knock knock

There is a nasty dry taste in the mouth again, a night asleep, and now that. There is still dust in the hair left over from yesterdays expoits, the repairing of the entrance to the upstairs bathroom.
It would have been better to have taken the shower last night, that only leaves this morning. Put the nights shirt into the clear plastic box for the dirty washing, and take a walk across the cold flagstones to the bathroom, brush the teeth. The mint flavoured toothpaste dispels the nasty taste in the mouth, the warm water of the shower washes the dust from the body, the dust that had rested there all night.

Later on at the bureau it the bedroom see that the computer, which had made noises in the night, wanted an update. It is easier to say that the computer wanted it, rather than some bureaucrat in Cupertino. Thus take the easy way, and let the bureaucrats vanish from sight. Press the required buttons, type in the passwords, and let the machine go catatonic for three quarters of an hour. Meanwhile, make a cup of coffee.
Or two.

The news of the steadily increasing number of infected persons in the world is sobering, and wonder when the man with the scythe is due to knock on the door.
But then, he is so busy now that he will probably not bother to knock.

silence

A morning of nothing, awake early, be alone. It is good that the cat is there, something that moves, something that follows it's own survival instincts. The electronic alarm clock, set by the son for no apparent reason, beeps. The sound pierces the closed doors between his room and his parents room. It goes on and on, a steady beeping noise.
Bear it untill it becomes unbearable.
Get up, go to the son's room, and see the clock with it's glowing red figures. There is a whole multitude of buttons on the top surface, none is really labelled. So call the son, tell him to turn it off. A hand reaches down from the high bed and touches a button on the top of the black box. One of the many buttons, cannot see which one.

The beeping stops.

It is Monday, the 30th of March and there is no sound from the outside world. It is normally a quiet town, now it is a silent town. All in the grip of a virus, a small ball that is accidentaly so malignant that it inefficiently destroys it's host.

The silence and the clarity of the air are the only positve effects of this long asylum from work.
The lack of leadership there has left so many with an unsure holiday, an inability to do their jobs.
But then
make the best of it


The cat probably wonders at the changed situation. There are more humans in her environment, humans that were not there all the time before.

And there is no news other than that the toll of the sick and the dead climbs steadily, confronting the world daily with numbers that seemed impossible the week before.

summer time

The sun in the window has a springtime quality today, the light promising warmth that is yet to come. After having dealt with the teeth and the other morning things, put on the white hoodie and the black trousers worn yesterday, there is no need to dress up for leaving the house today.

Read about the coronavirus and it's attendant disease, wonder if that will be the end. Egocentric thoughts, but it is the kind of thing that it might be good to be aware of. Britain's shock, Ireland's fecklessness, America's incapability, Italy's tragedy, Spain's disaster, France suffering, Germany waiting, and it will be worse long before it goes away, the tragedy is that each of these countries had a warning, there was a harbinger, a harbinger that was ignored.

There is the pricking of extended claws on the knees, the cat draws herself up and settles down. Put a hand on her head and rub it, elicit a deep purr, probably catspeak expressing contentment. Not a thing to be sure of, but she always does it, either incapable of learning or a habit enjoyed.

The wife is up, makes herself a cup of coffee.

She asks whether or not the clocks have been adjusted.

So adjust the two clocks in the sitting room, the Brillie horloge mêre and the clock from Le Havre with the mechanism by Leon Hatôt.

The time has now been set to summer time

 

blood pressure

there is boredom in the air today, despite there being things that should be done, the sort of boredom that is there on awakening and realising that there are too many things to be done, and only trouble to be gained by doing at least half of them.
That is complicated? It is not. It is just an attempt to justify doing nothing.

Awake bored and dissatisfied, the cat wants to leave the room, let her out.
Bathroom, as the mind is warming up, ready to start functioning.
Return to the bureau in the bedroom, start to read the news, make a cup of coffee in the kitchen.
There is no news. America has achieved a first in the statistics, that was to be expected.
Germany has precise statistics. And Italy and Spain are disastrous now. The British prime minister is infected, the Irish are moaning about their difficulties.
Take the pills, the two things that the doctors ordered, and in the course of ten minutes, the blood pressure collapses again.
Return to bed, cold, and shivering despite the pleasant temperature in the room.

This is the none sense of isolation, two weeks ago getting up would have involved going to work, those pills taking effect in the car, the cars heater would have compensated the feeling of cold, and the necessary concentration on the traffic would have overridden the lack of concentration.

Awaken again, later, the wife is in the sitting room listening to the radio.
Things are better again.

pressure

There are two pills, to be taken in the morning. The one will lower the blood pressure, the other will do things for the internal organs, the bladder, and all that stuff between the piss and the shit.
Read the news, then take a shower. The dust from yesterdays work is in the hair, the eyes, the nose and the mouth. It was sanding some floors in an unused part of the house, the dust is very fine. It finds it's way past the face mask without problems, insidious stuff. Think about masks and covid-19 and wonder if a virus is insidious too.

The dust washed off, fresh clothing on for the day. Read the news again, check the mail. The cat climbs onto the knees, lies down there and purrs. The eyes go unfocussed, the text on the screen dissolves. The blood pressure goes down, and the head begins to spin. There is no concentration any more, this will not do.
Go into the sitting room, lie down on the couch, until this passes. It must be the blood pressure pill, what else could it be? No idea.

Awake on the couch to the sound of the son working at something in the kitchen, Wish him a good morning.

Sit at the table on the sitting room, start these notes. The son sits down oppsite with a bowl of spaghetti and grated cheese accompanied by a cup of coffee.  Not even in Italy could that be a regular type of breakfast. The spaghetti hanging out of his mouth and the long hair hanging off his head look funny.
As a result of this view, start to laugh.
He starts to act the clown.

The immediate effect of the blood pressure pill have worn off.

Now, it is late in the morning and it is time to work out what to do with the day.

lazy day waiting

shave, the facial fuzz is too much, this is no good. The hot tap water warms the face, cover the hairs with shaving foam, wait.

Then wash the small cheap razor, and scratch it across the face, removing all the hairs there, the hairs that were a sort of stubble. Draw it over the face again, it is smoother now, let it remove the lightest stubble that was left standing after the first onslaught.

Repeat.

And repeat again.

Then wash the remains of the foam out of the face.

Hear the wife outside the door, so leave.

She needs the bathroom too, there is only one.

And later, take a shower and get dressed.

The living room is big and quiet.

The cat is in the window.

The town is absolutely dead silent.

There is now a real fear of the virus.

messing about

It is cold now, even though the sky is bright. and clear of clouds. Anticyclonic weather is the way they used to describe it.
The cold does not suit the depression of not being able to move out of the house at all. The obligation to work, to work for an employer, has gone because of the virus, and it is increasingly difficult to find motivation to do other things.

There is a banging sound from the passageway leading through the house into the yard. That is the son, working on his antiquated old car. He got it free of costs, but it will cost a fortune to restore to legal functionality. And now he returns to the upstairs flat and informs that the gaskets on the cylinder heads were the wrong size.

Go downstairs, admire his work. He is enthusiastic, but see that there are countless things to be done. there are so many parts missing.

And as the fingers turn blue, help him by sweeping the floor, clear up all the flakes of rust that have fallen from the body of the car.


Return upstairs, return to feeling unwell, and cold, and miserable.
Wash the hands in the bathroom handbasin, the water does not flow properly into the waste outlet. This appears to have a blockage.

Take the bucket that is normally used for the mop, put it under the siphon of the sink and  unscrew the siphon. A stinking mass of soap and hair has got caught in there. Remove it, and reassemble the siphon. Now the waste pipe works.

There was water on the floor, and the feet were covered only in socks, no shoes. The feet are in those icy cold wet socks now, freezing. That was careless
What is wrong? The cold never used to be such a problem earlier.

It is.
now, so change the socks!
what a mess

nothing

awake in the dead of the early morning, no idea what it was or what it may have been, but now
-
well what now?
The core scourge of life has gone, there is no work, there is nothing to relax to.

Dark outside, the wife asleep loudly, and the bed is warm.
Go to the bathroom, that is cold, hurry back, look at the computer, England has locked up at last and that American seems to think of his country as a corporation and not as a people. That is what the computer says.

Go back to bed, it is dark.


It is light.
Get up.
There is the cat, awake, so turn on the coffee maker.
Clear the worktop, the son had made his midnight munchies mess there, leaving gooey stuff on the table surface
There is a loaf of baguette, from yesterday, wrapped up in a plastic bag to keep it soft, unwrap it, cut it open, butter it. A slice of cheese on top, that is a sort of breakfast. The coffee machine is hot now, disentangle the parts of the coffee grinder from the towels and things left there last night, reassemble it and press the button. It starts, then stops. There are coffee grounds caught behind the plastic receptable for receiving the ground coffee, and these prevent the little safety switch from closing.
Brush out those few grains, and replace the receptable. Now it works.

Tamp the resulting coffee grounds into the silver sieve, put the sieve into the machine, and there we go.

Coffee and a baguette.
Read the news again,
Things are bad, but words seem to be failing.
There is nowhere to go
There is nothing to be done.

the blanket was thin

There is silence over the town. That has so altered the sound background that envelopes the town in the morning that the silence is like a steady noise, a hole in the cloud of sound, a negative noise.
And awaken in the morning dark and cold to this intrusive silence.
Listen to the ticking of the watch.
Feel the pressure in the bladder.
Get up, go to the bathroom.
It really has got colder.
then wash hands
brush teeth.


A minty taste covers the dry taste of sleep, return to the bedroom. Do not switch on the light, do not wake the wife. There had been two blankets, now there is only one. To maintain peace in the home
think that one will do, and cover up with that.


Awaken later, the flat grey light coming in the window, a small patch of blue light visible up in the sky. And cold, the blanket was thin.


To the bathroom, resolve to take a shower, the hot water gives the body warmth. Return to the bedroom.
Clothes.

And then read the news.
Read the reports, read the opinion of the amateurs on facebook, read about bigotry, read the reports from the governments.
The situation has changed.

There are a few more cars under way today, exceptions, people who need to go to work, people taking the car to do their shopping.

But it is so quiet, the town is silent
in comparision

Enjoy that.

it is Sunday the 22 March today, and outside is bright and sunny.
And it is silent.
There are no cars.
There are no people on the street.
The church bells are silent.
The clocks in the room are loud.
And there in, the distant sound of a car, it fades away again.

The virus is about, and is the harbinger of covid-19, the disease that will kill some and will kill more if there is no one there to  help.

And people remain in their homes, many are maybe slyly catching up on the sleep that has not been granted to them by society.

Make a breakfast for one, the wife and the son had been up late, doing things important to them. The habit of a working week has driven the husband and father out of bed early, and
Stop that, just a cup of coffee, a slice of toast and butter. Put out some food for the cat.

And now it is eight thirty,  And it is so quiet, no sound but for the complaints of the bored cat, call her name, Miriam, she does her elegant cat wakj across the room, then nuzzles the leg of the chair, then the brown leather bag left on the floor by the son.
Then she stands in the centre of the room, her front paws together, angled outwards, her head to one side.
Just like the Pink Panther.
Same family, supposedly the creator of the Pink Panther modelled a cat, why not.

It is really quiet.
Enjoy that.

will never be the same again

awaken, and as the mind slowly becomes aware of realising anything, realise that nothing has changed from the same time yesterday, the place of work has been closed and that is that. All is much the same as it was yesterday, it is dark, it is cold and it is four in the morning. Go to the lavatory, and wash the hands, the face, and then brush the teeth, rinse out the taste of the night and of sleep. Wander out to the living room, picking up the computer on the way. Look at yesterdays data for the virus that is stopping the movement of the human world, see that it has spread, type the name of the American president, it seems as if either his business ideas will fail or else he will succeed in fooling the survivors of this world wide scourge. The truth will never be the same again.

and then, the thin night clothing proves insufficient to ward of the morning chill, return to the warm bed, for their is no need to hang about like this only half awake.

But a last look at the statiscs for these notes, see that there was a visitor from Portugal at four in the morning, or thereabouts. Other people in the world were awake too, at this early hour.

And then to bed.

Later, it is light, and there is silence outside.
Read more news.

The son awakens, tell him that he must get dressed, and not remain in his night clothes all day, in the decadent times of this viral epidemic.
Then the son returns to his room, hear the keyboard click

And that is that.

almost forgotten

first rites are important, do not get up and sit about in your sleeping clothes.
Get up, brush the teeth and consider what is to be done.
consider.
Suddenly  there is no work at work, and time is plenty on hand and
start cleaning the flat?

The authorities suggest that motion is to be restricted.
At twelve midday they say that no one may leave their house, their flat, or whatever their dwelling is as of midnight tonight.

Go out to the park for a walk with the family for the last time in two weeks and for the first time this year.

Clean the house about, do jobs that needed doing.
The time passes faster and these notes were almost forgotten

A virus does not

Thursday, 19th March.
Take a shower and shave the stubble off the face. There will be no visit to the barber for the next few weeks anyway, there is nothing to be done about that.

The cat is adapting to the novel situation, still, having so many people around during the day must be strange for an animal whose life is based on regularity, in a universe where food that would normally need to be  hunted appears on a plate after being scraped out of a tin.
She is currently looking for attention, rubbing her face on the furniture, licking, and sometimes chewing, plastic wiring. For whatever reason, the cat likes plastic, be it in the form of plastic bags or the coating of electrical wires.

It is nine in the morning, the sun is up, there is nothing in the email from work. It is strange, all that talk of home office, and there  is now work to be done. Just a steady wait, a wait for the pandemic to pass. The wife is in bed, the son is studying his computer.
It is a lovely morning outside,
Sit at the desk.
Would a walk be a good idea?
It would most likely. Just keep distant from other people, to avoid contagion.

The son comes into the bedroom, he asks whether or not going to the cafe would be a good idea.
Say that it would not.
So he makes a cup with the small machine.

And he goes back into his room.
and now it is nine thirty, the news has been read, the asinine comments on social media are noted, and the worldwide finger pointing, pointing in all directions, but never at themselves. All the anglophone countries talking about "war rooms" and using military jargon to describe an epidemic, imposing martial law as a sign that their ability to lead their people through a crisis is limited to antagonism and deal making. A virus does not give a shit for your antagonism and it does not make deals.

home

the strumming again, at six and it dark.
This is the second day of isolation on account of the pandemic, the virus that is like a ball  with small growths upon it.

Turn it off and return to bed. The news had come in yesterday that in the meanwhile the university had been completely closed but for a chosen few.

Very good for lazy old men.

Go back to bed, this cannot be true.
Awaken again with the blue light coming in through the bedroom window, and resolve to get up, to put the clothes on and look at the news, make sure that there are no further messages from work.

Read the news, the western world is closing it's doors. Even the British have realised that a stiff upper lip will not help here.  Oh dear.

Wash, and then sit down and read.
It is too early to do things that might be noisy.
The family is asleep.
The wife, and the son are both quiet.

excuse

the alarm clock sounds, that strumming sound from the tablet, the computer that holds the alarm clock and all those other things, those applications.
Get up and put a finger on the screen at the appropriate spot, the strumming stops. Start to move, go to the bathroom, then remember. The corona virus precautions are in effect. There is no work to go to now, not today and not untill further notice. What can be done? Well, go back to bed. There is no point in hanging about in the flat in the dark, it is just as easy to go to bed and rest untill the morning darkness is past and the day begins.

oh well

Return from the morning's shower, the warmth from the water remains in the body. That is pleasant, open the drawer in the wardrobe, take out the socks and the pants and put them on, balancing there standing on one foot with one hand on the wardrobe. Then the other foot.

There is no need for an undershirt today, the day will be warm. Then put on the trousers and the shirt. the ones worn yesterday. Today will be a quiet day at work, the corona virus and the fear of covid 19 will keep all the colleagues at home. Without specific instructions there should be no risk involved in going to work, there is never any contact with people anyway.

The coffee from the machine disassembled, cleaned, and rebuilt yesterday is good. The pressure system works again as it should, the residues of coffee had choked up all the tiny plastic levers and  steel springs. Now, the pressure may build up again, blow out the little stopper and the coffee will have its creamy topping.

There are few people on the streets today, it is early. There are policemen leaving the station, and others returning. That is possibly the change from night shift to day shift. It is all work.

The traffic on the road is definitely quieter than usual.

The motorway traffic flows steadily.

And at work, there is not a soul to be seen, but for a man checking the function of the fire doors.

The virus precautions are in place.

Later on, the supervisor is on the telephone from his home, he says that there is no need to appear at work.

The order is: "Remain at home, and keep an eye on the email account."

Oh well.

misconception

up with the light in the morning, there is no need to stay in bed, there is a call from Nature too, a need to go to cette lieu, or the loo, an urge after a night spent asleep. The floor in the bathroom is ice cold, it was a mistake to have it done cheaply when the house was rebuilt.

Return to the bedroom, nothing has changed.
The cat is wandering about.
The wife is asleep, snoring.
Be silent, do not wake the family.

The cat has jumped onto the chair by the desk, that is where the computer is. She knows that her human will sit down there and then she may rest on his knees and he will stroke her head and relieve the tension in her shoulders.
Put on a pullover over the night clothes.
Sit down carefully, do not sit on the cat.
Quickly and gracefully she is on those warm knees, her head away from the humans body. Touch her back and the furry neck. She starts to purr, steadily.
Cat's like regular things, things that happen every day.

Turn on the computer, read about presidents and the virus, and see that the reaction to this threat is the same as the reaction to all threats. The resident xenophobes and racists appear, delighted to be able to blame others again. Close the borders, and live on regardless.
Shake the head and go on shaking hands.

So long as they have the wherewithal to wipe their own arses. A big concern, seemingly. Forgive this, for it must be a misconception!

The cat had jumped down, go and take a cup of coffee from the machine in the kitchen. Sit down again, and the cat returns.
This time there is no grace in her manner of climbing onto the human knees. She extends her claws and digs them into the legs covered in the thin cloth of the night clothes. Then she heaves herself up onto those knees with the main force of her front legs, driving those claws through the cloth and into the flesh. She is quite a heavy cat. And it is quite painful.

But the cat does not care, she does not feel the pain.
She settles down and purrs.

Cat Ok.

attic

There was a time awake at five, it was still dark outside.
Now it is light, and it is nine, and it is Saturday.

All is well, the bed is warm.

Get up, put on day clothing, and make a small breakfast, just for one. The cat is attentive, but all she gets is her head stroked.

In the cold hallway, pick up the plastic chest of wet clothing, washed yesterday, but not brought up to the attic because of the lack of lighting up there. Now that it is daylight, go on up to hang up those clothes. The attic is long, and dimly lit by two windows and some glass tiles. The flooring is partly rotten, old planks now over one hundred years old, planks that give way if carelessly stepped on.
There is an old medical trolley up there, that is good to put the plastic contairner on, Wheel it all the way down to the bottom end of the attic, there are clothes lines stretched all the way from back to front of the attic.

Start to hang the clothing up, still heavy and damp, cold now after having spent all night in the hallway.

The clothes will dry over the weekend, and then they can be put back into the wardrobe.
All the T shirts and jeans.

All ready for the next early starts, about another three hundred days of work.

A long time.

Then take the empty chest down, with two towels that had been hanging up there and were dry.

Put the chest by the bed.
Put the towels on the hook beside the bathtub.


Make another cup of coffee.

brake

friday, 13Th March, 2020

There is a traffic stoppage on the glipraaa

Cars that had been accelerating are now doing

the opposite. The line of stopped cars is being elongated counter to the direction of the traffic astonishingly fast.

Brake, Brake hard, floor the brakr pedal. Hear the sound of tyres squalling from behind.

Close up on the car in front.

Then the long line of cars moves on again. The truck that had broken down at the end of the acceleration strip has moved off-to one side.

Its all back to normal again.

Later on, cruise behind a fast truck.

Maybe the slipstream is helping to save fuel.

Who knows.

black smart

Close the red door, leave the building, walk down the alley to the bigger road. The early cars are rushing by, huge things each with one driver and no passengers on board. Size is an important status symbol these days.
Cross the main street at the memorial, that sad ugly sculpture placed in the middle of the road. The little side alley, always picturesque in the morning, mostly quite deserted, walk on . Round the corner and out onto the gravel-covered square with the church in it's centre. There, one hundred metres on, is the black Smart car, parked between a black Japanese sports utility vehicle and a black Mercedes saloon car.
There is an orange dumpster busy in the street, There is a man collecting yellow bags, the ones filled with packaging waste. The big vehicle is blocking the street, it is impossible to pass, and as it is a one way street, reversing out is illegal.
Roll along slowly, as the men, the driver and the loader, finish their work.

Follow the road around the park, finally to take a right and enter the tunnel, the one that goes under the hill with the castle, setting the cruise control to the speed limit, there is no rushing or overtaking in the tunnel. It is not allowed, and there are cameras everywhere too.

At the end of the tunnel the traffic lights are just green, the car ahead accelerates around the corner at high speed.
And leave the town, just drifting along the road, wishing that the steering was automatic too.

it is good that there is a cat

Wed, 11th of Hamh 2020

There is nothing today. Get up, go to the

bathroom, miss, shower, brush the tenth

brush the hair, dress in fresh underwear

but otherwise yesterday's clothing-Turn

on the coffee maker, sit down at the

foldable desk.. Look at the news onthe

computer, it is all coronavirus and presidential elections. The cat jumps onto the knees and holds her head out to be scratched.

give the little feline head a rub.

A loud purr in return.

Read the directive from the chancellor of the university about the coroner virus

They are attempting to restrict movement.

They are attempting to reduce costs.

The whole thing is just a belated copy and paste, they have no concept.

Then get up, make a cup of coffee, hear

The sound of one of the sons alarm clocks

"And then- well- put on the coat, leave

the family in bed, the cat is on some business of her own.

stroke

Twe, 10th March 2020

The worktop is a mess again today, the

son has been making coffee and toast for

his breakfast. He is moving around, quite

oblivious to the disapproving glares and

stares of his father.

Tell him to remove his things, if he

makes such a revolting mess he should

clean it up too. He moves the things.

away, over to the other worktop, and builds

a small heap of greasy cutlery.. Then he

says that he is in a hurry. He is on his way to school.

So put the things into the dishwasher, yester­day's plates and pots. Put a tab into the

machine, start that dishwasher.

Seconds later, the door to the bedroom is slammed

shut. The noise produced by the dishwasher has

disturbed the wife's sleep.

The son leaves the house on his way to school.

Leave the house, there is an appointment at

half past eight at the credit people. 

Walk there, walk down the street. Look into the

building's window, all is dark in the office.

Wait. Ten minutes later, the man arrives

in a big show off car. He is visibly tired. He

tells the story that his mother had a stroke in

the night.

Commiserate.
And then to business.

group photo

Eleven forty two, put on the badge, pick up the heavy case, put the tripod in it's bag over the left shoulder. Close the door to the office, press the button on the circular transponder.

Pass through the central hall of the faculty, and leave by the big glass front doors. There is the new reactor, and the old one side by side, but there is no need to go there today. Take a left turn and walk along by the fence securing these dens of atomic inquiry. Just around the corner there is an entrance, into the official reception building. There, in the small reception area a picture is to be made of  those fifteen people and a few guests who will decide on the course of the establishment.
Go in through the small revolving door, there is no security on this side.

Horror.

The floor has been opende up to repair some drains, there is a hole and a cordoned-off area precisely where the camera is supposed to stand. Why did nobody mention this?
Maybe there were other things to be done.


Look at the mess and think about it for a few minutes

Remove the plastic barriers by pushing them to one side.
Move the a bench over the hole in the ground, it will be possible to stand upon it.
Then carfully place the tripod.
Move things around a bit, untill the viewpoint is such that the background is level. That should be in order. It might just work. Go and ask the people behind the container to turn off the blue lights, they are there for decoration, but they cause a really revolting skin colour on the photographs that is hard to remove.

And then look into the conference room through the window, there are the fifteen people, count them just to be sure. They are  only fifteen.

Spend some time readjusting the position of the cameras. They are always late, they always have a little more to talk about, it always takes longer.

Half an hour later, they come out, beg them to form a group, two rows, the women to the front, mainly because they are not as tall as the men. The director is very tall, he is used to having to go to the back of the group. Check that all the heads are visible.
take one picture.
ask for a relaxed and friendly smile, just natural you know .
Thank you ladies and gentlemen thank you for your patience.

Bit effusive, but if they don't love that is their problem.
They are all off to the buffet now.

Take down the tripod , pack the camera away, replace the barriers, thank the people who work here for turning off the lights.
The picture

is OK

A
group
just
like
the
last
time.

Take the camera back to the office.
lunch will be late today.

messy messy messy

Sunday morning unhappiness, nothing is working the way it could.

It is nine in the morning the kitchen is a mess, everything just scattered on the worktop. Things like knives sticky with chocolate spread, ofhte knives balance otn the edge of counters, they slimy with butter. The coffee grinder is dismantled at the back of the table, just three parts, the grinder itself, the container for the ground coffee, and the lid for the container of the ground coffee. The special spoon for filling the coffee sieve is just lying about on the table.

Just where the last person making coffee left it.

There are empty chocolate wrappers and plasti packaging material from something. Also the outer packaging of a packet of biscuits. A greasy saucepan, matching the two frying pans on the hob, complete the picture.

Gather all the plastic parts and wrappers and things that are scattered on the work surface and put them into the yellow plastic sack that is hung over the control knob of the radiator in the corner of the kitchen. Pick up the sticky cutlery and put it all into the dishwasher, into the basket for dirty cutlery. Gather the pans and the pots and find a space in the dishwasher for them as well. The cutting boards join the pots in the dishwasher, along with a few spoons that had been hiding on the work surface underneath wrappers and things. A few cups visible there now, they are for the dishwasher too. A crust of bread, into the bowl for dried bread

Reassemble the coffee grinder.

Put the old paper wrappers into the container for old paper wrappers.

Pick up the plastic washup bowl, it is under the sink.

Put in some water and some washing up liquid, that should cut the grease on the cooker and on the table. Rinse a wiping cloth under the tap, and wash down the work surface with it, tip the grids on the gas cooker up and clear the grease from the cooking surface. Think about using spirts to wipe this down, then think about there being open flames from the cooker.

Perhaps a bad idea.

This is just a hateful way to stard the day.

Clearing up the mess , the untidiness that need not have taken place.

The kitchen looks a little better afterwards.

The sack full of onions thrown into the corner beside the table will stay.

Who cares.

whocares

why care

it is all shit 

headache and dizziness.

the son is up and reasdy to go , it is suturday, it is eight in the morning.
Put on a coat and leave the house with him, walk down the deserted streets.
In the town most of the parking spots are free today, this is unusual. There are very few people on the streets, perhaps it is for fear of that virus, the one with the many stalks.

The café is quiet as well. A cup of coffee, a coffee with milk, and two buttered pretzels, that is the order for today. Sit at the window seat, look out, there is the warriors monument outside, a reminder of the fallen in two wars. As if there had been no others.
The son talks about his moped, and the things that he needs to get for it. Listen, and marvel at how much he knows.

It is raining today, leave the cafe behind and walk down the wet street. As far as the next red pedestrian traffic light, and wait for the green walking man to appear..

The shop in the basement of the shopping mal is empty too. They are sold completely out of toilet paper, this is strange. It has something to do with the potential epidemic. The son laughs, the sight of the empty pallets on the floor amuses him.

The dizziness is increasing, wander about the supermarket, make the purchases, and leave again.

draft

Friday, 6. March 2020

Leaving the town in the small black car, still before the final lights have been reached catch up with a huge truck, a big square container on bard. At the lights, wait, and then watch it pull away before following. It accelerates at high speed, the tiny black car cannot keep up. But it does not matter. At ninety kilometres an hour the truck does not accelerate any more. That is more than it's legal limit. So just cruise along closely behind it, cruise control on, radio playing classical music. Slow down for a building site, the driver is careful, there is a small diversion. Then speed up again, he pulls away. Turn the cruise control back on again, the small black car catches up slowly.
slow down for the roundabout, stay really close behind the truck as it crawls around the hindrance, then it speeds away again. Same procedure, cruise control, let the automatic systems do the work.
One more traffic light, and then the slip road for the motorway.  The truck speeds away again, follow all the way down the motorway. The speedometer is still, the engine speed indicator is still, only the indicator for diesel level in the tank goes down. This symbiosis, the long draft ends

at the slip road for Freising-Nord.

The little car leaves for the slip road, the

huge truck keeps on the motorway.

Then, see it brake, it's warning lights

go on. Slip by on the left, that is what

slip roads are for. The truck is still visible in

the mirror, slowing down for the traffic

jam  up ahead, lights flashing. Follow the

slip road, up to the junction. Passing over

the bridge, see the motorway down below,

a sea of red lights, the trafic towards

Munich come to a complete standstill.

Carry on down the road, the traffic

lights are green, cruise on.

Suddenly, the car ahead stops and

slows down. There is a Truck standing

in the centre of the road. The car is

just stopped there, it is big and wide.

Drive past, squeeze past the truck.

Then realise that this was a deliberate

manoevre on the part of the truck

driver to block the traffic so that his

colleagues could back their track, a yellow

affair with a trailer, out of a side

road.

so wait, anyway.

early

15h 5 March 2020 Lie in bed, it is nothing but dark, deep night black, in the middle of the town and all, there is no light coming in through the window, the sky is obscured. And wide awake, for no reason. Turn to the one side, then the other. It cannot be morning yet, it is too dark. look at the paled hands of the watch, the luminous paint is still emanating some light. It is twenty to three. At first, think of a quarter past seven, but that is impossible. So lie there, almost half an hour. Feel that the face is rough with stubble. If it is not possible to sleep, then shave. go to the bathroom, have a piss first. Put some cleansing powder into that ceramic

bowl, there are lime deposits and worse down there. The powder starts to fizz, it is a reaction, of sorts. There is now a strong smell of hygiene material in the bathroom. Take the shaving cream, let the water run hot, put the cream on the face, and shave away the stubble of the last few days. Then clean up the wash hand basin. Take the computer, go to the kitchen make a cup of coffee, and read about American politics. and that virus, which is causing havoc with the stock market. Make a second cup.

dog

Wed, 4 March, 2020

Leave in the dark, the sun has not risen yet, and neither has the son, after his late night yesterday. The streets are still quite empty of people. Pass the small baker's shop, The shopkeeper inside is getting her wares ready for the

day. The window is quite steamed up, it is hot and damp inside and cold outside. Take the small small side alley, alone in the lamplight. The streetlights are styled just the gas lamps here, of course they are all electrical. Walk across the gravel of the small park, hear the stones crunch underfoot. There is the small black car, make the lights flash with the remote control in the key. Carefully walk around the grass patch, and keep to the path. Crossing the grass in the dark can provoke a nasty encounter of the smelly kind. There are many dog owners here, and the dogs have to go somewhere. i get into the car, start the engine, There is a nasty noise from the front. One windscreen wiper has come adrift.
Stop the engine.
Reattach the wiper.

light

Tue, 3.3.20
Late leaving the building, the red door slams.

There is the blue bin for the paper, put out in front of the house yesterday, it is full, but the lid is properly closed. Farther down the road, there is a pile of old cardboard boxes in front of indoor, sodden in the rain. The people living in the house ahroasly do not have a blue tin. Farther down the alley, there is a bhelin with a large pile of equally sodden packaging materials beside it. The line was not large enough a Walk on, ran the back entrance to The police station cross the road. An

orange dump truck roads the chutes Iony There are two men standing on a ptatfon atthe lack of the track, both dressed in orange high visibility overalls. They are the men from the waste disposal company coming to collect the paper in the blue bins for recycling. will they bother to ride up the loose waste cardboard boxes, all wet and at the side of the road. soggy The street lights go out, there is plenty of light from the early morning sky to see by.

only a note

monday, 2 March 2020

On this first day of work after a week at home.

leave the house, it is twenty to seven. It is

bright, and the weather is dry. Walk down

the Neustadt street, passing the shisha shop

and the producer of strange beers. There

is the baker, open since six.

And rhe

ice cream shop, that will open tater on

in the

year.

Take the right down the small alley,

here a woman has stopped her ear

diagonally on the road. She gets out

and unhooks the chain blocking her

entrance. She says good morning.

Walk on

, and there is the small black

car.

An feeling of alarm that starts

as soon as the small piece of paper tucked

into the windshield becomes

visible.

Read the note that some angry fellow

motorist has written. The note claims

'parking is not your greatest strength".

So what. The car was parked legally

between the markings drawn on the road

for that purpose. Remember that there had

been a very large black car on the space to

the left. The note was unsigned.

Another driver has noticed that the space will be free soon. He is waiting, he is blocking the narrow street. unlock the car, get in, start the engine, operate the rear windscreen wiper,

reverse out into  headlight's blinding light of the waiting car.

Put the car into gear, turn on the

headlights and proceed, proceed as vtamea

The car's engine rumbles, the diesel

motor is cold, the cobbles rumble.

There is no wish to go to work today.

an optical zero

Awake at six, the cat making croaking noises, it wants the human to open the door.

Because it cannot, it being a cat.

Open the door

Hear the cat flap flop in the hall seconds later

Like on so many other days.

Turn on the computer, see if there is any other news, anything new.

Nothing really.

go back to bed, enjoy the warmth, relax, look at the window and the rough plasterwork around them, the character of the stonework, the reflection from the old glass windows outside, all distorted. Modern glass is perfection, plane and parrallel, an optical zero. 

It is cheaper too.

and two hours later,  look up at the lightened sky through the window, the windows that will need cleaning soon.

In the kitchen, so carefully cleaned the day before yesterday, the mess is back again. Take a fresh cup of hot coffee back into the bedroom.

What the hell

go back to bed

there is nothing worth staying up for anyhow