just surviving

wake early, look at the green glowing hands of the wristwatch, they are hard to focus on in the dark. It is just five in the morning.
The cat is making unhappy noises. Get it out, it wants to go to to the cat tray. Go to the bathroom, hear the creak of the cat doors open and  close.

And then go back to bed.
And fall fast asleep, there is no-, where else to go to? Nothing else worth doing.


It is light, the second awakening, the bright light from the sky glaring in through the window. A monochrome sky, will turn blue later.

Go out to the kitchen, give the coffee maker a short wipe. Turn on the machine, grind coffee, Put two slices of toast into the toaster.

Make a tiny breakfast tray, retire to the desk in the bedroom, start to write these notes.
These notes of the mornings of the last few years,
The notes that will continue until at least the end of work
a document of just surviving.