silence

 Friday silence is so pleasant. The cat fed, the plants watered, breakfast made  and eaten. Now there is nothing but silence and relaxation. 

The mess in the kitchen, cleaned it out yesterday. It is in progress of being re-created today. The mess in the living room is owned by the wife and the son. It will only enrage them to clean that up, so it is not worth while.

But the peace and quiet are nice, the drowsiness would send you back to sleep. Later, there will be things to prepare for the exhibition. The exhibition which may take place in October.

And then again, maybe it will not take place.

Another hour of sleep would be nice now. Even after the news of the Ukraine, were thousands are now being killed, invaders and invaded alike.

examinations II

Leave the bed early, before the alarm on the 'phone sounds. Before going to the bathroom, change out of the sleep shirt and into the day shirt, the green undershirt, and then the warm hoodie. The old house does not warm up quickly, it will remain pleasantly cool during the coming summer, a summer which may well be hotter than the last one.

The kitchen is a catastrophe, it is a slovenly mess. The remains of yesterdays meal, the regular dirty dishes have been combined with the nocturnal culinary activities of the son and the remains of the wife's midnight cup of tea.

Concentrate on the preparation of coffee and put on water for the breakfast eggs. Leave all the crockery and other things were they are, for the moment, and know that if they are simply left there it will be for eternity.

Call the son, he asked to be wakened. Today is the day of his second exam. He is in his bed, awake already.

Breakfast and the news, it is nice to be alone.

Ten minutes after the last call, call the son again. 

He is still awake

And some minutes later, he is in the living room, reading his text books.

And then he starts the last minutes preparation for his examinations. He has to borrow the computer, because for whatever reason, none of his computers are suitable .

Irritate him by taking pictures.

Stop taking pictures, there is no wish to distract him further.

He spends the final minutes looking for his second shoe, the first one being on his right foot already. He also needs his personal hairbrush, his father's will not do. Then he says goodbye, and goes downstairs.

ready for Thursday

 The 'phone makes an alarm sound. It is a reminder to take the three pills, two for the blood pressure and one tablet that contains iron in some form. The iron is supposed to support the blood's ability to store oxygen, to increase the number of red blood cells. This is what was explained.

Take the pills and wash them down with a glass of water. The rosemary bush seems to be surviving on the spot on the window sill, it's small branches projecting left and right like a Jewish candle holder. The cat is sitting beside it, purring,  enjoying the warmth from the radiator underneath the window. Touch the soil in the pot to see whether it is damp or not and pat the cat. The soil is damp and the cat approves of the touch.

Two eggs and two slices of toast for breakfast with a big strong cup of coffee. And all alone in the big untidy sitting room, now almost completely taken over by the items scattered by the wife and the son. This is the only time to feel at home here.

The day outside is clear and sunny, it is Thursday morning, a name for a day that marks the nearing completion of this week and any other week.

The second pot of coffee makes grumbling noises.

It is ready for Thursday.

Part One

 Why does the headache come with the cold? It is just a sign of getting old.
The son was up at half past six this morning, so very early for him. Today is the day his German examination is taking place. His final German examination, possibly the last one that he will ever need to take. Unless he decides to study law or language.

Sit at the table and wait for him to finish his preparations for the day. There is one bathroom in the flat, leave it free until he has left. He rushes about, picking his clothes out of the washing baskets that function as a wardrobe for him. It is not that he does not have a wardrobe to store his clothes in, it is just that he does not go to the bother of transferring the clothes from the washing basket into these shelves. He therefore wastes time rooting among the contents of the produce of the washing machine and clothes dryer.

When he has finished and is gone, go to the bathroom and shave away the stubble of the last few days. Consider that this is now a major change for the family, for when this is done his birthday will follow in July, and he will be of voting age. He will be his own man. There will be a relaxation of the rules of responsibility for his behaviour, he will be responsible for his own things.

That will be the end of Part One.

nowt

Why 

The depression masked as tiredness killed all activity yesterday, it left nothing but the feeling of a dull load on the mind and a swirling in the brain that in combination left no room for anything but sleep. And there was a sensation of numbing cold that left few options but to retire under the sheets and to allow everything to be obliterated by drowsiness and then sleep.

Something is probably not right, but then it may just be the sixty six years of having to deal with the planet that are now taking their tolls. Each year a single ring of the bell.

The coffee is ordinarily bitter today, no real reason for that, but there is no harm in it. At other times it is so tasteless

Things are moving, but slowly. There are things in the house that need to be cared for, and a car repair too. And, a cause for some joy, a new exhibition of old work in a small gallery to be prepared for October this year. That is early. And the book is to be published next month.

There is nothing to regret, everything is going well, and still the misery of the daily trot will make it all for nowt.

egocentric

Later, the legs are so cold that the only way to warm them is to go back to bed and cover them up. The feeling of all pervading cold will not go away. It is all right, it is not very warm in the flat, but there is no reason for this. Getting up was easy, making breakfast was fine, reading the first news was not a problem, and then this cold. If it were only a sedentary lifestyle, there would be understanding, but the cold legs after a long walk, the dizziness as soon as movement abates, this is all strange.

Maybe it is one of the horrors of getting older. The time spent yesterday with the photographer, the colleague,was very pleasant, and it was strange to listen to him talk about nobody  but himself and his relations to well-known people. Constantly I, I, I, interspersed with multiple me and my pronouns and so forth. It was interesting to watch all his listeners start to gaze in a dazed way.

He is nice enough, very nice as egocentrics go.

outing today

 Even though the days are getting longer, this one has been darkened by clouds and sad weather. The light outside is flat  and dim, and in the flat it has become really dark. This is no weather for a day out, or for an outing.

The arrangements, however, have been made. After sleeping a little longer than usual, have the usual breakfast. The cat is rushing around in a disorientated sort of way, the animal does not seem to know what she wants. The blue flames of the gas cooker underneath the pan of water for the eggs and the small Bialetti coffee maker are a comfort, their warmth spreading in a narrow radius from their location. The kitchen is dirty, but it is not as untidy as usual. Things  are to be found.

Read the news on the computer, there is no news really. On Facebook, a man from whom I would not have expected such a thing has displayed the reproduction of some sexist remark. Perhaps he thinks it is funny, but the humour escapes easily. There is the reminder of a friends birthday too. Act on the reminder, wish her a happy birthday.

The Russian genocide in the eastern Ukraine continues, using the same methods as in Syria and Chechenia. No wild animal would cause such destruction. 

There is nothing to understand here, and there seem to be no real explanations available.

The cloud outside has past, and the cat is curled up on the knees, enjoying the warmth and the company.

elapsed hours

 April is approaching it's last week, there are only seven days of the month left. Time is jumping from one appointment to the next, at least this round of doctors appointments is dealt with, this is due to start again in July. All is well, a slight cure is better than a major disaster.

Later today a talk is planned, the attempt to open a second venue for the exhibition of pictures of the place of work is under way. It would be most interesting if this would work out, it would be a matter of personal pride.  The pictures themselves are wildly out of date now, preparation for the current show ended a year ago, and that episode is done with.

The cat has taken a place on the denim covered knees yet again, She has become careful of not using her claws to climb up from the floor. She only uses them slightly, to grip the black denim of the trousers and not the underlying flesh. She has commenced purring constantly, something is giving her pleasure. Pet her back, and she looses hairs from her coat. Cats constantly lose hair, and never seem to go bald. After a while she jumps onto the table, and from there to the window sill to observe the traffic.

Take a break from writing these notes.  Empty the dishwasher, find that it has not been effective on two of the plates, there is dirt still on them. Use a wet sponge to remove the dirt, and put the plates back into the machine. Remove all the other dishes and pots and cutlery too, and put all the accrued dirty dishes into the machine.

The second pot of coffee is made now, the pills have all been taken, and it is time to take a short rest.

Somehow, the first four hours of the day have elapsed.

end of the rope

 The son's alarm sounds, groups of four notes, each one of the four higher than the last, then a second group of four, the second group pitched higher than the first group and finally a fourth group, pitched higher again. Then the whole sequience starts again. And he lets it run for a long time, or else it simply fails to waken him. It is not good for the nerves, it irritates even though it is not really loud.

It is important to get up early, it is important to not spend all day in bed. Life has been long, live has survived the daily discipline of the demands of a working day, and there is no point in giving up now. The pills the doctor prescribes, they are difficult to understand. The pills that eased depression seemed to work on the feeling of hunger and appetite, triggering a happy well nourished sensation. That was easy, but the problems with depression are surely not all based on starvation and attendant woes. They did not work, they simply disorientated. The pills against high blood pressure most probably work, but seem to cause dizziness. It is like responding to a warning light by smashing it. And the iron tablets will not solve the problem of anaemia. And nothing will answer the query of why things go dark during a standing break from a walk.

The war in the Ukraine has caused pain with no visible gain to any person, other than murderers and sadists and such people who take a delight in the study and use of weaponry, pyrotechnics, armour penetration, surveillance and ballistics. This group  is of little use to a civilian society, and has no real interest in the suffering of the victims of a war. It's members seem to believe in their personal invulnerability, and that the suffering in the past will neither repeat itself nor be of any consequence should it do so.

A second cup of coffee in the morning is a reasonable answer, the cat wants to be let out and now the bell on the church commences to ring as if there is some demented person on the end of the rope.

no focus

 Wonder why the head is so full of sleep today, why the eyes are more unfocused than they usually are. It is quite unclear. Yesterdays activity, the two hours motoring, delivered no reason for this.

Still, got out of bed as soon as the alarm sounded and made breakfast. The pills were forgotten in the drowsiness, take care of them now. The glass of water is fresh and bubbly. Still, the drowsiness is surprising. The eyes lose focus and the head sinks down, really, after sleep the body should be refreshed.

The news says that the murder in the Ukraine is proceeding, a war that is escalating steadily, a wound that is draining the world's resources. 

Look across the room at the windowsill, the roses are still in the vase. They have been there for weeks now, and they are dead, dried and dusty. They will need to be cleaned away soon. And the plate with yellow congealed marks of breakfast is still on the table along with the empty coffee cup and the empty glass of water. There is an increasing sound of traffic from the street, the extended weekend has ended for many. 

The children are still enjoying their Easter holidays.

marker

 A white porcelain plate with yellow stains from the breakfast rests on the table with the knife and the fork resting upon it , all silvery and licked clean. The poached eggs were a bit on the runny side today, the timing routine was disturbed, the toast was too fast and the cat was insistent on food. The victim of the mornings poor temper was the cat, it was ignored. After a while, it wandered away, and found a place to continue sleeping in. Outside the window there is the noise of the rubbish people collecting waste from the restaurant opposite. They are visible from the window as they continue their route, two men standing on the tailboard of the truck, one right, one left, both dressed in high-visibility orange suits.

There is a hum of traffic today, it is another normal weekday after the annual disturbance to routine that was Easter.

It is time for a second cup of coffee, and it is time to put on the day clothes. It is time to try to head out and start the day rather than to waste it in idleness

soundlessness of a potential scream

The tiny dead bird brought in by the cat is wrapped in a paper kitchen towel and interred in the waste bin. The living room is full of fluffy feathers. The cat had spent time throwing the bird into the air, hoping to for more sport from the tiny animal. The cat did not realise that the bird was  quite dead, and would never flutter again.

Try to sweep up the feathers, but they are so light that they just blow out of the way of the brush.

This is the sitting room. It is the wife's realm, every spare surface and parts of the floor are covered in clothing in transparent plastic bags, all of which she hope to sell online some day. The big room has been entirely taken over by the wife and the son's operations, they are practically the only people living here any more. Apart from the paintings hung on the walls it is all a disturbing mass of untidiness.  It is also the son's space, his computer remains are taking over piece by piece

A mass of mess, or a messy mass.

There is going to have to be a change sometime soon. The cat has spread fluffy feathers over everything.

There is potential energy here.

The soundlessness of a potential scream.

Monday morning easy

 Miriam the cat was especially insistent this morning, wanting to be fed. As a result, she received the usual dose on her plate. Shortly afterwards, she came back and wanted more.

It is silent today, at seven in the morning. The town is asleep for Easter, there is no sound of cars outside, there are no street cleaners outside. Every sound in the flat sounds louder than it usually does, everything from the ticking of the clock to the hum of the fridge.

Six in the morning is turning into the normal time to get out of bed and to make breakfast.

Read the news. There is not much news to read, the war in Ukraine is proceeding, and it almost seems as if the world stock of weaponry is running out. There does not seem to have been an excessive surplus production in the Western countries at all,

The cat has retired, to sleep off her double dose of food today. The family is still asleep, and why not. It is Easter Monday after all.

Drink the coffee until the maker is empty. 

Upon in impulse, listen to Faith no More's version of "Easy like Sunday Morning" on YouTube, quietly, so as not to wake up the rest of the family.

Then follow the cat into the bedroom. There are things on the table that were not there before. The cat, overeaten, has vomited onto the writing table. There is a roll of paper wipes with hearts embossed upon them, use a few sheets of this to clean the table, and also the windowsill, then pleased that there is no more, step barefoot into the slimy heap on the floor. 

After this has been cleaned, all under the interested gaze of the perpetrator, and the feet washed, lie down for a few minutes.

Easter, this is Monday morning.

The cat has vomited thrice.

not nice

flight

 It is impossible. A five hour walk yesterday, twenty one kilometres, the tiny distance from Landshut to Altheim and back, It was a good day, and the solitude was pleasant. The pain in the hips upon returning was unexpected, and the utter chaos at home was expected. What is to be done about it? Something needs to be done, it is untenable. The mess is being created faster than it can be cleaned, it is a waste of time trying to tidy the situation. That would be a job for all the time available in the remaining days. And that would waste those days.

Perhaps taking another walk today, another flight from reality, another journey out of the situation that cannot be changed would be a suitable exercise for this easter Sunday.

It is early in the morning yet, the neighbours across the street have just withdrawn the heavy blue curtains with which they gaurd their privacy, and the sun has just touched the top of the building opposite.

dozy confusiion

 What is to be done with this Saturday? This day is spent before it has begun, there were no plans in place for it yesterday and now it is too late. The things in the living area that were left lying around undone and incomplete last week are much the same this week. It is Saturday, and it is good to be alone in the morning, with no fuss and demands on the time. It is eight in the morning, and all are asleep. Even the cat has got over her morning excitement and has returned to sleep on the bed in the bedroom. She is waiting for the wife to waken, then there may be a prospect of more food on the plate.

It is questionable whether two poached eggs and two slices of buttered toast are healthy for breakfast, but leave the questions unananswered, and just enjoy the peace and self indulgence. There is little to read on the news today, the writers are probably all on their Easter holidays. There is news from the war in Ukraine, there is news from Rome, and there is news from people claiming to fight on behalf of those not involved. There are beggars claiming their right to other's property because they believe in equality, and those that claim that revenge must be served before they will agree to normal civilised behaviour. And there are those that believe in simplicity, all searching for sandpits to bury their heads in.

A short rest to digest that breakfast, and that is what crazed thoughts look like, meaning the ones that come to the fore during a semi conscious daydream. There is no wisdom here that will provide an answer.

madness, again

 Nobody cleaned up the kitchen after themselves yesterday. That is the reason for all of the five positions on the gas stove being occupied.

In fury, move the used frying pans and the dirty pots to ones side. After all, the dishwasher is empty, it is not unreasonable to expect the user of the implements to at least put them into the machine to be cleaned. But what for one is reasonable is quite unreasonable for another .  But it is no way to live, this state of permanent provocation.

Clear a small space on the table top and make a breakfast for one. 

Read the news, sunk ships and bad diplomacy are the subjects here.

It is just a matter of scale. Take the prescribed pills and another cup of coffee. In dizziness, lie down on the couch and suffer semi-sleep and hallucinatory day dreams, dreams that present a fully distorted view of reality. Consider that all of this may be very close to a kind of madness, despite the surroundings which offer security and comfort.

Then go to the first floor and try to write from there. This does not work, there is no internet here, and this system needs the contact to the web to work. And the electrical clock in the first floor room has stopped, an electric plug was accidentally removed from its socket. Fix this first, and then go back downstairs to write these notes.

Open the windows, at least a change of air will do good.

utility morning

 The son was active during the night and the kitchen is a mess. He made a bowl of cream, and that is a disaster, the mixer is still lying on the worktop dripping cream. Should this be cleared away, or just worked around the mess, leaving it standing as is in the hope that he will clear it up later. Decide that the hope is too slim to be remotely real, and move the sticky slimy tool over to the space by the sink for rinsing as soon as the dishwasher has been emptied.

The personal breakfast is over, and the first articles read. There is no understanding as to why the Ukraine chose to insult Germany, but then they are a free country and can choose their friends.  A protracted war would ruin both sides, Ukraine and Russia. Countries may choose their friends, people may use their friends, it is up to the individual entity to do as it needs to do.

A ding from the machine, the New York times has arrived. They report on a madman who has bought weapons technology to impose Hell onto a busy subway. They write about America's problems with democracy, and the right of every man to keep more weapons than he can conceivably bear. They write about all kinds of things, and they write well.

The sun is up for some time now, a good three quarters of an hour. The son has risen too, and without a word he goes to the lieu de lavage or whatever the French would call it. These are his last Easter holidays from school, and he has not informed any body of his further plans in detail. Perhaps he is being cool and is just waiting for things to happen. 

traffic

 After the short trip to Regensburg yesterday exhaustion set in. The journey to the clinic turned out a negative result which is positive, depending on how it is regarded. Regensburg was exhausting, with crowds of tourists looking at the stone cathedral as if they had never seen a church before.

But that was all yesterday.

Maybe it is just because of the habit of getting out of bed at six in the morning, as the sky begins to lighten.

Make breakfast, much as yesterday, and read the news. The Ukraine and it's ambassador have insulted the German president for decisions made years ago, before the russian invasion. Perhaps these people find that satisfying, but it is a hindrance to further progress. Walking forwards is easier than walking backwards, and it is possible to see where you are going. It is sad news. Humans bear grudges and some are not prepared to accept that things have changed. 

The weather is war enough today to leave the window open, the cat is on the window ledge looking at the traffic.

blossoming tree in front of a yellow house

the back of the eyelids

 Now that breakfast is over, only the coffee left to finish, close the eyes and look at the dark afterimage of the computer screen. All has been looked at for now, the next news is only to appear later. The German Handelsblatt has issued its morning briefing, soon it will be Natasha Frost's turn with American headlines. The Gaurdian can be read in the meantime, and the headlines of Die Welt and Die Zeit.

These are all newspapers, they are all the free press, and they are free. To read the articles further, you have to pay. Consider this, consider that the free press should be supported.

The cat has been silenced with food, the last remains of a tin, still cold from the refrigerator. The pills for the blood pressure have been swallowed, with great care taken to not to swallow a whole one today. Only a half dose is required, yesterday's mishap with the cold legs and tiredness does not need to be repeated. The antibiotics are to be taken at nine, after breakfast has been digested. The son's alarm is sounding, he just lets it sound, his teenager mind does not really consider that his alarm clock is a disturbance for others.

Make a second pot of coffee, and hear the ringing sound that announces the arrival of the New York Times' headlines. The Germans have been concerned about internal politics roiling the placid face of the Bundestag, the Americans are more concerned with Russia's imperial activities.

The second cup of coffee is good. Close the eyes again, see those indistinct and negative images of reality on the back of the eyelids.

far away, and it is horrible.

 Grey light in the window, and it is twenty to six in the morning. Awaken, and feel consciousness pervade the system, one by one the things in the room become apparent, and are noted as the human system climbs out of the dormant state in which it has been for the last seven or eight hours. The alarm set on the phone has not sounded yet, so slip the small device into the pyjama pocket. In the bathroom start to run hot water to shave with, listen to the sound of the cistern refilling after the matinal toilet flush. As the razor clears away the shaving cream feel a short sharp pain on the upper lip.

This pain was caused by the razing of a pimple, now a bleeding crater pouring red into the white foam.

The alarm sounds from the pyjama pocket, take out the 'phone and press the button for silence. In the kitchen, unscrew the lid of the coffee maker and fill the device with water and ground coffee and place it on the gas cooker. Turn and press the knob on the controls of the machine, and press the ignition button. There is a click and a tiny explosion as the jet of gas ignites. Do the same with a small pan of water. Take two slices of white bread from the bread box and place them on top of the toaster in readiness, and get out a plate from the cupboard and two eggs from the refrigerator.

Outside, the orange flashing lights of the street cleaners machines pass by.

With most of the components for breakfast ready and waiting for water to boil get the laptop computer and place it on the table.

Later on, with breakfast of poached eggs read about the success of the French president over his nationalist competitor, and the terror being visited upon the Ukraine by the armed forces of their neighbour.

It is far away, and it is horrible.

lightning

 Sunday morning, and it is silent. There is silence outside the house, and there is silence indoors. The cat has been fed, the day's one-man breakfast has been made and eaten, and, as said, things are quiet. There is the regular noise from the clock, but htat is it. The wife and the son are both asleep, and it is likely that the cat has joined them in that activity.

There is nothing to said against peace and quiet at a quarter to eight on a Sunday morning.

No real newspaper is available read, all the news is on the computer, snippets from various newspapers, headlines and similar information. There is news of the struggle in Ukraine, there is news of an elderly group of walkers struck by lightning. 

And a car rumbles down the street outside.

maybe next week

Now that things are going well again, now that the pain has gone because of the antibiotic, things are slowly getting boring again. Time seems to move faster during sickness, the day is gone in a flash and before you know it night is there.

But it is not here yet.

Putin's failure to take over all of the Ukrainian territory with military force inside few days has failed. Maybe he tried the same method too often. Now there is less news, only the news of continued destruction in  the East, where a second attack is feared. There are so many murdered civilians, there is so much destruction, that recovery from this will take more than a generation.

Things are boring now, the inactivity that is necessary for the cure to work completely and effectively. It is only possible to spend the day reading, or doing household work. Other things are not so easily possible. Perhaps it will be possible to go walking again next week.

sore paws

 Betterment, improvement as opposed to yesterdays misery, this is the first thought today. Things are in a mess in the kitchen again, the son was active last night cooking for himself. Putting all the dirty dishes and cutlery in a heap on the dishwasher and then brushing the crumbs off the worktop only takes a few minutes.

There is no white bread for breakfast today, it was not possible to go to the shops yesterday. See that the coffee is almost all used up, and now resolve to go to the shops later on.

At ten to eight go to wake the son, he has school today. He grins from his bed and says that the first period is religion, his attention is not required. Some things never change, religion is never high on the priorities of the youth of today.

There is news today, news from a bear that admits to having hurt it's paws in a fight. It did not expect things to go badly. It is getting a headache.

The accounts of the murders in the Ukraine are gaining momentum, and soon people will be talking of the crime of the century.

red and blue

Pain has gone, swallowed by the antibiotics. Everything feels strange, but funny feelings are better than that pain and discomfort. The cat is running around with great enthusiasm, perhaps this is because the weather is slightly warmer now, and spring is in the air. 

The son is wearing a black suit and a white shirt today. This is all very smart, it is not entirely formal, but he does not say why. In combination with his long red hair the whole effect is: 
remarkable.

Do antibiotics cause drowsiness?

The cat is under the rosemary bush and is purring as she looks out of the window.

The sky between the houses is a pure blue.

And perhaps it would be better to lie down again, before falling asleep at this keyboard.

фашистский

 In case of need and to save time making a second appointment eat nothing on this morning of the doctors appointment. Hear the son, active, getting his things ready for school, and see the light increase as the sun rises. It is strange to be resting when normally there would be activity, but since there is no eating in case the doctor wants blood for his laboratory, just rest and wait. As is usual these days, the son insists upon making his own breakfast.

Take a shower, get dressed, and be ready to go at eight thirty. The doctor's practice is not far away, and the appointment at eight forty-five should be a simple thing. There is activity everywhere on the streets, it is a busy Wednesday morning, even in the usually sleepy small town. At the end of the street there is a group around the entrance to the doctors practice, people in wheelchairs are being brought to the practice accompanied by their attendants. Let them use the lift, climb the stairs to the doctors practice. The receptionist passes over a plastic cup with a number upon it and gives directions to the bathroom and then the waiting room.

The waiting room has a television screen in it, it is full of the news of the atrocities in the Ukraine, Russian troops appear to have shot people on the street for no especial reason other than that they were there. There appears to be no doubt about this, the only denials come from Russia. Their claim is that the dead were there for propaganda purposes.This is unbelievable. 

Let us hope that the truth can be established without a shadow of doubt.

The doctor says that there is a serious infection and that he is not surprised that there is pain. The urine sample needs to be cultured, and then more can be said about therapy.

An antibiotic, and call back on Monday.

lots of water

 Open the mail from UPS today, and the parcel delivery man has said that there is nobody at home. That is untrue, but so what. The depot is not far away, and the walk is sensible, even though things are not as healthy as they might be. A loaf of bread from the bakery next to the depot would be sensible too. Nearly forget the loaf of sliced white bread on the counter.

Open the package to make sure that nothing has been damaged. It all seems to be in order, the tiny black and white markings have been placed on the rim of the lense, making it easily compatible with modern systems. The town is busy today, and traffic is a disaster, for there are major road works on one of the main roads outside town. The usual exit from town has been closed.

Return home with the bread and the repaired lens.

Rest in the flat, this stupid affliction has to pass soon, be on the way to the doctor tomorrow. Test the lens by making a snapshot out of the window, it seems to work.

It will probably just mean more pills and good advice. 

For example: Drink lots of water.

In the evening take pictures of the small sculpture for the curator of the museum.

awful, doleful, and miserable

 The cat has rediscovered her pleasure in sitting upon human knees and dozing. Perhaps it is because they are warm and soft, perhaps it is just that the cat likes black denim.

The son's alarm clocks all failed this morning, it is good that his father was up early and was able to wake him at half past seven in the morning. Keep out of his way as he rushes about sorting items for school. School will be over soon for him, for good. It is hard to know what thoughts he has for his future, it is frightening how thoroughly everything has to be planned for.

The sun is out and the sky is blue today, it is hard to imagine that it was so grey and wintery yesterday. There are another two days to wait for the specialist doctor's appointment, and it is important to ring the general practitioner today to obtain a copy of the results of the blood examination. All are agreed that the values for haemoglobin are too low, so eat iron tablets in the morning. That is the simple and direct result of the diagnosis. And for more complex things there will be the examination in Regensburg. What a drag it is getting old, and little yellow pills are unavailable.

The news is awful and bloody, people have been slaughtered in Ukraine. The Russian government says that it is all fake, that everything is unreal. It is strange to hear that a thing is faked when it is so easy to verify. Certainly these people would not have died in such a way had their country not been invaded.

The news is awful, doleful, and miserable

rosemary

rosmarinus officinalis

Yesterday, there was a small rosemary bush in the supermarket on special offer. Today it is on the window ledge, having soaked up the water poured onto the dried-out soil in the pot. Perhaps it will thrive on the window sill. Perhaps it will need a bigger pot.
It smells nice, of spice, rosemary to be precise.
It still has the tag with the bar code and the item number 4061462501340 attached to it.

The Russian troops on their retreat from Kiev have been shooting people on the street, families with children too. They have been called barbarians for this, and time will show whether this is true. The news is sparse today, but the news is not particularly good. 

Today is a day that starts with noticeable personal discomfort, there is a doctors appointment next week, hopefully he will help. There are all these jokes about plumbing, but the humour is lost when things get personal

It is Sunday, and it is possible to take an extended sleep today. Only here, knowing  that in other parts of the world this is not possible.

snow

 It is seven minutes past seven, it is turning lighter outside, and there is light snow, with tiny snowflakes falling diagonally. Look up at the roofing of the house on the opposite side of the street and see that it is white, covered in the water crystals that were predicted on the weather forecast last night. After the hot and sunny weather of the last weeks, this seems like an outrage. 

Breakfast is finished, the pills have been taken. The family is asleep, and the cat,having been fed, is sleeping again too. It is time to make another machine full of coffee and go to the loo.

The news on the computer this morning was full of the same bleak stories, violence everywhere, violence and death as a means to an end. It can hardly be true that a nation calls itself civilised when it can visit such destruction upon another nation in the interest of its politics. It is childish.

And if we are all children, what will we be when we grow up?

The snow is falling steadily, and the second pot of coffee is not made yet.

Today is the day with the appointment to visit the building worker. She is an artist. She makes mosaics.

And she wants a picture of one of them. This is curious, for who calls a photographer to make pictures of art today?

the rest of the day

It was still dark at six as the alarm on the smartphone sounded, and the first walk of the day led to the bathroom with the ice-cold flooring, the flooring covered in small tiles years ago by an amateur craftsman.

Two pills for blood pressure and one against the lack of haemoglobin in the blood. A high-pressure anaemic.

Stand there with the cold seeping up through the soles of the feet, and feel the pain of the infection that has been a plague since the urologists examination of this bodies internal workings. It is enough to give credence to the stories about the harm inflicted by medical people. But this would be wrong. 

The most relaxing part of the day is the solitary breakfast with toast, eggs and coffee, in the time between seven and eight in the morning. The poached eggs were too salty today, that was a mistake. But the solitude with the news is relaxing.

Ukraine is standing firm against Russian aggression, and Orban is in danger of losing an election because of his support for Putin. There are over ten thousand dead Russian soldiers in the Ukraine and many thousands of dead Ukrainians, civilians and military. Nearly three hundred children say the Ukrainians, and old people bombed out of their dwellings. Three million fugitives, spreading from their homes in Ukraine to every corner of the European Union. It is hard to see the slightest positive aspect of any of this. 

The son is awake, silent and morose, a teenager in the morning. He does not have far to go to school, and he sleeps for as long as is possible, only to be in a rush and to arrive late when the time comes. Time always sees to speed up when things are left to the last minute.

A second cup of coffee, and more of the news, and now to face the rest of the day.