no smoker

FEB 28,2017
It is still dark, turn the sounding alarm off, make way to the bathroom. The son had showered the night before, the shower pan has his plastic bottles full of shampoos and hair conditioners in it. The drumming sound of the water drops on these half empty plastic containers is disturbing and irritating. After showering the air drier comes on automatically, a steady throb, a compressor. Return to the bedroom, get a fresh T shirt and pants, the trousers and socks, a shirt and then the jacket. Straighten the hair and go.
It is the day that the rubbish bins are to be collected.
Rubbish bin collection day. There are grey bins in front of many of the houses in the street.
There is the women with the knitted cap riding her bicycle around the corner by the church, just leaving the pedestrian zone. She is on collision course, go to one side to avoid her.
On the way down Theatre street two police cars pass, silently, speedily, blue lights flashing. They only turn on their horns on as they reach the street, both hurrying on on their police business.
At the bus stop, good morning to the bog cotton man standing there, alone, with, his head bare. He has had his hair cut, definitely, badly chopped and very short now. It no longer flutters in the wind like bog cotton on Kippure. There is a cold wind at the bus stop. Dolores is being spoken to by a load voiced Turk sporting a small moustache. Still, we say good morning, the Turk gives an angry look, and continues his insistent lectures.
The bus arrives, pay the driver the exact fare
There is no smoker in front at the station-today.
The two service girls are wearing funny hats, it is carnival Tuesday.
Shrove Tuesday
 The one has two blue balls coated in what looks like blue tinfoil on attenuate antennas attached to a hairband, making her look like some kind of insect. The other one is wearing a silly cowboy hat covered in some similar blue tinfoil. This is carnival, a time of gaiety. But not at five thirty in the morning!
It is good that things will be back to normal tomorrow.
This sense of enforced gaiety does not have a - long tradition in this part of Germany, it is strained, artificial. forced.

Things are different today

Feb 27 2017, 5:51am

Things are different today, awaken from a deep sleep, wait a short while, take a shower and brush the teeth. That is the beginning of the day. The cat is tired today, it just rests on the bed asleep.

The street, or the alley has a man in a peaked cap walking along the pavement, A. women cycles past on a bicycle with a very bright head lamp. She is wearing a knitted cap with a peak on it.

An orange sweeping machine is cleaning the main street after the Fasching celebrations last night, and yesterday. It is a small truck with a large tank on its loading platform, and a vacuum cleaner nozzle. Water sprays out of the front, a few scrubbing brushes scrape the cobble stones and finally all's sucked up.
A clean machine.
It turns of into theatre sheet, and moves on quickly down to the town gate, stopping at the public lavatory.

and after passing through the town gate, see that the driver has just left the lavatory, those public bathrooms, to return to his vehicle and to re-commence cleaning up the town.

good Morning, Dolores, good Morning

boy cotton man. He is wearing a tight cap Today, maybe he has cut his hair. The hair that used to blow everywhere in the 'summer when it was long.

        Take out the change for the bus driver, be last to board the bus, pay the driver, all is well. Dolores leaves the bus at Hofangerweg, as every day.

        The pigtailed smoker has just left his space in front of the station, see him hurry up the stairs. He is in the cafe, waiting at the counter, waiting to buy cigarettes.

        Take the coffee, write the first words of today`s notes with the black pen in the black notebook.

Herr Hedgehog knives later, deep in conversation with another man.

        See the train from Ingolstadt arrive, in The distance. It is blue-green in color, it belongs to a different company, not the Deutsche Bahn. Then the small red diesel train is due to arrive, then it is time to heave for platform number six.

        The train is delayed today, delayed for a total of nine minutes.

        Dawn is breaking as the train reaches Moosburg

years slip by

the cat is active early, jumping onto a chair, pat the feline head, now she purrs, a sound taken to mean satisfaction. Does it really mean that? Does it really mean that the cat is satisfied, or is there some other message buried there? It is hard to be sure, but she does not seem to be unhappy.

Having dressed, look at the news on the computer. Trump has turned down a free lunch.

Oh.

The son is up, his alarm buzzed, he woke and turned to his computers

Sunday is yet quiet, but the noise will start soon.

There is not much to be said,

less to be writtenl

veil

A friendly glow from the window after a night with a nose unable to allow the passage of the air needed for life. Not really, not properly.
Winter infections, influenza, gripe, apnea

But it is a lovely day outside.


And it is saturday.

Alone and at peace in a room with two pianos, a writing desk, a card players table, a dining room table, a television and a couch. Six chairs  and a piano stooll, two sewing machines and two small tables. It is a big room with two windows and paintings and drawings on the walls.
And it is untidy, the son has a way of allowing his belongings to occupy every free space.

The house on the other side of the alley has been painted yellow, so the light from the windows is yellow also.


But the head is filled with dense matter and the eyes are strained.
The mind is slow, all of the senses are groping through a dense veil
again

It is too much sometimes

There is another suicide.

24 February 2017
The cat rubs it's face on an armrest of the chair, purring all the white. Scratch her head with the right hand, listen to the steady sound. The sound is calming.
The shower has been taken and the teeth have been cleaned. Even the clothing for the day has been donned. Friday, the last day of the week. the last working day.

Leave the house, leave the cat forlorn in the corridor. There are advertising newspaper in the letterbox, trying to salt everything from roast meat to electronic gadgets.
The street is entirely unpopulated, the loan at the end of the road has been emptied of all goods and chattels.
Move or through the town. It is quiet, but for the sound of an unusually strong wind. see Dolores at the bus stop, standing the shelter. She is a small
m women, Then she sits down, and looks even smaller. There is the bog cotton-man, walking over to the small-weather station to read The dials They will inform him of air pressure, temperature and Wind. shelter from the latter behind the bus shelter. It is warm, but the wind takes the heat away and lets the body freeze. Teachemam gawps as he walks over to the bus, he is astonished to see someone behind the shelter. going by his expression, this meets with his disaproval. Pay the driver with a ten euro note, apologise for the lack of change.
There is no pigtailed smoker in front at the railway station's building today. There are fewer people than usual standing at the counter of the cafe.
Tahe the large paper cup of warm coffee and to the waiting room.
Say good morning to Mr Hedgehog, standing at his usual table in the corner of the waiting room. He is wearing a grey cap over the top of his head, a cap with no peak. This helps keep his head warm, protects the blond spines. Wait until the Rosenheim train is to be seen on the platform, and then leave. The train for Munich is due now.
it is in now.

At this point it is not yet known that this train will not get to Munich today.
There is another suicide.
Just outside Munich.

Knee and legs on a local train

chatting to a young woman

23 Felmarhf 2017.
Bad sleep-up at three, and at four, and out of bed at five. Shower, put on the clothes, the bag, and leave the building. The entrance hallway will need to be cleaned again. The street is empty, dim, lit shop window one full of second hand clothes, and one empty. On the main street there is a large delivery truck manoevreing into position. Big, white, with a red cab. See Dolores passing under the Arch of the Town Gate. She seems to be limping. Walk slowly, so as not to catch up on her, and say good morning as we react the bus stop together. Stay behind the bus shelter, look across the rippled water of the river at the brigtly lit empty breakfast room of the big hotel. The lights reflect in the ripples, producing an effect like an animated Expressionistic painting.
See the bus come around the bend in the distance and start telling out the money for the fare. This is
one Euro twenty now. The driver is a man with a bald crown and moustache; teacher man gets on first, and is short- changed by the driver. This takes some time to clear up, the driver does not understand his mistake.
Pay the exact fare, there are no problems.
At the station another huge truck, white and red, has backed up to the hallway´s main entrance. It serves as a backdrop for the smoker standing at the big ashtray. He has a rucksack today, and is wearing a short sleeved shirt. It is warm for this time at year.
There is confusion at the service counter of the cafe. A young man is ordering breakfast piecemeal for himself and his girlfriend. As each portion of his order is packed and delivered, another item occurs to him. This goes on for five minutes . Then the man with the shaven-bald head comes over and enquiries as to whether the order has been placed or not. Then he just makes a large coffee. At last.


Hedgehog is in the cafe, chatting to a young woman. He looks happy.

parameters

in the dark, turn of the beep and take off the breathing mask. In the dark, Remember the decision yesterday, to not to go to work untill the cough has gone.
No walk through the dark silent streets that are not a friend and not an enemy. They are just there. Break from the past and experience discomfort at the thought of the future.
There is nothing there, no joy no dissapointment.
The kitchen a mess, the living room a depository of things not tidied away.
Just a sloppy mess
The cat prowlin sitting on the chair, holding its head in place for the mornings attention.
This is not worth it.

Listen to the shouts of the family abusing each other.
Stay silent, silent, flee into a space at the back of the head, peer out through the twin ports in the skull hear the world go by over the increasingly loud white hissing noise to the right.
The doctor says everything is in order, all is well, the solution for the hissing is a matter for psychology.

The son is getting ready for school
There is no where to flee to

Stuck in the system, no view no vista
study the system parameters from within the system´s perimeter

flock of ducks

21. February 2017.
The cat is silent today, it just rests on the bed and sleeps. Shower, get up, brush the teeth, check the bag.
All is confused today.
But so what.
Put the mobile telephone into the shirt's breast pocket and then leave the house.
Spend a moment looking at the newly decorated window of the shop opposite, the second hand clothes store. The owner takes great care to keep the window of her shop interesting.
At the end of the alley there is a dump track, loading the waste from the public house at the corner.
It is there on Tuesdays, and maybe one other day in the week, Doing it' s job, tended to by one man.
Walk behind Dolores, the older woman is walking slowly today. Arrivéd at the bus stop, she looks over her shoulder, and gives a bright  "good morning".
all at the people there yesterday are there today as well, there is no need to list them.
A small flock at ducks down on the path by the river. They are just sitting there in the orange glow of the sodium street lighting.
Take a picture at the town gate, just for fun.
Board the bus. he the last on board, pay the fare exactly.
The next things are to order a cup of coffee from the Indian girl in the railway station cafe, to say good morning to the man called Hedgehog. He is wearing a green overall today.
Write these notes, and continue to write them on board the Munich express train. A steady rush for fifty kilometres, change twice.

The man with the blinking LED lights on the cuffs of his trousers sits down opposite. He . is tired, he complains of having had early shift for the past two weeks.
Tired, unconcentrated.
The year is slowly turning to a spring.