track. Then climb a long hill using a country lane through the forest. There is a crossroads here, take the left turn to a village named Frauenberg. The women's hill, a strange name for a village. Receive attention from a farmer after entering his farm accidentally, he is not unfriendly and shows the route to the Landshut path.

At the outskirts of the village three children are playing, accompanied by a dog. There are two girls, both with rollerblades, and a young boy with a dogs leash. Chat with them for a while, the one young girl is extraordinarily pretty, she must be about nine, and is really proficient with her roller blades. The boy is younger, and is being bullied a bit by the two girls.

They give  further directions for the route to the river.

Just before the river there are fences and warning signs blocking the path, this must be the result of a wrong turnoff, the children possibly only go this far by car. In the end there is no path any more, but the position of the river is clear. It is a struggle through the undergrowth to reach the dyke, but once there the way is clear.

Realise that on the struggle through the undergrowth one of the ear plugs had become dislodged. 

Return to the jungle and start to search. After an hour the earplug is found, just lying there. This is fantastic, for the loss of one of those expensive things would have been much the same as losing both of them.

The result of all this is that it is dark upon the return back home.

So what

 Sometimes it seems a good idea to start cleaning up the flat, tidying up the kitchen and hoovering the hallway. Hoover is a dam in the United States and a cleaning appliance in England. Work out the relevant usage for yourselves.

Breakfast today was strange, there was the constant feeling that it would be good to get up and go for a long, long, walk. But instead, start cleaning things, and then go upstairs and take photographs of a camera that is to be sold.

And then clean the stairwell, eliciting a stupid comment from the tenant. Ok, so the stairs are filthy, now they are cleaner than they used to be. It is all pointless. Clean up the pictures and put the camera online. Perhaps this will bring untold riches, but that is stretching credibility too.

Things are going wrong again, perhaps it will be a good idea to take that walk tomorrow, even though it will be Saturday and the crowds will be out. But: So what!

official

The traffic is busy at nine thirty in the morning, cross the big bridge and walk up the road to the second town hall. There is a bell and a microphone at the door, press the button on the bell.

There is a discussion, they cannot find my name.

This is no wonder, the appointment is in the third town hall, the one dealing with traffic registration and licensing of drivers. Walk there  a quickly as possible, with all the fuss over appointments and documentation to prove vaccination states and masks, it would be silly to have to repeat the visit. It is a long walk, across the small town, parts of it along the river leading to the reservoirs.

Arrive at the building, show the identification, and apologise for being late. Follow the security mans directions to the second floor, and wait until the light at the door turns green. The quick walk was only three kilometres, but still, this makes it really late for the appointment. Apologise for being late, and try to explain the problem with the wrongly identified town hall. The offices are all over the place, the original building was just too small.

After all of this, the official tells me that the necessary documents have not arrived from Munich yet, that is the place where the old licence was issued all those years ago. She is really very helpful, and writes an email to the office in Munich, telling them to hurry up.

Well, that is all.

Walk out of the building, walk past the security guards, and retrace the path back home. Walk a slightly different way this time, and drop into the favourite Italian place on the way. That is the highlight of the morning, a cup of coffee.

The camera will be coming back from it's repair later on, that is something to look forward to. 

3 stops

 Walk, walk, and walk more until after around five kilometres euphoria sets in. Down the hill by the brewery, and up the steep slope to the viewpoint. There is a man there with a camera on a tripod pointed at the setting sun. He has a whole lot of complicated gadgets on his camera. The camera shop must love him.

Go on up over the hill, listen to the music on the earplugs. The exercise is good, after the day spent worrying and tidying up at home. It is so simple, and yet imagine that most people who have to work for a living just simply do not have the time for this lusury. At the bottom of the hill, there is a traffic light to help pedestrians across the busy road. It is red for a long time.

And crossing the river, there is a rain shower, the surface of the water is all crinkled with the heavy drops of cold water

It is good to be out in the rain, it is good to be out.

And upon reaching the town there are all the lights in the shops and the buildings

¡conform!

 Two more eggs this morning, and a few slices of toast. Read the news in the dark, just the light from the screen to eat by.

There was a warm shower earlier, that helped waking up too.

There is another parcel to take to the post office, a woman in Paris bought the old Contax camera, may she be happy with it and please find no grounds for complaint. Wait for the son to complete his breakfast, and then get dressed and take the parcel out into the cold morning. The woman in the post office takes the parcel, she does not even bother to check the size, and the thing is on its way to France. It would be nice to go to France too, but at the moment that is difficult.

And then: Off to the Italian, and one of their fantastic cups of coffee.

And then: Down to the basement of the shopping mall to try and get a better picture.

This second picture is worse than the first. These passport boxes are no use at all.

But at the end of the day it does not matter. A scowl on the driving licence, or the appearance of a grinning corpse, it is of no importance so long as the technical specifications are met. And if they are, then there will be no problem obtaining a copy of this licence conforming to European Community specifications.