the night deep black dark

there were two pills last night to kill the cough that caused a lack of sleep.
the night sheer black with traces of dreams remembered in the morning to the uncontrolled sound of the son's alarm clock. And then back into bed it is still dark.
Further, more, deep black sleep, a silence in the mind, a death of memory, nothing but traces of dreams.
What pills are these that the doctor ordered? They were supposed to subdue a cough.
Look them up in the web, later.

The head feels bloated, like wrapped in cotton wool
It is light, it is eight in the morning, get up make some coffee.
The machine makes horrible noises becaus of a lack of water.
The wife complains.
Close the door.
Sit at the sitting room table.
Read the news from the computer.
Insipid stuff, the head feels as if it is tumbling.
Still fixed to the neck, knock knock the blood in the veins.
What is wrong?
The son comes in.
He wants to go to the café,
Suggest that it would be important to get dressed for the day.
Agreement.

What pills are these that leave the head all padded and the night deep black dark like

nothing

cool right foot

silence, there is no sound in the house, even though it is early.
then sly sounds slip into hearing, a steady vibration, that is the cat, purring to herself in the bed, there is the thirty second signal from those french factory clocks, all old and no longer built.
Clocks with those functions take their time signals from decaying caesium somewhere in Germany, transmitted-by-radio signals that are so accurate that you could set the stars in sky by them.
If you wanted.
Get up, it is chilly.
The silence is the due to the sons spending the night with a group of friends

It is chilly, read the news, Trump is trying to adjust political set screws, and ends up just making silly statements, as if he was talking to a crowd of cronies in a parlour and not trying to reassure people who had entrusted him with their votes and the power to rule their lives.

The chill is nasty.

Get up, go and have a nice warm shower.
return from the bathroom, put on the clothes, clean-feeling fresh underwear is a pleasant thing.

Sit down, pull a sock over the left foot.
The cat jumps onto the knees, and lies down.
The left foot is warm, the right foot has no sock.
And the cat is happily purring, holds her head up, fondle her head, leave her there. Experiencing the cat's pleasure is more important than covering a cool right foot.

Read more news, Syria, Turkey and Russia. Thirty soldiers dead, all in the line of some dictators work.

Put the cat down onto the ground.

It is time for a hot drink and a slice of bread.

The cat is being attentive again, so take up her plate and put some cat food onto it from the tin in the fridge. The cat feeds.
And now to get on with the rest of the day......................

bug

the cat comes into the room, a single bound and onto the chair and a second bound onto the window sill. Looks out of the window, turns, the flexible back a horizontal arch, sits, the front paws side by side facing outward.
Just like the Pink Panther.
A figure modelled on a type of cat.
The cat is not pink, she is a tawny mixture of red white and brown.
She jumps down onto the chair, looks up.

?

Pick her up.
Sit down.
Put her onto the knees.

Flop.
Lies down.
curls up.
Purrs.

Scratch her head.

Hear the tinnitus, the throat is itching and the head is heavy, slightly dizzy, the eyes unfocused.
But the cat knows nothing of this.

The rest of the family sleeps.

Continue to pet her, the fur feels good on the hands.

What is this bug of the past weeks?

neighbour and builder

the doorbell rings, it is eight in the morning, go downstairs, open the door. The neighbour and his builder of choice are outside the door, they were expected.
They are there to survey the crack in the wall of the neighbours house, a crack only visible from the back yard.
So let them in.
They both look.
The builder makes suggestions for closing the crack.
Listen.
Amazing.
Surely that will never work.
But keep quiet, perhaps it is just that the neighbour wants to save money and is looking for a cheap jop. The two men look at the crack, tell them about the attempts made by the neighbours tenant last year to block the crack in the wall with plaster and building foam.
It cracked again.
So let them be, let them go.
It will cause trouble in the summer with coming and going.
They pass the sons cars, make comments about it.
See them out.

This will just be trouble, down the line.

mess

the kitchen is a disaster, wot the brihish would coal a combat zone.
Culinary Combat Zone.
The son has been cooking, baking, preparing pastry, All used items are resting in the position where last used, used at the time that the battle paused.
There is a glass storage jar of crumble pastry, the result of what must have been quite some work.

Turn on the coffee machine, the principal joy of the morning, the preparation and consumption of a strong black brew. The coffee grinder is pushed back on the table, behind some flour-powdered crockery. Remove the plastic container from the machine, find the coffee spoon combined with the stamper in another corner of the worktop, and fill the little silver sieve.

Make the first cup of coffee of the day, giving but perfunctory attention to the cat, which seems desirous of more notice and food.

Return to the bedroom, sip the coffee-
The sons alarm sounds.
and sounds.
and does not stop.

It does not seem to disturb him in the slightest.
Beep Beep is the high digital plastic noise that it makes.
A noise hard to locate, but a noise that still manages to penetrate solid stone walls.

Go in to his room, call him. Tell him to turn the thing off.
He climbs down from the bed, turns of the alarm clock, and climbs back up again.
Not a word spoken. There are so many buttons on the complicated radio alarm.
But he knows which one to press.

Make another cup of coffee.
It is holiday time.

So there is no need to go to work
There is no need to go to school

Yesterday was spent cleaning up debris
Go downstairs, inspect the passages and the yard.
There is more order there now.
but still a long way to go.

a week's holidays.

The cat needs to leave the warm bedroom, calls for a human to open the door, She calls again, she varies the tone and the call.

After a while get up and let her out, hear the cat flap flapping.

then go on to the bathroom 

Today is the day that the son is to be brought to work to collect a printer and a few computers that are not needed any more, but he will have a use for them.

He is still in bed fast asleep, up on his high bed.

call him. A tired face surrounded

 by tousled red hair looks down.

Remind him of the impending journey.

Eyes roll.

Make coffee in the kitchen, wait

Hear the ladder down from the bed creak.

The son comes round the corner, through the kitchen.

He is still asleep, practically speaking.

But he knows the way to the bathroom.

Read the news in the bedroom at the little secretary cabinet.

Then the son is ready

So off down the stairs, up the alley, around the corner to the wife's big car.

It has more space, that is good.

Off to work, even though today is the first day of a week's holidays.

careless

It is light outside, light grey is the colour dominating, the walls the sky and the glass that reflects these things. The colours are desaturated, and pale.
Sunday morning, put on the clothes, make coffee and leave the building. There is no wish to take a shower, there is no wish at all.
For anything.
The door closed behind walk down the street, there are persons wandering about lost looking, there is nothing to do today. Walk down the street to one of the pay parking spots used last night when the whole town was filled with people in from the country, all hanging out in those local establishments providing the weeks entertainment. Get into the car, and drive down the street, the rumbling sound from the tyres on the cobble stones loud, competing with the tiny diesel engine..
Take the right away from the cobbled street, smooth tar now, stop at traffic lights. There ahead is the signs advertising the filling station, the place to replenish the tank after yesterdays long drive.
Look at the meter whilst filling the car, then there is a splashing sound.
The automatic cutoff did not work properly, and there is diesel wasted from the full tank, dripping down the side of the car and running over the pavement of the filling station.
That was a silly thing to do, careless.

lovely day

waken
make coffee
think.
The son is off on a weekend camp, just Friday Saturday and the first half of Sunday.

The wife asleep.

The cat demanding attention.

read the mail.
somebody to go and visit today, a dear friend from long ago.

Go for a shower, get dressed

and getting clothed in the bedroom, the front door bell rings go down barefoot in a hurry.
It is the neighbour, he says eight o'cklock on a wednesday with a building firm.
To look at a crack in the wall to his house.
Still barefoot wish him well and agreee.

Goodbye.

Go up to the bedroom, get dressed,
gather the bag, downstairs, leave the house. Talk to the accountant in her office, the tenant accountant.
Inform her of the death of the neighbours tenant.
Shock and surprise, she had not heard.
He was such a nice man.
Now so dead.

That is why the neighbour who owns the house wants to have it repaired.
Go on, it is time to do the morning shopping.
For Saturday.

And it is a lovely day.

like a gaggle

Friday 21st  February 2020

The flags in the square are all at half mast today,

the bavarian blue and white and the german

national flag. Eleven people were murdered

yesterday, in Hanau.

It had nothing to do with hookah pipes.

The cafe, all is early today, the owner

is still getting his things ready for the day.

And students are still moving around

the campus in groups, as they do every

day.

A group comes in

to the cafe, they stand at the counter

making their orders, all

laughing, all happy. A few minutes later they

are all at one of the big tables, with their

little plastic discs with the LED lights on them

placed on the table in front of them.

When the pizzas are ready, these discs

will start to make a beeping sound, or

a little green led will start to flash. That

will be the summons for the people to collect

their pizzas.

They will sound like a gaggle of birds,

all moving off with Their cheeping

devices in search of their food.

more than tobacco

Thursday, 20 February, 2020

The cat calls, a mee-ow every few seconds.

She wants to leave the room. get up out of

bed and over to the door in the dark, depress

the handle, and let the cat out into the cold

corridor. There is a rattle from the cat door

to the balcony, close the bedroom door again,

the cat will be back later. Look at the time on the tablet, see that there are five minutes to go.
Sit down, read.

Ten dead in Hanau,

a shi sha smoking

hookah club, first one, then another, then

death at home. This is unusual in Germany,

perhaps it will be possible to learn more

later. Maybe there is a hookah mafia, or

something. Or else there was more than tobacco

in the pipe.

The alarm sounds from the tablet, press

the on-screen button, the touchscreen button

that is small, underneath the touchscreen

button that says "snooze".

Go to the bathroom, the cat uses the oppurrtunity to come back in. Take a piss, then, after the

water has run hot, take a shower. And after

that, back into the bedroom to be greeted by

a cat that seems agitated, but is probably

just hungry.

looked like a painting

Wednesday 19. February, zozo

The underground train has arrived, and

a never seeming to end line of students

emerges from the underground railway

station.

The panini is finished, it was pleasantly

textured today. The coffee is good, as it is every day. Every day, the same.

In the corner of the cafe, a woman with a red pullover and blue jeans sits at a table opposite a large woman in a white cotton shirt with black trousers. They are both in earnest conversation

Then they get up, theone with the red pullover and the bluejeans puts on a red jacket, the one with the white top

puts on a Kkhahi one. The one has black hair, The other has reddish.

Watch them walk across the patio outside the building, to head off to the Engineering

department. Or to the reactor, it does not matter. The one with the red hair looked familiar, the other looked like a painting.

There is a man sitting at a table,

back to a window, studying his 'phone.

He is drinking a cup of coffee and a bottle of pop.

taxpayer money

At eight, late, the news on the car radio, turn into the parking spot.
The son never realised that to be there at eight he would have to leave the house at seven.
Not a quarter past.
At five past eight he leaves the car, and runs through the university.
Don't bother to telle him that it does not matter.
 Watch him rush, walk over the wet lawn to the glass entrance way, check in, pass the pendulum swaying away to itself
Climb the stairs that circle around the pendulum.
cross the covered bridge with the small round windows to the left and right.
And then, that is all

back in work, not a lot to do
Really, there is nothing to be done
So set up a dummy for a flyer that may be needed.
In the afternoon, learn that the flyer will be made by somebody else.

So what, the time is paid for.

lights out in the morning

Get up in the morning, early, to the strumming sound of the alarm on the tablet. Take a shower and return to the bedroom to search for the day's clothes in the wardrobe.

See that the light in the kitchen is onm there is light creeping in under the door. The son is awake, getting ready. He has a weeks work experience at the university. For a week he will go to work with his father. Go into the kitchen, grind coffeem and prime the small espresso machine. Take the cup back into the bedroom, sit down and read the mail and the news that comes with it. Read about the American fear of chinese computer systems. And read about the chinese methods for dealing with that novel virus.

Then the son is readym and both go out into the bright morning. The days are getting longer, and on the way to the car the street lights are turned off.

Later on on the motorway, follow a car transport truck. The son identifies the cars and explairs their new style of control system. At the turnoff for the airport the truck with it's cars turns off. There are another twenty kilometres to go.

losing

awake, things are better. It was a long rest, maybe that was all that was missing.
Sit and read the news in the silence of Sunday morning, the family is asleep.
The cat reaches up, makes eye contact, tenses her hind legs and leaps up onto the knees. She does not use her claws today.
She holds out her head, fondling it seems the right thing to do.
She starts to purr, she puts her chin down on those big soft warm human legs and purrs.

Perhaps a happy cat.

Purrhaps

There is the sound of piano playing from the sitting room, the son has risen, and that is the first thing that he does. Then he stops, comes in and asks should he make dumplings for breakfast.
Well, and why not?

Hear the sound of pans and crockery.

Move to the table in the sitting room with the laptop, make a cup of coffee on the way.

He has set the table, the matching cups from France.

There is a bowl of steaming dumplings there now, the small kind with a sort of cream cheese filling.
Nice.


The wife comes out of the bedroom, she still seems sleepy, and then when all are at the table the Sunday breakfast begins.

The wife complains of a headache, confirms that she has already taken a pill to treat it,
She goes back to bed.
The son returns to the piano
clear up the crockery, fill the dishwasher, insert a detergent tab in the designated place, press the appropriate buttons.

Write these notes on the computer, resolve to clear up the messy stuff in the yard today.
This is a losing battle.

saturday post, nothing

there is no awakening early today, just feel the weakness that comes with Saturday, the knowledge that there is no duty to be done but to oneself.
Bed is a warm place, and sleep is good.
It is eight.
The first time awakening was four, and it was dark then..
Get up, get dressed, go tho the kitchen, make a cup of coffee.
The details of what is planned will not form yet.

The coffee is in order, cleaning and descaling the small machine yesterday was a good idea.

Remember that the small package is to be prepared today, get ready to send it , spend time looking for sticky tape to seal it with.
Sticky tape is nowhere to be found. The son is up, he starts to search for it as well.
Finally, under the table holding the wife's computer, there it is.
done.

And then prepare for the weeks visit to the café. at the corner.
But bring the package to the mail first.

groups

Friday, 14th February 2020

this is the last working day this week, and

it is a day that is so much like any other

day that it is hard to see anything that

might be worth writing about.

It is a warm, grey day

, wet.

The concrete and grey metal buildings

blend into the sky.

The students are all wearing dark clothes

They walk around in groups formed by

the trains, and

the busses that they all travelled

in. They leave the buddings at lectures

end in the groups that they listened in.

Out in the plaza at lunch, a constant too

and fro.

Today's panino is finished, the cup of

coffee too.

Outside, it starts to rain.

Passers-by put up their heads and

run.

Go out, take a picture of the roads

glistening wet.

scraper

Thursday, 13h of February 2020

Pass all the cars on the street, walk past, look at the frozen

water on the windshields

look at the frozenwater on the windshields

The ice is in the form of droplets, quite unusual

There is the tiny car, the windshield white.

Press the button bottom right, on the

circular key and the lights blink, the

doors unlock.  Klack!

Put the bag, and the pair of new

windscreen wipers onto the passenger

seat, reach for the plastic ice scraper

and use the serrated edge to break the

ice coating on the windschield, and the

plastic blade to remove

the ice. It takes

five minutes for the windscreen to be clear

of ice.

get in, turn on the engine, the lights,

press the brake and put the machine

into gear.

. Sometime further on, the windows

fog over, turn the heater on

-Avoid a nearly invisible cyclist, he is driving riding along with no lights. Wearing dark clothes too.

Long after the town has been left behind, the tiny car's automatic gear system fails at a traffic light.
Roll the car from the road, stop the engeine. Start the engine. Put the car into gear. Modern car reboot, software glitch.

barber

Wednesday, February 12, 2020

The son passes by on his bicycle heading for school. He is wearing a white cyclists helmet and his long red hair swirls out from underneath the white plastic over his shoulders. He is in a hurry, speeding along on the cobbles.
There is the c arm get in m and clip the telephone to the magnetic clip. It is showing a small map, illustrating the way to the hairdressers, the barbers.

Go up the stairs, the gong sounds as the door opens. There are two hairdrdssers working there, at the barbers chairs on the left. The one has a balding man it it, the other an elderly woman getting her hair set in curlers. The woman who usually cut the hair is sick in bed today so another one offers to do the work, everything is in order. Sit down and wait, read an article about progress in atomic reactor construction in a  popular science magazine.

Later, sitting in the chair, listen to the barber talking about Greta Thunberg, she does not like her. Remain silent, field the questions, all the time aware that those incredibly sharp scissors are only millimetres away from eyes and ears.

there is somebody missing

Tuesday, February 11, 2020
Leave the car beside the tree, that is the place where it is always parked, that is the place where it will be found this evening.
Walk across the wet and muddy grass and in through the glass door set into a wall of glass bricks.
Hold the chip under the reader, the reader beeps and says that there are minus three hours on the work account. Hurry on to the lavatory around the corner, the journey was longer than usual, an dthe breakfast coffee seems stronger.
The office is the same, start the computer, get the password wrong. Try again, get it right.

There are the parts for the antique  globe of the world in the bag, a small mechanical part is broken.
Go down to the fitter who works in the shops in the basement. He looks over the pars, and frowns and thinks. A precise  man, nothing he makes is wrong. A machinist who is used to many figures behind the decimal point.

At lunchtime, go to the crazy Bean cafe, and the manager is there, alone, furious, his assistant is not there today.

He is abusive and apologetic at the same time. He tells all around that he is alone today, and that everything will take more time to prepare.

But he remains friendly in between his bouts of shouting and moaning.

storm

Monday February 10, 2020

.......and there is a sudden gust, the car jumps to the side, correct the steering. There is a storm, a shower of acorns passing an oaktree rattle on the windscreen.

There are nervous drivers under way today, they do not know storms well here, slow down for the gusty wind.

About to pass under a bridge, a cloud of grit and small stones showers down. They had been used to provide grip on the overpass, so that cars would not slip, the overpass frozen last week. Now the grit comes down onto the Autobahn, peppering the passing cars

A fully loaded truck passes, the plates say that it is from Romania. It is going far more than the speed limit, the driver may not be feeling the wind so much because of the weight of his vehicle. He overtakes; he is dangerous, hileviathan will take a long time and a great distance to stop.

The truck ahead, the one overtaken is shaken by the wind, shaking and braking, the red tail lights aglow after every gust.

The moon shows through the clouds on the right, the sunlight yellow from the left, the sky is black.

A rainbow, bright and persistent

shit, and the day before a forecast storm

get up, it is Sunday, put the clothes on, shoes, pick up the bag, get out. There are two young men taking their dog out for a walk. The dog stops to do a shit on the street, the men stand there, the one attached to the dog by a leash and look around just like shoplifters trying to be casual and unnoticed.
Ignore them. Think about the summer to come, when all the waste bins will be filled with plastic bag wrapped dogshit. They will leave it on the street, there is a storm forecast for tomorrow, that will wash the ordure away. Walk on down the alley, then into the Neustadt street, look into all the closed shop windows. In a barber shop window there is a sterling silver razor, one of those ancient ones that used to be sold as a safety razor, with a bog oak handle beautifully polished and a matching shavers brush all on a silver stand. Old technology. The price tag has a figure upon it that is as high as a months wages in eastern Europe.
Walk on down the road, the thoughts changing from plastic wrapped dogshit to overpriced luxury items, they have their market, and somebody can easily be pursuaded to see that quality has it's price and the sheer beauty is to be enjoyed and - some justification will be found.

Stop outside the pub, it is already full of early morning drinkers, chat to a man known even though he is not known by name. He explains that the storm will be there at four in the morning, and that rail traffic will be disrupted. A general conversation about the unpunctuality of the German railways ensues.

Walk on, stopping at a café in the Altstadt street. Drink a coffee, watch the waiter at the Belstner café opposite prepare the outside seats for the days custom.
It will be a warm day, the day on the calm before the storm. There are many older people in the café, some with walking aids, some crippled by Parkinson's disease.

Finish the stroll, walk around the church.
At the corner of the road, there is a huge heap of dogshit, a shiny sausage.
They really did not clear up their dogs leavings, they looked guilty for a reason.

Café Belstner in Landshut getting ready for the day's work today

groan

tired
immobile
bed

and there will be no getting up
yes there will there has to be
feeling of exhaustion, rubbish, this is just weakness

It is dark outside why bother leave out the punctuation and just go back to sleep
no get up start to do things start to clean up the atrocious mess in the kitchen the mess that the son and the wife have built should leave it not worry about it as the thoughts come the hands are working clearing the crockery and cutlery and pots and pans from the dishwasher to place them in the shelves and the cutlery into the places reserved for it in drawers of the cupboard   in the sitting room on the dining table remove and carry away clear up the remaining food from the pots into sealable containers to be kept in the refrigerator

groan

the son is up just as the work is finished and he looks tired a tired teenager he long haired and not realising he looks around sees the surfaces of the kitchen largely cleared of cruddy utensils now and places his chin on his fathers shoulder asks if a visit to the cafe would be in order.

sad agree, it is the best and the only choice.

later in the day, after  the café

ice cold legs, fear, a return to bed
instant sleep, a collapse
nerves
there is no telling what it was
but it is the reason for it's being late now and nothing done.

dancing in the dark

Stand at the counter awaiting my turn, the counter in the CrazyBean cafe is made of stainless steel.
The chief of the machinists walks in.
He pays the bill.

Cannot think why.


Take a picture of the pizza baker at the cafe, his boss in the background.
He is a strict looking man, he usually remains in the background.
In his kitchen there.

Sit down with the machinists, listen to them talk of finite accuracy and amusing mistakes.

Think of the two waste disposal men in the space before the office window this morning.
They were both dressed in their orange overalls.
And they were dancing as they moved the bins.
Dancing to the music on their headphones.
Waving their hips about, shaking their backs.
In the pool of light from the streetlight in the general dark.
A strange sight, and amusing too.

Listen to the machinists talk, listen to their chat.
Listen
And they both seem  happy.

slow day

step into the office at work and turn on the computer. Read the mail, there is nothing but advertising. Delete all of this, all those purveyors of either slimness or potency or both together, the offers of cheap money, the letters asking for help defrauding foreign governments, such as Nigeria.

And end up with nothing. There is no work to be done. Everything has gone quiet, there is silence in the corridors.

Read the news again, whilst waiting for work, or an enquiry, or something. It is almost like having turned up on a free day by accident.

There are a few rumbles of building machinery outside, but that is all.

Sit there staring at the screen.
Confused thoughts
darkness

And a shake, now awake again.

This is no good.
Get up, the office has gone cold,

Turn on the heating, then go for a walk about the building.
In the basement, talk to a man who polishes crystals.
He has too much work, he complains.

Better remain silent.

radio

We usday, 5th February

After the anger and frustrations of the fifty

kilometre journey to the place of work, park

the car at the usual place beside the tree in

the refbk parking place. Before leaving the car,

attempt to adjust the tone on The radio, it is

too heavy with all the bass sounds, It is a

modern radio, one has to open a menu, select

audio, select adjust, deselect loudness,

press the down arrow, see that the mon-

esustent sub woofer is on, turn it off,

find the bass control in the menu, then

button left two chicks and confirm.

This is not possible whilst driving,

and anyway, buttons were simpler.

Just turn The knob, for bars and Treks. That

would be a clever invention,

Leave the tiny black car, press the

button on the hey to activate the remote

locking system. The lights blind.

Inside the building, there is the pevdrdi

still swaying back and forth. There

is a nice painting underneath it,

with a compass rose. The pendulum

sways in the same direction, even as

the earth Turns beneath it.

rain + wind

Tuesday, 4th february

There is rain and wind this morning, the

car is blown off course, this requires

correction. This is living, sometimes there is

a gust of wind and it becomes frightening

The german drivers do not appear to like wind,

they find it hard to cope. There are stoppages

on The motorway.

Arrive late for work. in the hallway people

talk about the wind. Their voices are hushed

Later on, it is time for the midday break.

Leave the work in the basement and go out

into the clearing weather, into the sunshine.

There was no need for the jacket,

In the cafeteria there are crowds of

students today, all those budding young

scientists.

And as These notes near completion

today the weather outside changes again,

it gets darker, and it will probably rain.

The jacket was a good idea after all.

But the weather is far too warm for

winter, nobody seems to be worried by

that.

blink

Hear the sound of the rain on the skylight

in the kitchen, and the gurgling of the water  in the gutters. It is wet and dark outside.

Turn the power for the cafee machine on, then leave the kitchen for the bedroom, there

to get dressed in the clothing for the day.

The news on the computer is bleak, the British

politicians are behaving like bucaneers, and

America has turned into a haven of dishonesty

and lies Perhaps this was always so, but it

has become more obvious lately.

The cobbled streets glisten, there is water

filling the streets gutters. On the walk beside

the park, feel the feet and the shoes get wet.

Press the button on the hey, This should make the

lights on the car blink, if it is near. It is not,

and it's exact position is forgotten. Walk

on, keep on pressing the button. The anorak

is now soaked through

Finally, much later than expected, the

lights on the car blink. It is in a place

where it had been left on friday, in a

hurry, the exact place forgotten.

Inside, start the engine. It is slow,

slow to start, slow to react. But it is dry,

and it works.

Monday 3rd of february 2020

admiration

this is not funny any more, the weather neither cold nor hot, even through a lack of sleep driven out of bed by habit early in the morning.
There is nothing to do today despite there being so much unfinished busines all around.
The untidiness is beyond caring for, leave it to those who created the mess to clear it up.
Give up.
There is no winning.
It is Sunday, and who is happy that the weekend has begun and is now nearly over?

The eyes are sore, cannot focus, the head is whistling like  the white noise from an old radio.

There is no joy in conversation.    
The son makes breakfast at eleven.
He bakes a fantastic apple cake.
That is nice, he is to be admired

miserable

Sit at the writing desk in the corner of the bedroom reading the news such as it is, the news of a cynical acquittal. Sit there until tired and cold. It is six in the morning, still dark, six and Saturday.
A criminal that is not a criminal because he is our criminal. The land of the free turned to the land of the fee, an oversize banana republic.

It is cold, the cat jumps on the knees with a grunt,  a croaky noise, her purr starting as soon as her furry back is touched.
She is consoling.

The cold in the room that is not being heated yet starts a shivering in the legs, put the cat down onto the ground and go back to bed.
It is a day off, a day for some luxury.
And there is no pleasure in it