not really more

Wednesday, 31 st of July, 2019

Leave the car in the parking lot, at work, away from the sap-dripping trees.

The car is black and tiny

, there is only space for the bag on the passenger seat, or in the space behind the seats.

The space behind the seats can only be reached comfortably by opening the rear flap from the outside.
It is the smallest car that you can buy.

Probably. Take a cardboard box with some electronic partts from the rear, the back, the trunk.

go to the basement entrance, rememher to clock in with the electronic chip attached to

the keyring.

. Look at the time keeper, it

says fifty four hours. So much time to spend, So much overtime done this year.

Climb the stairs up to the electronics department. The man to see there is called Egon, a nice man with a heart complaint.

Show him the defective parts from the son´s computer, he says that he will see what is to be done.. It is a twenty-year-old

silicon graphics workstation, the son wants it to work again.

Out of historic interest, not really more.

enchanted

Tuesday, 30th of July, 2019

The -

morning was spent explaining Things

In the cellar of the Physics department.

A trainee and his instructor wanted to know

how to calibrate a print material for use

on a computer.

Realise that there are so many small

things to learn and to know about that have

become instinctive, so many small grips,

and tricks. They are both attentive and

ask questions, and the time flies by.

And at lunchtime, alone in the cafeteria

There will be a second short session in the afternoon, later. It is lunchtime, a cup of coffee, a roll and a croissant. The croissant has a vanilla filling in it, very German, and a sugar coating, very sweet. But they are nice, even if they are not at all traditional French. A French person would be desenchanté, or something . And this person would be right And this person would be right. still, the

sweet monstrosities go well with coffee.

And why does the heart heat faster at the

sight of a young woman, a young woman

not really different from all the others,

no more beautiful, no less. Almost normal, yet still the heart lights up.
Perhaps again, someday,

Tuesday, 30th of July, 2019

The -

In the

morning was spent explaining Things

altar of the Physics department.

A trainee and his instructor wanted to know

how to calibrate a print material for use

on a computer.

Realise that there are so many small

things to learn and to know about that have

become instinctive, so many small grips,

and hicks. They are both attentive and

ask questions, and the time flies bg.

9

And at lunchtime, alone in the cafeteria

There will be a second short session in

the after

. A french popes

would he dmsenchante, or something.

And this person would be right. still, the

sweet wonstroit

-ies go well with coffee.

And why does the heart heat futer at the

sight of a young woman, a young woman

not really different from all the others,

no more beautiful, no less. A host

, yetqftaittittekapt lights go.P.ahap.mn#,

escritorio

Monday, 29th July

the light outside is grey, it is nine thirty in

the morning. light from the windows in the cafeteria at 

at work is competing with the yellow  green light from the small suspended lamps over each of the round

tables. The plastic laminate on the tables is

white.

Breakfast, a cup of coffee, a roll and

a croissant. A small luxury at work, a use for the quarter of an hour long break.

The day started with the printing orders

from the weekend, all stuck in the mail,

waiting to be dealt with. Then notes were

to be made of the stocks.

Then telephone calls to suppliers. A quick walk around the building to check on the colleagues, but most

of them are not in. It is holiday season again.

There was a walk through the park

like university grounds to the cafeteria.

The weather in warm, the sky is grey with

cloud and it is raining lightly.

Some people have umbrellas, but really

the rain is not nearly heavy enough for

that. These people have a fear of dampness.

.

remains

pick up a plate on the table in the sitting room, it has a cardboard disc on it , a disc that formed the base for a cake bought in  a shop. The cake is gone, the greasy cardboard disc remains.  Put the disc in the bin for the general rubbish and the plate into the dishwasher.

The kitchen is a sorry mess, theseare the leftovers of the party the day before yesterday. There are the baking trays, still with remnants of pizza stuck to them. Put them into the sink to soak

Then take a walk around the sitting room, gathering crockery and glasses and cutlery. It was the son's party, and the father can clear up the mess. Put the plastic packaging into the yellow bag.
Wash the hob down, and dry it. The bottles of oil and vinegar return to their place up on the glass shelving.

Scrub the baking trays in the sink, soapy sudsy water, use a brush to dislodge the bits of baked in pizza crust.
Dry the trays.
A few more plastic caps into the yellow bag, tidy up the work top, wipe it down.
Put an errant cup into the dishwasher, and then

that is that
Sunday morning.

first rite

awake afirst the wife is asleep, do not know where the cat is aund the sitting room is full of sleeping fifteen year old boys who have been playing with computers and eating sushi on the evening before.

A games evening.

And there was rain this morning, and the air outside is hot and stuffy. Perhaps the climate change will turn Europe into a rain forest , hot and humid.
That is the confusion between the short term and understanding the potential for long term change.

They are all asleep, they were up late.

The coffee from the little machine is good, clear up all the sushi containers, plastic plates and wooden cutlery.  The early morning elation.

Read the news on the computer. That American, white and bloated, has been given a licence to turn his country into an aquarium, those outside look in and those inside look out.

The first yound boy is awake, and he goes to turn on his computer.
First rites in modern times

toc

Friday, 26th of July, 2019

settle down on the old

office chair in front

of the secretaire abbatant. A paw is placed

on the right knee by the cat, the cat who looks

up out of the darkness under the writing

surface. Just two eyes and the whiskers

really visible. Then, eye contact established,

the other paw is placed on the knee and the

cat leaps up onto the lap.

Covers the hair, the head. It is warm

already,

The air, and the cat hair sticks to

the hand. The cat is delighted with herself,

purring in short snorts.

Wipe the hands so that the small mass of cat hairs make a small furry ball, then throw this into the waste paper basket.

The cat on the hnees, but now it is time to go-F lex the legs, the cat feels this, knows it is time to go, and jumps to the floor.

The noise is "toc.'

Then, in the kitchen, open a fresh tin of cat food, and give her a spoonful. She loves

the cat food, when it is fresh and warm.

Make a cup of coffee, and think of the

small black car, ready to go.

The start of a working day  at the end of the working week.

round

Thursday, 25Th of July, 2019

sitting in the cafe at work, watching a few

colleagues who have time off too. A tray with

the packaging of the roll with cheese, and the paper plate upon which the croissant with vanilla filling had rested. And a cup of coffee, black as a humour.

It is a small round table with green legs,

and it is surrounded by green and blue chairs. There is only one occupied, of course

The chairs are round as well, and their

backrests are wrapped half way around the seat, leaving them uncomfortable, the

ends of the back rest may have been though, of as a sort of armrest.

They are not much else other than uncomfortable and awkward.

Styling from the seventies of the last century. system furniture.

Uncomfortable and unpractical. The dream of an architect,

making everyone sit on circular chairs in front of circular tables.

It is a quarter to ten in the morning,

work time has been going on for a few hours now.

And in a few hours, that will be over too.

go to Africa

Wednesday 24th of July.

Up and about, put together the collation of

things for the day, the watch,

the bag. the number plates of the old car are in the passage

by the entrance to the house. The cat purrs for

attention, but after a few short pats on the

bony head she moves off again, switching

her tail elegantly back and forth.

It is ten minutes early, decide to go for a

shower, as usual

, as almost every day.

after looking into the mirror, decide that a

shave would be in order, first, and before

the shower.

The warm water of the shower wastes

away

the stains of sleep.

And the soap from the shaving, down the

drain.

Put on the clothes in the bedroom, the

day is already hot, it is only half past six.

And whilst making the coffee recieve a big hug

from the son , just woken up and left his

bedroom.

A nice start to the day.

Some time later, a short drive in the

newly-repaired car. The waiting room of the office of the car registrar- Take a number from the machine, there is one man there already. The number has "504" written on a slip of paper from the

machine.

sit down, write these daily notes untill

the number comes up on the screen.

.

and then go away, from the comfortable

waiting room, down a corridor. Give

the papers to the man there, and the plates

Pay the money, the car that transported the

family for the previous six years does not

exist any more.

On paper.

The man who bought it said that it will

go to Africa.

Maybe to drive again.

cat is thinking

the head has it's dizzy feeling, a feeling of sickness and nausea
again
Again
the sun is up and bright
the son is up, preparing for his day , an outing with the school
a cup of coffee, from fresh ground
tinnitus hiss

Take a shower, the hiss from the shower head drowns the hiss in the ear
the warm water seems to calm it, just a bit.

Cannot stay in the shower forever.
Use the towel placed on the washing machine to dry the head the hair and the body.
Breathless.
Remember the young woman in France
eager for company, eager for money,
remember the small grant given, a refusal of the offer,
and the wish for a good night's sleep.

That would have been good last night too.

In the kitchen the son is making his sandwiches,
packing his bag.
he is excited and ready to go

Stay at home today, for maybe it will be better tomorrow.

The cat jumps onto the ledge of the open window, looks down into the street below. There is the sound of a child's voice outside, a girl. The voice changes, and hear the exclamation
"oh a cat- it is looking"
Going by the sound of the voice alone, the little girl thinks that cats are good.
The cat stretches her neck to look down into the street, to peer straight down,

No idea what the cat is thinking.

sleepy

leave the house, go down the alley to the church, the huge high window looking down at the cobbles. It is bright s.unny hot weather, the head is hissing with tinnitus, people are around everywhere, all talking with shrill voices. There are many more women than men on the street now..

Under the cool arcades there is the entrance to the doctors surgery. The reception is on the third floor.

Talk to the nurse, show her the finger, the one that was so badly infected.She says that it is surprising to see it in such good condition, it has healed well.

She says come back in half an hour.

Ok.

Go out and buy an ice cream

then eüllül++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++w++++++++++++#############################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################################ä

fall asleep on a park bench.

Return just in time to wait in the seriously overheated waiting room.

terminator

Rain, very welcome, the sound of the drops falling on the leaves outside the window. That is something relaxing, cool, the air is rich and breathable.
There is no other sound but the sound of bells outside. The distant sound, then closer ones.
And somebody is listening to music in the neighbourhood, hear the sound of the loudspeaker music muffled by the walls of the surrounding buildings.

An aircraft flies past overhead, the sound of jet engines.
And there are more sunday church bells in the distance, the churches calling the remaining faithful to prayer in the nearly empty churches.

Another aircraft overhead.
Holiday makers returning on a Sunday
To be ready for work on the coming Monday.

Sit in the bedroom, at the small secretaire abattant,
type away at the silver machine
a few short notes to start the day.

more bells
The wife is asleep
the coffee made
The son is playing at his computer.

Time is creeping on
and the soggy weight of foul depression has lifted
do not call it out, for it will be back

just a little bit more on every side

Go into the café with the son, the one that is attached to the bakery shop. The black haired woman is serving a fat woman who is making up her mind as to which cream tart she will buy today. She is thinking out loud, asking questions, weighing her options. She apparently only wishes to buy one, but which one.
She goes on and on and then: the decision.
The shop woman asks whether it will be anything else.
Of cours, off goes the woman again, trying to make a decision.

Take a croissant, and a cup of coffee, and the son has a cream cake and a milky coffee.

Sit and discuss, and talk.

A man parks his huge American sports in front of the door.
He comes in to have a cup of coffee and a roll.
Ask him if the american cars that he drives are his hobby or his profession.
They are his hobby, they are his passion.

Big, powerful and expensive.
just a little bit more on every side
He turns out to be a right wing monster.

CAPS

the blue car
take the blue car
the small black car
is an unreliabele car

the town is quiet
six in the morning quiet
the silence  of people asleep
and the quiet of those not yet fully awake

Sawtooth rhymes
a strange sound
the blue car works
the motor whines
but it works

the church square
the tunnel
a red traffic light at the beginning and a green one at the end, a green light at the end of town and never stop untill the next town, a red light in Moosburg.
Then pass Freising, Achering, Mintraching.

Garching.
The pebble parking spot there, and the timestamp clock
Fifty five overtime hours
that is more than a week.

The office, there is work to be done, that came in on the email over night.
Tap the keys.
The injured finger, the one that was operated on, forever hits the caps lock.

An injury makes presidential style comments.
Indiscriminate Caps Lock

town

now it is Thursday, the alarm is given no chance to sound, it was the five bells of Saint Martins. Press all the necessary points on the screen to silence the alarm, go to take a shower.

Same as every day.

Socks and pants, pack a spare set of clothes for work, there are plans to fix a car, and who knows, car engines are not clean. It may be good to have a spare set of clothing.

Not to appear as a complete and utter fool.

There is no cat food today. The cat does not know what is going on.

Sorry, cat.

A cup of coffee in the home in the morning.

That is luxurious

and comfortable.

Take the cardboard box with the tools in it,

Take the bag with the clothes,

Take the usual bag.

And leave the house, walk through the town, the town that is all fresh and new in the morning.

Yellow

Yellow markings on the road, supersede the white markings. They use them as temporary guides for the traffic when the roads are being repaired. They mark the changed routes the cars and the trucks are expected to follow.

The Autobahn is being resurfaced, and all of the traffic has been moved over to the one side of the four lane highway. There are still four lanes all narrower than standard, but two of them are much narrower even than this.Only two metres.

The truck ahead is weaving to and fro, it is huge, and there are only centimetres between it and the car, between the car and the temporary barrier between the two directions. It is tight and it is worrying. Touch the horn, let him take notice.

He blows the horn back.

And leaves the road at the next exit.

A big and powerful articulated truck.

And that is the way to work today.

The first and only communication.

It is now seven minutes past seven, sitting in the office, and write these notes.

railway

Lo
there is traffic on the road, hundreds of cars, and trucks.
The long diversion at the building site on the motorway has changed sides, now the other side of the road will be dug up and resurfaced.
Ten kilometres of tight traffic moving at a steady sixty, almost bumper to bumper. Cars of all kinds, all valuations and all classes.
Ten minutes of purgatory for the impatient owner of a fast car.
It is only ten kilometres long.
A five minute delay
A disaster for those who are impatient.
It is the motorised journey to work.
Think of returning
to the use of the railway.

Foucault

it is seven thirty in the morning, drive over the gravel parking space at work to a parking place as close to the back entrance as possible. It is a temporary parking space, it will be turned into a sports ground for students again, as soon as the new buildings have been completed.
They have not even started building yet.
Leave the wife's blue car standing in the parking space, walk past the container for liquid nitrogen, and enter the vestibule of the small physics department, due to be demolished , as soon as the other building which has not been started yet, is finished. There is a long pendulum in the vesitibule, it takes almost two seconds to complete a swing. It has a big circular dial underneath it, like the rose of a compass. And the direction of the swing changes during the course of  the day. It is hanging in the stairwell of the two storey building,
Foucalt's system, he was able to work out the circumference of the earth by observing a pendulum like it.

And they measured it.
And there were problems with the steel in the ground, the steel to reinforce the concrete.
A magnetic disaster.
And that was that.

The stairwell is round the stair winds it's way around the pendulum once.
Leave the swinging device behind, walk on through the tunnel on the bridge betwwn the two buildings.
Enter the office,
Turn on the apple computer.

Monday

no sense in sentences

grey
the hair
the sky
the feelings
nothing special
nothing loud
Grey Sunday
Sunday.

The cat
three coloured
wants food
boring
boring
Feed the animal
make coffee
Sunday morning
monosyllable
Waken, look out
The day like other days
not going anywhere.
not to see anybody

No friends here

The son turns on the oven
at half past seven
that is now
he wants to heat up a cake
for Sunday breakfast.

And nobody will clear up the mess
in the house
in the head

there will be more

seven sixteen in the morning.
The time written on the top of the display says so, all the news has been read, all the news about the madness in the world, the rudeness of people towards each other, the contempt that humans have for those of their own species who hold different ideas.
And this is all normal.

A grey overcast day outside, a saturday morning in summer. Cars rumble over cobbles in some distant streets, pigeons call out their coos, and their is the creak of a flight of swans flying over the town from one water hole to the next.
The family is asleep, the son has slept on after having turned off his alarm clock. The cat has fed, and has gone back to sleep as well.
Above the clouds a jet airliner passes by.
It is not cold.
But it is a quiet morning


Will the times return where there is more to say?

no warning

a little bit later makes a big difference
awake without the sound of stressful alarms
no violence to sleep.
It is early, but it is later than usual
Five thirty.
Shower
Get dressed

Let the cat in
the small triangular face with the big eyes in two corners and the whiskers projecting from the third.

She jumps.
up onto the knees, lets herself be petted.
Then down again, she wants to be fed.
Get up, cross the bedroom, enter the kitchen, switch on the coffee maker open the refrigerator.
Take out the catfood, place some on the plate.
The cat shows interest, then feeds.
Make a cup of coffee
relax.

Read the news.

There is no suspicion that the car will break down on the way to work today
it will cause a two hour delay
you do not know what will happen and there will be no warning

voice

up earlier than that alarm, get up and turn it off, tap the spot on the glass of the tablet.
go to the bathroom, take a hurried shower.
remove the silicon thing on the finger, a thing to compress the little finger just a bit to prevent fluid filling the space under the skin where the surgery had taken place. Now the water is hot, soap, relax.
the day is starting.

The cat is waiting outside the bathroom door, all impatient. She wants to be fed.

The tin of catfood, the coffee maker.
All part of an early morning now.


On leaving the house a very old woman with a stick is standing there. She is frail, and her walk progresses slowly. Wish her a good morning, she looks astonished, and wishes a good morning in return. She has a low voice, careful and cultured in speech, clear as a bell.
Her voice is younger than she is.
Smile.
Hurry on to the car, waiting in the parking spot.

up too early

Sound of a horn in the distance, the regular two tone sound of an emergency vehicle on it's business. The sky is clear, but for a few altocumulus clouds, high in the lightening sky. Light from the sun, just risen, is whitening one corner of the sky, there are clouds of steam from the atomic reactor there. Power production, emergencys, now a pigeon cooing madly, trying to attract attention.
This is all small, local, this is waiting for time to pass.
There will be an appointment at the physiotherapist's in two hours, at nine.
Miriam the cat has been fed, the little carnivore is sleeping now.
The son is sleeping.
The wife is sleeping.
The whole town is probably sleeping.

But for the emergency services, ambulance, fire brigade, police.

life, destruction and order.

A crow is cawing outside the window, there is the sound of a heavy car engine making speed along one of the cobbled streets of Landshut.
It is early morning still, and out of habit, cannot sleep.

Showered, read the news, and there goes that pigeon again.
The news is frightening, moloch nations brought to madness by the cancer like machinations of their ruling classes, the madness of power, the primate of greed, all kind of hopeless.
And hard to understand from a distance.
Up too early, could not sleep.

black

the cat climbs onto her human's lap, and lies down, her head to his knees.
Her head is scratched, feel the bony skull underneath the fingers.
She makes a steady purring sound now, if her head is not scratched hard enough she pushes it agains the fingers.
She appears to like that.

After a while, get up.
This has taken too long.
Hurry now, gather the things, the mobile phone, the bag.
Leave the house, there is the big woman from two houses down the road. She is walking her tiny dog.
Small, black and smooth haired.
She has short smooth black hair too.

The little car is where it was left yesterday.
It is smooth and black as well, but of course it has no hair.
The weather is cool today, the dysfunctional air conditioning will not matter.

And there is the sound of rain outside.

There is  a new clock on the wall. It is almost one hundred years old, an electric clock, made in France.
And it works, careful coaxing and adjustment doing the work. It will need a minute drop of oil, then it will be perfect.
Seen that way, a good purchase. It was sold in Le Havre, once. A clock shop there, most likely. But now it came by mail from the south of France, well packed.

And now, as every weekend, alone in the living room.
It is the son's birthday today, he is fifteen.

He is awake, his birthday greetings and a birthday present are presented.
Thank you.
He is happy and he is well.

The clock ticks, a soft noise
And there is the sound of rain outside.

It would all be in order, were it not for the depressing mess all around.

There never is

Return from the café , and find the son preparing for a computer show. He is using the entrance way to the house, he has washed the floor for the first time ever.
He is preparing tables to show the ancient computer hardware on, people will pass, and look in and see. There will be a rock concert in the street, blues and rock, old persons music.
To reflect the age of the people on the street.
There is already the sound of bands warming up in other parts of the town, all the local guest houses in the area have put tables out on the steet, it is sunny and it will be a most active day.
All is done.

Sweep the floor.
It is nice to work, to do things.
There is no reason to be depressed.
There never is.

plant

The small solar lanterns outside the window are still illuminating the yard. The led light sources are surrounded by balls of cracked glass, causing yellow patterns on the walls in the blue of the pre dawn light.

Go to the bathroom, shower, brush the teeth. Leave on the watch by mistake, but never mind, it is supposed to be waterproof.

The cat is waiting at the door to the bathroom. She wants. Exactly what, is not clear.She rubs her back, rolls on the ground.

Bedroom, fresh shirt, fresh shorts.

Kitchen, coffee

read news.

That's it.

Leave the house.

At the police station, two police approach.

One is carrying a long potted plant,

his colleague, young blond carefully dressed policewoman, is happily explaining something to him.

Perhaps the plant is to decorate his office.

Walk along the street.

There is the small black car. It seems to be allright today.

No way of knowing exactly why it stopped yesterday.

Take the road to the tunnel, the first leg of the jornex to work.

fancy paintwork

Leave the tunnel behind, the long straight road  alongside the common ground, now being used as a parking space.
The road is being remade here, the surface has been removed on the right hand side, the traffic is restricted. There are yellow markings stuck to tar surface to guide the way. They supersede the old but permanent white markings.

Upon leaving the town turn on the cruise control. It is a tiny car, but it has these luxuries. Roll on at a rock steady one hundred kilometres an hour along the big federal road.
Bundesstraße elf, for those that want to know.

And that is the method to get to work, half an hour on the roads of Germany, all the other drivers want to go faster than they are allowed to.
Even on the motorway, the German Autobahn.
There is a construction work, half of the road is closed her as well.
And they all drive eighty where sixty is allowed. They would jostle, where it not for the fancy paintwork on the cars.

journey to work

sit.
cat claws on the knees.
Cat's face looks up,
and then with one movement, graceful,
she jumps onto the knees and holds her head out to be scratched.
And that at quarter to six in the morning
She lies on her owner's knees
appreciative of the attention.
When cats purr, they are appreciating something.

But really, she wants food too,
She wants to be fed.

So to the fridge, put out some cat food.

Fill the coffee machine, with water and coffee powder
An early cup.
A human awake
A cat content
A journey to work to be made.

Rain

Rain falls outside, making noise on the leaves of the plants in the yard, hitting the concrete ground with a hard noise. Cool air flows in throught the open aperture of the window. The day starts well.
No, seriously; it is cool and damp not hot and dusty.
Rest in bed for half an hour more, until it is quarter to six. There are bells sounding in the background, three bells, three quarters of the hour. Take a shower , the bathroom inhospitable. Wash teeth, brush nails.
Return to the bedroom, pick out the clothes for the day. A fresh shirt from the wardrobe.

Morning coffee from the little machine, bought second hand online years ago, still serving well. There is the sound of a dumpster from the open window, the flashing orange light on the big truck with it's crew of three. The noise and the light pass, return to the relative quiet of a weekday morning.

Today is the day for the physiotherapy,  at nine a small woman will bend the little finger, check it's function, inflict pain with a small ball-headed needle. It is all for the purpose of resoring functionality to a finger that has been cut once and operated on three times.
So be up early out of habit, there is no harm in it.

The cat is up, she seeks attention.
as always.

hot forgot

a day forgotten, the sad long tour into the office the same as those of last week, the traffic full and of Mondays, selfish Monday drivers.
Find a parking spot between two huge cars, right tight, but in front of the building.
It is a tiny car, and it was cool in the morning, early.

It is worse now, it is hot and stuffy.
And there will be a thunderstorm soon, today, and the question is whether that will be a final change to the weather, or whether or not it will be as hot again.
Tomorrow.