the advertisements exaggerated

 Getting up was easier today, despite the strange feeling over the stomach. There was no alcohol taken yesterday, no visit to the pub. Woke up very early, and if it is possible to keep this up it will be possible to take up the long walks again. The pain in the stomach increases, lie down on the made bed and rest.

Spend time printing out the utilities bill for the tenant. Bring it down to her and  then go for a walk. Have a bowl of soup at the Thai place, and then take another short walk around the town.

Later, have a cup of coffee in the favourite cafe, or rather on one of the outside seats in front of said café. Admire the passing traffic, and wonder about the sense of it all.

Then go home and clean up a small part of the kitchen. Test the Japanese scrubbing brush. It is easier to use than scrubbing forcibly. It works, but it is not in the least miraculous, the advertisements exaggerated.

half an hour

 There will be no going to the pub on this evening, the nightly heartburn and sleeplessness are just not worth it. Not today, anyway, that is the decision. There was a midday meal in the Thai place, which really was most pleasant.

And somehow, managed the accounting of the heating costs for this year. It is always simple when it is done, and horribly difficult when it is in the future.

The day was spent with a bit of shopping, but the loneliness of older people became obvious when the realisation came that a half an hour long telephone chat with the niece was the only conversation today.

the heart is not in it

 The morning spent fixing the pictures taken yesterday, no idea what they are needed for.

The day spent ruminating, and walking about town.

what a waste of time.

The son has been in this morning and left again to go to Munich.

And the general depression will not go away.

This is just a short post for the sake of making a post.

The heart is not in it

park the car

 All og the day was spent taking pictures of sculptures, all of them were done using the big camera, the one with all the movements and the bog chip. It is good to practice using this machine.

In the end it turns into a shared experience, each person adding their own thoughts to the matter.

Ler us hope that this all works out.

And at the end of the day, it is difficult to find a spot to park the car.

road trip

It is the twenty fifth day of this month and it is Sunday, a day of rest. Think of the meeting in the pub yesterday, two young people of great intelligence, but still very young. They were a university mathematician and a landscape gardener. And it was lovely to talk to them.

The morning was rough and cold, and it took time to get out of bed and to start functioning.

Eventually, it was possible to sort the things and to proceed with small things around the house. Breakfast was bad, salt and vinegar were both forgotten preparing the poached eggs, and without these condiments the things were very poorly flavoured

In the early afternoon at the cafe meet the old man. He is having trouble with his telephone, he has a Spanish provider, and for some reason the phone does not work in Germany. Give him the little apple phone, switched on for the local provider. This works well. He can now telephone with his friend and find out how he is keeping.

It is possible to hear a very sick man at the other end of the line. He is convinced that he is dying, and there may be some truth in this.

On an impulse, offer to drive the man down to visit his sick friend.

It is a one and a half hour journey, but the weather is good and bright.

Go for a walk with the two old men and leave them together for a talk Take them both out for a drive up to the hills

In the evening, have a pizza in a pizzeria run by an Indian family.

And later, driving home, the car needs another half litre of oil.

slow, dull blunt

 Dull and blunt, the day just progressed free of excitement. The usual difficulties getting out of bed, try a new strategy, showering and dressing and then making breakfast and not in any other order. It works, but it is dull and not very interesting. 

There is work to be done, information came in overnight. The information is helped on its way by two telephone calls. There is a touch of urgency there. Things are nearing completion, it will be time soon to start the next project. 

The small bathroom cleaning device arrives. It is a disappointment.

Midday comes, it is time to leave and go to the gallery for that Sunday meeting. Greet the people at the gallery. Talk for an hour or two, there are plenty of other elderly people trying to be funny. Then, they almost all leave to go to a restaurant next door. Stay in the gallery and chat with the owners wife who has been left alone to mind the premises.

Then depart, go to the café for a cup of coffee and a slice of lemon cake.

When that has been finished, go home again.

Start trying to fix up the taxes, collate the documents and to make sure of all the requirements, to make sure that they are satisfied.

And then, ever so slowly, the day goes to its end

all good

 Waking was difficult and unpleasant today, and upon going to the kitchen found it in such a mess that breakfast was just put off entirely. Made a cup of coffee and took it upstairs, that was all. Ate the pills, that was all right.

tIn the late morning collected the car from the parking space at the other end of town and brought it to the parking lots nearer to home. Then in the early afternoon took the big camera out and went up to  the ceramicists to take the last picture. It was nice to be invited for lunch once more too. It is altogether very pleasant there.

Return home, and suddenly have a need to lie down, Rest for a while and doze. It is four or five in the afternoon when the son knocks on the door. He has brought a plate of sandwiches. 

That is very nice of him.

Then spend the rest of the evening giving advice per email, edit the photos, save them to the cloud and write a message informing of where they are to be found.

The day is saved, that is all good now.

not a problem, not yet.

 And now it is late again and time for bed. The day was spent talking and discussing layouts, making small improvements here and there. There was a nice lunch too, that was nice. In the end, it was all done and complete.

There will only be one photo to repeat over the weekend.  That is not a problem, not yet.

The son was happy to go out for an evening meal. He went to the Indian place, they really make an effort with the service and all.

He spoke about the things that occupy, exams and computers, and all the different trains that he uses for travel.

He spoke for an hour, and then he finished. It was a lovely evening.

Go to the pub and have a beer. 

And now, back at home, see to getting some rest.

too cold to feel well

 The cat called from outside the room, get up from breakfast and let her in. She wants to cuddle on the warm knees and to have her head massaged. The cat is turning this into a daily event. She has done this twice now.

Yesterday and today.

It is too cold to really feel well.

There is  a message from the two ceramic artists.

The meeting with the graphic artist went well.

legal parking spot

 Without any undue optimism let us say that the job has been completed, the job for the artists. It is to be in the hands of the graphic artist tomorrow. 

The day was spent busily cleaning, tidying, and going out for a quick meal. The quick meal was all right, it was enoyed in the Thai place once more. 

Home is becoming bearable, just a little. The wife refuses to talk now, that is difficult.

In the late afternoon, go up to the artists place, show them the layout ideas, and repair the computer. There is a meal there too, enjoy that. And there was a soup to be enjoyed there, it was delicious.

Work in a ceramicists workshop is hard, there is a lot to be done, the kiln needs to be loaded, work that is done with great care. The sculptures are huge, they are difficult to fit into the huge electric kiln. The drive back home was pleasant, and was rewarded with an easily found legal parking spot.

in hand

 The doctor is fast and awfully efficient, he leaves this patient feeling as a side of pork would feel if it could feel at all. The operation was a success, but it did not have the positive results that were wanted.

Too bad is that.

Now there will be more tests and more examinations. Who knows what on earth will happen now, who knows what will be discovered now. It is all a bit worrying.

Spent the rest of the morning sorting things and cleaning things and making longer telephone calls about the unhappiness with the first attempt by the designer. It is too smart by far.

Repair the record player and revel in the splendid sound that this old machine can produce. The high end from a past era. Resolve to try to buy some records at the next possible flea market. Records are long gone really, and now they are returning. 

After a cup of coffee in the café try to find the stall that had the records. This was a special thing outside the music shop. The stall is not there today-

Sad.

Go home and spend the whole evening trying to make a mock up for the artists. It is easier to talk when there is something in hand.

only five

 It was a lovely day for achange. Lef the house early and drove down to Vilshofen to visit the collector. Arrived there at ten thirty, and chat and admire the collection. African masks everywhere, not always what is to be expected.                     

In no time at all it is midday, and after a short chat, take him up the hill to his relatives, where he is invited for a dinner. There is a bird to eat, it is a very large bird, not a turkey, but still very large.

It is also very tasty, spend time chatting with the family, who extended their invitation for having driven the father up the long hill. The father was happy not to have to push his bicycle all the way up.

In the afternoon, go to the exhibition in Hengersberg. It is a nice show of black and white photographs, all made using the old materials.Talk to the photographer, who is busy minding his exhibition.

Then talk to the curator, who shows other parts of the exhibits very proudly. It is a nice small fine art museum in Hengersberg.

And then 

drive home

tired

to find that the internet does not work at home any more.

This is just getting too troublesome for words-

And it is only five in the evening.

three

 Three quarters of an hour after taking the pills the head seems to darken and the vision vignettes dark to its borders and starts to blur. Was it the coffee or is it the pills or is it something else entirely? Maybe it is both, maybe it is both plus some other factor. Last night was pleasant, today is cold and tidy. The bed is made and the rubbish has been taken downstairs to the receptacle, the bucket, which, when full, will be transported to the container for biological waste at the end of the street.

The dizziness comes and goes, there is no idea what exactly is the source of it. The simple cure is to lie down and wait, but this is not a satisfactory answer.

It is ten thirty three now, a second mug of coffee on the table, and the tragic news of the death of a just man in a prison beyond the arctic circle in the New York Times. An autopsy will never be made that proves his murder.

Later, will make the attempt to walk a circuit again. Try to be fitter. Try harder.

past times

 Late now, it is eleven in the evening. It is Friday, and the pub was full. It was a pleasant evening, chatting to an old friend from a town about thirty kilometres away. He had had business in a Landshut, and now just wanted to chat.

Spent the whole evening just chatting, and talking about his work. The man converts kitchens and bathrooms for those with special needs, for people who have been maimed. It is nice to listen to him talk. Of course he wants pictures, and prices, as always, are not mentioned.

The pub is bright and lively, there is a pleasant atmosphere in there tonight.

The day had been spent walking, taking the long way around the park and then pausing in front of the collectors house. This man is the collector of cameras, a man with a great knowledge of this special and most expensive cameras. Give him one of the booklets that are in the pocket of the coat. These are booklets that had been made to illustrate an exhibition, now two years ago.

Walk down to the car park with him, he has a new bus.

On the way back home meet the authors, they are in good humour and past animosities are forgotten.

better in time

 This morning contrasted to yesterday, it was awful. A steady feeling of illness, and an inability to concentrate.

As usual, the whole business dissipated around midday, then things were in order again. It will become necessary to speak with a doctor about this.

In early afternoon tried the soup in a different Thai kitchen. It was good too, but not the same as in the other place. The Thai soup kitchens seem very popular among those thirty years of age and older, the younger people seem to prefer other places which serve more deep fried food.

Speak to the builder, she seems to be giving up on the idea of sending a selection of her work to an exhibition in Berlin. As always, it seems to be the frames that are the problem. She wants nothing but the best for her work, these are demands that may well be overrated. Perhaps she is concentrating too much on the trimmings, and less upon getting the work out. After this, go on down to the cafe and have a cup of coffee.

There is no shape to these entries into this blog any more. There is just a sense of illness now and personal difficulties that will not get better in time.

sequiter

 Wake up and feel better. It must be because it is warmer, so check the temperature using the thermometer hanging on a nail in that outside wall. See that the temperature is just eight degrees, which is not warm. It has been colder though.

Go downstairs, and shave in the cold bathroom. The hair on the face has become stubbly again.

Force some sleep, and take the pills all early. This is a test to see if the sleepiness and tired feelings hitherto experienced later in the recent mornings is may be related. Lie down again, it is barely light outside.

At nine, awake and feel good. Go downstairs, make breakfast, and then read the news. Dress for the day, make the bed, and sort out the white washing from the washing container. 

There is something wrong, this old body and its mind have not felt so well for a long time. 

After having dealt with a number of small morning things ask the son whether or not he would approve of a midday snack in town.

He says yes, and then go out and have such a snack in his company. Try to understand the complex things occupying his mind, all to to do with computer and information theory.

Rubbish day

 The failure happened again today, but not as roughly as yesterday. All the small chores done, there was the mornings collapse after the pills, which required half an hours sleep under the warm blanket. There is a small progress, partly because there was no visit to the pub the night before, there was no beer taken, and bedtime was early.

None of this is exciting, perhaps it is not worth writing about.

The rubbish bin outside the house was facing the wrong way. It had not been collected yet, so turned it around ao that the bin men would have an easier time gripping the handle. A neighbour then to shouted "They haven't been yet" across the street. The answer would have been an expression of surprise at the weight of the receptacle, and a remark that the reason for this is probably the fact that it has not been emptied yet. People are so condescending and helpful.

A jet aircraft flies by overhead on its approach to Munich airport. The sky is clear, it is moderately warm, certainly for the time of year.

failure

 Walk around town, it is dismal and feel dismal too. Meet the charming bricklayer at her job, she is doing the trimming around the window on a house that is being restored. She is very good looking in her way. She wants to do another job and to sell her artwork, even though she does not work nearly hard enough at it. Chat with her, figuratively speaking try to return the ball into her court. Perhaps this will work.

Do a bit of shopping, and then go and buy some new hoodies in order to stock up the supply of clean ones at home. The big stores in town are offering things at reduced prices. It is no harm tryying to take advantage of these offers.

But the attempt to go on a long walk today failed.

Resolve to go to bed earlier and to try again tomorrow.

inverse synergy

 Dissatisfaction with the self and the inability to awaken properly in the morning. The question of whether this is the result of bodily defects or simply a form of despair residing in the mind is stated every morning. The thing with the bodily defects due to age may be dealt with by exercise and discipline, the despair thing will need work. If both are there together then this is probably worse than the sum of the two, Iinverse synergy working away at the destruction of a person. Synergy is usually seen as positive, according to the way Buckminister Fuller defined his neologism. But two slightly bad things can also combine to one thing that is far worse than the sum of the two. Perhaps this is the usual and more frequent way of things.

Breakfast is made and eaten and the cat fed. The pills are taken, then there is the usual tired dizzy sensation. The pills probably do not function instantly, therefore this comes from elsewhere.

People would describe this as madness.

People may be right.

It is hard for a system to evaluate and correct itself.

Sunday mornings cause this kind of misery, once a week.

gas hiss and cats munching

 House-cats require constant entertainment, always need feeding and always need attention. There are theories saying that cats believe that humans are deformed cats, but it is easier to believe that anthropomorphism on the part of humans applies their views of life to felines. Ability to communicate better would be, at its worst, most interesting.

The house cat comes into the kitchen and growls, then starts to rub its poll on various bits of furniture. It displays interest in the refrigerator after having confirmed the emptiness of the cat food dish. After having completed the small and simple breakfast preparations put some dollops from a cat food tin onto the cats plate and then there is no sound but the gas hiss and the cats munching.

Take the food for humans upstairs and sit down in the personal bedroom. This is a refuge after the estrangement from family life and the wife. It will need tidying, the bed has to be made and yesterdays soiled clothing put away. Leave the general cleaning for another day. There is no great news to be had other than a thank you note from the sister in law for a few pictures sent to her a week ago.

It is Saturday today, perhaps there will be time to visit the gallery, perhaps there will be other things to do.

But in general, the situation is cold and depressing

lapcat and laptop

 Waiting for people to keep their promises is probably a waste of time. It appears as if one needs at least five reminders to elicit any reaction, and the most frequent reaction is a procrastination. Nowadays, people lie out of habit.

Lying down on the bed makes starts thoughts of the similar sound of these words of different meaning.

Give up trying to make the faster Internet on the computer work. Perhaps the son will fix it, pmaybe he sees no need because it works for him and the wife. Democratic majority that would be, but reall somewhat unfair.

The cat has entered the room and indicates that she wants to sit were the laptop computer currently is. Move the computer and the cat jumps onto the lap and commences to purr. Scratch her poll, stroke her back, she settles down. Perhaps she is enjoying the warmth from those human legs.

Write this account, remember that this morning the first awakening had been at five. That oppurtunity was used to consume the pills as per the doctors prescription. It is not nice to be feeling unwell most of the time, and to be feeling the chill during this mild winter's day.

The cat indicates that she wants further attention.

cloud?

 The medsage arrived at five that a friend is suffering from cancer. A ping on the 'phone and the news is there. His granddaughter has been kidnapped by the ex husband of his daughter. Legal bills are mounting for him and his daughter.

Bad news at five.

Write a note back, thinking that the man will look at it in the morning.

aTen minutes later the telephone rings, and that is then a two hour conversation.

The fay starts at twelve, and to be sure, feel better for the long rest. Sort out the problem with the computers inability to synchronise with the Cloud, or is it cloud?

Synchronised.

 Time ran away today, it fled before the computer and the slowness of up and downloads At first at home, the souund of concrete pumps from the neighbouring houses and the steady clicking noises from the builders cranes ruined any concentration on the work that had to be done. Then a telephone call with more work of the same nature, and all this for a retired person of sixty eight years.

Spent the morning at home, fixing yesterday's pictures and then took the car back up to the artists to make the formal portraits that they did not think of doing yesterday. And whilst there, made an error working the computer, the result was a two hour wait whilst things loaded back and forth to the cloud. Synchronising, they call it.

And when done, on the way home go to a supermarket and get lost in the eternal shelves selling things that nobody really wants. Buy a carton of eggs, a wedge of cheese and a loaf of bread. Then continue home in the nightly rush-hour traffic.

Let us hope that the job is finished now.

there is no time today

 All that is worthwhile is worth doing, and it is a pleasure to go up to the artists and to take a few pictures of them at work. They need these for a press release, this is a pleasure.

The electricity bill arrives in the meantime. and it is shockingly high. But there is nothing to be done about it, these prices will continue to climb for the rest of this life. There is also the bill from a doctor, that is a worthwhile small sum.

The artists hospitality is splendid, as always. Take many pictures, and take pictures of their cat too.

It is dark again by the time home is reached. There is another small job waiting, a jazz concert in the pub.

sirens

 Woke early, had breakfast, and collapsed again. What on earth is wrong? No Idea as to what that might be.

This morning emptied the washing machine and put the clothes to dry in the drier. This was before collapsing,   The clothes were dry upon recovery. The strange thing is, the bed was made before todays blackout.

Maybe it is the blood pressure pills after all.

Left the house at midday and had a Thai soup.

Made a few prints, as had been planned, and answered an email request. The appointment in March is delayed until March the seventh.

The most delightful thing today was a long telephone call from the son, this was really pleasing. All he wanted to do was to chat. That was nice. It is important to the father, this humble writer.

And spend the last hour of daylight walking in the park, wondering why there was the incessant sound of the sirens of the emergency services all over town 

Sunday

 Sunday, things are better, but they are not good. That is probably just the way of it, getting older has its drawbacks, and it slows you down.

Still, it should not be that slow.

Waking, showering, eating, there was shaving too today.

Try to make a passepartout, but realise that all the blades are blunt, and will not cut the cardboard properly. This is too bad, the only way will be to order new blades. See the son in the morning too, he is busy revising his knowledge for some tests in the coming week. He has not tidied his things, but then that has been the story for the last few years.

At two pm there  is an appointment at the gallery. There is a photo to give away, hopefully this will meet with approval.

unfit

 The sun is now shining outside. The intention had been to get up early and go for a walk, but the internal weakness was just too great, and did not allow for this enterprise. Woke up then, and ate all the pills and made a cup of coffee, but it was no good. It was just too cold, and the general feeling was just not good enough. So returned to bed and cuddled under the blankets.

It is five to ten now, now showered and dressed and feeling better.. That is how the things go. It is saturday morning, perhaps a visit to the rich persons table at the gallery would be in order. Why they say that they had missed this person is unclear. Just sitting there and not talking, is that one way to make an impression upon society? Never mind, it does not matter.

What matters now is the inability to get up in the mornings and to be fit for the day.

perhaps the doctor's vitamins will helb.

Ice forms at zero

 Awaken late out of pure laziness. Enjoying the comfort of a warm bed in an ice cold room. That is exaggerated,  it is not ice cold, it is four degrees centigrade. Ice forms at zero.

At nine in the morning, get out of bed, go downstairs, go to the bathroom and then make breakfast in the kitchen. There is only one egg available today, that will have to do.

Upstairs again, turn on the electric heater and have breakfast. Look up the news, such as it is. It has become apparent that Hungary can no longer keep up its fascist behaviour, it just went on too far and too long. Take all the pills that the doctor ordered, this is now almost a second breakfast.

Make the bed, tidy the room, put on day clothes, and take the used crockery back down to the kitchen.  The day clothes are underwear , a fresh blue hoody and black jeans. Two pairs of socks, as always in winter.  Once down in the kitchen, start to clear away the mess, clean the cooker, and wipe down the surfaces just a bit. This is mainly cleaning up the family mess, collating all the empty used containers for foodstuffs and sorting them for disposal. The cat is bored, and requires attention.

Upstairs, settle at the small table with a cup of coffee and write these notes.

March the fourth will be nice.

 The best news came in the late afternoon, a telephone call to say that the book that had been planned two years ago will go into print today. That is a picture story of an research atomic reactor, and it has been in preparation and lying dormant for years now.

The day was spent editing pictures in the morning, going for a walk in the early afternoon and paying a visit to the gallery. It was all most interesting. It was even amusing, and then remember that the pills need to be collected from the apothecary. They are all vitamings, but they are worth having if they make you feel better.

The midday meal was had at the Thai place, that food is edible and probably healthy too.

Spend time now recovering from the good news. The book will come out in March.