gnawing at what is left of sanity

Tuesday
first of November, All Hallows, tomorrow all saints day. A Holiday, a day of no work.
The cat is purring fortissimo, and is chewing at electrical cables again. She will have a breakthrough one of these days, then she will be a shocked cat. Pat the cat on the head, stroke it's back.
the close fur is warm and comforting under the hand.
The cat purrs, maybe with pleasure, maybe in anticipation of food.

Go to the bathroom. the orchid is still half alive. Like the picture on the blog that is no more.

Put the days clothes on, make coffee. The steady hiss in the head, the radio with no aerial.
The black dogging follower is there saying-
-do what you will you will never get it all done-
-do it yourself, nobody will help you, nobody will understand.
-it probably will not work, and you do not have the strength,


The son is up cheerful, happy, unconcerned, worrying about programming problems.
There is no point in understanding all of this.
Thirty five years ago euclid's logic and step by step was enough.
It is'nt any more.

And the black dog is gnawing at what is left of sanity,

Sit and drink coffee.
Write these notes and let them go, it is like writing on bits of paper and binding these to helium ballons.
Who knows who what why when will read.