the alternative is bleak

 Last night was spent admiring the hallucinations that seem to happen quite spontaneously. There are no drugs involved whatsoever. There is a cityscape of a large city, perhaps New York viewed from the sea, and a night sky filled with a billion stars and quite a few nebulae and the odd galaxy in the middle distance. This may all sound quite mad, but at least now the various bodily functions seem to be working as they should. It is one of the difficulties involved in living as a recluse in ones own house.

The ice cold shivery feeling in the legs and the arms has gone away, hopefully to stay. The hallucinations will be missed, but you don't get anything for free and a fair exchange is no robbery.

Breakfast at ten. The legs are still very shaky, just walk slowly like a very old man. The current state is actually that of an old man, so this is an interesting look into the future as well. Take the stairs one step at a time. The kitchen is a mess. The wife has been buying food again, but to what purpose? There is no point in having stocks at a percentage if they are not consumed.

The cat comes out from the bedroom, close the door lest there be cause for disturbance, and feed the cat. The cat is attentive whilst being fed. The work tops in the kitchen are covered with things, a family scaled package of what must be ten bread rolls for example. Make breakfast, balancing the plates on the cooker. Take the breakfast upstairs, and settle down to the first meal in five days. It is difficult to get the stuff down, what is normally a light breakfast is heavy.

Eat up anyway, common sense says that the alternative is bleak.