a century ago

Awake,breathe.
It is late, and it is warm in bed. There is darkness outside, it must be early. It is not. It is winter, and the sun does not rise till later.
Awake, now. The son is not up, not the sun and not the son.
Not awake as he had planned.

Get up, bathroom, tinkle, in the porcelain lavatory bowl, wash the face in the stoneware hand basin. Hot water from the tap, that is pleasant.
It was a rarity on the New Year's Eve of 1918, a century ago

Get up, realise that the dizziness is gone, there is congestion in the throat, the headache is gone, perhaps that Christmas cold is going away.
 The body's need for rest is forced itself on the minds desires, making them take a background position.
And now that infection is receding again. Thankfully, it felt so permanent, an unwanted guest.


It is later, sit in the brown room with the cat and cup of coffee, warm and happy.
There is dim diffuse light from the nascent morning from the big wood-framed windows, it is nine, and there are the sounds of car doors closing outside, as the first shoppers go on the last shopping trip of the year, in the knowledge that the shops will close at midday.

two small children rush by on small scooters

See two small children rush by on small scooters, first a boy and then a girl. The son is sitting opposite,  and to the right the service counter of the cafe. The glass front of this bakery shop is looking right out onto the big cobbled pedestrian area of the Altstadt street, soaked shiny grey in the constant light rain. The two small children, quite independent of their parents, are well wrapped in rain protective gear. There are no parents anywhere to be seen.
The son is eating half a flat loaf of turkish bread, sliced horizontaly down the middle and filled with cheese, salad and tomatos. He is tired, and cannot really keep his eyes open, but still, he wants his treat out in the cafe with his father on weekends and holidays.
There are people coming in and leaving, all dressed up in rainproof clothing, buying their Sunday rolls. The service people behind the counter collate the goods, wrap them up, and wish everyone a happy New Year in case they don't come again until then.

The two children return, the little girl laughing, her older brother self important. They carefully park their little push scooters in the entrance and the boy goes to the glass counter that is way taller than he is. It is good that it is a showcase too, it is possible to look through and to see whom he is adressing.
He has a small list in his hand, he proudly reads out the items that he has to buy. He checks the various kinds of roll carefully, asking to see the underside too, maybe making sure that nothing is burnt. He reaches the money up over the counter.
Then he and his sister scoot off back the way that they had arrived.

The son is tired, but is enjoying his coffee and his roll.

Look out at the dreary street.

Finish eating and drinking.

Get up.
out.


Walk along with the son, follow him through the street.
See two small children rush by on small scooters, first a boy and then a girl.

They are rushing down the narrow sidewalk of the side street, perilously close to the bus that is on the way to the terminus on  the lower part of the Altstadt street. Chattering excitedly, they are in a hurry to go back to the bakers.
Something has been forgotten

order

............according to the promise made yesterday, put on the day clothes immediately, realising that it is late and that the magic of the morning will be over. All on account of copious self-indulgent, staying in bed on account of a robust cold. But it feels good to rest, and to let the body get on with recovery and rebuilding efforts. 

And then away, down the cobbled alley onto the New Market street, passing the design shop on the left, seeing the luxury beer shop opposite with the ecologically flavoured fancy good store and the novelty baking tray store.

Then the shop selling better watches, right by the freshly cleaned war memorial, where the road needs to be crossed taking care not to fall foul of the octogenarian boy racers in their German brand name luxury cars, to the small cafe.

Ein cafe und ein kücherl bitte

coffee and a cake please, eine cola und einen Bienenstichkuchen for the son.

And then listen to the stories from the cyberworld in the computer, the brand name competition, the fight with the simple logic in complex systems.

And when all is done and spoken about walk down the road past where the market had been yesterday, and to the big modern building complex housing a cinema and various shops.

In the basement, Aldi. Aldi, the discount food store.

Buy cat food there, and then see a package of Brie. Think of the cheese stall at the market yesterday, look at the Brie more carefully. It will unlikely be as good as the one from the market. Regret- it is a matter of taste, and why save a small amount of money to forego a great pleasure.

What of it, too late now, take the Brie, the poor cousin of the strong tasting cheese in the market place.

And the head is dizzy now, and the nose is stuffed.

Staying in bed would have been in order............

quiet, the Christmas festivities are over.

The nightmare of numbers did not repeat itself, now there are strange and absolutely not logical sequences of people in groups, in corridors. There is no connection to reality. That is the stuff that dreams must be made from.

But the headband has gone and the pressure on the chest is relaxed a bit. Take a deep breath, coughing is painful, wait take another, there is no coughing and the pain is gone.

Things are getting better.

Get up, go to the bathroom, wait till the water from the tap runs hot, wash the face, put shaving cream over the stubble, and use the old razor to shave away four days of growth. It will never be enough to be a beard, but enough to be an untidy nuisance. Go back to bed, sleep the rest of the time till dawn.

Rubbish, it is half past nine, the son comes in, hopeful of going to the cafe. Say okay.

Then walk on down to the cafe around the corner, the small traditional bakers shop, supplying it's old customers and new ones too. Sit at the table, discussing the methods of computer game marketing, the sly ways of getting people to pay for a product that they think they are getting free.

And when we are finished, stack the cups and plates and leave them on the counter.

Say goodbye and go.

There is a market in the old town, a smell of fresh cheeses and fruit. It is expensive, but the products are good. It is cold, and the visitors are sparse.

The whole town is quiet, the Christmas festivities are over.

numbers

dreams of numbers on pages, single numbers on single pages.
Absolute nonsense, but after every awakening in the night they return. They are being sorted, but there is no knowing what they signify. Just numbers on light squares,  passing by, there is a sense of satisfaction. But what does it mean?
No idea.

There is a sound of stumbling in the room, it is the son, coming in in the dark. It is still before seven in the morning, he wants to do an early morning visit to the cafe.

So push the awful sick sensations away, those sick sensations that after all day yesterday in bed, still hang about, a warning of more to come. Go to the bathroom, take a shower. The air in the bathroom is cold, the air in the corridor outside is icy. Return to the bedroom, put on some day clothes, go out into the corridor, put on a jacket-
The son is still in his room, he looks surprised. Then he puts on his coat and his shoes, combs his hair, and so father and son walk through the dimly lit town to the small café.
The people there are tired, taciturn.
There are misunderstandings over the required order.

So what.
One large sticky bun and a cake later, the son is still talking about his game programming.
Suddenly the eyes go dark, the hearing cannot decipher the speech anymore, there is dizziness.

Tell the son that we will have to go straight home
which we do.
Continue to think aboud those dreams with the numbers flashing by

snivel

A band around the head
another around the neck at the throat
and a third one around the chest.
A whistle in the ears
dizziness.
There was no drink taken yesterday
And still the pressure from the bands that are not really there,
is there.
Get up early and make coffee.
That makes everything worse.
Make a second cup.
That does not make things better either.

The son comes in, sees his father unwell.
So he runs into the sitting room, gets a blanket and covers him over the bed clothesl.
Now things are warmer, and the attention is appreciated.

Stay in bed until twelve
And then write these notes,
there is now soreness at the back of the throat.

Snivel.
Read about the american president. He is indulging in self pity too.
A horrible thought.
A spoilt brat.
wants a new toy.

at ten on Christmas Day

A short distance away, the son, crouched down beside the bed. In the dark. He is calling out softly.
He wants to go to the cafe.
For a coffee and a coke.
On Christmas Day.
He does not believe the cafés will be shut.
It takes half an hour, until eight in the morning to awake and get the day clothing on.
Then we go out, him wearing his new green parka, his father in his old brown jacket.

go through the creepy crepuscular lighting of the old town, it is barely twilight yet. Around the corner of the alley there are two policemen and a third man, all standing tense around the speedily parked police car, all with a distance between them. There is some police business taking place here. The one policeman is talking on a telephone, he is asking loudly for some personal details.
Pass this group, there are lights in the cafe farther up the street.
But the little cafe of choice is closed for Christmas.

Go on through the deserted streets, to check on the other café.
It is dark, and there is a note in the window, saying that it will open on New Years eve.
Oh.

Look up at the windows in the upper stories of the old houses.
There is one bright with Christmas lights and decorations.
Look up again, there is a woman opening the windows, to let in the air.

And on the way back home, pass another café, it has a note saying that it will open

at ten on Christmas Day

relaxation

sit in the greying light of the early morning
sit in the sitting room, all is quiet, all is sleeping, but for the cat. Fed, and now full of purrs.
Let her out.

There are a few cars outside, they are to be heard down on the street.
Otherwise, it is silent. Perhaps there will be more people on the street later on. It is Christmas Eve today, most of the businesses are closed, few people are working,

and the rest of the family asleep.
Slowly now, with a temporal distance from the daily rush to work, relaxation is settling in, there is no longer the feeling of such despair and exhaustion.

Christmas break
And the clock says that it is six minutes past nine.

And it is getting lighter and lighter
Just sit there, do nothing, enjoy the taste of the bitter cheap coffee
and think of the things that need to be done about the house.

for a change

doze, sleep but not really sleeping, awake to the sound of the cat's complaints, let it out, hear the cat door go creak and slam.
Go back to bed, why not? The rest of the family, both of them, are sleeping.

And then it is half past eight. On usual days, that would be very late. So get up, and gather the things to make coffee with, switch on the grinder, and the little coffee maker with the sieve. Take out the sieve and wash it out under the tap.

Let the cat back in. She grunts in thanks, or acknowledgement, or whatever cats do that for.

Settle down, get the computer, get ready to write these notes. A cup of coffee, a cat and peace in the flat. The clock is silent, it had been stopped last night for adjustement, and then restarting it was forgotten. The hands are stopped at nine.
Get up from the table, and adjust the minute hand by moving the little second hand, then start the heavy short brass pendulum swinging again.

Then sit down, and write about the morning's doze.

Feed the cat, she is being insistent. A fresh tin, she eats all that is put on the plate.

Then sit down again, the cat is sitting in the window, looking out.
Sneeze.
The cat gives a short vocal comment on this, then she gets up and wants to go back into the kitchen again.
Get up.

It is so nice to be alone and lazy in the morning.
for a change

no need to go to work

awake to the sound of the son's alarm clock, it is still dark on the day after the shortest day of the year.
Find the alarm clock, start to fumble with the many switches. The machine is from the seventies of the last century, it has switches for radio for snoozing for a lack of radio for buzzer-confusing.
Try one of the switches
silence.
Good

Read the watch, it is seven.
open the computer.
read the news

American President with no precedent.
Hope that the people there will have a happy Christmas with what is left of their freedom.

Go back to bed.

There are young men all over the sitting room floor, in sleeping bags. They had spent half the night playing computer games together, the son had organised a party. And now they are all on the floor, on the couch, wherever you feel like it.
All four of them.

So make a cup of coffee
and take a slice of bread
return to the bedroom, there is no need to wake them.
This is the weekend before Christmas,
no need to go to work until next year

Done

Last time this year

Friday 21st of December.

get up, take the clothes from the chair where they

have been all night, and put them on. This will

be the last day of work this year.

The cat steps on to the knees from the bed,

and curls up. It seems to have accepted this as

a nice thing to do. The cat sits there and purrs

allowing attention to be paid.

and then. it is time to go, for the last time

this year.

Dolores is at the bus stop, she is

wearing a happy smile. This is pleasant,

it makes her look younger.

There is the smoker, standing alone

at the ashtray, a friendly look on his

face too. It must be Christmas.

The station Janitor is sweeping the

steps outside the railway station. There

are many cigarette butts there, left by

those hurrying for their trains. Smoking is

forbidden inside the building. So the

cigarette ends are just dropped on the

granite steps.

coffee is served by the big bald man in.

the cafe, the card assiduously stamped.

He wishes all his customers happy

holidays

Watch and doze.

In the cafe, decide to take the new train, the airport express. Check the difference.
So get the cup of coffee from the bald man with the beard, the friendly bald man with the beard.
And then walk out, take the steps to the underpass, walk along the wide white- tiled passage and ascend the stairs to the platform.
It is platform No. 6 and it is deserted.
Wait three minutes.
Now a few more people arrive.
Then the short airport express arrives, a new train with large windows.
It is silent, but for an electrical whine from the engines.

Get on board, find a seat.
It is the same inside as any other train, broadly speaking.
Sit down, and search the bag for the pen, to be able to write these notes.

The pen is not there where it is expected.
Search.
It must be at work, still loading.
So sit and enjoy the ride in the quiet train with the big windows.
Watch and doze.
The train stops at Moosburg, a few people get on.
And just before Freising, there is an anouncement, this is the Airport train, not the Munich train.
Passengers travelling to Munich should change in Freising.

Get out in Freising.
The local train will leave in fifteen minutes.
So go to the Freising café and get another coffee.
The coffee is served by a woman from India, with that mark on her forehead.

Admire the lights

Wed, 19th of December

sit down for a short while by the bed, the cat

comes over, full ofpurrs, friendly. She seems

to enjoy being petted in the morning •

And then get up, go down the old stairway,

and hurry on down the street.. go through

the christwas cafe, wooden huts and trees in

the middle of the town.

At the bus stop, say good morning to

Dolores, and then admire the lights from the

hotel on the other riverside reflecting in the

water of the river Isar. Turn, and look down

the main road, the Bundestraße 15, towards

the old gaol and the distant buildings on the

hills.

The bus is now visible, rounding the corner

by the gaol, may five hundred metres away

the vehicle looking small and insignificant

beside the trucks in the road. As it approaches

it appears to grow, and when it is at

the corner by the bridge and the bus stop it

is its full concertina-jointed fifteen metre length.

let dolores board first, and look

back towards the town gate. There, lit by

the orange light, a figure is running. It is

the Taxi driver, he is a little bit late, the

bus is a bit early. Tell the bus driver that

there is another passenger coming

on the run, the driver says that he will

wait.

sit down in the back of the bus. The

driver has not turned on the cabin lights,

the only light is the street lighting coming in

through the windows, and the light from

the television screens in the bus. It is

relaxing on the eyes, sitting in the dark

dim light.

Up at the front at the bus, the taxi driver

pays his fare, the driver waits a few

moments more, and then the bus moves

off. It moves steadily through the dimly

lit streets. At one point it stops and

waits, allowing an emergency doctor

to pass, he driving a big BMW all-terrain

vehicle, horns blaring, blue lights

flashing, speeding around the comers,

heading for the distant motorway.

Steps a chore

Tue, 18th of December, 2018

after having showered, sit down at the table, the

writing desk. Black jeans, the same ones as

yesterday. The cat comes over and carefully

clambers up onton the knees, stretching out and

purring. The cat likes the attention.

The cobbled alley is the same in the dark

morning, it is dry today, still the cobbles are

shiny in a dull sort of way. The people at

the bus stop, Dolores, the Taxi driver, and a

man with a suitcase on wheels, are all

standing now. The bus is arriving, check for

change, find the exact money for the fare and

give this to the driver.

At the railway station cafe, pay for the coffee

with the fully stamped discount card. This is

free coffee for regular customers. The waiting

room has two people sitting in it, enough

to occupy the metal chairs which have a

comfortable height.-This is a nuisance.

Take one of the wooden stools, they are

too high and uncomfortable.

Later on, arrive at the platform after the

usual upstairs-downstairs adventure at the

granite step. Rheumatism is taking it's toll

on the trees, that and the cold make the steps

a chore.

Behave like a cat

Mon, 17th December, 2018

a short grunting noise, she jumps onto the knees of the sitting man at the desk. she has only done that once before, and is awkward. Then she turns and

settles, allows the hand to stroke her head and her

back. she starts to purr, comfortably, resettles

her haunches, and rests her head upon the knees.

The cat is learning to behave like a cat, and to

do the things other cats do. Spend far too much

time petting her back, trying to return the trust,

trying to acknowledge the first friendly action

for a very long time at this horribly early hour

of the morning.

Hurry through the deserted cold streets, there is

the bus, waiting. Take the the arches at a run, and

run past the bus shelter. The bus is just

moving off, tap on the window. It slows again

and stops. The door opens, so board the machine

,say a loud" thank you", "or Donkey'; and go

and pay the driver the short fare. It was

close, but petting the cat in the morning was

pleasant, the more so because of today's premier

friendliness on the part of the cat.

Still breathing heavily from the running,

find a seat at the back of the bus. By the time

the bus has reached the railway station, the

breathing has calmed again, jump out and

walk across the station square. Say 'good

morning to the smoker by the ashtray, climb

the stairs to the station hallway.

The cafe is empty today, people are on

holidays for Christmas. Order a coffee, and

then later hand over the card to be stamped.

The young woman who runs the cafe,

Andrea, miss-counts the stamps on the

card and nearly tears it up. Then she

counts the stamps on the card, sees that

there is one space free. She stamps it and

returns the card.

go to the waiting room, and see the

morose man there, wish him a good morning,

he returns this with a surprised expression.

Normally, he is only silent, and morose.-Nobody

says good morning to him, usually.

/

start to write these notes, when the

week has started again, being functional,

early in the morning. A change from the

weekends. long rests and long viewings

of unreal stories on the television late

at night.

now

It is 

Monday, early, in the

week leading up to Christmas. The

man sitting opposite sends over

whiffs of garlic as he puts on his coat

as the train approaches Freising, in

southern Germany.

an answer to the eye contact

there is  the sound of a voice
a voice calling a name
the name well known, known best
Open the eyes
look left
there is no one
turn the head, look right.
There is the son, sitting on the ground beside the bed.

He raises his eyebrows and widens his eyes, an answer to the eye contact.
"Café?", he asks.
Ok

Get up slowly, find the clothes where they were left last night.
put them on, put on the new boots that are too hard to be worn comfortably.
Go out, put on the jacket.
the son puts on his, first the old jacket, changes his mind, then the new jacket bought yesterday.

Then the alley, the church square and the old market.
Go down to the café in the bakery shop.

Stand before the counter with all of it's assorted bakers finery,

A cup of coffee and a roll. A café au lait and a sandwich.
Sit and speak little, sit and think, sit still half asleep.

An important small pleasure
Sundays.

intemperate, subtemperate

it was horrible to get up, and it was a horror of bed that forced the rising.
Too late and too early.
And yet another winter's ailment just putting an end to the joys of the weeekend.

Go out to the café with the son, a habit both find relaxing.
His face is covered in teenage spots and pimples.
Sit there morose in front of coffee and a cake
Watch the people come in to the tiny cafe and leave again
Talk to the son.
Ask him about last weeks choir practice.

And realise that this weekend will be spent recovering from a beastly silly cold brought on by the intemperate weather, a cold that robs any ability to indulge in the desired activities.

14

Friday 14th of December, 2018

The cat rubs it's head against the legs, then it

jumps up onto the chair and starts to lick

the laquered surface of one of the arm rests.

Then

it jumps down to the floor again.

sit down on the bed and lift the animal onto

the knees and start to pet it on the head. The

cat starts to purr, a relaxing sound. Put the

right hand up and it snaps at it. Pull the

hand away, the cat looks, and then relaxes again.

Why does it do that?

.

Later, the alley, the square in front of the

church, and the old market. The old market

has a christmas market of sorts now, with

the cafes having set up stalls serving mulled

wine in the evenings. This is all deserted now, at

five thirty in the morning. There are just

empty seats and christmas trees standing

around. The christmas trees are for decoration

only. Some have been knocked over, and are

just lying about.

Dolores is standing in front of the bakery

shop, waiting untill the tread delivery track by

finished unloading.

Later, she arrives at the bus stop, bread in

hand, and wishes a good morning.

It will be christmas soon, ten days

Cold pavements

wrsday 5th of December, 2018

get up from The seat in the bus as this approaches

Landshut railway station. The station is a bright

mass of interior lighting, shining out through

it's glass front. The bus takes the bend into the

bus station, press the button to signal that the doors

should be opened. Step out onto the cold pavements,

and find a path between all of the bicycles left

standing there by their owners.

The man with the pigtail is at the usul place in front of the granite steps at the ashtray. He calls his morning greeting, reply. Climb the six granite steps, avoiding the man who is sweeping tem, clooating the many cigarette butts left there by smokers, and then enter the station hall. Turn right and go on into the cafe, and wait for attention from the service person.l The younn woman called Andrea arrives, still putting on her apron. Be the first to be served, gin her the small discount card. Wait for the coffee to arrive, a yellow mug with blue logo's printed on it . The cup is handed over by the other worker, she is the one with the mole on her chin.
A comfortable metal stool is available in the cafe's waiting room, so sit, and write . Think back, it is only three quarters of an hour ago that the alarm sounded and the day started.

Waitfr the

coffee to arrive, a yellow mug Hue logo's

printed wit. The cup is handed over by the

other: and

Stuffy

Wed, 13th of December

The cat is on the chair by the heater in ihe hallway

she is purring, she is seeking attention.

󰀀1󰀁 Pat the cat on the head and the back.

Then go into the bedroom to the wardrobe, find the underwear for the day and put the clothes on.

-Take the pill for the stomach today, as the

doctor had ordered.

Leave the house, walk down the alley, walk

past the big church, and walk past Dolores

who is buying bread at the bakers shop.

Tell out the money for the bus fare. Be last to

board the bus, even after the taxi driver. Wish

him a good morning..

At the railway station cross the plaza,

past the place were the smoker usually is.

There is a new service person in the cafe

she is steady and efficient.

Take the coffee to the back of the cafe, to the

waiting room. Even though there is a comfortable seat available, there is no wish to stay in the stuffy room today, no wish to hear the background chatter, No real desire to do

anything, but to remain at home.

Illegible

The 11th of December

Awake, there the sound from the tablet, a

sound to awaken by. Go over to the desk, press

the'off' button displayed on the device's screen.

It is silenced.

go to the bathroom, not to take a shower

as one had been taken the evening before. The

cat comes into the bedroom, and is desirous of

attention. That is the way cats are, I suppose

cats are like that in general...

sit in the dimly lit room, the sleeping wife

and the cat on the knee there too, the cat settles

comfortably on the knees purring to herself

It would be nice to stay longer, but it will not

do. Gather the telephone and the wallet from the table,

put the cat onto the bed, carefully. Put on the

jacket, pick up the bag. And in the process of

all these things, forget to take the pill that the doctor

had ordered.

In the alley there are blue tins in front of

all the houses. This is the day that the paper

waste is collected, a private firm that recycles

the paper collects the bins. Take the bin by

the handle and wheel it out into the street,

leaving it at the side of the road, standing like

a soldier on guard in front of the house.

Like all the other blue bins.

It is cold today, and the cold freezes

it's way through the boots quickly. They

are thin soled fashionable boots, too hot

for the summer, and no good for the winter.

At the bus stop, say good morning to Dolores.

She comment's that she had missed the meeting yesterday

Sickness is proffered  as a cause, and

she accepts the reasoning. She says that

it is cold.

Agree.

Pay the bus driver, and leave the bus at

the station. Hurry across the dark station

forecourt, climb the granite stairs and turn

right, go to the cafe. Pay the money for

a large coffee, and take the paper cup to

the waiting room.

The fidgety man is

 there, and the morose

man too. All the comfortable metal stools

are occupied, take a wooden seat, and

sit there with the back turned to the man

who fidgets all the time.

And

at six, go out to the platform.

There have been charges of timetable,

there is a new airport express.

the Train is late, everything is normal

-.

A-four, scattered on the floor

up so early, though the alarm is switched off. There is pain and discomfort, a continuation of the past week. Go back to bed, it will be necessary to make an appointment and to write an excuse for work.
Later on.

The son's alarm clocks sound, first the one and then the other.
Get up, a dressing gown today, and go into the kitchen.
There is the son making coffee, barely awake. He is turning into a typical teenager, still, he makes coffee for his mother, and today, an afterthought for his father.
The yellow light in the kitchen,
The same-coloured yellow light in the sitting room.
Then he starts to sort through his papers, the papers needed for school.
Then he sits down on the opposite side of the table, a small roll. he dunks it into his coffee and laughs.
Then he searches for a paper again, rapidly distraught.
Then he packs his back.

Tell him to tidy the papers, A-four, scattered on the floor.
He does.

Panic now, there is something missing, search the papers again.

Then the blame is there- had the papers left been disorderly scattered the missing one would have been found.

Puzzlement? It is hard to see the reasoning.

But then before the matter gets more complex
he is gone, school will not wait.
And his father is left with the cat and the stomach pain, gone now, but it will return.
survey the mess in the still-dark dusky room, still lit by the light from the street lamps outside the window.

Write the excuse for work, a visit to the doctor should not be postponed, hope that he has time before Christmas.

Neon

sit and wait the coat is on, wait to go out to the cafe.
The son is getting ready
then the son comes into the bedroom, and the waiting is at an end.
So out into the wet alley, ice cold rain driven into the face by a light wind.
An unpleasant Sunday.

Around the corner, dreary cold and wet, onward, and then enter the archways, they keep off the rain
There is a waiter standing there, talking on the telephone.
He has an apron on with café Neon written on it
And a little farther on, there it is, the café Neon.

So we go in there, and have a coffe and a croissant, a coke and a cake.
Great.
And watch the grinning crowds of breakfast eaters arrive and start to bustle up the stairs, searching for the best possible place.

A social gathering in a Greek café in a German small town.
Sunday

6 to 9

A long sleep, deep, till six.
Up in the dark, to the toilet, a necessity,
look at the watch
six.
The bells of Saint Martins outside
six
It is pitch black outside
Sunrise at seven fifty.
No work today, and it is cold
Back to bed.
There is no reason to mess about in the cold and the dark.

The cat is on the stone floor looking for attention, preening
reach down and stroke the head
then it is on the lap
Stroke it's back.

then it gets bored, jumps down

Now back to bed.
Until nine.
That is six on its head.

Finished and done with

Friday, 7th of December 2018

The cat is hem on attention today, so stroke

the bony head. she rolls over onto her back, scratu

the chin. she grabs the stroking hand with her

claws, front paws and proceeds to hack with

her rear legs and claws.

Painful, and there is blood.

cats are predators, she probably only meant it

as a game, a realisation of instant. Now

she sits there looking confused.

Find a plaster to cover the bleeding scratch on

the back of the hand, there were the feline talons

scraped. There is one in the small cabinet

on the wall.

Leave the house, it is thirty five past six,

the streets are empty but for one man.

Walk around the small wooden huts in the

main street, there is a resinous smell of

cut spruce and pine, this is from the greenery

attached to the front eaves of the huts for

decoration. Hurry on, pass the bakery

shop with its odours, and say good

morning to dolores in the bus shelter.

The bus arrives, pay the driver and sit down.

There is a young woman wearing torn

jeans in the back of the bus.
The weather

is warmer again.

Later on, in the train, there is

another one, with a pair of trousers ripped

over the knees.

A strange fashion.

The train moves off. A young woman

speaks rapidly over the speaker system,

welcoming new passengers, wishing a pleasant,

journey:

Now the train is rushing through the dark

landscape with points of light here and there

from buldings and street lamps on either

side of the route-The lights inside the

carriage are a diffused yellow with a

strong tinge of green. They are fluorescent

tubes.

And now the train will reach Moosburg,

it's one stop before Freising.

This journey will only be taken for another

year, at the most.

Then it will be fineshed and done with.

Wipe them away

Reach down to pick up the purring cat, pick it up and place it on the knees. The animal is mistrustful at first, and then settles.
The shower has been taken, the alarm silenced. Today is the day to go to the dentist, there was no need to get up that early.
The cat settles a bit more, she is not used to spending time on the knees of sitting humans. But she seems quite satisfied and does not really want to go away. Yet. She tries to find a more comfortable position. The cat is an unusual cat, usual cats just like to curl up in a situation like that, a comfortable warm lap to sit on and a hand to stroke the feline head.
Read the news, the news supplied by cynical German businessmen. The news is an email, sent by the Handelsblatt. A business managers view of the world.
Read from the screen and stroke the head and back of the cat. The wife is sleeping. The son is sleeping.
Then there is the raucous sound of the son's alarm clock.

Hear the son get up.
The cat jumps to the floor.
The early morning peace is interrupted
Get up, go to the coffee maker, see that it has already been turned on.
The son wants to make coffee.
He is no longer a small boy.
Fill the sieve, make coffee.
Then the son comes in, irritated to see his father.
He inguires as to the time.
Six.
Five past six.
All right.
He takes the lid off the drip tray on the coffee maker.
He sees that the container below has been filled with drips.
He rumples his nose, and goes.

So his father takes out the brimful tray and empties the contents down the drain of the sink.
And a brush, to scrub the residues away.
And then replace the clean tray, then take the plastic grating and clean that too.
There is the smell of old coffee now, It must have been some time since that was cleaned.

Clean the sieve, leave the coffee maker for the son.
Go back to reading the news.
And wipe the cat hairs that are all over the legs of the trousers.
Wipe them away.

Yellow bag day

Wednesday 5th of December, 2018

go down to the back, check the yellow bags. They are

gone. go down the passageway from the front

if the house to the back, and then return. Leave

the house via the front door, there are the waste bags.

The wife had taken them out last night.

There are yellow plastic bags filled with plastic

packaging waste in front of every front door in

the street. Today is the day that all of this plastic

waste will be collected.

Walk on down through the town, to the bus

stop by the big bridge over the river. The main road

there is busy today. say good morning to Dolores

sitting alone in the bus shelter, as on most days.

Count out the money for the exact fare to the railway

station.

Leave the bus at the bus station in front of the

railway station, pass the stands where the hundreds

of bicycles are parked, greet the smoker at his

spot by the ashtray and clime the granite stair,

to the wide entrance with the three doors to

the station hallway. In the hallway, turn right,

and go to the cafe counter. Order one large

coffee and, with this in hand, go to the last

table with a comfortable low stool available

The other stools are too high, They are uncomfortable,

sip the coffee and write notes for ten minutes,

then go out again, this time to the platforms.

On the first platform, the small diesel train

from Rosenheim is just arriving.
It is not full, but still there are many people on board. Maybe fifty. It is a small train.

go down through the underpass to the sixth

platform. There is a lift there, people with huge

suitcases are standing before it waiting.

Take the granite stairs, and then stand on

the platform and wait. The train is slightly

delayed and so finish the coffee on the platform,

dispose of the cup in the waste bin provided.

When the train does come in, join the small group

of people in front of the nearest door, wait

for the door to open and for the people who

are waiting to leave the train to get out of

the carriage. Then board and find a free

seat at a table, continue to write these notes.

The train starts to move, swaying after the

points and junctions in the tracks.

The next stop will be Moosburg.
The doors open, people board the train. There are commuters and a few holiday makers. Now most of the seating in the carriage is occupied.

A young mother walks up and down the carriage, guiding her young son, a toddler up the carriage. He stares wide-eyed at the new surroundings. She then picks him up and carries him back to the seat, where her husband sits with the bags.

The doors open, people board the train.

There are commuters, and a few holiday

makers. Now most of the seating in The

carriage is occupied.

 A young mother walks up and down

the carriage, guiding her young son, a

toddler, up the carriage. He stares wide-

eyed at the surroundings. She then picks

him up, and carries him back to the

seat, where her husband is with the bags.

Dim light

Tuesday, 4th of December

In the dark, wander about the flat. It is three

in the morning, sleep has gone. The cat wanders

about too, this is some kind of game for her.

Sit down, there is dim light from the street

lamps outside the window.

Pick the cat up and put her on the knees, she

is happy for a while. A strange cat. After a few

minutes she jumps back onto the floor.

go back to bed. At five, the alarm on the

tablet starts to make musical noises, quietly

at first, then louder. Silence that. Gt into the

bathroom, have a quick hot shower.

Take the last pair of socks from the drawer of

the wardrobe, and put Them on. The catx is

farming around all the time, rubbing its lead

on every available by, furniture or human.

Leave the house, walk down the alley.

today is the bin day, there are grey refuse

bins in front of every house.

Walk through the town, over

pavements.

smekthe scent of fresh head from the

bakery store.

say good morning to dolores atttebus

BT9E

the wet

Forest

Mon, 3 rd of December,

Walk down the alley, cut the cornerer. There

is now a forest of christmas trees in the

main market, trees to decorate the cafes

in the main street. It is a new fashion.

Seats have been placed in the street, large umbrellas

This evening people will be hanging out there,

drinking hot wine with spices. At the very best,

it will be raining, not snowing.

Walk through this forest, there is a smell of

resin from the freshly-cut green trees.

Walk down the theater street. There is no activity

here whatsoever, it is all deserted.

Say good morning to Dolores in the bus shelter,

and count the money from the purse for the bus driver

The bus is early today, looking back to the town

see the taxi driver approaching. He is just in time for the bus, he is a very punctual man. gGive the

bus driver a large selection of charge for the

fare, all of it carefully counted beforehand.

sit down in the bus, close the eyes for a few

moments.

At the railway station, there is the smoker,

standing bedraggled with the wet in the middle

of the square in the station forecourt. say

a good morning to him. Take a coffee from the

young woman with the yellow shirt and the blue

scarf. sit down, and write these notes.

And at six o'clock, go to platfform 6.

too bad

there is tension in the home today, it is no longer so easy to flee from the mess.
There are
things
lying around everywhere.
Notes
scraps of paper.
tools, used and then just dropped where they where employed.
A mess.

and it would take up all of Sunday to clear up other peoples mess.
Stuff that belongs elsewhere.
The son has been asked many times to clear up his mess.
He will not.

The wife does not see hers as being a mess.
Why bother?
The cat is distraught.
She is trying to find a glass marble underneath the piano.
She cannot reach it
too bad.

weak end

The luxury of it, sleeping long until seven, getting up to let the cat out, the cat making a fuss at the door, go on to the bathroom,  return from there shortly after.
In the kitchen, turn on the coffee maker, fill the sieve with coffee, put a bottle of still water into the machine.


Take the cup of coffee into the dark living room, then go back and fetch the laptop apple and read the news. The news that is both sad and bad, the sale of beliefs, their betrayal,fro no cause other than money.
Not to say that there are no false beliefs!


The day is turning pale grey, the empty cups on the table are becoming visible, colours crepescular dark, the vision allows no light at this low level of illumination. Only the tiny reflection of the window on the rim of the white cup is bright enough to be acceptable as white.
Read more news, then leave it be.
It will be time to get dressed for the day, the cold is creeping into the bones.
Now the plan is made:

Take a shower
Put on the clothes
Ask the son if he wants to go to the cafe today.
See what the rest of the day brings.

Broken glass

Friday, 30th November 2018

Waking is hard today. the app on the tablet is

well into its tune and getting louder by the

time it is switched off.

Staggrirto the bathroom, turn on the shower.

Wait untill it warms, it is cold today. go under

the shower, soap and shampoo, seven minutes.

Then dry the old body, and put the towel onto

the rack.

In the bedroom, put on the clothes for the day,

for Friday, a short day. Gather the things

for the day, take the mobile telephone from the

cable where it has been charging.

Walk through the town, there are delivery

trucks and vans in the pedestrian zone, stocking the shops for the weekend. See Dolores standing at the bakery shop, she is buying her daily bread

Proceed on to the bus stop, and wait there. The

road is covered in chips of broken glass.

There must have been an accident during the

night, the glass is all small and granular, like the glass used in cars always is when it has shattered,

Dolores arrives from the bakery stop, her bag is smelling strongly of warm fresh bread.

The doors of the bus do not open at the railway station, the driver has not unlocked Them. It takes a few seconds. The smoker is smoking his cigarette at his usual place next to the ashtray. 

Good Morning

Journalism

Thursday, 29th of November 2018

The alley is dry, and there is the sound of an

early jet arrwaft approaching Munich Airport.

A cyclist approaches, he is wobbling, perhaps

he is not entirely awake yet.

At the corner of

the street there is a new soup kitchen, and there

is the woman and her bicycle who delivers the

newspapers. The basket on the carrier 't fall

of the Landshutr Tagdlat, the local piece of

Journalism.

Dolores in the bus shelter looks sad and

tired today, she only nods her 'good morning'

today. Slad there, tell out the money from the

muse ready for the fore. Watch the traffic with all

of its bright headlights as it passes. The basis

early today, let the others board first. There

is a bicycle just squeezing vast on the pammi

The smoker at the station, a jovial 'guten

Morgan" And in the station bidding itself, the coffee

is ready practically before cshivg. The Bung

women serving started the coffee waychire is

soon as she saw the tall grey-haired man

round the corner.

sit in the waiting room, start to write this

page of notes. Hear the fidgety man in the

background talking about false gifts for

christmas. Christmas is no longer far

away, my way.

Guten morgen

Wednesday, 28Th of November zo is

The alley is dry today, the rain has stopped, The

snow is gone. That was all just an intermezzo, it

was just a break in the warm weather.

walk down the middle of all the cobbled ways

in the traffic restricted areas of Landshut.

There is the sound of tyres rumbling, an early

delivery van is on the road.

The car is waiting at the bus stop again, slow

the pace, there is no wish to be dazzled by the lights

again. The car is waiting for a man who will

join his colleagues on the way to work, a

full car. This is ecologically sensible, but

it would be nice if he could switch his headlamp

of whilst he is standing still and waiting.

But it is only for a few minutes, before the bus comes

the car drives away. Dolores is sitting in the

bus shelter, wish her a good morning.

Read the news on the mobile phone check the

mail. Nothing much has happened, there are

a few more messages telling that 'friends'

have put new pictures into the internet.

Sit down in the meanwhile. arrivéd bus,

after having paid the driver for the fare.

At the midway station say!"guten Morgen'

to the smoker, and get a large coffee from

the young woman with the mole on her chin.

Find the scarf lost yesterday, it was in the bag

all the line.Drink the coffee and be happy.

Smell of fresh bread

Tuesday 27th of November, 20 I 8

There is snow fitting today, the pedestrian

ways are covered in slush, the pavement

on the roads has been treated with salt, it is

just wet and glistening. Walk over the wet

surface, in the old market part of the town

the christmas stalls have been mtt up. Wildly

expensive, low qiality.

Dolores is standing in front of the bakery shop

this morning, waiting to be served. she is

bearing a fur coat today, she wears that every

year when it snows. Later on she arrives al

the bus stop, takes her usual seat in the bus shelter

There is a smell of fresh bread now, from the

bag that. she is carrying. She wishes a happy "goon Mong“

Drizzle

Monday 26 November

The street outside the door is shiny wet, the

cobbles glisten in the lamplight. The back is stiff, the

legs are not warmed to motion yet. And it is

drizzling rain all the way, a drizzle of cold water

caught by the wind. Put up the hood of the

blue jacket under the brown jacket. Two

jackets, one a hoodie, the other one just brown,

with a corduroy collar.

There is Dolores at the bus stop, sitting in

the shelter. She says a sleepy "good Morning"

There is a car waiting with its lights on. The

headlight is insanely dazzling this morning, it is

unpleasant. After a few moments the car moves

on. The bus rounds the distant corner by the old

gaol, watch it approach, the articulated bus

with the bellows in the centre. The motion of

the rear part makes it move like a giant

centipede. A slight swaying around the corner, the

back end bobbing up and down relative to

the front.

At the railway station the damp cold

weather has pervaded the sweher to give up

his cigarette, he has just turned his back to the

rain and is climbing the granite stairs to

the warm, dry and bright station hall.

The bald man with the beard , working at his usual high speed, has the coffee ready before it is asked for.

green plastic plate

Cat stretch, rub the head on the leg of the human, cat stretch up on the kitchen wooden workbench, claws out, up on the hind legs, stretch the paws upward, dig the claws into the wood.
Cats do not say "Ahh"
They purr.

Remove the empty tin from the top of the dresser where it had been carelessly left the evening before.
Rinse it out under the tap.
Throw it into the yellow plastic bag hanging off the regulator of the radiator.

Open the new tin, pull the ring on the top, the creaking sound of tearing metal.
Cat's excitement increases, back arches, eyes upwards.
Put the sloppy fresh cat food onto the green plastic plate.
The plate that belongs to the cat.

Mouth agape the cat pushes the cat face into the food, masticates.

Then make coffee, and toast.
Drink and eat, awaken.

Read the news.
Then put on shoes.

Say goodbye to the spouse
leave the house.

The purpose is to collect the car from the temporary parking space in the school's parking lot. Normally reserved for teachers only, it is free for use over the weekend. And the purpose now is to preclude forgetfulness this evening, for tomorrow all cars not belonging to the staff of the school will be removed.


Walk through the Sunday morning town.
Grey, closed shops and few people out, walking dogs, taking a walk. One woman flapping along jogging on her way through the town, she is determined.

Pass by the Christmas market, there are people at work applying final touches. Christmas markets are held in almost every town now, Christmas cheer, goodwill, mulled wine and stuff like that. It is all much to expensive, and the wine is of such low quality and so highly sugared that many of those who partake too fondly of it are ill on the way home, leaving the result of their consumption in the streets.

And the music is the same every year- Jingle bells, O Tannenbaum, and  the White Christmas.
The weather is much too warm for all of that.

And after ten minutes walk, find the car and drive back through town, find a legal parking spot not far from home. Last night's revellers have left many spaces free.

LATER

awoken early today by the groaning sound of an untuned radio alarm. Hear it for some ten seconds, th
en hear the son struggle to find the button to turn it off.
And some minutes later hear the same performance again.
It is still dark, there is only the dimmest city light coming in through the window. Grey and sad.
It is raining outside.

The cat complains from the door to the bedroom, it wants to get out.

Get up and let it out.
Gone.
Silence.

The sky is lightening outside, dawn is on its way, dawn light heralding a grey wet day.

There is the sound of a klaxon from the son's mobile 'phone. Hear him struggle to turn it off.
Go into his room, he is in his high bunk bed, Shake his foot, ask him if he would like to get up and go to the café. His answer is a groan, an assent, and the request- LATER.

The weekend will consist of tasks pushed on, pushed ahead, deferred,
Tiredness is an excuse.

mushroom

Friday 23rd of November
Whilst putting on shoes in the small hallway between the bathroom and the bedroom and the entrance to the  flat hear a sound. Look up, it is the son, hi is up early as well. Ask him if he is worried about his school examinations today. He says that he is not, he just woke up early today. He hugs his father, a nice thing to do early in the morning.
There is a woman with a bicycle in the alley today, she is delivering newspapers. These are newspapers for the neighbours, for people that have ordered them. She has a long list, the basket on the back of her bicycle is full of neatly folded newspapers.
Wish her a good morning.

In the main street somebody has put up a parasol. It belongs to one of the cafe`s,  a café that has taken all of the summer furniture away from the street. The parasol was probably erected by some reveller during the night. It is out in the middle of the street like some enormous mushroom.

Go on down to the bus stop. The road works have receded now, the orange fencing is now blocking the path that leads alongside the river.

Glass fibre

Thursday. 22 nd of November

sitting on the cvair by the bed, waiting, then put

on a pair of shoes. The cat silently walks over

and past stands there, beside the bed, beside the

chair, waiting. Reach down and put the cat's

head. The cat purrs, and then wanders off to

the kitchen.

Put the flat phone into the pocket and go out into

the hallway, take the wallet from the small cabinet

on the wall, then comb the hair. The cat has

returned, sits there and looks. Pat the small

animal's head again. Open the door, the

cat remains inside.

The surface of the streets and alleys is

glistening wet, the fog has deposited moisture

evenly on every stone surface. At the

corner the delivery truck form the bakery,

it has finished it 's errands early and is

rumbling along over the cobbled surfaces of

the market place.

At the end of the old town, at the

town gate, the streets are blocked by the

red and white plastic barricades of

the road works. They are laying new

cables of glass fibre to enhance the

public's ability to enjoy the Internet, in

all of it 's many forms.

Wish Dolores a good morning at the

bus stop, and stand there in the cold damp

waiting for the bus to the railway station.

Grit

Wed, 21st of November

take the hot shower, wash the
hair. Just a few minutes, then return to the bed room. This is the

same thing as everyday, every day. Do not

really care for much now, there is so little to be aware of. Sleep was plenty, and yet it was

too short.

Leave the house, it is cold and dry today.

It has not really pained for a long time, the

dry weather has become quite normal. Those

few flakes of snow over the last week will

make no difference. There is less water ammo

than there should be.

-

The street leading to the bus stop has teen

uepaived, the whites all ptdteswrath Mpkcar.

There is just a dust wg of grit ever He

replaced stones, this will go as time passes.

The bakery is being re-stacked, the large

delivery truck has put stopped in the middle

of the road, the driver is unloadingg the

plastic tray g of pre-baked produce. The

sales assistant is helping him. They are both

conversing in load voices in the silence of

the early morning.

A police car speeds in the opposite dorection,

passing close, regardless.

Wish dolores a good morning. She is

well wrapped up against the cold today

62

Follow the red tail rear lamps,as they come closer, touch the brake, as they go farther away, push down a little on the accelerator. There is traffic coming in from the slip road, change to the left lane. The car ahead is close now. The lane to the right fills up, the aggressive drivers attempting to take over the road, to cut over on to the left lane.
Pass the slow truck, there has been an accident, police car and flashing blue lights. There is a glimpse of  a car facing the wrong way with a crushed snout.
The driver had a bad start to the day.

Now the traffic is moving faster again, the car behind is but a few meters away. A person in a hurry. Do not accelerate, do not allow that person to intimidate, do not react with anger, it would be stupid. The many small lights  on the front of the following car come closer, each headlight surrounded by a group of smaller lights, like a luminescent eye makup. They are angry lights. The truck is passed now, check the mirror image and pull over to the left lane, into the dark space there. The white car that had been bullying has now passed, cutting in ahead, onto the left lane, onto the slip road, red lights flare, and it leaves the motorway on the slip road to the airport. The point was: To visibly make an effort and to show that you are in a hurry.
It is unclear how this drivers day is starting.

Leave the motorway via the slip  road for Freising south, and join the traffic on the side roads. There is an industrial area, huge warehouses with proud illuminations of their brands, early morning trucks  waiting at traffic lights.

With all the distraction, overlook the yellow sight for Dietersheim. Use the brakes to slow down as a reaction to the blinking road sign showing the number "62" in huge red letters. A speed warning, this is a village that is right on the main road. Slow down. There are many trucks parked outside a roadside bakery, their drivers taking an early morning break.
It is not far to work now, it is twenty five to seven in the mornig.
And it is dark and cold

blue

it is dark beyond the glass, the lights illuminate the bright flakes in the air. The lights ahead, the red ones to the rear of the vehicle ahead, are haloed hazy by the snow flakes, the flickering as they brighten.
The right foot hits the middle pedal, gently, let the twin red glows of the flat bed trailer ahead approach, it slows more and more, press the pedal some more, the lights stay their distance. It is a trailer that usually has a container on board, it is now moving slowly along the choked Autobahn, sometimes faster than the long string of taillights on the left, sometimes faster.
Follow.
Snow falling, and an overheated car.
Open the window, rush of traffic.
All is moving slowly.

A van from the Tschek Republic has left the road and is lying on its side in the ditch.
There are two police cars there, blue flashing lights a handsome contrast to the long chain of red tail lights.

The traffic is moving more smoothly now, drift on slowly on the way to work.

Listen to the radio, concentrate, the posts on the right hand side of the road slipping past one by one.
Every fifty metres.

?muse

Awake in the dawn, sometime near seven. Awake and go to the bathroom, cross the cold tiles of the hall, over the bare wooden boarding on the floor of the balcony. The bathroom is cold.
So hurry and return to the bedroom
Remember to close the doors, though these are not especially well insulated, but still, every little helps to keep the warmth inside the building.

Sit at the small wooden desk. The one that was fixed up a bit in an amateur way, so that it would become useable and pleasant to look at. So that the writing surface that folds out would remain level, to be useable as a writing surface. Open the little laptop computer, work the keyboard, there is mail.
Delete the seven or eight offers of salacious pleasures, the offers of theatrical sexual pleasures, the professional offers of favours, the false charities. There is an article from the New Yorker on climate change. It is well written, sober, decisive. A call on government to do something.
It is depressing, for the people who elect the government, the electorate, will not elect a government that lets their desires  for today be neglected at the cost of satisfying the needs of the future. Perhaps too, many believe that the ability to move faster will enable them to reach the carrot. Perhaps insane acceleration will compress the stick. Perhaps.

Go to the kitchen, make a cup of coffee. It is peaceful, the family is asleep. The awful mess has been reduced, ever so slightly.

The article is read, the cup of coffee is finished.

What is left to do, but to get up and take another?

daylight

up and all are still asleep, that is habit, habit for earliness, and comfort of the weekend letting things be a little bit later.
Seven in the morning, make a small breakfast.
for one, not for those asleep.
Sit in the kitchen, between all the overloaded surfaces, things used once and left were they were used, a marmalade pot with a spoon still in it, the lid to the left on the surface.
The drip tray of the coffee machine not emptied, the dishwasher open, a few items removed, the remainder not needed, so left in the machine.
There is a bill on the floor, an invoice from a building suppliers. That firm requires cash payment, the bill should have been kept for tax purposes.
But now it is on the floor.

And as time goes on:
And  so see the place in daylight for the first time this week
Daylight is good clear light.
But it is not merciful

And the prospect of all day to fix the situation
is not pleasant

interpretation of the King James Bible

The railway station cafe is efficient again today, the bald man with the beard is back, and the customers seem to have their coffee and whatever else they want before they ask. There is no line, and yet there is a constant stream of orders.

Kaffee, Cappo, Cappo Mitschoko, Latte, Grosser Kaffee.

It all is called across the counter, and the money taken and the acounts settled and the discount cards stamped, all at once, a steady disorder.

But it seems to work.

Sit at the table just vacated by Norbert Hedgehog, he says good morning and goes away. He has a black leather jacket on over his overall today, a knitted cap on his skull.

Watch the  cafe crew, they do brew, and stew make and do.

And afterwards go down the granite stairs in the tiled stairwell on the first platform, along the long tiled corridor unter the tracks, passing the illuminated posters and the witnesses of Jehovah, them peddlers of their interpretation of the King James Bible, and climb a similar granite stair up to the platform No 6.

And the DI eXpress is just arriving.

Board, there is a nice warm seat

ahhh

Friday

Top of the page

Thursday, 15th November.

The bus arrives at the railway station, get up, and

get out. Walk through the bicycle park, there is barely

a path left to follow. The bicycles have long since

stopped using the provided cycle stands, they are

all occupied. A large part of the station forecourt's

occupied with bicycles, standing on their own

stands and waiting for their owners to return in

the evening.

The smoker is there with his cigarette, and

his rucksack. Wish him a good morning, and

climb the granite stairs leading up to the automatic

station doors.

Inside, go over to the cafe and order a cup of coffee.

There are two young Romanian women serving

today.

Take the coffee to a table just vacated by Norbert

Hedgehog in the cafe. Norbert Hedgehog is the

nickname for a friendly worker who always

wears a blue overall. Or a green one. He

has his name on the breast pocket, whatever the

colour. He has been here since this journal started,

on and off for the last five years.

Sit, drink the coffee, watch the man with the

fidgets, rush back and forth, and get his second

cup of coffee. With the illness of the last few

days gone, enjoy the coffee at the small

table, and start these notes by writing the date

at the top of the page.

Water

Wed, 14th of November.

There are ydbw bags out in front of all of

the houses in the alley. these yellow bags unto

all of the plastic packaging waste produced

in the households,

Yellow plastic bags filled with yoghurt

containers, and the foil packaging for cheeses

and the like.

At the bakery by the town gate, there is

dolores coming out of a side street. she

is wearing a knitted cap to keep her head

warm. We say our good mornings →

Wait at the bus stop, the bog cotton

man passes by, on his way to the place

where he always waits for the bus, where

he always smehes a cigarette.

The bus arrives. as does the taxi other.

Wish him a good morning, and pay the

fate.

The illness experienced yesterday has

receded today, but still, do not drink coffee in

the morning. Buy a tittle of water in The

station raft.

And go to work

the night was stomach pain, kept on awakening to hear the near snores and the distant clock in the kitchen. kept on awakening, keep on awakening, a pain in the upper stomach.
Not nice, all that was wanted was sleep.

Then the pain seems to slip down, like a ballon that has lost air. Down into the gurgling guts, now an urgent desire to go to the toilet.
The bathroom, for american readers.
Whilst there, an urge to vomit.
No great result, but feel a little better.

Stay awake until, the alarm sounds, get up, go to the desk, turn the asinine melody off.

Bathroom, turn the shower on. A sudden fit of retching.
Gastric 'flu, or some such nonsense.
No particular reason.
Finish the shower, then make sure that the bowels will stay as they are, 00.

And then go back to the bedroom, put on fresh underclothes.
And the rest of the clothes too.
And go to work.

The bus stop is queasy, the bus is horrible, sit there with the eyes tight shut.
The railway station, just walk past the café, any of that would provoke a disaster, no coffee today.

Instead, wait out on the cold platform, wait for the train to come in.

Work is going to be horrible today.

Ten minutes

.

Mon, November 12

look at the glowing figures of the watch with

dark, there are tenements left, ten minutes

with five.

Just before five the morning, get up and

walk over to the small writing table. Turn on the deskside light, and watt for thirty seconds.

At five exactly, as the church bells sounds 

outside, the tablet lights up, and the melody

starts.Stop written on the glowing screen.Reach down and put the finger on it.

The sound stops.

Go to the bathroom and take a shower,

and return, find clean underpants and socks

and a vest in the wardrobe, and put on

all the rest of the clothes.

gather up the glasses, the watch and the mobile phone from the table. Take the jacket from the hook  in the hall, and put it on. Then the

overcoat, the light one. It is an unusually

hot and dry autumn

'In the alley, a man takes his bicycle and

carries it over the stair of his entrance.

Every entrance has a stair on that side of

the street • The man goes back, locks the

door, returns to his bicycle.

Pass, ignore him, walk across the

grey cobble stones down to

the river, past the stones  comemorating the

victims of injustice in the past. 'those

stones are brass, with inscriptions.

The bus stop, and the attendant shelter.

Dolores sits down in the shelter, a wide

and friendly smile Today. The bog cotton

man, with his gruff greeting.

Later, after the short bus ride, wish the

smoker at the station his good morning. He

has just arrived, he is just taking out his

cigarette.

In the cafe there is a man with an

unlit cigarette in his mouth, a hand

rolled one, the unlit tip is a twist of paper.

97 ekh as the style of cigarettes containing

. hush, or pot. Just smaller. He orders

u coffee with milk.

Take the black coffee to the small table

with the comfortable stool in the corner

of the waiting room.

Start the first ten lines of these notes

good intentions

At the table, the night clothes covered in a dressing gown, for warmth.
There is an empty cup of coffee on the table, along with two empty bottles of water, and a water glass. The coffee is today's, the two empty bottles, the half full glass of water, the scissors, the corner of some milk typ carton that had held apple sauce.
There is also a pencil sharpener, an electronic calculator, a rubber pencil mark eraser and a geometry aid, a triangular ruler.

A pliers and a salt shaker too.

It would be nice if things were not just left lying around, carelessly.
But the table is the only tidy surface in the room

Everything else is covered with the leavings of the son and the wife.
This is a type of loneliness, they are both in bed asleep, despite their good intentions to be up early

pick up the cup and the computer and return to the bedroom to get some day clothes on.