Peace and quiet

 it is hardly possible to awaken early after the biannual clock tampering, an hour to the fore and then an hour to the rear.

The sun shines earlier now, that is the light behind the fog.

The hissing in the head is still present, pwrhaps all is true and what the doctor said is right. It will never really go away. But the reality of the morning is the breakfast, that peaceful solitary meal at the beginning of the day, the coffee and the pills, exactly the same as every day. Have a shower today, the water is nice and warm. Perhaps the day will be a warm day as well.

The silence in the mornings is pleasant.

Peace and quiet.

pizza breakfast

 awake and there is a knock on the door and there is the son with a pizza. He has obtained an old electric kitchen stove, he spent yesterday cleaning it and today he tested it by heating up pizza, just to see if the device will get up to temperature.

The pizza is quite in order,  It is hot.

The son is pleased with himself, the stove is for an alternative group that he is part of.

Really, it was nice to have been awoken that way.

The cold and the hiss in the head has got worse, think about remaining in bed and just listening to radio all day. Perhaps it will just go away.

winter's misery

 The hiss in the ear or is it the head? Is the ear picking up things in the head or is the ear sending hissy signals? It is not to be said, but it would be nice if it would just go away.

Many things would be nice if they were to change.

The exhibition is running, and in just under three weeks it will be over.

In a month there will be a flight to Ireland.

And that is the way in which the time elapses, passes and goes away. The throat is sore and there is a cough, this is just the winter's misery.

when there are several people talking in the room.

 Awake, and as soon as it is nine try to make contact with the insurance company. It is a long wait hearing lousy music, five attempts, three times just cut off, it is a silly business.

Leave the house and go to the car to fetch some papers. Upon returning, try again, this time using the number from the internet. At the third attempt this works, and after a short chat with a woman who becomes increasingly friendly the deed is done. The car is insured now, all is finished. All done!

Spend the rest of the day walking around town, drink coffee in a bar, enjoy the sunny autumn weather. 

A waitress in a bar congratulates on the exhibition, says she loves the pictures. That is so nice, it really is.

And in the evening do a hearing test, the hearing test establishes that there is no discerning high notes any more. That system has gone. The tinnitus does not help. But the technician who checks the ears is a very charming young person, she really is good at her job.

And she is able to explain why there is no understanding when there are several people talking in the room.

test drive

Bed is fine and in the light of the morning the windows are all fogged up, it is all a matter of routine now, downstairs to the toilet, into the kitchen, cook breakfast. The son is at work in the sitting room, clearing things away. More power to him.

Upstairs again, go over the list of used cars. It seems that there is nothing left out. Finish breakfast, leave the house.

It is a lovely morning, with the light softened by fog and mist. The old town looks soft and picturesque, people hurrying to work everywhere. Cross the first river by the footbridge and then the second. After a while, there is the third bridge, and after walking some distance through the industrial quarter, there is the car salesman's place, go in and chat.

The chat is worth four hundred Euros, that is a worthwhile saving.

The car is in a store, go to look at it. It seems all right. It is just a matter of a test drive.

No guarantees for such a cheap car. It is old and has driven great distances. But nothing goes cheep cheep and it is not expensive.

So there, so bought.

vacuum cleaner

The son has left his alarm on and is continuing his beauty sleep. The alarm is a radio that is detuned, all that is to be heard is static and occasional voices. Open the door, wake him, and tell him to turn it off. He sleepily complies. Today there is a headache clustering over the left hand side of the head, occasional jolts of pressure and sharp pain. The eyesight is bad today as well. Finish making breakfast and bring it upstairs, and that is the highlight of the morning. Somebody is hammering something in the neighbourhood. It is an arhythmic sound, nails being driven into some construction. It is loud.

The attempt to start the dishwasher failed, on account of there not being enough salt in the container. The glass jar in which the salt is normally kept is empty, so that is that. Go out to the shops to buy a box of dishwasher salt and some carpet cleaner.

Spend half an hour trying to decide which of the various types on offer would serve the carpet at home.

Return home, put the salt into the dishwasher and spray the carpet with cleaner. Understand that the cleaner will take many hours to work, then to be removed complete with the dirt by the use of a  vacuum cleaner

worth the effort

Yesterdays pullover turned up again, it had just been lying on the washing machine, hiding in plain sight. Yesterday was a disaster, of sorts. A long train journey, the train twenty five minutes late. The change at Plattling was no problem, the green local trains were frequent. The change to the regional bus service was a disaster, the bus station had indecipherable plans. and the whole area was filled with destitute people , many of them smelling strongly of alchol, and none able to put a sentence together. The bus drivers could not give any information either, and back at the railway station a woman behind the counter there was only able to tell me when the bus would leave, not where.

And it rained heavily all the time, everything got soaked. The rain jacket from the non food part of the supermarket was leaky. It just poured down out of a low grey sky.

After half an hours search an italian bus driver gave the necessary information.

Was it all stupidity, and if so, on whose part?

The journey to the emergency service garage was without any event. Their bill was really high, and the man who collected the car had no receipt. It was all strange.

And the return journey entailed two and half hours standing in the rain until the bus came.

It was all a strain, and for no profit at all.

Early today, early breakfast, listen to the son's alarm clocks in the background.

Breakfast was good, the drone in the head was bad, and reading a strange email from a strange friend leads to the realisation that this friendship may not be worth the effort.

go

The nuisance in the morning is the discovery that a pullover is missing, it must have been put down somewhere. Too bad, with some luck it may turn up again.

The eggs are overdone today. There is no chance ever that this person will learn how to cook properly.

The weather is warm now, it is actually hot for the end of October, and now we can all speculate as to how the Indian summer will be at the end of November. Sunny weather for December, the only snow will be the fake snow in the shops. But who knows what the weather will do in the future.

Sit in the morning and digest, the news, the breakfast, and all in anticipation of a railway journey today.

The bags and the shoes are all checked, now is the time to go.

There will be a walk up to the station, then the short wait for the train and then an hours time to wrestle with the story of Finnegans Wake.

year zero

 An american artist on facebook left an opinion some days ago advocating the "taking out " of some Iranian politician of note using a remotely controlled missile. The claim was that this would be for the good of humanity, the thought that occurred after reading this madness was that it would be good for that humanity as defined in the first words of the American constitution.

The thoughts circling this madness destroyed last nights sleep, it was only possible to catch up early in the morning and now it is nearly ten. The rapid breakfast has been made, and eaten. There is no news to read really, Xi has won an election in China, anything else would have been a surprise. No real news is available online.

Think about that madness again. The only reply possible was to underscore that the idea is immoral madness, it is the approval of murder. The quick answer "that begs the old question. If you could go back in time to when Hitler was a child, would you kill him?" destroyed yet more sleep.

Upon clearing up the breakfast things think of time travel. Time travel killers, who would return and commit child murder on any person who turned into a mass murderer in  a particular future. King Herod would be a rank amateur with his murder of the innocents in the year zero a.d.

first!

Too much sparkling wine and too much beer and up to late, a successful opening a lovely party and a pleasant late evening out. It all added up to a major personal success. A crown upon twenty years of work.

A presentable show that will run for a month.

Now the work is done and finished.

Time to start the next job.

But get rid of the hangover first!

a warm Autumn day in the last third of October, 2022

 The event planned for this evening will not leave the tangles of the mind, and no constructive thoughts are possible. Even now, at a quarter to eight in the morning, breakfast done and eaten the concern is there. It is not a thing to be taken casually, even though it is unimportant when seen in a wider context. 

The son has apparently developed a passion for washing machines and cleaning his clothes. In a last-minute operation today he has started the machine early, it must have been around five in the morning, and he probably intends to put on the freshly washed clothes for work today, as soon as they have left the dryer.

The clock is ticking on, and there are things to be done, things to be readied for the day. It is good that the day will not be cold, even though the time of the year would dictate that.

This is no more than a warm Autumn day in the last third of October, 2022.

Time for a sleep

 After breakfast and punctual at the appointment in the the bank it was easy to see why the woman had made it to manager of the branch. Polite and rapid to explain things that are hard to explain, she still does well.

She makes her sale, it is of no real import. The cash is at least better off there than on an account being gobbled by inflation, the decision is one of those so called no brainers. She is clever too, she convinces her customer that it is sensible to leave a large proportion of the money with the bank for the time being, to be transferred regularly to the investment account. 

Let us see what happens.

Breakfast was good today, and the appointment at the gallery was oK.  The man wants to talk about his artist for eight minutes, and those eight minutes are what all the questions are for.

The whole business is still twenty one hours away. 

Time for a sleep and a walk to the barbers.

appointment

 three hens eggs again,  breakfast for one, the news is not exciting. All these things in the style of a telegram. There is an appointment at ten, the medicines are taken too. The medicenes are just the pills as per doctor's orders and a glass of water.

Read the news with the whistling in the right ear, a steady hiss that impairs hearing. Through the open window the sound of the building workers comes in as these words are being typed on the small silver machine. The builders are making noise with the dropping of planks, they are belching farting and laughing. Their work is progressing.

It is a gray day, all the lines of the buildings outside are visible, the shade that they throw on the walls are soft and indistinct. It is the kind of weather that might be described as greasy. Grey, indistinct, and ready to turn damp at a moment's notice. The appointment at the gallery will be in twenty minutes. It is time to stop writing and to start preparing to leave the house.

part of the system

The car is now turning into a small stack of papers after the accident. Word from the assessor is that it is a total economic loss, the damage from a what at first had been taken as a trivial accident is so great that any repair would exceed the vehicle's value manyfold.

A small heap of papers in a transparent plastic cover,  aspare key and a spare key for the tow hitch. That is all. It is just a matter of waiting for the lawyer's reaction now.

The sounds in the dark this morning were the delivery trucks for the local pubs and shops in the area. The cool air pouring in throught the wide open verandah door is a comfort, a great comfort when so many others seal in the warm air from their heating systems. Not having a heating system has advantages, but only now. Not at all when the winter's real cold arrives. It will be harder to bear then.

Breakfast of eggs was worthwhile today, and there is a reminder to go to the bank in the mail. They are concerned over the money, and the income, and the personal responsibility. It is all well.

The exhibition opening is on Friday, and nervousness is turning into part of the system.

quiet monday

Early and dark, the door is open to the balcony and the air from the town is blowing into the small room. It is like living in an alcove set off from the street, only that that is not the street outside but a private balcony among the rooftops.

It is still nice to have an own room with the carpets left by the grandmother on the floor. There is nothing else to do. but to sit here and enjpy the peace and the quiet in the morning.

There is no real heating here though, and the temporary heating device draws electricity. Once out of bed the winter cold starts to affect the bones and some extra warmth is needed for comfort. Feel guilty about this, but there is nothing else to be done. The electricity will have to be paid for.   

Today is a day of waiting, waiting for the assessor to have made his assessment of the car and to see whether it is worth repairing or not. It will be necessary to buy a new car later, or perhaps to consider living without an own vehicle.

It is nice in the room, but it will be necessary to go out and to deal with things soon.

way to go

 It is bright and it is time to get up. Nature is both blinding and calling today, go downstairs, bathroom and breakfast making first of all. Feed the cat. Note that in the general untidiness down here that there is now one pracically empty tin of cat food on the counter, and two opened tins in the refrigerator. The cat gets the equivalent of gelato al carne for breakfast. Sounds good and smells awful. But the cat likes it apparently. Rinse the other tin and chuck it,

Three egg sunday, and then read the news. Not understanding military methods and not really knowing about the natures  Ukrainians or Russians leaves plenty of room for wonderment, and a certain fear of the brutality being displayed, the bombings, the destruction, the lies and the torments are all the one horror, all the result of a group trying to take what is not theirs by force. It will be may years before there is normality on the ground there, it will be a lifetime before the people may adequately greet each other again.

There is music today, only from the radio. It was just a gesture to switch it on, and the steady high quality sound of the B4 Klassik radio program presented by a tiny Bose speaker is a joy. It also successfully competes with the hiss in the right ear, drowning this just a little. The hand still aches from the fall down the stairs yesterday, that is what you get for going downstairs on slippy woollen socks. "Should have worn shoes" is the thought, but: nothing much happened and the pain is a reminder to be more careful in future. Looking forward is the only way to go, 

short

 The cat is moving about the house searching for attention, then she holds her head out and lets it be scratched.

Then she is all a go go go into the kitchen, no food, back to human leg and rub the head. No tin in the fridge, open a new tin and put food on her plate.

There is now little sound. Fill the coffee maker. Make toast and boil eggs. The family is unavailable and asleep. Look into the sitting room, this is a pigsty as always. Take the things upstairs and look at what news there is.

Today is the day that the new telephone may be collected. On the way there, give another invite to the lady who sell all the second hand clothes as she is setting up her shop.

It is rainiing, the main street is all damp and bedraggled, tourists in gaggles all covered in plastic rain protectors, people with umbrellas everywhere. The man in the shop has no recognition, he does not know who has just addressed him by name. A blank stare, a how can I help you? This man is not much use. So pay the deposit, receive a few instructions and leave. It is all very unsatisfactory and the rain has got heavier. And back at home, realise that the internet has collapsed.

It is all just too bad, it is just as well that all the distances were short.

progress.

 Wake early, go downstairs, respond to a call from the body, the bladder is irritated and it is all uncomfortable. Downstairs, the son is running about hysterical with a torch. There is no way of knowing what is wrong, he will not talk about it. The lights work in the bathroom and in the passageway, all that is necessary is that they be switched on.

All is well.

Later, when the son has gone to his work, go down and make breakfast, and go upstairs again. The internet is not working for some unknown reason, so there is no news. Then the phone rings, it is the lawyer wishing to say that the message from the assessor may be signed and posted back to the assessor,

Leave the house, hurry to the post office with the letter, they are closed. Oh well, let us go and find something else. Go to the mobile phone shop, the person there does not know what the status is, yesterday's clerk is not on duty today. Leave, this is a waste of time. The new telephone can wait.

Go to the watch repair, they say that there is nothing wrong with the watch. It will not wind because of the habits of its owner. Try to walk swinging an arm or something. Oh, this is all too stupid. The know it all jeeweller has a stupid grin on his face that begs the question of what would happen to it if it made sudden contact with the knuckles of five fingers. Without resorting to any kind of violence leave the shop. At least the watch has been cleaned.

At the photography shop they are grateful for the invitation, and at the café the service is both pleasant and beautiful to look at.

In a newspaper store with a postal section mail the letter, there are no problems with irregular closure due to staff meetings and the like.

Things are looking up as the day progresses.

bitter beer

 This is finally getting to be too much, whatever is in the Löwenbräu beer apart from water hops and alcohol keeps you awake at night. The estrangement from the family caused the need for food elsewhere, and the local pub with their simple meal proved ample. But the beer has been noticed before, those particular side effects are unique in their intensity and must be avoided in future. There are enough locals available to make this possible.

Speaking to the artist yesterday, she displayed her problems one after another, the difference is that she is unaware that value is independent of the work put into a piece and may have nothing to do with the cost of the material involved. She is exhausting, for she will always reduce her art to a list of cost factors and reasonable profit. That is irrelevant. It is a white elephant.

And afterwards, the local, with all the boring old men in the corner.

And afterwards, the sleeplessness.

That is all.

no limbo

 This morning, forget to put salt into the water for the poached eggs. Forget to put in a shot of vinegar as well. It is interesting, the vinegar thrown in on top of the eggs causes an effervescence, a white foam rearing up like a soufflé. The salt on top of this never seems to get through to the water below. But never mind about all this, put a little salt on the side of the plate in case the eggs have less salt than they would need to taste well.

The coffee and the toast let themselves be made without problems.

Breakfast upstairs, read the news, enjoy the bright clear day.

The news is dim, there are threats of escalation in the war with Russia. The situation now is not peace, and    there is no limbo between war and peace.

car

 The 'phone rang early, heard it and ignored it. The birthday party last night was unexpected, and the gift of a night out was unexpected too. And the return home was properly late as well.

Get up a while later, go downstairs and make breakfast. After reading the news about Putin's troops terrorising the Ukrainian civilian population by randomly bombing them sit down and think for a while. The behaviour of the Russian forces is unreal in its brutality.

Start to ring back the assesor who had made contact that morning. He sounds a friendly man, and then -  why not? It is his livelihood. Write him a short message with the email address and receive a list of requests in return.  Now all is well and the matter is completely in the hands of the lawyer and his assistants.

Wander about the town, have a cup of coffee at the Italian pizza place, then walk back home.

Search the web for a new second hand car, in case the old one is so badly damaged that it needs to be replaced.

It would be a good idea to wait for the money before buying a replacement.

accident

 Dark and cold and still there is a feeling of relief that everything is still in order, that all these sensations are still available. The day is lightening now, and it is time to go downstairs.

Yesterdays accident has left no mark on the old body, the body of the car is destroyed. A young driver taking a left turn off overlooked the approaching vehicle, the instinctive braking reaction was just insufficient to prevent the crash. Only bent metal, nothing else was the result of this business which all took less than a couple of seconds. There was no chance of evasion for either party.

The morning is spent with telephone calls to automobile associations, long winded lawyers and finally an assessor. The papers are all collected in an envelope, the details written on the outside. That is the end of it, it remains to be seen if the opposing lawyer trees to make a case for his client. That would be a nuisance,  the matter seems clear.

The shock of the accident settles into the bones of the body, the relief that there is no serious harm.

The day is colder now.

Masks

 Fog,even grey and damp, is blocking the view of the tree line over the roofs of Landshut. It is a wonderful soft light, even the shadows underneath things are soft. Structures surfaces show, their colours glow

It is later today, last evening was spent taking talking and taking pictures of jazz musicians, local talent that take what they do and themselves seriously. Old men in the pub being nice to the young girls, in the hope that they are liked and admired. And they all in their finery, out to enjoy the company and to see the people.

A Scottish engineer, a man who built centrifuges talks slowly over his accent, he is used to not being understood here in Germany. There is no problem understanding him here, and he seems to have some pleasure out of meeting somebody with an Irish accent who has no difficulty with his accent.

The fog is now lifting slowly, breakfast has been made and taken, now it is time to go downstairs again and shower and shave and take on the day on a journey to the collector of African masks, a left over from the rich tribal culture of Africa.

things happen

 Leave the house for the meeting, another meeting. People are all complaining, and do not seem to be able to separate their perosnal needs from those of the town. To suddenly have a bus route running through the street is surprising, and not to be told why is annoying. But in the end, the town council are going to have to make a decision as to what is best for the town.

Leave the meeting, people are starting to become sociable, and why wait until they join up and start a german association. There is no wish to be part of one of those groupings of like minded that spend there times drinking and making agreement in chorus. It is not pleasant to be a member of one of these "Vereins" and to have a different opinion.

At the gallery have a discussion on the upcoming exhibition. Agree that holding a talk is not a good idea. Artists should not talk at their own exhibitions and photographers should not talk at their own shows either. It is very pleasant to not to have to speak publicly. At the meeting with the coffee and so forth a reporter starts to ask questions, and before anything is clear this is an interview. The man makes a radio show. This is all publicity, all is good for the gallery.

And then, meet the librarian. He has come to visit the gallery too. This is the first time to meet him in many years.

This is a small town, things like this happen.

sun has gone, the cat is back

 Eggs and toast, the small standard now for breakfast. The thought of an Irish bed and breakfast fry is frightening, the thought of grease in the air, catching the hair and the clothes. Porridge would be nice too, perhaps that would need looking in to. The cat has decided to visit the top flat today, inspecting everything, running her jawline over corners perhaps to analyse the scent gleaned therefrom, perhaps to leave a mark. Which of those two is she doing?. There is a sunbeam coming in over the carpet, and she settles there, to take car of her coat of fur.

The clock on the wall is ticking, a second by second reminder that time is fleeting by. soon it will be necessary to take the car and drive to buy things and to visit a friend in Munich.

The sun has gone and the cat is back. She is complaining now, her green eyes on her yellow furry face.

too many pictures

 The fizzy tablet in the water emits a burst of bubbles into the glass of water, and continues to emit them, and after a short period  starts to rise to the surface of the water. It continues to foam as it floats on the waters surface, until there is nothing left. This is medicine designed to reduce congestion in the lungs. It seems to work, and it is nice to watch.

The Arabians have joined the Russians to blackmail the world by withholding their oil. It is time that the rest of the world got serious about exploring other energy sources and not those controlled by despots. So much for that, people will be on the streets demanding that the despots be appeased, and the western waste continued. It is hard to not recriminate and look into the future, but that is probably the only option.

Listening to the radio in the morning is a habit that could be expanded, it is very pleasant. Even the German news is worth listening to today. Sort through the pictures yet again, put away those that are simply repeats or show a lower technical quality. There just have to be ways found to reduce the quantity of pictures, it is just difficult to say which are very much better than the others. 

Selection is difficult when it conflicts with personal involvement, this is certainly true when there are just too many pictures.

other people have less interest, remember that!

 Jazz guitar and bass combo in the local last night, many pictures of the players, and more consumed than had originally been intended. All the cause of a longer sleep today, a later breakfast and a later reading of the news.

And nearly forgot to take all those pills that the doctor ordered. Most of them are just vitamins anyway, necessary and harmless.

The warm morning in the top flat is relaxing, all knowing that there will be no heating until before Christmas. The plumbers let you wait, they have much work to do.

Things are silent and peaceful in the old house now, the old building which is in such a sorry state of repair and maintenance. There is nothing to be done about it any more. That is just the way things go.

The exhibition is now only two weeks away. This is personally exciting, other people may not be so interested but that is how it goes.

first things first

 Air the bedroom to clear the windows which have recieved a coating of moisture. The windows need to be cleaned anyway, there are still leftovers of wall paint and plaster on the glass. The carelessness of many years ago is taking its revenge today. As the cool morning air drifts through the room again take pleasure in the own room. Take pleasure in the white walls with the prints from Venice in 1991.

Nearly clash with the son's movements this morning, he has to go to work. He likes to be alone in the morning, he likes to avoid the prescence of anyone else in the morning. Resolve to get up earlier tomorrow, to avoid this conflict. 

The building workers started puctually at seven, only to stop again two hours later to have their breakfast break. That is the German way. It seems that way, at least.

The list is made, and it is shorter than expected. Today the musicians are on the agenda, it will be necessary to try and force a decision here, there is no time left to hem and to haw about details that should have been cleared months ago.

First things first.

Make another cup of coffee

"Just doing the job"

 The cold bedroom in the top flat has happy sunlight pouring in through the verandah door that leads out to the balcony. Leave the bed, it is not all that cold. Open the verandah door, then go downstairs to the bathroom and then to make breakfast. The meal that is the happiest of the day. A happy short meal.

There are three weeks to go to the exhibition of the reactor pictures, excitement is increasing, there is no way to be cool about this. An exhibition in the home town, in the town of principal residence, that has been sponsored, is a great personal success. There is no way to make this smaller, and probably no need to. 

"Just doing the job"

The happy meal is over, the shower has been taken, the pills have been swallowed and the water has been drunk. The family is asleep on this holiday celebrating German unity thirty-odd years after forty years division into two countries. The worker using his circular saw in the neighbours house has been stopped, work on an official holiday is not allowed. The sky is blue and white fluffy clouds everywhere. The top flat is airing nicely now. This is a near nonsensical stream of consciousness leading to unconsciousness.

There are things to be taken care of today, a list to make. Invitations have to be prepared.

nothing to do and no time.

 It is now five in the evening and the Sunday has been spent resting. A pleasant chat with the son in the morning, both standing in the kitchen in out night clothes and discussing coffee and computers and mess.

This is all pleasant, it is the second time that there has been a conversation in quite some time. 

It is one of those days where more is thought about tidying up than is actually done. There is always so much tidying to be done, many of the things have not been looked at for years.

It is a day with much reflection and few results.

Early in the day much time was spent hunting for the salt. The son then later explained that he had taken it into his room to spice something and forgotten to bring it out.

Oh well.

It is turning into winter outside, there is a promise of an indian summer later on this week, we will wait and see.

hot to frosty

 Look at yesterdays pictures again this morning. This is what you might call a review, if you were suitably officious. Otherwise it is just looking at the pictures again. The colours on some of them are just uneccessary, they do not further the content in any way. They are superfluous data. Who cares if the bush behind the two ladies enjoying flammkuchen and sekt at a table have a green bush with red flowers on it in the background? The shapes would be sufficient, that colourful stuff is simply distracting. It is a nuisance. The picture of the beggar in front of the church would be mostly a waste of colour as well.

Too much information is a kind of disinformation as well.

The son is doing his washing this morning, he has occupied the washing machine and the dryer with his clothing. This cleanliness is almost a problem, his clothing is almost wearing out for all this washing. Like all crazes, it will disappear in time.

Getting up was slow again today, it is just not pleasant when things are so cold. There is no heating in the upper flat, and the temperatures outside are cold now. In September the temperatures dropped so suddenly from hot down to frosty inside a few days.