.

 The doctor visit is done, all the examinations are left behind at the beginning of the morning, an hour after they started.  Spent a little period of timein the cafe near the surgery, and then drove back home.

At home, reset the router, It has not been working correctly for some days now. Now it seems to work. Hopefully none of the sons internet activities are impaired.

In the afternoon take a walk in the park, go on up to the top ofthe bluffs and go the long way around to the river. That has now taken care of the afternoon.

old person's cafe

 The thirtieth was a disaster, a single day of depression and sadness. All for no reason. It was yesterday, the highlight of the day was leaving the freezing small flat for a cup of coffee in the cafe and listening to two old men talking shit at the next table, each one trying to be smarter than the next. It is turning into an old persons cafe, perhaps this is aprropriate.

The day was so bad that this blog was forgotten and left until a quarter to four in the morning.

Something is going to have to be done about the status quo.

daily

 The son has turned down the offer to drive him to his university town, the wife has treated the surroundings with ignorance, and ignores her husband. Two people can play at a stupid game, and it is a pain. Breakfast made and eaten, the news is read, and the question is now how things are to go on.

The head is sore and dizzy, there is no reason for this. It is not to be understood.

It will be necessary to repair the car. At some stage it will consume more oil than petrol, and that is not sustainable.

The cat paid a visit today, it inspected the rooms, and then it left in boredom. The cat was fed in the morning, the cat is a grown up cat and the bloody cat should be able to amuse itself.

The days have turned into a staccato flood of impressions, a daily fight with various dissatisfactions.

too much oil, old and tired

 The alarm sounded, realised that the room was the aseptic bedroom of the hotel with the smoke filled reception area. The hotel room was clean, but it was good to be able to leave the hotel at eight in the morning and to take the car over the hill back to the brothers house. All of this was in the middle of the country near Frankfurt.

Have breakfast with the brother, and then go for a longer walk up a valley. It was an old valley with a strong river which used to supply power to many water mills on its way.

Later, returned to the house, footsore and exhausted.

And in the early evening, drive the nephew and his son back to their home in Regensburg.

The car is using far too much oil.

And its driver is getting old and tired.

family day

 start early, shower, breakfast, leave the town behind. Meet rhe nephew in Regensburg, and drive on ro the tny village  of

- BergrothenfelsSpeak to the brother, read srories to

the young nephew..Ln rhe evening spend time in a guesrhouse rhat smells of smoke.It is a long family day

three months

 It is nearing the end of the first month of the year now, there is hardly a week left until February. It was a strange day, the son is forever triying to tell me things but does not seem able to say what they are. Maybe things will work out better after the weekend.

Remembered to put oil into the car engine. The vehicle uses too much oil, it is a nuisance. Nobody seems to be able to really say why.

There were a number of telephone calls to be dealt with. But today is another one of those days where hardly anthing happens at all. Tomorrow there will be a long drive to visit the brother at his house near Würzburg-

And now it is late, it is time to go to bed again, and to be happy that the end of winter will be within three months now.

consider a drink

 Sresdsfsfftart the day with a visit to the doctors practice, and everything goes speedily. Blood is taken, the electrodes attached, readings are made and the blood pressure measured. Finally, a plastic cup with a urine sample is placed into the hatch with the other samples.

Then a appointment is made for the coming week to check on the results, results that will most likely show nothing.

A short visit is made afterwards to the café at the roundabout near the furniture store. A coffee and a roll make up an adequate small breakfast. Return home afterwards and prepare the things for the rest of the day. 

Lie down for an hour.

Then go out and have a meal of Thai soup and then take the car to buy a container of motor oil. Telephone with the brother then call the artists and deliver the final prints.

Have a bowl of extremely good soup there too. Remain chatting for a while.

And now, back at home, consider going out for a drink.

hope for summer now that winter has not started yet

Rose at six with the alarm, and made breakfast, all ready to go and to carry on with the day, and then just the morning collapse, necessitating a return to bed for two hours. It was strange and really nasty, there were major stomach aches and all kinds of discomfort. There is no telling where this really came from. Finally, get up and dress and strart to do the work on the pictures. It is just too cold.

At one in the afternoon go out to get something to eat. It is far warmer outside than had been expected, and really wet. There is great patronage at the Thai snack bar, stay to have a bowl of soup and then walk on to the local coffee merchants and have a cup of coffee.

It is miserable. Just go back home and finish the pictures, that is all there is to do. The pictures for the artist's catalogue are almost ready, they were satisfied with the proofs yesterday.

Life cannot go on like tis, perhaps things will change when summer comes-

Low salt

 For the first time in days, make and enjoy breakfast again.

The prints made to proof the performance of the paper selected by the artists making the commission are done, it remains to be seen whether or not they are acceptable to them. The deep blacks available from the pure inkjet technology are not available on the matt uncoated paper selected by the artists, it is difficult to make a decision. It is not possible to make a decision for them.

That is all for now, the appointment is set up for this evening. Hopefully all will be in order and that will be the last appointment to do with that specific job.

The other artist, it will take time to see what he is up to, whether or not a journey to Poland will become necessary or not. To obtain materials and to record original colours to make it possible to provide a background for the sculptors works.

It is midday, all the prints have been prepared and it is now time to move on.

Perhaps a visit to the Thai snack bar would be in order.

They provide fast easy meals.

Fast, easy and tasty.

Meals that are not as high on salt as the cooking in the local guest houses.

continuing cold

 Impossible to get out of bed today and pointless to stay, the feeling of weakness will not go away no matter how much will power is applied. There are headaches, cold feelings in the legs and there is no sense of being able to concentrate on any thing at all. Get up, and then return to bed.  Take a shower for warmth and this does not work either.  Nothing works properl, it is all pointless.

The cable to load the telephone is broken, This is because it was stepped on in the dark last night. It is good that there is a spare part available.

The sample package of paper arrived today, the question is now whether or not that is the right kind, that is whether or not they packaged the correct grade. There is no easy way to tell which type of paper is which.

The joy of working has gone away with the joy of getting up in the morning.

The cough is a reminder that not all is as it should be

wintry Sunday.

 The cold has not gone away yet, it is staying and being tenacious. Be slow about getting up in the morning, and then wish the son goodbye until next week. He is off to a demonstration in Munich, a demonstration against the latest excesses of the right wing party here. They call it the AFD, but all they are is people who think that they have a right to discriminate, use and abuse other people. There are hopes that around twenty five thousand people will turn up in Muncich to demonstrate. And finally more than one hundred thousand did turn up.

Take the car down to Vilshofen to see the collector. He is at home. but he is ill. He claims that visiting people who had their house overheated is at fault. Consider this, but perhaps it is just more likely that it is a virus.

Talk to him for a while, and then return to Landshut. There are a great many cars on the roads, people are out enjoying a fine wintery Sunday.

Spend time wasting it

Wake and just feel sick and cold. Winter is a waste of time, just make the bed and get up and realise that there is nothing to do except to carry on being miserable. Go to the car and scratch the ice off the windshield, then lock it up and leave it standing there, there is no point in doing anything about it at all. Walk about town, see that the café is full of people standing around waiting for the slow service to deal with them. Cannot be bothered going in there why? The coffee is bitter and nasty anyway. Walk all over the old part of the small town, there are people everywhere, families and small groups. But there is nothing worth doing here, it is a disaster, there is nothing to enjoy.

Go into  a gallery, be recognised by someone and recieve praise for a photograph. Nice, but that was all long ago and it is just boring now.

Go home. talk to the son, be ignored by the wife and ignore her in turn.

Things are not better at all.

nothing for the older generation

 The viral whatsit has not gone away, it is in the background waiting to do its thing. A walk through town, just to get a tiny bit of shopping, is enough to set off the feelings of dizziness and tiredness once more. It is unpleasant. The weather is cold and very wet, everything is damp and unpleasant. That is the way things are in winter. Collect the sons shoes from the cobblers, the soles are stuck down again, there is no being sure as to how long they are going to last now. Return home with a tired winter's headache. 

Lie down again, and rest. The pills and capsules leave a strange taste in the mouth, and the breath rattles among all the loosened slime in the chest.

In the evening see that the son has returned from his studies, he tries to explain the mathematical marvels that he has been involved with, and then gives up. This is nothing for the older generation.

quickly

 occupying a single seat as the sole guest in a Landshit guesthouse, just having partaken of the meal of the day.This is fried potatoes with pigs liver. It was tasty, albeit too salty. The cooks in this part of the world are generous with the salt when cooking. This enhances some aspects of the flavor of a dish, but it easily turns into a dominant feature of the cooking.

The mornings visit to the doctor  was pleasant, she recommended a whole list of medicines. The visit to the cafe at the traffic roundabout afterwards was relaxing.Being ill lets the time move quickly.

Exhausted.

The night was spent listening to the radio, to music supplied by the editors of classical music at the Bayerischer Rundfunk radio station. It is all transmitted online now, the sound is impeccable, even if not high end. Later in the evening some of the Oscar Petersen music was played, the trio with the powerful bass.

Slept on a bit in the morning, and then went down for a shower and to wash and to make a cup of coffee. Returned upstairs to find that the brother had telephoned, he was already under way from Regensburg.

The day clothes are put on and everything prepared, the next call he is in Landshut, and waiting in the café. Give him his picture, and pat his new friendly dog Juri on the head. The dog is a relatively young animal and seems indifferent to being patted and stroked, but enjoys the warmth of the human legs on the underside of his chin.

Chat with the brother about many things, and then return to his car. It has been decorated with a parking ticket, this is annoying. Advise him to change to a different parking spot when he buys a new parking permit, or else he will be fined for staying too long.

Go to a restaurant in town and have a plate of stew each. He has a large beer, take a water for that is all that can be easily stomached now. Chat about one thing and another, until it is time for him and his dog to return to Regensburg.

At home again, lie down and rest.

Exhausted.

home on Friday

 This is the latest day on the miserable slow road to recovery, the fever has withdrawn, and it is possible to  leave the house and return without feeling like death. The only feeling today was tiredness. In the morning, woke up early and then realised that this was purely on account of biological necessity and otherwise not a good idea at all. Return to bed freezing. 

At eleven, the artists call to see how things are and how their current favourite photographer is shaping up. Inform them that it will be a few days yet before everything is back in order again. The brother rings and says that he will pay a visit tomorrow. That is nice, it is something to look forward to.

Shower, then dress, then walkabout town, have a Thai wan tan soup which is perfectly good, and very filling. The bottle of water as accompaniment is an expensive choice. Before the soup arrives the son calls and asks whether his email to the brother was all right in that form. Read the email and see that it is in almost perfect English, just some strange expressions showing that he is not used to using the language on a daily basis.

Ring him back and tell him that this is great and almost perfect. He is happy, and says that he will be home on Friday.

yesterday's breakfast

 Awoke feeling quite good, went downstairs, still feeling good and then there was som sort of slow motion effect. It became hard to think at all. Back upstairs again the thought of putting on day clothes was awful, so lay down again. There was throbbing everywhere, there were pains in the back and the legs were cold. Covered up carefully until a comfortable state was achieved, then slept on until twelve.

Got up, had a shower, found the clothes and felt that it was not that bad after all. The streets are icy cold, take it that it is time to buy an electric radiator for the room in the house. Stop by the Thai place for a small feed.

The plate is huge, it is barely possible to eat it all. Get an extra bottle of water, just to keep things moving. Sit in the place and wait until the upheaval stops. Remember then that the only food for a week before then was yesterday's breakfast

the alternative is bleak

 Last night was spent admiring the hallucinations that seem to happen quite spontaneously. There are no drugs involved whatsoever. There is a cityscape of a large city, perhaps New York viewed from the sea, and a night sky filled with a billion stars and quite a few nebulae and the odd galaxy in the middle distance. This may all sound quite mad, but at least now the various bodily functions seem to be working as they should. It is one of the difficulties involved in living as a recluse in ones own house.

The ice cold shivery feeling in the legs and the arms has gone away, hopefully to stay. The hallucinations will be missed, but you don't get anything for free and a fair exchange is no robbery.

Breakfast at ten. The legs are still very shaky, just walk slowly like a very old man. The current state is actually that of an old man, so this is an interesting look into the future as well. Take the stairs one step at a time. The kitchen is a mess. The wife has been buying food again, but to what purpose? There is no point in having stocks at a percentage if they are not consumed.

The cat comes out from the bedroom, close the door lest there be cause for disturbance, and feed the cat. The cat is attentive whilst being fed. The work tops in the kitchen are covered with things, a family scaled package of what must be ten bread rolls for example. Make breakfast, balancing the plates on the cooker. Take the breakfast upstairs, and settle down to the first meal in five days. It is difficult to get the stuff down, what is normally a light breakfast is heavy.

Eat up anyway, common sense says that the alternative is bleak.

It all got much worse and there he was incapable of concentrating coughing all the time it is so painful. Three days of sickness and temperature .

And there will be more to come this is just too bad.

The room is ice cold,  it is afer all the middle of winter.

Just sitting on the edge of the bed now, writing a few notes. This is the first time in ten years that there has been a break in the daily note-taking.

worse

 It is cold today, and the headache has turned into a sore throat, this is unfair, this is a waste of perfectly good time. The wife left the house early today, and the cat was distraught because there was no food put out for it. Fix that business with the cat food, and then make the usual breakfast, including the last of the avocado pears. The pear has softened so that it is now just right. As right as an avocado will ever be after the journey from the place far away where it was grown.

It is strange to feel colder than it is, it is not possible to get close enough to the heater to drive away the cold. After a while settle down to go over the work, to go over the photographs yet again. Put off calling the printers for advice, not before a certain consistency is established. And not before the proofing system has been tested, at least for consistency even if accuracy without measuring instruments is not possible.

Go for a walk to go shopping and maybe to have a quick bite to eat, to recover from all of these bytes of information. This was not a bad idea, but it made the cold, or whatever it is, worse

tonight, or not at all

 The light outside is just turning the snow-dusted roofs outside blue, it is now around sunrise, it is about seven thirty. The light outside is growing steadily brighter, that even soft light of an occluded winter's day. It was a lousy nights sleep, the pain of not having eaten properly and also haven partaken of two glasses of beer the night before are the root of all of that. The infuriating home situation adds its own ingredients to this revolting sauce.

The son spent most of the night inexpertly washing his clothing, it was always possible to hear the noises of the washing machine and the dryer downstairs, as well as the opening and closing of doors, the clatter of the loose tile in the hall, any slight noise adding to the misery of not being able to sleep properly.

It has been a long night, and it promises to be a long day too.

The bed is still to be made, so resolve that the next lines in this post will be tonight, or not at all. 

It is so cold, there is wind, and it is minus ten degrees. compared to elsewhere in the world this may be balmy, but that is there and this is here.

The son eventually decided to take the train, that saved his dear old dad yet another trip to bloody Bayreuth, the home of Wagnerian opera.

Depressions are a lousy thing, just not caring and waiting to croak is horrible, but,  y'know when youre there it is hard to get away and to think positive thoughts.

more later

 The sun is shining into the small room through the glass of the balcony door. The door has eight glass panes, and the view is of the ancient balcony, the snow covered roofs and the tree covered valley bluffs.

That is cheerful enough, the house is quiet and calm. 

The cat has been fed.

The wife is at work.

The son is at his studies.

Now there is time to catch up on the work that has been waiting to be done all of the weekend. One thing to be done after the next thing,  and one at a time if at all possible.

This is much later now: 

The impossibility of these things is apparent. But there you are, work all day at the impossible and things move, hurdles are cleared from the path, plans and procedures are worked upon to finish the remainder of the work and to further the next project in its turn. Maybe the problem with the proofing has been solved,  a short note to the software firm should solve that one.

The prints of the woodcarving artist's work are done, the pictures are just to discover a better way to take the pictures, a better way to portray the work and conform to the artist's intentions.

Things are looking up, just ever so slightly

And now it is nearly twenty past seven in the evening.

blue to grey

 The morning was a disaster, a sick and unpleasant feeling all the time. It is icy cold and and the opposite roofs are all covered with a thin crust of iced snow.

Force all the feeling of illness into the rear, go out of the house to do errands. Have a cup of coffee on the way, and a roll with Leberkäs, a local non-delicacy. Return home, try to concentrate on a letter recieved from a printing shop, and find that there is no chance of concentration at all.

Leave the house again, go to the locksmith and have a duplicate key made for the artit's studio, the place where pictures of the work he has done are to be made. On the way back, drop in to the Tchibo  coffee shop for a cup of coffee. Somehow, that is the place that seems to sell everything that is remotely coffee related and a number of fashion items as well. They do a nice simple filter coffee too. There is a well dressed dark skinned woman there, her dress, though European in detail is worn in a most African style. It really suits her well.

On the way, go to the artist's studio and deposit the key in the arranged place. Take a few colour measurements with the small colorimeter gadget that works in conjunction with the mobile telephone. The blue on the wall turns surprisingly grey on the screen of the phone.

It is now nearly midnight, time for bed

vibrant

 Today is just a boring  Sunday, day goodbye to the son and wish him well for his coming week in the university in Bayreuth. It is good of him to come and to say goodbye.

Return to the treatment of the pictures taken of the wooden sculptures earlier in the day. It wouLd be great If the colours were not so unnaturally vibrant.

Epiphany 2

 Not a thing is worth reporting, it is a rainy day, and a holiday too. All the shops are closed and tomorrow is Sunday and there is only one egg in the fridge. That is tomorrows breakfast dealt with, there will be no eggs tomorrow.

There was a bag of mouldy beetroots on the space beside the sink today, they just lay there. Ask the wife why, she says it is because she can. There is no knowing what is so great about leaving decaying food on kitchen worktops, it is a subject that may require some explanation. Emptiyng the refrigerator and cleaning things out is not really an explanation. It really is not.

The argument escalates. They always do, they are always stupid.

The town is deserted, cold and wet.

There will be an a visit to the pub this evening, for home is now a misery. The son is distraught, for the situation is so unstable, and he needs stability.

It is a disastrous Epiphany today.

go for a walk

 Two minutes past nine and breakfast made and consumed half an hour ago. There is no mail in the mailbox on the computer, it will be necessary to look later for mail in the post box. There was a sad telephone call yesterday that illustrated the suspicions that people have and the way in which people expect things for free.

The cat was unconsoled this morning, the family was invisible as usual. There was the normal disastrous mess in the kitchen, still, the cat fed, the cat dissatisfied with its fodder, three eggs and toast, a pot of coffee. 

The car is now found, the tracking app has placed it in the usual spot opposite to the police station around the corner from home. That is better than last night, when the app placed the car in the middle of the countryside somewhere. The app can be most imprecise.

And now it is time to put on the day clothes and go for a walk

half a minute past midnight

 Half a minute past midnight, there was a film to watch today in the local theatre, and then the meeting with friends in the local next door. All in all, yesterday is now done and it is time to prepare for tomorrow. The son took the car to return the floor sanding machine to the father in law, and the car ran out of oil at some stage and he then replaced the oil with the oil that is kept in the boot of the car for such emergencies. It is an old car with problems, and consumes a much oil.

The cat wanted attention today, even the cat notes that things are not the same as they used to be

apology for the third

 Seeing the missing post for yesterday leads to the realisation that the medication was not taken yesterday either. It is a strange business to watch things changing and to have the feeling that reality is just drifting away, as if it were hiding in the swirls of daily occurrences. There is no reason for the post of January the third to not be there.

It is time to take the pills, they are simply there to counter blood pressure and to apply cream to the red nose. 

moped

 Thoughts are terrible things when they are left alone to fester. A friendly word will alleviate all the accrued suspicions that have accumulated during a period of silence, a short conversation will dismantle the suspicion that causes ill-will.

The day is rainy, and there is little to do. Return the flat laptop to it's owner and return the battery too. That stupid bloated thing can be returned to a shop, that should be no problem whatsoever.

Back in the old town it is no longer possible to find a parking spot, that is sad and difficult too. Find a legal spot and hope that it is not forgotten. There used to be difficulties like that, but noe that there is a tracker in the car these difficulties are solved. 

It was an unmemorable day, with but a few small conversations the assisting of the son with his purchases for his moped.

His moped works now, and it is ten to midnight.

party

 The party went on into the early hours, from one year into the next. So many people expressed their pleasure at seeing each other, that left wonder as to what ever could possibly go wrong in the world. Yes, there were insects in the woodwork holding up this peace, but they were dormant last night. The laser show put on by the town was bombastic, and the disk jockey was a self-centred performer with his microphone set too loudly.

It was strange sweeping the floor before the party started. It was to take place in an artist's studio, and at ten in the evening the room was full of people all enjoyeing themselves under the strangely lively eyes of the sculptures the artist carved out of wood.

After the laser show in the freezing town centre, there was a performance by a young woman on a guitar, a friend of the artists, a student of his. A drummer joined in and a man played mouth organ.

Everything was good, and everyone wished each other a happy and healthy new year.