begin again

The moves continue, slow discussions over what is best done how for whom and everyone has the better idea to finish the business quickly. 

Pick up all the ready packed items and go,  load the trailer, put them in the back of the car and move.

Upon returning the discussions are still being held.

That was yesterday, it is all unclear why it all takes so long. Perhaps there should have been a plan beforehand, then everyone could adhere to it.

Blah Blah.

It went on late yesterday, and it will start late today. Working in the dark was no fun yesterday and it will be no fun today.

The son needs the car today, warn him that the petrol tank now has more air in it than fluid. The light for reversing the vehicle does not work. But let him drive anyway.

The day is cold, it is the last day of the year.

In one hour the work will begin again.

There will be a party, to be held this evening.

It will last until next year.

putrefaction of ignorant nastiness

 It is early now and dark outside
The day will dawn before this is done.

Yesterday was late, the watch left at home
to tick away the hours till the tension left its driving spring

It is strange to wake so early and to feel so well and wakeful
Last night all was sore, desperation and desire for sleep ruled all

The artists old studio has emptied, the new one is filled
The pieces of such beauty may be moved to their new studio space

Later today, the artist is not well, the work will be done after noon.

For the last time this year there will be shopping to be done, and the Argentine will need the fittings for his bed. He may then sleep thereupon at the turning of the year. The sense of duty will not go away despite the feeling of having had abuse that will not leave the mind either.

All things possible will be done to prevent the need for an old man to sleep on the floor by his bed. There is no sense in allowing evil to join fury and to end up in a putrefaction of ignorant nastiness.

Now it is dawn on the penultimate day of this year.

no more

 it was late yeaterday and so iit is today

The day passed helping the artist transport his furniture, Firat the Argentine, now the artist.

There will be no more house moving this year.

not a time for breakfast

 Last night the post was made standing in a parking place by the car waiting for the  Argentine and his friend to finish their Spanish discussions in the warmth of the Argentines new flat. There are still a few things to be transported.

The new flat is now nearly in the state of messiness that the last flat was. And there is nothing in sight that will alleviate that.

Make a telephone call, the Argentine says that they will now go for a drink.

Nice for them.

Say goodbye and think good riddance.

Returned the trailer to its place in the house, and had a small dispute with the son over which lights to use in the hall. It was good with two large glasses of water.

Father and son then parked the car.

The son then offered a slice of Apfelstrudel that he had warmed in the oven, a ready made Apfelstrudel from Aldi.

Later go out for a drink. The two Argentines are in the pub, they attempt to make conversation like idiots.

Ignore them.

This morning there are pains in the back and the legs. It was a lot of work yesterday, and it has taken its toll. It is now almost one in the afternoon, not a time for breakfast,

Mess Misery

 it is a quarter to eleven

the argentines move took all day

the flat was a mess

hardly anyting packed

misery

cramps

 Yesterdays party was pleasant, a christmas Day party, one that occurs regularly. There were fewer people there this year than last year, the host has increased the list of those that he does not want to invite. Also, as everyone gets older, people leave earlier and the story meets its end.

At just before midnight the artist telephoned and needed help transporting his rubber plant. He is worried that it will get frost damage, as the weather forecast predicts a light frost. Help him take his plant to his new studio, and use the opportunity to inspect the studio itself. Have a chat with him until early morning, help him sort books. He has inherited the contents of a bookcase, and most of these contents are junk.

But some of the said contents are priceless and rare.

In the morning the legs suffer from severe cramps, it is hard to tell why. Make a generous breakfast and enjoy this. 

Today is boxing day, and just do not leave the house. Do work that has been shirked for some time, and edit the pictures from last nights party.

There will be a short visit to the pub tonight, and then that will be all.

Somebody

 Last night a fit of impatience caused the desertion of the local pub. The Argentine grinned like a fool at every greeting exchanged with friends and could not keep his silence commenting on the attractiveness of the women young and old. Informed him of its being Christmas eve and a time of good will for everybody and not a time of assessment and taxing. All are welcome, all can wish each other a happy Christmas and receive similar wishes in return. It is just silly. Then a youth pushed and said that he was going to claim half the table. He used the word "Hijack", an unusual expression for bad manners.

Collected the coat, put it on outside in the rain and left.

Met more friends on the way, they explained that the direction was wrong. The reply was just that things were not in order.

At home again, watched a film on the computer, and derived some pleasure from this

This morning, downstairs in the kitchen, it was almost impossible to make breakfast. Almost every burner on the stove was occupied with a dirty or a half empty pot, there were decaying vegetables in their containers everywhere, and a layer of used dishes covered everything in a layer of greasy stoneware. Cleared a small spot and made the breakfast, having an extra avocado. It is Christmas Day after all.

After breakfast, showered and dressed and proceeded to fill the dishwasher with the crockery, cutlery, pots and pans left lying about after the other's meals.

Swept the surfaces and then the floor.

There is still a mess, but it is that of other people.

It is a silly easy job, and somebody has to do it.

rain like melted ice

 It is Christmas Eve, the very special day for all children. There are no children of that age in the family any more, unless you want to count the cat. She may be getting on a bit now, but compared to her humans she is young.

Up and about and breakfast was fine today. The cold is a great discomfort, the amount of energy needed to warm even a very small space is large. Finish the small things on the computer, write a few Christmas greetings with the email system.

And rest, shower, take it easy for the pressure on the soul that is trying to deal with the personal situation in the home needs that. When a decision cannot be made it is better to rest until the situation has improved.

There is a letter to write to a woman who has her doubts about the use of a friendship, and is frightened that she is moving too close and now there are difficulties. It will all drift past again soon, but some form of reply to the letter is necessary. It is not really easy.

Leave the house and deliver the note by hand. Enclose a picture of people crossing a bridge over a waterfall. It is a short drive through the rain that feels so cold, it is like melted ice.

After parking the car walk to the bank and get a small amount of money as a christmas present for the son. He had been very undecided about what he would like, so now it is decided that a sum of money would be best.

3 would be better

 At a quarter to three in the afternoon a few of the planned things have been done, but most of such things have not been done at all. Shopping has been done, and more will have to be done now, for there were things forgotten.

People are arguing in the neighbourhood, the sounds of shouting and of screaming can be heard through the closed windows.

It is another day of no conversation, and it is strange to be completely alone in the middle of this small town. Solitary life in a flat would possibly be easier and cheaper.

The viewer markings on the ground glass screen of the cameras were modified to accommodate the digital sensor. Some of the ink smudged under the ruler and the result is less than perfect. This is sad, but it is going to have to be lived with. Not much can be done now, other than wiping everything off and restarting the whole marking process.

There was a note received, a friend expressed her distress at having spoken about her problems, and events from her life that occurred a long time ago. There is no way of knowing how to reply. Not at this time, not yet.

These are all incomplete thoughts in paragraphs of only two sentences. Three would be better.

obscuring the result in the light of the story

 Getting up this morning was difficult again, and it is nobody else's fault. A glass of wine on top of the two bad tempered glasses of beer yesterday took their toll and the damage was done. It was self inflicted.

With care and deliberation make breakfast. It is good, the egg and avocado suit each other today. It is the last of the avocados, it will be necessary to buy more next week. But that starts tomorrow with Christmas Day on Wednesday. Boxing day on Thursday and Friday is nothing special except for the Argentines move, which will destroy that day.

Today was a strange day, there was a visit to the cinema with the couple from the train, those whose company is liked and who seem to like the company of yours truly. Afterwards there is a midday meal in a small guest house in the country, this is a substantial affair. Afterwards again, at home, the night and the day roll into one and the result is a deep sleep for several hours.

The film was a production about memory and iniquity, maybe about forgiveness. It was hard to understand that the message of the film was sadly sugarcoated by a happy ending that was not probable in the light of the story.

things crept out of the woodwork

 Get up and go downstairs, and in a fit of bad humour, slam all the doors with no regard for those that might be sleeping. Make breakfast and feed the cat, who is hungry at all times.

The son came up to the fathers bedroom, the cold room at the top of the house. He complained sadly that the father had not woken him up as had been arranged. Feel sorry about this and say so. The reason for this is that the son wanted to go to the cafe around the corner. This cafe stops serving coffee at half past eleven, so there was little time to get dressed and to go on. 

Breakfast had already been made, that was fine and all was well. But the promise to go out and   to have a cup of coffee with the son had been misplaced

But this was not so bad after all, for both hurriedly dressed arrived at the small café and were able to have their coffee and a croissant and a piece of cake.

Then walk on to where the son had parked the car and take it back to one of the local parking spots. There is only one free, that is lucky. Anything else would have involved a long search. The son had left the car in good condition, there was no mess inside. He had spent the previous evening transporting the remains of a sofa from a charity organisations rooms to the waste depot. The sofa was old and had fallen apart.

Spend the rest of the day at home, sad at all the difficulties that crept out of the woodwork during the last two years. 

Having retired from work it is impossible to deal with the things at home.

In the early afternoon visit the gallery and have a cup of coffee.

twelfth hour

Before the alarm sounds this morning got up and went downstairs, made a breakfast, returned upstairs and ate it.

The alarm sounded, read for a while and put the day clothes on and made the bed. Then went out to the car and made a telephone call to wake up the Argentine. Today is the day that he is to go to the hospital, it is a promise to bring him there. He answers, and he is not very awake, by the sound of things. Take the car and park it opposite to his residence and wait. Half an hour after the first phone call repeat the procedure, he says that he will be out in a second.

Later, drive down the motorway to Munich, There is less traffic than expected, it is a quiet and grey day. The clinic that he is to go to was the place of work thirty years ago. It is strange to arrive there and to find that the buildings are all much the same, really, not much has changed. Even the people look the same, all in their white coats and aloof hurry. The Argentine waits, he looks worried, for the diagnosis is an unpleasant one.

Take a walk around the Occam strasse in Schwabing. All of the night places are closed, there is one café open. The waiter is friendly and helpful, sit down and order a cup of coffee and a croissant. The coffee arrives soon, the croissant never does. This is sad, but never mind. The coffee is good, but it is not cheap at all. Leave after a short while and return to the car, for the 'phone was still in there left on the mounting system on the dashboard. Pay an extra two Euros for another parking period and return to the clinic to see how things are progressing.

The Argentine is waiting for his consultation with the doctor. He has left all the other processes behind him.

Finally, leave with him and return to Landshut. On the way, have a midday meal at an Indian restaurant in Kronwinkl. They are not a bad restaurant.

Afterwards, go to the artists studio and help move a few of the things there. Then return home after advising the son on how to pack things into the back of the car.

That done, go home and have a rest.

And now it is a quarter to six, the twelfth hour since the alarm did not ring this morning.

It may survive till next spring.

It was a strange night, there was no sleep possible until four in the morning. The young woman who had happily conversed in the pub ended the evening by giving this complete stranger a hug and saying that she likes him, an entirely unexpected gift. This was strange. It was unusual and because of this will not be put out of mind. Nowadays everybody hugs everybody else, and people who are not used to this become disorientated.

Breakfast is missed, it is just too late, and there is no point in having a repeat of yesterdays situation where a married couple stand beside each other acting like ignoramuses. Something will have to be done. Something will have to be done to avoid madness.

The book by Lowry Pressley is promising, there will be time to read it tonight.

Go to the artist's studio, to check whether or not it had been left open the night before. There was an elderly couple there playing the flute and a mouth organ. They were practising Christmas songs. Spoke to them for a few minutes, then left.

Go to the tiny Thai restaurant, and have a bowl of soup. The soup is not as good as it usually is, they seem to be running out of ingredients. It is the same price as usual though..

Return home, and on the way drop into the gallery. They have a most beautiful exhibition of works by Sean Scully, all on paper. This is very pleasant.

Return home, and feed the cat.

In the later evening the son comes in with a bat that was caught by the cat. The tiny animal is still hibernating, it was an easy catch. Tell him to return it to the attic, and let it go back to sleep.

It may survive till next spring.

conflict

The alarm plays a tinkly melody, this will have to be changed sometime. A classical alarm clock would be better. Bad, loud and none of this tasteless twittering-

Play Wordle to calm down.

The humour is not good. Got for a shower in the morning and deliberately waste time knowing full well that others want to use the bathyroom. There is only one other, and now there is a guilty feeling for doing unto others as they do unto you. Bathyroom because you need a Bathyscaphe to explore the thing after people have showered excessively. No, that is vicious too.

Now leave all this geological nonsense and proceed on up to the artists place in the hamlet near the village near the town. The welcome is warm and friendly, there is no idea as to what is going on or why. The whole half of the day since breakfast is spent with small talk. It is hard to keep the big mouth shut.

Back home, feed the cat. It is dark already. Make a slice of toasted bread, then go ahead and eat it.

The cat vomits in the hall. Use paper kitchen towels to clear up the mess, this is a thing that possible none of the rest of the family will do. Perhaps they will wait for the thing to dry first it the hope of being able to remove it in one piece.

Write in the blog in order to calm down.

There are things to be done this evening, and they conflict.

another hour

 This morning was cold and the idea of waking up and doing something suddenly did not seem  so great any more. It was really very much more comfortable to just remain in bed and to stay quiet. 

At seven in the morning there was the sound of the son hurrying off to the train, the son is a specialist for undertaking activities at the last possible moment.

Sometimes even a bit later.

Make breakfast at a time that is simply to late for breakfast, the wife comes in to the kitchen and starts to demonstratively make sandwiches for her work break. Work away there side by side, and speak not at all. This behaviour is probably uncommon and unusual. But it is experienced as threatening, and that is probably the way that it is meant.

Go to the supermarket and buy ten tins of cat food, on the way back from the supermarket get some money from the bank, and pass by the haberdashery and buy some felt cloth. It will do 

Later, wait for the postman to bring the book that was ordered three months ago. There is a postcard from the collector, which is very pleasant, but the postcard says that it will most likely be the coming year before a meeting can be arranged. Go downstairs to check for the post again and find the package containing the book propped up on top of the letter box

Later, clear up the dishes, fill and start the dishwasher and sweep the kitchen

At half past four in the afternoon go to the barbers and have the hair cut there by the usual barber. She will stop working in the new year, and she is already excited at the prospect of never having to work again. She is content at the idea

Return home and see that the dishwasher is still active. It will take another hour at least.

journey

 The alarm works well, and that is all that functions as expected. The old body has got used to retirement from the rigours of early rising to go to work and is simply not prepared to get up to go for a trivial visit to friend in Munich.

It is of no matter. Get up and go anyway, shower, dress and drink hot coffee until ten minutes before the leaving time of the bus.

Then rush downstairs, take the bus to the railway station, and sit in the train until Munich. The train is fast, and it is easier to use the train than to drive by car. Also, due to the subvention by the German government, it is cheaper. All train fares cost the same for one month. A flat rate for local travel.

Leave Munich railway station and walk through the streets of Munich to the Maxvorstadt, passing the university buildings and the huge Pinakothek public art galleries. Also pass the Karolinenplatz with its monolith in the centre of the roundabout. In no time at all reach the junction of the Shellingstraße and Barerstrasse where the Shellingsalon is to be found. It is a restaurant and pool hall, and has a long tradition. Ask the waitress whether or not the friend is there and she says that he is not yet there. He is well known in the place.

Watch the pool players coax the coloured balls into the various pockets. Wonder why the white ball finds a pocket so often, even when that is not the object of the game.

The friend arrives, he has arrived to reminisce. Have a plate of Wurstl and potato salad each, and then take a walk in the nearby Nordfriedhof, an old graveyard which has been disused since the forties of the last century. It is used as a park now, many of the gravestones have been removed, many of the graves have been given up.

On the way back to the friends car there is a box of records at the roadside with a note saying that they are all to be given away. At the direction of the friend pick up the whole box. It is unclear what he wants to do with all the old romantic singles, but he wants to take them home and maybe play them. He is too infirm to  bend over and take up the box himself.

Say goodbye, and walk to the centre of Munich. There is the Leica store, a brightly lit store with discreet displays of wildly espensive cameras. There is also a gallery.

Admire the very beautiful pictures on display there.

Think of the pictures on the way home.

Due to the low cost of the tickets, the train to Landshut is full.

Still, it is a pleasant journey.

an occasional petting

Last night ended this morning again, it was a pleasant evening and a pleasant night. It was not a long sleep, but tiredness remained.

It was an artistic party in a country town, their celebrations alcoholic and the music jazz. Saxophone, bass and rhythm with an occasional flute and some shy song. Later at night a drummer turned up thankfully without his drum kit and yet nobody could stop him from singing and everyone listened politely. There were many pictures taken on the small black and white camera.

There was one pretty young woman there with dark hair and a long nose. She was lovely to look at. She is a student of psychology.

The night wore on and the day is spent worn out.

The son returned from his excursion to the nearby Moosburg, and father and son went out together to have a cup of coffee in a bakery shop that was open on Sunday. It was pleasant but not special.

The day was spent  as a blur without much detail. There was a pleasant invitation for the coming Wednesday for a breakfast at a nearby house in Landshut. This is nice. It was an invitation from the artist couple and a friend of theirs. This will mean getting up early on Wednesday and taking a long walk to get to the venue.

Then there was a phone call, somebody had forgotten their keys to the house in which the party had en last night. It was not far, so get up and go down the street to the house and let the waiting person in.

Then return and write this, the poor lonely cat has taken the opportunity to come upstairs to sit on the warm knees of the one writing on the computer and to receive an occasional petting.

boring, pleasant

 Awake to the cold of the early morning, the badly insulated room is icy and the electric heater makes no great difference. All of this is not going to work well, it is not even clear whether or not this winter can be spent up here. Get up to go downstairs and to make the usual breakfast. The cold is not so bad after the food, but the feeling of well-being does not last. Go downstairs and enjoy a shower, this warms up the old body, it feels good.

Upstairs again get dressed, and go out and walk down to the shop in the mall to buy things that are in short supply. It is no more than eggs and bread and cheese.

Upon returning home after walking through the cold streets with all the wrapped up people find that a small parcel has been delivered. Open it and find that it is filled with homemade cookies, this is a Christmas present from the niece. She has written a small card and says thank you for the nice photo's of her wedding last September. Now that is very kind isn't it?

The wife comes up the stairs with a large parcel containing a photographic lampshade, a so-called soft box. The wife is in her usual non speaking mode, she grunts in reply to the offered verbal thanks.Take the item upstairs and leave it on the couch.

Go out and go to the meeting in the cafe

That is boring today.

There is an invitation to a christmas dinner.

That is pleasant.

washes away the discomfort

 Last night there was another evening in the artists studio, He is still perfecting his wooden relief. This sculpture is based on the photograph of young woman who was murdered in Ausschwitz during the second world war in the middle of the last century. 

A bottle of wine was consumed, and methods for safely storing the small wooden sculptures were discussed.

The artist spent some time looking for the picture that he used as a source for his work. It was lying in plain sight on the table with a handwritten note on top of it which was in a slightly smaller format. 

This morning was difficult, and it was easy to apportion the blame for the situation. Down in the kitchen the wife refused to talk to her husband and attempted to act as if he was not there. Breakfast prepared, repair upstairs. Meanwhile, she has gone to work, gone to follow some occupation about which she will not speak. Take a shower, the warm water washes away the discomfort of the morning.

The Argentine is a matter of concern, his cancer diagnosis is awkward to deal with, he is here in a town where he has few friends, there is no idea as to how to deal with this. There is no wish to leave him to loneliness but being the only friend nearby is not easy either.

Healthwise

This morning was cold, the car was not content with being started and took a while before it started to run smoothly. Drove all the way to Garching slowly, to both save petrol and because of the persistent ice warnings on the cars information panel. At the university met with a few old colleagues and the man who ran the business. These were not all pleasant chance encounters.

Finally found the man in charge of the machine shop. He showed the parts which worked perfectly and was given his bottle of drink as a small thank you for having done the favour.

The camera should work well now and cause no problems any more.

Upon leaving meet up with another old colleague and chat for a while. Then go to the café, have a single cup of coffee and drive home again.

At home start to feel unwell and commence to freeze. This is strange, for it is not all that cold. Lie down, and take a rest.

The sound of a message on the smartphone ends the rest, and there is a message from the Argentine. The mole that they removed from his head turns out to be a form of malignant skin cancer. 

Arrange to meet him in the café, and just listen. There is little to be said. It is hard to imagine what he is going through, but there is no room for silly comments. It is a serious matter. Listen for a while, until the Syrian waiters decide that they do not want anyone to be in the place any more. They start throwing out the customers that are still contemplating their empty cups or finishing off their newspapers. These waiters have no concept of service, they are rough rude and arrogant. Oh well, not everybody can expect perfection all the time.

Go home, it is time to take a rest. The cold is in the bones again, things are not in order, healthwise.

why not

 This morning was spent putting small things in order and reading the news. Leave the house in the late morning and go to get some felt and some light cloth. The felt is for the artists figurines and the cloth is to cover the shirts that have been hung on a rail outside the wardrobe. The cloth is to prevent the shirts all getting dusty Some of the shirts will have to wait until summer before they are worn again.

At midday go to the small café for a cup of coffee and a roll. Whilst there recieve a telephone call from the workshop where the camera parts are being repaired. The master say that the item is done and ready to be collected.

That is good news. Go to the fancy liquor store and buy two bottles of Schnapps, that is a pleasant way of saying thank you for good service.

At home again, collect the tools needed for measuring and cutting the felt. Then spend the next four hours  making a felt inlay for the figurines. It is a lot more work than imagined.

But now, at the end of the day, be satisfied with the work and imagine that it would be pleasant to have a glass of beer in the pub.

why not.

strange atmosphere

 The depressions have it again. All morning was spent trying hard to find motivation to do anything, and there it is- nothing was found. There is plenty of pain and feeling unwell, there is fear of future things that may never occur. The washing is in the machine, now that the wife's washing has been taken out of the stainless steel basket and place into a plastic basket . She always leaves her washing in the machine for days.

Do a bit of shopping, and now spend time in the café in the first floor of the one big shopping mall. Their coffee is not good, the place has a strange atmosphere too.

inheritance is the last word

 The son came upstairs to say his goodbyes in the morning. Wished him well until Thursday, then he will be back again, perhaps this will be the end of lectures until Christmas and the New Year. It is hard to predict what the university people will arrange, it is hard to know what the man has planned.

Today the whole day was spent in illness, it was some kind of cold. Perhaps living in an unheated room does not help at all.  Breakfast was somehow insipid, even though it was the same as every day. In the afternoon paid a short visit to the café, but the things there did not taste good either. The Argentine turned up, it took a while for him to notice his friend huddled in one of the chairs drinking the rapidly cooling coffee. We had a conversation about things, and then, in the face of increasingly feeling unwell, walked back home. At home had a hot shower and went to lie down on the bed, wrapped up, and then slept. Awoke again at six in the evening and feel a lot better.

That is good.

Listen to the sounds of the wife walking around in the house.

Wonder how long this situation will continue for, it is becoming hard to bear.

It will be strange to have to leave the house that was paid for out of a personal inheritance.

a great increase in comfort

 Get up and make breakfast. Breakfast was great, even though it was much the same as all the other days. There is residual anger at the state of the sliding camera back delivered yesterday, The machine did not appear to work at all. But far worse, the legs started to feel the cold, they just froze. As a remedy, returned to bed, covering the legs with an extra blanket. Gradually, the situation improved. And upon waking again, all is well.

Start to study the sliding back again. It is stiff, and moves badly. Establish the exact places where it jams. Examine the runners, and note that they are covered in sticky residue. Clean this off with alcohol and an absorbent rag. Try it again, the movement is better, but not perfect. 

Set up the camera and attach the slide to the camera. It fits perfectly, at least that is something. But the movement is still not satisfactory.

Go downstairs and chat about things with the son, things that are quite disconnected from sliding backs and similar problems. He is well, his use of the car early this morning worked out well too. The cat is sitting on the remains of a cardboard box and watching him work on his computer.

Upstairs again, find some felt with which to make a safety construction for the small figures that are waiting for something of that kind in the artist's studio across the road.

There is a small container of watch oil in the drawer with the felt, decide to try this on the recalcitrant sliding back. This works wonders, and the back starts to work smoothly as the minute quantities of oil coat the moving parts.

The back is now working as it should, it is a considerable saving and will hopefully be a great increase in comfort in the operation of the small field camera.

disgruntled feline

 The project making pictures of the tiny wooden sculptures is progressing, the work is difficult and could use more precision on the side of the equipment than the equipment was built for. It is very good equipment, but it is always possible to go one better at immense cost.

Awoke early today, something in the sleep was broken, but things seem to be all right now, just before nine in the morning. It is a bright cloudy day outside, the light of the sun forcing its yellowish way through the pale grey clouds. There will be time to go to the shops to get the groceries necessary for breakfast. It will be pleasant to take a walk through the town.

The wife is still in her bed, that is downstairs beside the kitchen. Her snores could be heard through the open door.

For some reason, the cat is disgruntled.

***

It is later now, it is a quarter to eleven, and the sun has hidden behind the grey of the sky. The shopping has been done, there was little enough on the list. The main thing was bread, and the other things acquired were staples to fill the bag and to make the trip feel worth while.

There was the sound of a router working on some piece of wood from a building that is being renovated. It is a sound like an amplified saxophone. But it never changes its frequency, as any self-respecting saxophone player would.

The cat has gone off somewhere, there is no way at all to tell its state of mind.

a good day for indoor work

 Last night, after a short rest in the studio, just went home and went straight to the welcome bed. Slept like a stone until this morning early, and then again until ten in the morning.

There is guilt attached to these late and long sleeping bouts, the old work ethic has to be brought back. The uncomfortable but productive early rising and working will not return on its own. For the own personal well being it will have to be ordered back.

It is now eleven in the morning, all the chores have been done. The bedroom will need to be vacuum cleaned and the house steps washed down. This are things that need to be down every few weeks. There is no point in being overly clean. Though it would be nice to have somebody about who could do this work.

Today there will be time spent in the studio again and hopefully the first phase of the work on the figurines will be completed today.

It is a grey day, the sky is an almost uniform sheet of grey. It is a good day for indoor work

lie down for a few minutes

 It is night again, and work has just finished. It is difficult and requires concentration. It is not easy to take pictures of the small figures. And taking pictures of each one three times, one after the other in different poses, is tiring. The first phase of the job will be finished tomorrow. There is not much to be done now, it is not possible to work any more.

There was an opening of an exhibition in the foyer of the town hall today. It consisted of pictures done by a Chinese artist living in Munich. Most of her pictures were round about religious themes, and were just too meaningful to be of any great interest. There were two quite beautiful paintings of fields in Autumn, and the picture of the back garden of a house. These pictures were pleasant and well done. All of the woman's pictures were competently done. Just the content of many of them was difficult.

Return to the artist's studio after hearing that there would be no concert tonight.

Try to work and to finish the job, but there is just no concentration there any more.

Lie down for a few minutes before going home.

eight fifteen in the evening

Now it is later in the day. it is twenty past eight and it is time to write  todays post before something happens that lets it be forgotten. The day started early, it started in a civilised way with breakfast and feeding the cat and a shower. This was all very pleasant. It was all nice and relaxed. 

Went to the shops and bought a soft paintbrush and a sheet of cardboard. This was equipment necessary for the continued work on the wooden miniatures It is pleasant working in the artist's studio, it is heated and very peaceful. Progress is slow, after yesterdays decision to start work again. Perhaps it is just the way things are, it is a tricky job and there is no reason for it to go easily.

Take a break and go to the Thai place. The meals there are not so incredibly filling but they are tasty. The service is very friendly, which is pleasant and professional. Have a cup of coffee in the coffee shop belonging to a coffee importer. They sell all kinds of things there as well, and find out after ordering a cake that they are most expensive. Oh well, that is too bad.

Continue the work in the artists studio, it is steady work, but it is slow. Carefully remove the dust from the figurines, they are so tiny that the dust is really visible upon the photos.

And now it is half past eight in the evening. Perhaps there will be time to go out and to have a glass of beer and a bowl of soup. And then to return and to take a few more pictures, to try and get the job finished.

Things are good when they are completed.

Tomorrows post will be written later today.

Awoke early and then allowed the whole body just to fall back to sleep again. The general feeling of depression will not let go now, not today. Last evening was strange, there was no knowing where things would end. Then they just petered out and stopped. That was last night, and tomorrow will be no better. It is six minutes past midnight.

The day was marked by the failure of the pictures to work as expected. There will be nothing for itbut to try again tomorrow. Perhaps things will be better then.

The artist's studio is quiet, and probably the only sensible thing to do now is to just go home. 

The photos of the small sculptures are simply very difficult to do.

Tomorrows post will be written later today.

it must be age

Got up early and dressed quickly, enjoying only a light breakfast. Went out in the frosty dark and walked to the car which was parked in Neustadt, opposite to the local police station. The car started with no problem.

Drove the car to the university, the frost warning indicator was on, people were driving slowly. It was foggy too.

Arrive in Garching, it is surprising how well the place is remembered. There are more buildings, and once the people talk realise that there are not any more people there to run them. The master mechanic looks at the problem and says that they will do it in the new year, after Christmas. Do not show the disappointment,  it is good that they will attend to the matter.

Spend some time chatting to the old colleagues, then return to Landshut.

Examine the old attachment, and oil it a bit to make it work more smoothly. It will have to do for the time being until  the new part is ready. Then it will be possible to proceed with the new adapter.

There is a hope that they will finish it early.

Do some shopping.

Then lie down for a few minutes, and fall asleep.

Now it is thirty seven minutes past seven in the evening, twelve hours after arriving in Garching this morning. Why is the body so tired? It must be age.

café sunday

The day started with a midnight session at the artist' studio, he wanted some company whilst working on a piece that he has been working on for years now. Meet him at the pub, all the scholars from his classes at he local school gather around him. Then we go on to his studio, and he works at his piece. Stay there for an hour, then go home to go to bed. Instead of going to bed, finish watching a program on the computer, a matter of interest, all to do with current German politics. There was a stupid use of terminology, and a plan that the liberal party had to damage the government coalition came to light. It was the coalition to which it had been party. 

Awake and it was nine this morning. Rise slowly, and take two headache pills and go downstairs to make breakfast. There is a new variation, that is to have avocados on toast. This may be decadent, but it is tasty.

Upstairs, start to check the camera for the job  at four o'clock this evening.

Then the son comes and asks if it is possible to go to the café at two.

And that is what will be done now.

The performance of the big band took place on a stage set up in the christmas market. It was cold, but there were hundreds there wandering around the market with their children. They were eating sausages and drinking mulled wine. The band played many Christmas hits, but because the stage and it's surrounding wooden walls and roof swallowed sound only part of the band could be heard. That was  too bad.

Took pictures for the hour, and then left.

Went to a café afterwards and had a hot chocolate which returned the body temperatures to their comfort zone

no point in starting a fight over a few cent too few

 The morning was spent being unwell again, there is no way to tell what this really is. Is it just laziness, or is there something wrong. The feet and legs get cold so easily, it is really uncomfortable.

Wrap up again after the morning duties and stay warm. Perhaps it is the medicine to lower the blood pressure that causes this. Perhaps that is what causes the frequent need to visit the bathroom. There is no way to know without the judgement of a medical person, one who knows these things.

The midday meeting with the gallery people was interesting, but it was a waste of time. They are just strange people who spy upon each other, it goes nowhere. They have a new place to meet in, it is horribly expensive and the service is incompetent. There is so much room for improvement, they just do not know what they are doing. Leave shortchanged, there is no point in starting a fight over a few cents too few.

Remember to buy a new card for the camera, it would not do to run out of pictures in the middle of the job tomorrow late afternoon. And go to the bank for some cash, it is important to have these things even though most things are now paid for by card.

It is now getting dark, even though it is only early afternoon. There is time for one more walk over the park, perhaps this will improve the state of health and mind.

a feeling of missing something

It is past midday, and yesterday's activities are fading into the distance of the past. It was a late sleep this morning, for there was so much activity in the kitchen that the regular pursuit of making a small breakfast in peace and quiet could not be followed. Instead, a shower, a rest and then when the space was free a late, late breakfast.

Calm down a bit. The Argentine has found his flat, it all goes well. Perhaps he will need a loan to pay the deposit, maybe it will be necessary to help him here.

There will be shopping to do, and planning for the Monday trip to the university campus in Garching. All of these things will work, hopefully the conversion to the camera will work as planned and go smoothly.

A visit to the collector would also be a good idea. He is a man who has not been attended to for a very long time and there is a feeling of missing something.

These are things that happened yesterday. on the 28th

 this post wil step in for yesterday's post which was not written. There was too much happening in the evening and it was forgotten

Mea culpa

This is the first time that this has happened for a while now.

The news of Karen Coughlin death on facebook was shattering, Karen Coughlin who lived in France, and was an artist. It was unexpected.

Yesterday evening was strange, there was a visit to a film, this was curious, and then a visit to a small guesthouse with an elderly German couple, and then the Argentine wanted to clink glasses because of his success in finding a flat.

The end of the day merged into the start of the next with a long conversation with the artist in his studio.

Yesterday morning was spent thinking about how to set up the new Carl Zeiss lens to work on the view camera. A visit to the university workshop will be necessary. That is a plan for Monday.

These are things that happened yesterday.

package day

The sky is an even dark grey today, one hour after the alarm's futile attempt to awaken its owner to a conscious state. Downstairs, turn on the clothes dryer and make breakfast. The cat and the wife are asleep in their room, it is simply too early for them.

Upstairs, breakfast and the news. The threats of the vile man from north America are reverberating around the world, it will be an interesting four years after next January. It is the right of the people living there to destroy their status quo if they want to.

Read the news on the screen, play Wordle, go downstairs to have a shower and collect the dried clothing from the machine. The cat and the wife are apparently not awake yet.

There is a parcel due today containing a useful gadget. It is coming all the way from Finland. The aim is to make the photography of those tiny figures easier. It is a project that has to be constantly worked upon. This is to prevent disinterest taking over.

Tidy up the room and prepare to go downstairs to continue with cleaning up the corridor. 

It is now eleven in the morning. The day has started not well, but more neatly than the last few days.

 

time spent

 That is all there is to it today, it is not much. The laboratory stand has arrived, it is as ordered. It is a cheap product, and its performance is as expected. It is not great, but it works. Today, a bit rough and a little bit unpleasant. Breakfast as every day, too late to really make the day great. Arrange things, do a small job for the Argentine, he cannot print out or publish his documents. Do this for him, and scan them afterwards as well so that he may sent the things as  an email complete with his signature. Then visit the artist for the third time today, and be lucky this time. He is there, and his friends are also there who are helping him with his move to the new studio.

It is not worth staying too long, but still get into a discussion over picture rights. It is a never ending story, and there is no final answer to it.

The day was spent with a pleasant little meal in the Thai place, a worthwhile small feed. It was worth it.That was at midday, it was just a Tom Yang soup with some rice. But it was most pleasant. There was no discussion about copyright. It was eaten and it was good.

Two cards were printed, both of the shadow of the bicycle on the wall.

Printing works well out of the editing application, perhaps that is a route for the future. Perhaps it is not.

This evening there will be a short time spent in the artists studio,  and hopefully a short time spent in the pub.

the rest of the day

 The night was so cold outside the bed, it was hard to get up to go downstairs in the early morning to respond to a call of nature. But it was possible, cold is relative, and the return to the blanketing duvet was welcome. The cold did not have a chance to reach the bones.

Sleep last night was deep and firm, this was strange. Even after returning to bed, it was light and bright in the morning upon awakening. Realise that it very nearly no longer is the morning, it very definitely is the late morning.

It is a beautiful lightly clouded blue day outside, the grey ugliness of the past weeks has lifted. Downstairs, in the kitchen, prepare breakfast.The wife has set up the coffee maker for her coffee, which is why it is necessary to find other jobs until the machine is free. Having taken the used crockery from the last couple of days downstairs start to fill the dishwasher, also put in things that are lying around the place. The coffee machine burbles, and then burbles loudly. Turn of the gas flame. A minute later the wife comes in and, without a single word, fills her cup with coffee and milk and sugar and returns to her bedroom. This is an unusual relationship, or do your thoughts differ on this subject? It is abnormal, it is saddening. It is stupid too. Knock on the sons door, he is barely awake. He has a day off from his University, and perhaps it is the change in the weather, he is sleeping well too.

Take the breakfast upstairs, and write these notes whilst finishing the coffee. 

The next thing is to make the bed and to start work upon the rest of the day.

grey, or is it just the weather

 Last night was a succession of unexpected events that led to a late evenings or even early morning meeting at the artists place. This was pleasant, there was a saxophone player there too and jokes were told and wine and similar things consumed.

This morning started badly, but so what. 

It is Sunday, a day for slow starts or church. Opt for the slow start, it is cold outside, and it is cold outside the bed. The icy little room has a single ineffective heater that probably swallows more electricity than the rest of the house. But only when it is on.

The day is grey and cold, and misery is easy. There is very small comfort in anything now. There is an invitation to meet people at the cinema, and there is a small job to be done at the Christmas market next weekend. And that is all.

Perhaps a walkabout would be in order, a chance to see what, if anything at all, is happening in the town. Maybe this will function as something to alleviate the depressions.

late waker

 Yesterday was cold and today is colder. Tomorrow may be colder still, it is winter that is progressing steadily to its zenith. But that is months away yet.

Yesterdays train journey was exhausting, even though it was curious to ride in a train that leans into the curves it is negotiating. This is a bit like a cyclist, just faster. It is not as dangerous as a motorcycle. Return to landshut was simple, a short visit to the shop that will be opening tomorrow to check on the opening times was more complicated. The completely stressed-out proprietress proceeded to scream at the uninvited enquirer, this was unnecessary and even caused raised eyebrows among the others present.

The later evening was spent in the pub, there was talk of acquiring a new tenant for the shop.This is  profitable idea, not bad in itself. A wine merchant's is a quiet form of business.

Today's awakening was late, and take the decision not to go to the gallery meeting. The decision not to apply for further display space has already been made, there will only be future exhibitions there at the express request of the gallery owner.

An exhibition in the local pub would be nice.

The town is filled with people suffering from the first throes of christmas spirit. The street is filled with wooden huts decorated with fake snow and fairy lights, trying to capitalise on the festive times.

cold

 The return journey fro Bayreuth is slightly later than expected, the original train was cancelled, it necame necessary to take an alternative route. 

The night was spent on the floor of the sons apartment on a thin mattress. Awakening was easy, but as the back was vey sore, getting up was not. Eventually got up and ma de the bed, then pushed thenemadresd undernearh the son's bed. He woke with a start and got dressed and combed his hair all in one fluid motion. He had torush off to the university, he had a practice session for one of his exams.

Alone in his flat for now, open the windows to let out the night's air. The son is frightened of the cold.

Last night was a pleasant evening in the local pub. This was a pleasant small place, all filled with um   tables at whoch card players were playing their game. There were no women there. Just men.

The som bin returns, and after a while leave the tiny flat to make the short jourNey to the rsilway station through the old town. We stopped for a cup of coffee on the way. This was hot.

train timetable times

 The time is now eight twenty eight in the morning, and all the small morning chores have been done. At half past six this morning the weather outside was clear with a sprinkling of snow or frost on the roofs opposite the balcony window. Now it is snowing continuously, a light snow slowly turning everything white.

Even the cat has been fed, that grumpy animal ate what was offered and then wandered back into the wife's bedroom to sleep it all off again. The animal has a good life as far as it is possible to tell.

Five minutes later now and the snow has changed to large flakes that are diffusing the view to the bluffs at the end of town.  Now the snow has stopped, it is a quarter to nine.

The bags are mostly packed, and the train will leave Landshut railway station at eleven fifty six, there is time for a bite to eat and a drink of coffee in the station.

Look forward to meeting the son at his flat in Bayreuth and having a conversation with him.

the shadow of a cyclist passing over a bridge

 Sleep was destroyed during the night, the reason is not clear. There was a long waking period and then there was a solid round of sleep until eight in the morning. This was annoying, an early rising would have been better.

But so what, there is nobody else being critical. Breakfast shower and tidy things as always, and then take the walk up to the castle. Climb up the "Ochsenklavier" as the steep path is called. There are no steps in the brick-paved path, but there are regular ridges to provide grip. At the top, gasp for breath, but carry on past the castle into the park. At the top of the park sit down on a park bench and watch a worker occupied with the complex task of draining the water out of the small fountain. The fountain needs to be drained before the first of the winter's frost to save the pipes from bursting. The man descents into a manhole in the centre of the path once the water is sufficiently drained. It is strange to see him emerge from the hole, for a short while it looks as if there is a torso and head alone without legs in the middle of the path.

In the mulberry tree garden the artist rings up to say that the insurance company has finally agreed to pay up. That is good news. It would still be sensible for him to obtain legal advice. 

Go on down to the cafe at the primary school at the bottom of the hill. Have a roll and a cup of coffee. The woman behind the counter is friendly today, more so than yesterday.

On the way home, try to take a picture of the shadow of a passing cyclist as it falls upon a graffiti-covered wall. This requires patience, for it is windy and the sun is obscured by a shadow every time that a cyclist passes over the bridge.

Shop, then go home.

The work for the day is done.

The animal eats more than her owner

 A walk today, around the castle, skirting the park and then down to the river and back up through town. There was a break in the caveat the bottom of the hill. A telephone call was made, and at some stage the artist promises to deliver the remaining small wooden pieces to be photographed. Then that work can continue.

The cold weather is not a good thing. It is a time of constant slight headaches and strange feelings of chill. Perhaps it is the aftermath of that infection that the doctor diagnosed, the infection which was so upsetting two weeks ago.

At home, use the vacuum cleaner on the room. The wife is silent, she does not wish to speak with her husband at all. Well now, that is just too bad.

In the evening, feed the cat. 

More cat food will have to be purchased. The animal eats more than her owner.

So it seems, anyway.

all that life is made of now

 The morning is almost done now and there has been very little done. This is a cause for a feeling of some shame, for there is a lot to be done. Breakfast and shower and clothing sorting is not a lot. The rooms need sweeping again, for example. The clothing needs to be washed. And the bloody project needs to be continued to the point at which it is done.

These things are all that life is made of now, now that there is no paid work to attend to any more.

This was a complaint from a friend a week ago. She had finished working at the job she did not like to start her retirement. She complained of a lack of something and a feeling of guilt, in fact she had to force herself to remain in her flat and to deal with the housework first.

Oh that is an aside. The weather outside is grey and there is not much to be done there. The next thing to be done is to bring the clothing down to the washing machine and to start it. Hopefully the clothing will all survive.

Perhaps the room should be tidied too. There is no great wish to do that though.

And the artist will need to be spoken too, so that the work on the project may continue.

Or it is a combination of both.

 The bells outside are sounding for the Sunday's religious celebrations, it is ten to eleven and they are being beaten continuously. It is a steady clamour.

Now they have stopped.

It was a long sleep-filled night, there was just one disturbance at a quarter to four in the morning. That was all.

Breakfast at eight on this Sunday, this is a softly lit cold day. The light is reminiscent of places by the sea, despite the fact that Landshut is nowhere near any sea. Still, the boat hanging from the overhanging roof's beams outside the window looks at home as it turns from side to side. It has two soft toys in it , a tiger and a mouse. They are the discarded toys of the son, discarded as he grew out of them and started to play with more technical things.

It is cold, the warm clothes are welcome. Breakfast has left a feeling of inner warmth, which makes it all easier. Reading the news a short while ago illustrates the speed at which the prospective rulers of the United States of America intend to alter the fabric of that nation. They believe that it will be an improvement, a return to the religious fundamentalism attitudes that fled from Europe two centuries ago. There will be plenty of underpaid workers for industry and plenty of underpaid cannon fodder for the military. The wealth of the country will be shared by a small percentage and the rest will be left with their dreams. This may be a flaw in democracy or perhaps it is a flaw inherent in humans.

Or it is a combination of both.

It will be necessary to have a conversation with the artist who made the small statues of those who were to die at Auschwitz. There was a personal record made of so many before they were murdered like beasts in a battery. His pieces are good, there is something to be learnt from them. Why is there a personal shyness on the part of this photographer to approach them?

a warm welcome from the cat

 It is becoming difficult to wake up early, and it is harder to get out of bed. The alarm at seven served as a final reminder to get out of the bed or else be late for the appointment for breakfast in Munich.

It all works smoothly enough, then there is ice on the car window. This needs to be removed with a scraper, which takes time. Then the vehicle will not start, it takes an alarming amount of time for the engine to start firing. There is fear that the battery will be exhausted before the vehicle will start. A short inspection under the bonnet to check for possible vermin that may have chewed at cables or something. Martens like to do that, for whatever reason. There are no signs of any infestation. Drop the lid on the engine, this makes a loud sudden noise which causes a group of policemen on the opposite side of the street to go on alert. They calm down soon enough.

The car starts, but the delay is done. The delay is made worse by heavy fog on the route, which makes it necessary to drive at a reduced speed.

Arrive at the address in Munich, and find the breakfast there waiting. The host is impatient, but there is no help for it. The alternative would have been to be too early, and this would have been a waste of time too.

Listen to the host talk. That is the way he is. He is an incessant talker, a man with a great memory for dates and events, and a constant drive to pass these informations on to the people around him.

We take his car to the centre of Munich, to the old food market. He loves this place dearly, we walk around for several hours. He speaks about the times fifty years ago, and of course much has changed. There used to be a stall selling only eggs, this was no longer able to stay in business with just this one product. The market used to supply the local people and the local hotels, and the nobility too. All of those markets have changed, or gone away.

Return to the host's house and finish off his coffee. He is now an older man, and will need his rest.

Take the long route back to landshut, return home to the cold room to receive a warm welcome from the cat.

flogged to death for advertising

 Downstairs there is  a quick greeting for the cat. A short visit to the bathroom, and then the feeding of the cat. The animal is hungry. She normally sniffs at the proffered food and then acts as if she is not that hungry.
This time she just pushes her jaws into the food and eats.

Make breakfast, the usual stuff, but no avocado today. The one hanging in the green net appears to be too hard. In this cooler weather they take longer to soften. The cat wants to be let out now, no, it wants to go into the living room, the animal seems to have a hard time making up its mind as to what its desires are.

Take the breakfast upstairs and read the news on the computer. There is a composite picture of the cabinet of secretaries desired by the new president of the US, this makes the politicians look like the cast of a horror show. Perhaps they are, perhaps this is all about the truth hiding in plain sight.

Succumb to flicking through the offerings on social media. These things all seem rather silly, there are very few offerings that show any great development. They are all things that are being flogged to death for advertising income.

Go downstairs and have a shower and shave. It is light outside, and the sky is grey.

sleep was a joy

 Sleep was a joy last night, it was almost strange to waken again. It was dark outside this morning, much like every morning at this time of year. Later on it was foggy too. Stay at home and try to organise small things, somehow the body is cold and unhappy. This icy weather will not get better.

There was a long peal on the telephone this morning, and let it ring on until it stops. It will be for the wife, so why interfere?

Take a really short walk about town today, and buy a new watch strap, for the old one is falling apart. The jeweller is friendly, and he cleans the exterior of the watch so that it looks much like new. All the patina is gone, but it will be back.

Have a cup of coffee and a roll. It is probable that the sniffing and sneezing is the sign of some infection, it is unpleasant. The coffee tastes of nothing in particular, it is not really at all good.

The evening task is to make a table of the pictures. Take the computer to the artists studio and compare each file to each sculpture and note the number and the fitting file number. There are fifty of the tiny pieces, and superficially some are similar. A tag with a number is the solution. The names of the picture files are then put into the same Numbers file and that is it. Now the searches should be easier, and there will be less handling of the pieces.

There is time for a quick drink in the pub this evening.

before the 'phone died

Awake to the  sound of the brother working on the ground floor of his Franconian house, and start the day just getting dressed, just like that. It is still quite dark outside, it is in fact pitch black outside the streetlights of the small village. Finish dressing, make the bed and pack the stuff into the rucksack. That is all done, then just head out for the car.

The brother has a futuristic car on here for a day or two. It is partly electrical, and it makes the drive down to Stuttgart seem easy. 

There is a very pleasant garden there of his design. It is pleasant to relax in, and it is pleasant even now at the onset of winter. He has done a good job. He takes photographs of his garden and so take a picture of him doing this.

It is a very posh firm, it is a publishing house. They have a large restaurant and café on their ground floor. This is all very pleasant, just the coffee is not up to standard at all. Drive back to Würzburg with the brother, and get out at the station. He goes on to realise his dentist appointment.

There is time for a cup of coffee in a café some distance from the railway station, and a buttered roll to go with it. It is much more pleasant here than at the station, and it is generally just very much more pleasant. Return to the station in time to get the train to Furth, to meet up there with an old friend. There is just time for a cup of coffee and a chat, then it is back to the trains again. This time take an city underground railway in to Nuremberg city centre. Buy a roll with a couple of Nuremberger Bratwurst in it. Walk through the pedestrian zone in the steadily increasing rain, by the time the entrance to the station has been passed it is a veritable downpour. 

Waste time taking a few snapshots around the station, and then the train for Regensburg comes in. Once in the train has left, start to relax. Then, at the next station a man with a bicycle boards the train. He is together with another man. The cyclist talks continuously, almost non stop. When he pauses for air, his partner lets off a comment, and then he is off again.

Change again in Regensburg, show the ticket and the identity document to the very charming red headed train attendant. 

Finally, arrive back in Landshut, where it is snowing. The mobile 'phones battery is almost empty, there is just enough to flash the image of the ticket, a Qcode at the driver before the phone died.

Wish the wife a pleasant evening, there is a grunt in reply.

Retire to the garret room, at least there is self-respect in that

railway

 The early morning vanishes in a blurry rush, there is a train to catch. pack all the final things into the rucksack bag and leave for the bus stop At the station have roll and a cup of coffee whilst waiting for the train which has a ten minute delay.

In regensburg, run four hundred metres to catch the train waiting at the other end of the platform.

in Nurembsrg, the train is delayed again, all of ten minutes.

And finally, in Würzburg, the railway station toilet is a stinking

putrid 

mess

This is not right.

Everything is in order. That is what it felt like, upon awakening. After about an hour, after having done all the morning routines, the post-awakening things, there occurred the inward collapse, that state were the mind could no longer concentrate on anything much, and it was only sensible to lie down again. There is a blanket to cover up with, and set an alarm. Hey Siri, set an alarm for half an hour. Siri replies her usual Irish reply. 

Afterwards go to a small café, but everything is cold and miserable and the coffee tastes like sawdust might. They are putting up the Christmas tree in front of the town hall, and there are three people in some fancy red uniform hanging about signalling the beginning of Fasching. The uniforms have "Narhalla Landshut" embroidered upon them.

Go home, realise that there is something still wrong, whatever this might be. Something is not as healthy as it should be. 

At home, feed the cat and see that there are few tins of cat food left. There is now a new chore, which is to get cat food. Oh this is fantastic.

Upstairs again, and the phone rings. There is a conversation with a friend from a long time back, make a date for the next few days sometime to meet and catch up. After the call, go to the super market and get cat food and pretzels, and a bag of apples. At home again, it becomes impossible to stay awake. Put out the bag for the journey tomorrow.

And so nearly fall asleep standing. This is not right.

carcass of the day

 It is now twenty-one past one on Sunday and last nights visit to the blues concert has been recovered from. It was a so much better concert than the one of the day before. 

But it was late, and one of the artists in attendance got drunk enough to be unsteady and so he was walked home to his flat by this humble self. He was too unsteady to wheel his bicycle. But the result of this was that by the time home was reached it was two in the morning.

The body collected its due sleep and cashed it in straight away.

The pictures of the tiny statues were well received yesterday, pictures of naked people modelled in wood. The concert was good, they were all good musicians.

The day started at eight today, a message on the phone. The munich photographer has informed of his awakening and his trivial activities . That is so nice of him. He is one of the people who can use his personal pronoun very many times in a sentence and countless times in a paragraph. Fell back to sleep promptly.

Now that breakfast is done and the pills taken, the body washed of all the smoke and kitchen smells from yesterday it is time to proceed to scratch at what is left of the carcass of the day.

a decent drink

  Yesterdays performance kin the Portuguese place opposite to home was loud, everyone swaying to Bavarian versions of rock classics. They used the melody of Stairway to Heaven for a love song.

It is becoming enjoyable to be the curmudgeon in the corner. It was a concert for donations only, and the modest donation placed in the collection was refused on account of its being too modest. Thus the show was for free. The meeting at the gallery today with some of the same people spoke of such a lovely evening.

Then the discussion turned to politics.

In the evening there was a show at the local place favoured by all the local culture vultures. The music was really good and the atmosphere was really bad.

Now in a pub having a decent drink.

yet another neoliberal egomaniac

 Things are not as they should be. This morning, this is to be felt in the bones and the snivels. These things make getting out of bed an unpleasant chore. Downstairs, make breakfast and see that there is a large carton of pizza on the cooker. This is where the wife left it yesterday. The cat has already investigated, removing a slice and eating the meaty bits. That is on the floor now.

The question is whether it is possible to carry on with the day normally, as planned, or simply not to do so. Take the finished breakfast upstairs, and enjoy it whilst reading the news. The American newspapers are all being smart after the case and are dissecting the failure of the minority to win an election. They will be doing that until it is all desiccated and dusty.

The German government has collapsed after its long struggle with yet another neoliberal egomaniac. Such people are simply inhuman and should have their intelligence put to use where it will do nobody harm.

The cat is attentive this morning, as always. It inspects everything, and then it has had enough and wants to go elsewhere.

The body is complaining now, drowsiness is setting in. Lie down and cover up for an hour, until the spasm goes.

This is all not really normal, let us hope it does not stay.

round in circles

Made an early appointment at the doctor's practice today upon the recommendation of a friend, a friend who had experienced heart attacks in the past. He said an abundance of caution was better in a case such as this. It is a damp and rainy day, after breakfast take the car to the practice. The practice is busy, as the doctor had had a few days off, and her practice was catching up on the backlog. Wait over an hour and a half. During this time skim through a boring magazine, then start to play with the mobile 'phone. The chat program offers itself, so practice what is to be reported to the doctor, and see what the program says.

The following is the input and then the programs reply:

a burning sensation above the sternum, shortly afterwards moving down to the sternum itself. Breathing is painful. Afterwards itmoves down to below the sternum, it is painful, breathing is difficult. Then there is nausea, a glass of eater is vomited shortly after being drunk. Balance and walking become difficult. The pain moves down to the stomach. There is a strong sense of fear. what is this?

Chat GPT replied:

"The symptoms you’re describing — a burning sensation above and around the sternum, painful and difficult breathing, nausea with vomiting, difficulty with balance and walking, pain spreading to the stomach, and a strong sense of fear — could be indicative of a serious medical condition. These symptoms could align with a range of possibilities, including:

1. Heart Attack (Myocardial Infarction)

• A heart attack can cause chest pain that radiates down, often felt as a burning or pressure in the chest and upper abdomen. Nausea, vomiting, and a sense of impending doom or fear are common symptoms.

• Pain or discomfort may spread to areas like the stomach, shoulders, or arms.

2. Acid Reflux or GERD with Esophageal Spasms

• GERD can cause burning pain around the sternum (heartburn), but it is less likely to cause significant balance issues. However, in severe cases, acid reflux can mimic heart attack-like symptoms.

3. Panic Attack

• Panic attacks can cause chest discomfort, difficulty breathing, a strong sense of fear, and sometimes nausea. However, they don’t typically lead to vomiting or balance issues directly.

4. Gastrointestinal Issue (e.g., Gastritis, Ulcer)

• Intense gastritis or an ulcer can cause pain in the upper abdomen or chest that worsens with breathing, but this is less likely to cause severe breathing issues or balance problems.

Given the combination of these symptoms, particularly chest pain, breathing difficulty, and nausea with a sense of fear, it is important to seek immediate medical attention. A medical professional can help determine the exact cause through physical examination, blood tests, and imaging if necessary."

This was all moderately frightening, and later the doctor did the tests much as described. The result was that it was some form of  gastrointestinal issue, Nothing really serious, but there was a cyst on a kidney that would need checking on in a few months time.

Afterwards, went to the cafe at the highway roundabout, and admired the cars driving in circles.